Kate & Allie

Kate & Allie was a 1980s situation comedy about two best friends (played by Susan Saint James and Jane Curtin) who moved in together after their respective divorces.

Opening credits banter

 * Soft piano music. Kate and Allie walk down a street.


 * Kate: You know who lives in that building? Greta Garbo.
 * Allie: There...right there, like a normal person?
 * Kate: Uh-huh.
 * Allie: What do you suppose she's doing right now?
 * Kate: Probably watching TV. Let's go. *Kate starts to walk off*
 * Allie: No! Don't you want to...wait and see if she comes out?
 * Kate: Allie, she "wants to be alone."
 * Allie: Oh, come on, just a minute!
 * Kate: Okay, okay. But this is ridiculous!
 * Allie: *sees a shadow from the window* Oh my God! It's her!
 * Kate: How can you tell?
 * Allie: I know it's her! It's she!
 * Kate: That could be anybody.
 * Allie: *to herself* I saw...Greta Garbo!
 * Kate: You saw...a woman in a hat! It could have been Bella Abzug!
 * Allie: Are you trying to spoil what could possibly be the high point of my life?
 * Kate: *sigh* Okay, okay, we saw Greta Garbo.
 * Allie: Do you really think it was her?


 * Kate and Allie walk down the street; the soft piano music starts up again, final few notes.


 * Soft piano music. Kate and Allie walk past a flower shop.


 * Kate: You'll never guess who I ran into today.
 * Allie: Who?
 * Kate: Brenda Maizel.
 * Allie: Lumpy! Oh, I haven't seen Lumpy since graduation! Poor, sweet old Lumpy.
 * Kate: Yeah.
 * Allie: Braces, glasses and allergies. Remember that sneeze?
 * Kate: That's how I recognized her. I was standing on the corner in front of Saks and I heard someone choking a turkey. I turned around and there she was.
 * Allie: Still a mess? *sniffs some flowers*
 * Kate: Well, as messy as you can be in mink.
 * Allie: *looks up* Oh?
 * Kate: Well, she married an investment broker.
 * Allie: Well, good for her. They're safe and predictable.
 * Kate: He also skydives, he's a published poet, and his name is Thor.
 * Allie: She still have those stubby little fingers?
 * Kate: I couldn't tell with all the diamonds.
 * Allie: I never liked her.
 * Kate: Me neither.


 * Allie puts the flowers down and they both walk away; the soft piano music starts up again, final few notes.