Joe Bob Briggs

Joe Bob Briggs (born 27 January 1953) is the pseudonym of John Irving Bloom, a syndicated film critic, writer and actor.

Quotes

 * The man is ugly, the man is evil, and the man is in love. This is gonna be an American classic.
 * Darkman review


 * I made the mistake of watching "A.I." on cable the week they showed it about 792 times, and I ended up watching it every time it was on.
 * A.I. review


 * Speaking of things that'll make your head explode, "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" finally made it to the drive-in
 * Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story review


 * The fifties were when people started coming down on "juvenile delinquents," "hoodlums," "vandals"--anybody that was young, wore a motorcycle jacket, and didn't act polite around older people.
 * I Was a Teenage Werewolf review


 * "I think we should take money from everyone," I told her, "regardless of their ability to pay. After all, this is America."
 * La Femme Nikita review


 * Menahem Golan, the Israeli king of the ninja flick, announced he was producing the remake.
 * Night of the Living Dead (1990 remake) review

Repeated phrases

 * Eleven dead bodies. One dead cat. No breasts.
 * This line is from a review of Candyman II: Farewell To The Flesh
 * Similar "summary" lines feature in many of the reviews.


 * If you know what I mean, and I think you do.
 * Since Joe-Bob was unallowed to swear or make sexual remarks (beyond a point) in the newspaper, anything regarding sex he was unallowed to say was said with a euphemism, such as "Making the sign of the four-legged spouting walrus," followed by this.
 * Example: Swamp Thing Review


 * Joe Bob says check it out.
 * Used as the final sentence in all reviews except the very earliest.
 * Example: Ice Pirates Review