In the Army Now (film)

In the Army Now is a 1994 American war comedy film about two laid-back men joining the US Army Reserves and later sent off to fight a Libyan invasion of Chad.
 * Directed by Daniel Petrie Jr.. Written by Ken Kaufman, Stu Krieger, Daniel Petrie Jr., Fax Bahr, and Adam Small.

'''Sleep tight, America! The safety of the free world rests in his hands!'''taglines

Dialogue

 * [Bones is irritated with a phone call when he's trying to get it on with Gabriella]
 * Bones Conway: Jack! Get the phone.
 * Jack Kaufmann: Who is it?
 * Bones: It's a freak calling about wild geese migrating.
 * Christine Jones: [as Jack dials] Bones! [pulls him near-naked out for everybody to see]
 * Bones: Wha- No, don't. Christine, don't. Look.
 * Christine: Which way?
 * Bones: Who cares?
 * Christine: North or south?
 * Bones: South.
 * Christine: Yes! Yes, yes!
 * Bones: What?
 * Christine: [sees Bones and Jack nonplussed] You guys, don't you remember? About the code? So that if we got called up for active duty then we would know it was for real.
 * Bones: It's gotta be a mistake.
 * Christine: It's gotta be Chad.
 * Fred Ostroff: Hello, Mama? It's Frederick. Uh, you sittin' down?
 * Christine: Chad is the African country, the one that Libya's about to invade.
 * Jack: Uh, turn off the music. [attendees groan]
 * Fred : Do you remember when you told me that every Black man should visit the motherland?
 * Christine: Bones, why do you think I chose water purification?
 * Bones: Mmm, is your brother a pool man?
 * Christine Jones: No. It's because Chad is in a desert. And water purification is the Reserve occupation most likely to be called up if there's a desert war. And there's a desert war, and we're going!


 * [the reservists are deployed at the XVIII Airborne Corps' FOB Dragon]
 * 1st Sgt. Brandon Williams: I am First Sergeant Brandon T. Williams. It is my intention to run this company like a clock. If one gear slips in my clock, my clock'll tell the wrong time. If one spring is loose in my clock, my clock'll tell the wrong time. First Sgt. Williams likes his clock to tell the right time. Do you understand me?
 * Soldiers: Yes, First Sergeant!
 * PFC Bones Conway: What did he say?
 * Pvt Jack Kaufman: I don't know. Something about his clock being broken.
 * 1Sgt Williams: [confronts Conway] Have my words fallen upon deaf ears?
 * PFC Conway: Yes, Sergeant! I mean, no, Sergeant.
 * 1Sgt Williams: Don't you know I'm your first sergeant?
 * PFC Conway: Actually, I wish you were my first sergeant but I already had a couple ones already.
 * 1Sgt Williams: [incensed] DROP, AND GIVE ME PUSH-UPS!!! You will continue to do push-ups until you learn to address me as First Sergeant, is that clear?
 * PFC Conway: Yes, First Sergeant!
 * 1Sgt Williams: Count off! [Conway starts push-ups]


 * [a disagreement at the mess hall between Bones and Special Forces SSGT Stern is seemingly defused until Stern throws Christine's mess plate contents at Bones, but he misses and hits a colonel who just came in. Everybody stands at attention]
 * Col Washington: As you were! [mess hall soldiers resume eating. faces Sgt Stern] Son, I bet the mess sergeant could use a volunteer to peel potatoes.
 * SSgt. Stern: Yes sir!
 * Washington: Can we count on you?
 * Stern: Yes sir!
 * Washington: Carry on. [leaves]


 * [at a campfire, Jack is irritated at Bones and Christine sharing mutual affection]
 * Jack: Oh, that's it. Dammit! I saw her first! And look what happens! The same thing that happened with Gabriella. I saw her first. And Wanda Tushman, in the third grade. I saw her first! And that girl in Palm Springs that turned out to be the guy. I saw that thing first too. You know why I'm not just strangling you right now?
 * Bones: 'Cause you can't cook a snake?
 * Jack: No. Because no matter how long we've been friends... I never thought you'd be the kind of guy that would save our lives... let alone kill a snake, but you did.
 * Bones: Hey, man, thanks.

Taglines

 * Sleep tight, America! The safety of the free world rests in his hands!

Cast

 * Pauly Shore - Private First Class Bones Conway
 * Lori Petty - Private Christine Jones
 * David Alan Grier - Private Fred Ostroff
 * Andy Dick - Private Jack Kaufman
 * Esai Morales - Staff Sergeant Stern
 * Lynn Whitfield - Drill Sergeant Ladd
 * Fabiana Udenio - Gabriella
 * Art LaFleur - First Sergeant Brandon T. Williams
 * Glenn Morshower - Recruiting Sergeant Richard Day
 * Beau Billingslea - Sergeant Daniels
 * Peter Spellos - Mr. Quinn