J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

J. R. "Bob" Dobbs is the figurehead of the Church of the SubGenius. His image is derived from a piece of 1950s clip-art.

The Book of the SubGenius



 * Everyone here is stupid.
 * The SubGenius must have Slack.


 * Act like a dumbshit and they'll treat you like an equal.


 * Don't just eat that hamburger, eat the HELL out of it!


 * Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.


 * Just because some jackass is an atheist doesn't mean that his prophets and gods are any less false.


 * Pull the wool over your own eyes.


 * Relax in the safety of your own delusions.


 * They may be Pink, but their money's still green!


 * This "Church of the SubGenius" is the best scam I ever pulled.


 * You'll PAY to know what you really think.
 * You know how dumb the average person is? Well, by definition, half of 'em are even dumber than THAT.


 * "Too much" is always better than not enough.


 * I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to.


 * Give me (Slack, food, money, a job, etc.), or KILL ME!


 * Eternal Salvation — Or TRIPLE your money back!


 * Do What Keepeth Thou from Wilting Shall Be the Loophole of The Law.


 * I'd rather be lucky than good any day.


 * I always lie . . . and I'm always right.

Revelation X: The "Bob" Apocryphon

 * There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say, "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there are two kinds of people in the world, and the other kind," and there's who don't say. Well, then there's me.


 * If you have no Pipe I will give you one; if you do not, I will take it away from you.


 * [on capital punishment] Forgive them first... then kill them.


 * [when asked if he was interested in discovering what was behind the Veil of Illusion] HELL no! I'm interested in what's behind the veil of ORDINARY REALITY.


 * Pull off your pants and roll in your own mistakes.


 * In My Father's Midway Are Many Bumper Car Rides.


 * I choose to believe in an afterlife only because it is too horrible to believe that such a cool stud as myself could be allowed to disappear from the universe. [Diary entry, age 15]


 * There IS no God — but if you're any kind of real American, you'll demand that He treat you as an EQUAL.


 * I am the global village idiot!


 * If humor is based on the misfortune of others, then I suppose you might call me the greatest comedian of all time.


 * Don't forgive them, for they know exactly what they do.


 * The stupider it looks, the more important it probably is.

Online videos

 * SubGenius videos on YouTube