Joyce Brothers

Dr. Joyce Brothers (born 20 September 1927 - 13 May 2013) was a family psychologist, author, and advice columnist; born Joyce Diane Bauer.

Quotes

 * Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three meals a day, sharing the workload and remembering to carry out the trash.
 * "When Your Husband's Affection Cools" in Good Housekeeping (May 1972)


 * Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.
 * "When Your Husband's Affection Cools" in Good Housekeeping (May 1972)


 * I don’t give advice. I can’t tell anybody what to do. Instead I say this is what we know about this problem at this time. And here are the consequences of these actions.
 * American Way (1979)


 * Don’t fool yourself that you are going to have it all. You are not. Psychologically, having it all is not even a valid concept. The marvelous thing about human beings is that we are perpetually reaching for the stars. The more we have, the more we want. And for this reason, we never have it all.
 * The Successful Woman : How You Can Have a Career, a Husband, and a Family — and Not Feel Guilty About It (1988), p. 18


 * Trust your hunches... Hunches are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. Warning! Do not confuse your hunches with wishful thinking. This is the road to disaster.
 * As quoted in Words of Wisdom : More Good Advice (1990) edited by William Safire and Leonard Safir, p. 199
 * Variant: Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. Trust your hunches. Hunches are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. But be warned, don't confuse hunches with wishful thinking.


 * In each of us are places where we have never gone. Only by pressing the limits do you ever find them.
 * As quoted in Say It Right : A Guide To Effective Oral Business Presentations (1994) by Garth A. Hanson, Kaye T. Hanson and Ted D. Stoddard


 * When you look at your life the greatest happinesses are family happinesses.
 * As quoted in Three Hundred and Twenty-Five Prompts for Personal Journals (1995) by James A. Senn, p. 44


 * When you come right down to it, the secret of having it all is loving it all.
 * As quoted in Anything Is Possible: Humor and Wisdom for Success and Prosperity (1997) by Meiji Stewart, p. 73


 * No matter how much pressure you feel at work, if you could find ways to relax for at least five minutes every hour, you'd be more productive.
 * As quoted in Succeeding Sane : Making Room for Joy in a Crazy World (1998) by Bonnie St. John Deane, p. 122


 * We control fifty percent of a relationship. We influence one hundred percent of it.
 * As quoted in Letting Go of Debt : Growing Richer One Day at a Time (2000) by Karen Casanova, p. 17


 * If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.
 * As quoted in The Shakespeare Book of Lists : The Ultimate Guide to the Bard, His Plays, and How They'Ve Been Interpreted (And Misinterpreted) Through the Ages (2001) by Michael Lomonico


 * The best proof of love is trust.
 * As quoted in ''Chicken Soup for the Gardener's Soul : 101 Stories to Sow Seeds of Love, Hope and Laughter' (2001) by Jack Canfield, p. 25


 * Before your dreams can come true, you have to have those dreams.
 * As quoted in Bursting at the Seams : A Wealth of Wit and Wisdom by, for, and about Women (2004) edited by Killy John and Alie Stibbe


 * Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.
 * As quoted in Courage: The Choice That Makes the Difference (2004) by Dwight GoldWinde, p. 93


 * Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you've become a comfortable, trusted element in another person's life.
 * As quoted in On Being Blonde: Wit and Wisdom from the World's Most Infamous Blondes (2004) by Paula Munier, p. 69


 * Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift... The hangover comes the day after.
 * As quoted in On Being Blonde: Wit and Wisdom from the World's Most Infamous Blondes (2004) by Paula Munier, p. 69


 * No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.
 * As quoted in On Being Blonde: Wit and Wisdom from the World's Most Infamous Blondes (2004) by Paula Munier, p. 70


 * The world at large does not judge us by who we are and what we know; it judges us by what we have.
 * As quoted in On Being Blonde: Wit and Wisdom from the World's Most Infamous Blondes (2004) by Paula Munier, p. 70


 * Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.
 * As quoted in The Pocket Philosopher/ Psychologist (2004) by Mark J. Merten, p. 87


 * The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top.
 * As quoted in Business Class : Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work (2005) by Jacqueline Whitmore, p. 25


 * An individual's self-concept is the core of his personality. It affects every aspect of human behavior: the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change. A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life.
 * As quoted in Wisdom for the Soul: Five Millennia of Prescriptions for Spiritual Healing (2006) by Larry Chang, p. 43


 * Those who have easy, cheerful attitudes tend to be happier than those with less pleasant temperaments, regardless of money, "making it", or success.
 * As quoted in Wisdom for the Soul: Five Millennia of Prescriptions for Spiritual Healing (2006) by Larry Chang, p. 71


 * Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can — and surely will at times — fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or risking love, can be terrifying, too. I think we should follow a simple rule: if we can take the worst, take the risk.
 * As quoted in Wisdom for the Soul: Five Millennia of Prescriptions for Spiritual Healing (2006) by Larry Chang, p. 415


 * Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.
 * As quoted in Wisdom for the Soul: Five Millennia of Prescriptions for Spiritual Healing (2006) by Larry Chang, p. 469


 * If your energy is as boundless as your ambition, total commitment may be a way of life you should seriously consider.
 * As quoted in It's All About You: Live the Life You Crave (2007) by Mary Goulet and Heather Reider

10 Keys to a Strong Family (2002)

 * Full text online


 * "Our family comes first" Strong families support each other's dreams; they sacrifice to show support. A friend turned down a company trip to the Bahamas so he could attend his son's championship soccer game. "the beach will always be there," he said, "but my son won't always be 14 and team captain." this "family first" attitude begins with a bond of loyalty between marital partners. But single-parent families (28% of all families with children, according to the latest census) can be just as successful in raising strong children if they develop a "family first" attitude.


 * Strong families use the word "we" a lot, but "I" is never forgotten. Family members know they have the freedom to go off on their own, even if the direction is one that "we" have never followed before. The family message is, "We're behind you, so you can be you."


 * While parents are naturally in a leadership role, strong families strive to share decision-making. They resolve differences by respecting other viewpoints and accepting compromise solutions. One family decided to spend money on a son's music lessons rather than replace worn carpeting. The compromise was to pitch in and clean the carpet. In another family, everyone but the youngest daughter loved to ski. They rented a vacation condo with plenty of activities for the daughter, and the skiers accepted an hour's drive to the slopes.


 * In strong families, positive strokes out-number negative broadsides by a wide margin. Members regularly express appreciation: "Thanks for fixing the drainpipe." "You look so nice in that dress." "The dinner was great." Criticism is offered gently. After all, strong families figure, if we can be kind to strangers, why not to one another?


 * "We treat each other well" In strong families, positive strokes outnumber negative broadsides by a wide margin. Members regularly express appreciation: "Thanks for fixing the drainpipe." "you look so nice in that dress." "The dinner was great" Criticism is offered gently. After all, strong families figure, if we can be kind to strangers, why not to one another.


 * Strong families value their extended family, particularly grandparents. In one study of college students, a majority thought their interactions with grandparents reflected high family strengths. It’s important to create continuity between generations, passing along traditions and making roots ever stronger, so the tree continues to reach for the sun.


 * Religious belief, trust, a sense of connection to the universe — no matter what you call it, there is a spiritual component to strong families. They see their lives as imbued with purpose, reflected in the things they do for one another and the community. Small problems provide a chance to grow; large ones are a lesson in courage. A mother whose son died of a brain tumor bravely returned to the hospital where he had died in order to set up a research fund. When she saw the parents of children who currently were suffering, she told her son’s doctor: "If any research you do produces any advance, my son’s passing won’t have been totally without purpose." It takes a certain type of spiritual grace to see beyond one’s own misery to the needs of others. Strong families try to live so they can look outward — and inward — every single day.


 * Maybe Listening, not imitating, is the sincerest form of flattery.
 * -- Joyce Brothers