Joe Somebody

Joe Somebody is a 2001 American comedy-drama film written by John Scott Shepherd and directed by John Pasquin. The film stars Tim Allen as a man stirred into action by a workplace bully. The film also stars Julie Bowen, Kelly Lynch, Greg Germann, Hayden Panettiere, Patrick Warburton and Jim Belushi. A Comedy About Somebody Everybody Can Believe In.taglines

Dialogue

 * [after getting hit by trainer]
 * Joe: Did people ever come back here?


 * Meg: You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
 * Joe: It sounds pretty self-explanatory.


 * Joe: You talking to me?


 * Joe: Did you have fun?
 * Natalie: Weekend from hell. They took me to another silly-ass hippie restaurant.
 * Natalie: With thee most absurd one-man play ever produced!
 * Joe: "Silly-ass"?
 * Natalie: Dad...


 * Natalie: [on the phone with Joe] Dad, just tell me something. Is it you don't want to see me? Or is it you don't want me to see you?
 * Joe: Yes... Yes to the second one.
 * Natalie: [crying] DAD, just please let me come over. Just for a little while...
 * Joe: It's okay. Everything's all right. I'm just sitting here drowning my sorrows in a - a quart of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.


 * Chuck: Too bad. I was really hoping to give a shit.


 * Joe: Can you show me some of that Crouching Dragon, Hidden Tiger stuff?


 * Natalie: Everything on the menu was made with curd. Curd this, curd that. I MEAN, I ordered a hamburger and I got a 10-minute lecture on animal rights from the waitress. AND the guy in the play was half-naked!
 * Joe: WHAT? Which half?


 * Joe: You became a farmer?
 * Rick: No, Joe. I'm an actor dressed as a farmer... for an audition.
 * Joe: Sorry.


 * Callie: We had a great weekend. Did she tell you about the play?
 * Joe: Yeah. The actors were naked.
 * Natalie: So were the ushers.
 * Callie: They were not!
 * Joe: Callie, Beauty and the Beast is in town. What's the matter with that?


 * Natalie: [gets out of the car after Joe gets punched by Mark] LEAVE HIM ALONE, DIRTBAG!
 * Joe: Don't call anybody a dirtbag.
 * Natalie: Daddy, are you okay? You're bleeding.
 * Joe: I'm good. I just tripped! I'm okay. Let's go...


 * Natalie: Why do I have to spend weekends with them? Can't we just drive by every Saturday and wave?
 * Joe: Your mom's a little eccentric. Think of her as an exotic flower.
 * Natalie: And that made you what? Dirt?
 * Joe: NAT, she's your mom.


 * Natalie: HEY, that guy is an ass-wipe!
 * Joe: NATALIE...
 * Natalie: Sorry, I meant "ass-guy".


 * Joe: That's Mark McKinney! He's a 7-year employee. W-what's he doing in the 10-year lot?
 * Natalie: Maybe he's going to stand around for another 3 years.

Taglines

 * A Comedy About Somebody Everybody Can Believe In.
 * someone just picked on the wrong nobody.
 * Knockout fun for the whole family!

Cast

 * Tim Allen - Joe Scheffer
 * Julie Bowen - Meg Harper
 * Kelly Lynch - Callie Scheffer
 * Greg Germann - Jeremy
 * Hayden Panettiere - Natalie Scheffer
 * Patrick Warburton - Mark McKinney
 * Jim Belushi - Chuck Scarett
 * Ken Marino - Rick Raglow
 * Wolfgang Bodison - Cade Raymond
 * Cristi Conaway - Abby Manheim
 * Robert Joy - Pat Chilcutt
 * Tina Lifford - Cassandra Taylor