Jak II

Jak II is a 2003 video game and a sequel to Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy.

Jak

 * (first line) "I'm gonna kill Praxis!"
 * (After first meeting a disguised Kor) "You look like a reasonably smart man. I want information! Where the hell am I?"
 * "It's been a tough ride."
 * "You know what? Do it your way and I'll do it mine. Just don't come crying to me when the walls fall down."
 * "Kill Metal Heads? Get toys? Sounds good to me."
 * "Precursor Stone, gun, nest. (Activates gun) HAHA, eat this!

Daxter

 * "Okay, I swear that's the last time I ever, ever, touch any stupid Precursor crap!"
 * "Ding ding! Third floor! Body chains, roach food, torture devices. (finds Jak) Hey buddy, you seen any heroes around here? Woah! What'd they do to you? Jak, it's me, Daxter!"
 * "That's a fine hello! I've been crawling around in this place, risking my tail — literally — to save you! I've been looking for you for two years! Say something, just this once!!!"
 * "Don't say it. Don't even chuckle. Next time, you turn the valve."
 * "You're sending us in, tough guy! So what's with this 'we'll deal a body blow' stuff?!"
 * (holding the vibrating Shard) "Wow! This puppy's got some vibra-a-a-a-t-t-i-o-o-n-n to it. This baby will put a smile on your face!"
 * "The Baron pumped our boy here full of Dark Eco, and it did something to him. Now he's got super moves or something...and a few anger issues as well."
 * (watching Ashelin leave) Whoo, she's a betty. And she likes you, Jak. Not that I can account for her taste. I bet you'd love to pin some medals on her chest, huh?
 * (Jak had just asked Daxter if he wanted to race against Erol) Against that crazy loon, Erol? No way! You've got the handlebars, brother. And you'd better keep us alive or I will never speak to you again...obviously.
 * "It ain't no petting zoo out there... peeps be gettin' deep sixed!"
 * "I'd like to give him a touching moment."
 * "Slow down, Jak and the fat man!"
 * (looking at the camera) Game rights?!
 * (Yelling to Erol) "Ah, blow it off your ear! You were bottle fed, weren't you!"
 * (Looking at the lens) "That's some peeper, huh? (Sniffs) Something's cooking. Hmm...kind of smells like... (tail catches on fire) Burnt Ottsel?! Waaaaaaaahhhhhh!!"
 * "Two Samos the Sages? Wah! Jak, they're multiplying!"
 * (after Jak turns back to normal) "What the heck was that?! Sheesh! Remind me not to piss you off! Come on, tall, dark and gruesome, we're outta here. I, uh, bought you some new threads. Put 'em on."

Samos the Sage

 * "For every age there is a time of trial. The rocks faced such a fire before they were the strength beneath our feet. The plants braved vast winds before their roots could give us life. As a sage of considerable years, I have known only one such great ordeal. Yet the hero it created was a champion of all time."

Kor

 * "Finally! The last Rift Gate has been opened!"
 * "You cannot hide from me, boy!"
 * "A deal is of no value if you can't deliver, my dear Baron. I grow impatient with these puny gestures. Give me the agreed upon Eco soon, or the deal is off, and your precious city will pay the price!
 * "I will find that stone, even if I have to crush this city, one brick at a time!"

Erol

 * (about Daxter, who has fled) Forget the rat, the Baron wants him. (To Jak) We've been waiting for you.
 * He is surprisingly resistant to your 'experiments,' Baron Praxis; I fear the Dark Warrior Program has failed.
 * You're the talk of the town, Jak; you give the people hope. How pathetic! I would've enjoyed killing you in prison, but now, it'll be so much more fun to take you on the track, in front of the entire city! I can hear the roar of the crowd now, as everyone sees their hope die.
 * I want more than just to win, Eco freak! I want you!
 * You know, Keira loves a winner. Someday she'll be my mechanic.

Baron Praxis

 * "Ah, a brave man of the people. And who is this worthy opponent? In my world, good men are either bought, or broken. So which is it going to be? [...] Fool! Don't you get it? All the heroes died long ago! Only survival remains... By whatever means! This city is mine! These lives are mine! This WAR is mine! And in war, people die. Kill him."
 * (Propaganda post) Remember, even friends can be enemies. Turn them all in!
 * (Propaganda post) Work harder! Eat less! (Spoken very quickly) Drink only when I tell you! (Spoken slowly and seriously) Sleep...is optional.
 * (Propoganda post) Work hard for the freedom I may someday give you.
 * (Propoganda post) Defy and die. Welcome to Haven City. All laws are enforced for your safety. Obey, and you will not be punished. The city is safe. I will not allow harm to befall you. Trust me. Rest assured, I will destroy the Metal Heads one way or another.
 * (Propoganda post) All Metal Heads must die!

Dialogue

 * Daxter: Whew! Being a big hero sure makes ya thirsty!
 * [Daxter opens the water hatch, and Torn gains an annoyed expression as the sound of water coming through the pipe is heard. The substance that comes out is sludge, however, and not water. Daxter gags and shuts the water off while you can barely hear Torn chuckling]
 * Torn: The Baron turned off all water to the slums. He's willing to sacrifice innocent lives just to destroy the Underground. I shouldn't be surprised. I've seen his evil before, while serving in the Krimzon Guard. That's why I quit.
 * Jak: You were a Krimzon Guard? Heh. Oh, that explains your charming sense of humor.
 * Torn: My friend in the Guard tells me the valve to turn the water back on is located outside the city, at the pumping station.
 * Jak: Outside the city? What about the security walls?
 * Daxter: What about the Metal Heads?! It ain't no petting zoo out there. Peeps be getting deep sixed!
 * Torn: Find the large drain pipe in the north wall. It'll take you outside the city to the pumping station. Get to the main valve and open it. If you survive, the slums will be indebted to you. If not, maybe we'll have a touching moment of silence in your honor.
 * Daxter: I'd like to give him a "touching moment".


 * Samos: Take the seed to Onin now. She will prepare it for Samos.
 * Daxter: You mean you?
 * Samos: No! The other me, Daxter! My younger self needs the seed's power to become... sagely.
 * Daxter: So let me get this straight. It's safe to say by bringing your younger self the life seed now, we helped you become the sage you are today! We helped you get your powers in the first place! And you never thanked us?
 * Samos: Thank you, Daxter. Now go do it!


 * Torn: One of the Baron's mining operations is under attack by the Metal Heads.
 * Jak: That's not our problem.
 * Torn: It is our problem when the foreman's one of the Underground's best informants! His name is Vin, and he's just valuable enough to save. Find the warp gate at the power station and use it to travel to the strip mine so you can rescue Vin's pathetic hide.
 * Daxter: Hey, Tattooed Wonder, how come we get all the crappy missions?!
 * Torn: [emphasizing each word] Because I... don't... like... you.
 * Daxter: [meekly] Fair enough.
 * Torn: Whatever deal the Baron made with the Metal Heads, the city's eco is almost gone, and his time is running out. If we don't get the kid back on the throne soon, there may not be a city left to defend.


 * Krew: What is that horrible smell? [sniffs the air]
 * Daxter: Ohhh, great! We do your dirty work and we come back smelling worse than a wet Hip Hog in a warm barn! [sniffs himself and turns to Jak.] This could have a serious impact on the lady factor.
 * Krew: No. [Krew belches.] Uh, I think it was my lunch, actually. [Jak and Daxter look disgusted.] Nice work in the sewers, 'ey. I guess you're looking for that weapon upgrade, mmm? Well, there's a Blaster mod stashed in some crates at the Port. Find it, and it's yours. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!


 * Krew: I have a proposition for you, Jak. Racing is the biggest sport in the city! Erol is the undisputed grand champion. He's crazy and dangerous on the track. Haha. My kind of guy. Only a fool would dare race against him, 'ey! And that's where you two come in. A client of mine is looking for a fast driver for her racing team. Here's a security pass to get you into the stadium section. Uh, and your contract, with just a few trifles for me. I've ah, already signed your name to save time, mmmmmnn.
 * [Daxter takes the contract and reads it in a very fast manner. During this, Jak almost falls asleep.]
 * Daxter: "We, the racers, hereby agree to give Krew all proceeds from race earnings, endorsement fees, broadcast royalties, syndications residuals, vehicle sponsorships, mall appearance fees, collectible card assets, fast-food tie-ins, use of likeness rights, talk show deals, clothing lines, all print rights including book, novella, comic, pamphlet, tickertape, neon sign and bathroom graffiti designs..." [large breath] "...Toy rights, shoe lines, mood rings, game rights..." [stops and looks at the camera, thus breaking the fourth wall] GAME RIGHTS!? [resumes reading] "...Vitamin endorsements, city kickbacks, movie deals, and of course, all death and dismemberment accident insurance claims."
 * Krew: Heh-heh-heh. We can work out the tiny details later. If you can get from here to the Race Garage near the stadium in less than 3 minutes, my client said that she would consider letting you drive for her team. Make me proud, mmmm!


 * Torn: One of my old guard comrades was sent to the Pumping Station. There's been no word from the patrol, and after what you guys ran into out there, I'm afraid she may need some help.
 * Jak: [curiously] Did you say "she"?
 * Torn: [in serious tone] Don't even think about it. [roars at Daxter] Stop that! This is serious, you moron!
 * Daxter: Whaa! That's right: Don't mess with the sugar.
 * Torn: This friend of mine has helped the Underground many times before. Go back to the Pumping Station and take a look around. Render assistance if needed. Now get your squirrelly ass outta here.


 * Daxter: Eh, what the heck are we doing risking our lives to rescue some old Krimson Guard hag anyway? She's probably got more facial hair than me.
 * Ashelin: Who the hell are you 2?
 * Daxter: Mmm, I do love a woman in uniform. Wanna bark some orders at me? Woof-woof! I'm your soldier on the front lines of love. Waiter, foxhole for two!
 * [Ashlin aims her blaster at Daxter's groin]
 * Ashelin: Keep talking and I'll raise your voice a couple of octaves.
 * Jak: Easy. Torn asked us to help you.
 * Ashelin: I don't need help. But you might. We've got company.


 * Daxter: [to Tess] Hey, sugarplum. You new here? Well, whatcha got that's, uh, hot and-- Wait, I've seen you before. You're with the Underground.
 * [Alarmed, Tess shushes Daxter before Krew can hear.]
 * Tess: Shhh! I'm Tess. Torn sent me to spy on Krew. [Daxter looks at Tess's cleavage.] Play along, and maybe I'll be able to get a few hands on a few of his secrets.
 * Daxter: Ooh! I love undercover work, baby! But, uh, two can work better than one. Let me help you out. [Daxter jumps behind the bar counter as Tess giggles.] [proceeds to drink the bar counter's liquor.] Wow! There sure are a lot of bottles back here. [gulping noises] Whew! Ooh, that's-- Ooh, that-- That goes down, uh-- Ooh, boy. Gee, ya suppose that's real gold floatin' in here? How 'bout this purple stuff? [gluging] WHEW! That's the stuff!
 * Krew: Jak, I need you and the talking rat to go around and make a few collections for me.
 * [Before he can continue, Daxter gets up from behind the counter and hiccups, looking rather drunk.]
 * Daxter: [slurring] Hey there, five chins. How's crimes?
 * Krew: What's his problem, 'ey?
 * Daxter: [slurring] Nothin'. I'm just fine. [burps] Mind your own business. [hiccups, falls onto his back, and begins droning] I sometimes feel so very...
 * Krew: Listen, I have six "clients" around town who are about to make money drops for me. I need you to collect each moneybag as fast as you can, and take care of any guards who get curious, mmmmn. Get to a moneybag too late and some townie might pick it up.
 * Daxter: Feeling so DRYYYYYY! You know what's the trouble with you, Krew? You got no vision. This place could be a real swingin' joint. Hop Heg Hiven with more dancin', more mac'n, more WOMEN! Jak knows what I'm talking about!
 * Krew: Just collect all 14 moneybags, before they disappear, and bring them back here. If you lose even one bag, then don't come back, 'ey!


 * Krew: Mmmm, quite the money collectors, 'ey? Here's a Gun Upgrade. Now get out! I need my beauty nap.
 * Daxter: Trust me, brother. There aren't enough hours in the day.


 * [Jak and Daxter are entering the blind old soothsayer Onin's hut. Daxter is amazed.]
 * Daxter: Cool! Check out the dead stuff! [Daxter pokes Pecker hanging off the wall. Pecker suddenly bites Daxter's prodding finger.] Ow!
 * Pecker: Touch the goods again, rat boy, and you'll be... [squawk] ...counting with your toes! [flies onto Onin's headbasket] I am Pecker! [Jak and Daxter silently snicker] Yes, yes, I know, my mother, she was... very vindictive. I am Onin's interpreter. [Onin springs to life just as Pecker did, and makes various hand gestures.] Onin welcomes you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, the usual boring salutations, she says it is good to see you again, Jak.
 * Jak: But we've never met before.
 * Pecker: Before, after, it is all the same.
 * Daxter: Oh! Oh! Let me try! Uh, she wants a-- She wants a yakow bone! A yakow bladder! No! No! I got it! For many moons, she has... waited for... a juice pop? A jewel shop? Oh! Oh! I know! She's got a hairball! A hair lip! A hairy chest!
 * Pecker: Close, but no! Onin says you seek answers... [squawk] ...About the Tomb of Mar. [Onin makes the seal of Mar appear]
 * Jak: So what do we need to know?
 * Pecker: She's going on and on about mystical energy channels, evil curses, stupid "Ooooooh!" crap. Forget all that! I'm gonna sum this up quickly, because now you're cutting into my siésta time. Onin wants you to recover 3 artifacts from the Precursor Mountain Temple. Not 2, Not 4, 3. Use the Warp Gate at the northwest side of the city, and bring back the three items you find.


 * [Jak and Daxter enter Onin's hut with an angry Pecker looking down at them.]
 * Pecker: Onin says what took you so long?! We had to skip lunch waiting for you two! [Onin claps her hands] Okay... okay... She really says "Thank you for saving the Life Seed". But I wouldn't say that if I were her! Give Onin the seed, and she will prepare it for Samos. [As Onin starts to prepare the Seed, Pecker stares at it with a tint of hunger in his eyes.] Mmmmmm... bird seed...
 * Daxter: Back off, feather weight!
 * Pecker: Listen tiny tail, I was leading my 100th flock south before you had fur one between your legs! Not that your fur means anything!
 * Daxter: At least I'm not some stuffed, over yappin', feather dusty mouthpiece for the world's oldest professional! [mockingly] Jak says, "Have a nice day." Jak says, "I can't think on my own." Jak says "Go bite yourself!"
 * Pecker: That's it, rat boy! Now you've REALLY pissed me off!
 * [Pecker and Daxter exchange awkward karate-esque poses.]
 * Pecker and Daxter: Hiyaaaaoooowww!
 * Jak: [off-screen] Knock it off, both of you!
 * Pecker: [to Daxter] You're lucky I'm famished!


 * Jak: Where would you be without me, eh, Dax?
 * Daxter: Well, Jak, I probably wouldn't be two feet tall, fuzzy, and running around in a sewer without a pair of pants! God, I miss pants.


 * Bruter: Lurker balloons are finest lifters in world, but they is easy targets.
 * Jak: Right. You guys get the rift rider into the nest, I'll stand here and defend your take off and getaway.
 * Daxter: Once again, being your friend sucks! I wanna go on the balloon.


 * Torn: The city's on high alert. What the Hell'd you two do?!
 * Daxter: Us? Nothing. We've been, um, sightseeing. Right, Jak?
 * Torn: Really? Then, why are the Krimzon Guard lookin' for "A dangerous young man with light hair, blue tunic, and a rabid orange rat on his shoulder"?
 * Daxter: Uh, could be anyone. Orange is the new black this season.
 * Jak: Look, we climbed up to the Baron's palace, and, we tripped a few alarms.
 * Daxter: Oh, right. That, too.
 * Torn: [angrily] What?! I didn't authorize a strike on the--
 * Jak: Hey. We kicked the Baron's ass. Unfortunately, he escaped.
 * Daxter: And we overheard a secret meeting with the leader of the Metal Heads!
 * Kor: You saw the Metal Head leader?
 * Jak: No. He was on some communicator. But we heard him talking with Baron Praxis.
 * Daxter: The Baron is bribing the Metal Heads with eco!
 * Kor: Hmm! It will never be enough.
 * Daxter: But the Baron's gonna double cross 'em!
 * Kor: Is that so? Well, our "good" Baron's "wonderful charm" must have angered someone, because there's word from the Wasteland that Metal Head armies are on the move again!
 * Jak: Why didn't you tell me Ashelin was Praxis' daughter?! What's your connection with her?!
 * Torn: That's none of your business! Since you've stirred up the wumpbee's nest, you and whiskers here get to move four of our people to new safe houses. Shuttle each agent to a location they specify. Move all of them without any casualties. Don't screw this up, Jak.


 * Keira: Erol's the best racer I've ever seen.
 * Jak: He's not what you think.
 * Keira: And you're a good judge of character? Ha! Look at you. People say you get angry and...change. Besides, the Jak I knew wouldn't be working for a guy like Krew.
 * Jak: I need Krew's connections to fight the Baron. Without my... You know what? Do it your way, and I'll do it mine. Just don't come crying to me when the walls fall down!


 * Jak: I still can't believe that little boy was me. Better times, huh?
 * Keira: You miss him, huh? You know, the kid grows up to be a handsome hero.
 * [they're about to kiss]
 * Daxter: Hey! [Kiera and Jak glance at Daxter, who is actually talking to a drunk Onin] That's enough for you lady! I'm cuttin' you off!
 * [Onin zaps him]
 * Pecker: Trust me, she gets real mean when she's like this!
 * [Onin makes hand gestures]
 * Daxter: What'd she say?
 * Pecker: Something about rubber tubing and certain parts of your mother. You don't wanna know.


 * Sig: You know, my momma used to read me bedtime stories about Mar when she'd tuck me in. She'd give me a nice glass of warm yakow milk... and my little Poopsy bear.
 * Daxter: Bedtime stories, warm milk, poopsy bear?! Buddy, ya just blew yer image!

Cast

 * Mike Erwin as Jak
 * Max Casella as Daxter
 * Clancy Brown as Baron Praxis
 * Sherman Howard as Kor
 * Bill Minken as Krew
 * Phil LaMarr as Sig
 * Susan Eisenberg as Ashelin Praxis
 * Cutter Mitchell as Torn
 * Britton A. Arey as Tess
 * Robert Patrick Benedict as Vin
 * Chris Cox as Pecker
 * Warren Burton as Samos
 * Anna Garduno as Kiera
 * David Herman as Erol