It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie is a 2002 Christmas television movie featuring the Muppets.

Dialogue

 * Daniel: [after having saved Kermit from freezing to death] You're alive! Now I can save you!
 * Kermit: Yeah, well, do me a favor, and don't bother. Nobody can save me.
 * Daniel: I think I can. You see, my name is Daniel. And I've been sent from above in the name of justice, to right or wrong, and help you get the theater back.
 * Kermit: You? You look some kind of ice cream man from Hello, Dolly.
 * Daniel: Well, normally, I'm an accountant.
 * Kermit: Well, normally, I'd like to sit and listen to this, but, uh... I got other things on my mind. Goodbye.
 * Daniel: No, you don't understand. I know that Bitterman changed the contract.
 * Kermit: How do you know that? Oh, wait a second, you don't run one of those Muppet Internet fansites, do you?
 * Daniel: No, no, no, I'm a friend, and I'm here to help. I'm sure if we put our heads together, we could come up with a plan.
 * Kermit: Sure. Whatever.
 * Daniel: What would the Boss do? Hey! We'll call the press. Alert the media! Start a frenzy!
 * Kermit: No way, pal. Bitterman owns the paper, she owns the TV stations, and three quarters of the Internet.
 * Daniel: How could one person own so much?
 * Kermit: Corporate synergy. It's outta control. [shows him the NBC logo on his flipper] Now, could you please just leave me alone? Please!
 * Daniel: Actually, I'm not allowed to. Besides, you should not be alone right now. You're not yourself.
 * Kermit: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
 * Daniel: Kermit the Frog would not walk out on his friends on Christmas Eve.
 * Kermit: [snaps] What do you know about my friends, huh?! I'll tell you what I know! My friends would be better off without me, that's what I know!
 * Daniel: What? That is not true.
 * Kermit: It is true, it is true! In fact, I've ruined their lives, and I wish I'd never been born!
 * Daniel: [aghast] Oh... No... You did not just say that, you did not just say that!
 * Kermit: I did just say it! I said, "I wish I'd never been born!"
 * Daniel: What am I supposed to do now?!
 * Kermit: I wish I'd never been born! There, I said it again! I wish I'd never been B-O-R-N, born! I wish I'd never been born!
 * Daniel: [reading from a manual] Chapter 12, Paragraph Two. "If the subject tells the field agent, that he wished he'd never been born..."
 * Kermit: Psst, psst. Come close. I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!
 * Daniel: "...then the field agent is required to adjust the world accordingly."
 * Kermit: Yeah, do whatever you like, because, did I mention, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!