Jeepers Creepers (film)

Jeepers Creepers is a 2001 film about a brother and sister who are harassed by a human-eating creature while coming home on spring break.
 * Written and directed by Victor Salva

WhAT's EATing you?

Darry Jenner

 * Get a load of that nasty old thing. What is that, the vehicle choice of assholes and fucking serial killers?
 * I'm so scared Trish.
 * This guy must have 500, maybe 600 bodies down there, and I've seen 'um! Stuck up on the walls like some psycho version of the Sistine Chapel!
 * ...Trish...I think we found our body...
 * She did lose her head, Darla lost her head, just like they said. And you know what he did, Trish? You know what he did for her? H-He sewed it back on. He sewed it right back on...!

Trish Jenner

 * [to Darry] You look like you just crawled out of a sewer.
 * The point of having a portable phone you idiot, is that it works when you need it!
 * You know the part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid, and everybody hates him for it? This is it.

The Cat Lady

 * That's not my scarecrow.
 * What the hell did you bring into my house?
 * ...You kids got anyone else with you?...

Jezelle Hartman

 * [to Trish and Darry] You've got something it likes... one of you.
 * It dresses like a man, but only to hide that it's not.
 * It eats lungs so it can breath, it eats eyes so it can see. Whatever it eats...becomes a part of it.
 * I don't know if its a demon or a devil...or just some hungry thing from some dark place in time...I just know that it's not gonna stop coming after you, or anyone else it wants to. Once it has the scent of something it likes...It can't, it can't stop.
 * When you hear that song you run, and I mean run! 'Cause that song means something terrible for you, something so terrible you couldn't dream of it...not in your worst most terrible nightmare!
 * I think Its eaten too many hearts for Its own to ever stop...
 * It needs to scare you. There's something in fear, something it can smell. Something that tells it if there's anything inside someone that it might...like.
 * Every 23rd Spring for 23 days it gets to...eat...
 * Have you seen the cats yet?
 * [to Sergeant Tubbs] You've got missing persons and a fire in the next county, go do something useful!
 * You don't understand...

Other

 * Officer: We have a blackout. That means emergency head count. Hey, lower bunk, let me see some skin. [inmate gives him the middle finger] That is special, I love you too.
 * Dying Boy: ...H-h-h-ide...
 * The Creeper: [in a deleted scene, referring to The Cat Lady] She don't smell too good...Darius!
 * Officer: [The Creepers shows it's wing-like mandibles and skin flaps and screeches] What in the holy mammal?

Dialogue

 * Trish: [after being attacked] What the hell was that guy's problem?
 * Darry: For my 1st guess, INBREEDING‼


 * Darry: [after being run off the road by the creeper] Sounds alright. What?
 * Trish: Like either of us would know.
 * Darry: I know a little.
 * Trish: A car makes a strange noise you just get new tape, Darry. You told me.
 * Darry: I told you? I learned it from you.
 * Trish: Jesus Christ.
 * Darry: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait…Wait, I’m thinking past the point of my own selfish little existence now, okay?  We’re both pretty damn sure what we saw him dump down that pipe, right?
 * Trish: Yeah.
 * Darry: What if it's someone still alive?
 * Trish: What if it was?
 * Darry: Someone who needs help!
 * Trish: We can get help just as fast by getting to a phone.
 * Darry: Do you have any idea how far we are from the nearest pay phone?
 * Trish: We were just attacked Darry!
 * Darry: And you don't even want to find out why? We look in the pipe, that's it.
 * Trish: Is this your idea of a little adventure or something? This is why girls are smarter, okay.
 * Darry: We look in the pipe; and if there's nothing there, nothing we can do we just drive on home and we call the cops. And you know that's what we should do?
 * Trish: Bullshit I do.
 * Darry: Bullshit you don't! Look me in the eye and tell me you can just drive away. Just drive off, leave whoever's back there, back there. Maybe find out later, they'd still be alive if you had just gone back.
 * Trish: Don't try and make this about the right thing to do. You just want to go back there and see if there's something nasty at the end of that pipe.
 * Darry: Okay, okay. What if it was you back there?
 * Trish: I am not getting out of this car!
 * Darry: You don't have to.
 * Trish: I am not!


 * Waitress: Hey! That’s your car out by the pumps it’d it?  Bunch of folks saw him from the window.  That man at your car.  He was standing by your car, sniffin’ that laundry; holdin’ big handfuls of it under his nose.  Looked like he was likin’ it too.
 * Darry: Still think I bumped by head? Now this guy is after us!  He’s after us because he knows what we saw.  And now he even knows my name!


 * Trish: [as Darry speeds up behind a camper] Come on, Darry.
 * Darry: [trying to read the license plate that says 6A4EVR] ..."Gay-Gay Fever"--no, "Gay Forever." "Gay Forever," that's mine. That's three for little bro'.
 * Trish: That's a six, not a G, you idiot. That's "Sexy Forever." That's mine. That's five to two.
 * Darry: Shit.
 * Trish: "Gay Fever?"
 * Darry: [as they speed up next to the camper and see an old couple] Woah...Sexy Forever, huh?
 * Trish: You know that is you in forty years.


 * Darry: There's usually a reason why you like the long way home.
 * Trish: Gee, like, maybe I like the country?
 * Darry: Mmmm, okay.
 * Trish: Just drive, brat.
 * Darry: Hey, I'm only thinking the same thing mom and dad are going to be thinking. "Trisha, Trisha why are you driving home for spring break with your brat brother, and not heading off somewhere with that nice 'Mr. Poli-Sci-Track-Team-Guy'?"
 * Trish: Ugh, I will tell them the same thing I'll tell you: None of your goddamn business.


 * Darry: [After Trish turns off the radio] You wanted the back way home. That's 10 hours of preachers, farm reports, and country music.
 * Trish: Could you possibly just shut up and drive, please?
 * Darry: "You broke my heart in two. Now I can't find the...Duct tape to put it together for you." Come on, girl, sing along now. "When I met you, I thought I would die. I wanted to cry. Didn't know you were evil, or that you would hurt me...'Mr. Poli-Sci-Track-Team-Guy'. Turns out you're a twit and a real--" [The Creeper's truck comes up behind them, horns blaring] Jesus‼


 * Darry: [about his cellphone] Don't worry I have a power cord for that.
 * Trish: Yeah, and I have a cigarette lighter, THAT DOESN'T WORK!


 * Darry: We have to get out of here.
 * Trish: No, let's stay and feed the birds.


 * [after running over the Creeper]
 * Darry: Is he dead?
 * Trish: They never are.


 * Trish: [looking back at the road] That was a stop sign.
 * Darry: You're kidding, right?
 * Trish: In your car, I'd be kidding.
 * Darry: On this road? I haven't seen a car in fifty miles.


 * Darry: He dumped something down that pipe.
 * Trish: Wrapped in a sheet.
 * Darry: Wrapped in rope and a sheet.
 * Trish: Wrapped in rope and a sheet with red stains on it... just get us out of here!


 * [Trish and Darry pull up at the Cat Lady's house] 
 * Darry: Come on, Trish, look at this place. Let's just keep going. I mean it, come on.
 * Trish: You don't wanna get help?
 * Darry: Help from who?
 * Trish: Let's just use the phone.
 * Darry: And call who?
 * Trish: I don't know.
 * Darry: And tell them what?
 * Trish: I don't know!
 * Darry: "Hey, bum-fuck police, I'm being chased by a guy who likes to pull tongues out of severed heads with his teeth. Is there a special extension for that?"


 * The Cat Lady: You got ten seconds to get your ass out of my yard, and don't think I'm gonna tell ya twice!
 * Trish: Get the hell away from him.
 * Darry: What are you doing, Trish?
 * Trish: Get the hell away from him!


 * Trish: Christ, do you think they even have a phone?
 * Darry: I'm guessing no phones and a lot of guns.

Taglines

 * WhAT's EATing you?
 * Evil is right behind you
 * A nightmare cloaked in rags.
 * The Tastiest Horror Film of the Year!
 * Get a Taste of the Year's Best Horror Film!
 * You Are NOT What You Eat...
 * He's watching... He's waiting... He's hungry...
 * Things are gonna get creepy...

Cast

 * Gina Philips as Trish Jenner
 * Justin Long as Darry Jenner
 * Jonathan Breck as The Creeper
 * Patricia Belcher as Jezelle Hartman
 * Eileen Brennan as The Cat Lady