Kenan & Kel

Kenan & Kel is an American teen comedy black sitcom created by Kim Bass for Nickelodeon. It starred then-All That cast members Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell. 62 episodes and a made-for-TV movie were produced over four seasons.

Pilot [1.1]

 * Chris: Kenan, this is coming out of your paycheck! Now, clean up these puffs, pronto! [to Kel] Kel, you're fired!
 * Kel: I don't work here.
 * Chris: Well, see to it that you don't.

The Tainting Of The Screw [1.2]

 * Kel: I... DROPPED THE SCREW.... IN THE TUNA!

Doing Things the Hemingway [1.3]

 * Kel: [as he hangs by a ladder from a helicopter, after his pants and underpants have accidentally been ripped off] It's cold up here!

Mental Kel-Epathy [1.4]

 * Kel: I'm not psychic, I can't predict the future, I'm still confused about the past!

Duh Bomb [1.5]

 * Chris: Hey! Hey! What happened to my store? Why are people waving Orange soda in the air as if they just don't care?
 * Guy with Piercings: Hey, three bucks to get in, Dude!
 * Chris: Listen, this MY store! And take those pins out of your head!

Mo' Sweater Blues [1.6]

 * Roger: Kenan...
 * Kenan: Pop...
 * Roger: What in the world is going on here? And what is Kyra doing here?
 * Sheryl: And boy where in the world are your pants?


 * Kenan: Tell your Grandmama I'm sorry!
 * [Kel taps Kenan's shoulder]
 * Kenan: What?
 * Kel: Her Grandmama's dead!
 * Kenan and Kel: Oh, man!

Diamonds Are for Roger [1.7]

 * Kenan: Hey, man, what'd you do?
 * Kel: I closed the door.
 * Kenan: WHY?!!!

The Cold War [1.8]

 * Roger: [notices a pilot has parachuted out of a plane thanks to Kenan and Kel's Intervention] He jumped out? Why? Where'd the plane go?
 * Kenan and Kel: Nebraska!

Dial 'O' for Oops [1.10]

 * Kenan: I'm gonna ask Amy out. That's all there is to it.
 * Kel: But Kenan, your dad said...
 * Kenan: Kel! My father's married. He doesn't understand what it means to love a woman.

Baggin' Saggin' Kel [1.12]

 * Kel: "Help! Can anybody hear me? I'm trapped down here with a can of tuna fish! Kenan!"
 * Kenan: "What'cha doing in the bag, Kel?"
 * Chris: "You're letting us down, Kel. Rigby's is going to lose and it's gonna be all your fault!"
 * Kenan: "Kel! You're not supposed to put yourself in the bag, kooky!"
 * Kel: "I think I'm dreaming or something."
 * ???: "Kel! Kel!"
 * Kel: "Who are you?!"
 * Bottle of Orange Soda: "I'm Orange Soda! And you'll never drink me again!"
 * Kel: "AAHH! NO!"
 * Angus: "Hi Kel, it's Angus. You can't even win this contest in your dreams! *laughs evily* LOSER! LOSER! KEL'S A LOSER!"


 * Kel: "I can handle this myself!"
 * Kenan: "You can't even handle cartoons by yourself!"


 * Chris: "Wait a minute! Are you trying to tell me that we beat Angus through trickery and deceit?!"
 * Kenan and Kel: "Yeah...we're sorry...I guess...I'm terribly sorry..."
 * Chris: "...I LOVE YOU GUYS!"

Safe and Sorry [1.13]

 * Kenan: Come on, man. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't go check out that safe.
 * Kel: That safe doesn't belong to us.
 * Kenan: So? Finders keepers.
 * Kel: Losers dead!


 * Kenan: Would you quit blubbering?
 * Kel: I need to blubber.

Pair-Rental Guidance [2.1]

 * Roger: [after Kenan's scheme for his fake parents to meet his principal backfires] Who are all of you?
 * William Buckman III: Er, uh... we're the Rockmores!
 * Sheryl: *We're* The Rockmores.
 * Principal Dimly: I'm confused.
 * Kel Kimble: I'm outta here. [tries to run but is grabbed by Roger] Uh!
 * Kenan: [starts to cry] I'm in trouble. [hides behind door]

Clowning Around [2.2]

 * Kenan and Kel: [Both are tied up on the shop floor, crying] We've been robbed by a Clown!

Who Loves Orange Soda? [2.4]

 * Kenan: [speaking to Kel] Oh, man. Your insides were more orange than a Nickelodeon logo!

Haven't Got Time for the Paint [2.5]

 * Kel: [shows a painting of a beautiful sunset on a beach] Hey, Chris. Check it out.
 * Chris: Wow! That's terrif. Who's the artist?
 * Kel: Me. [chuckles]
 * Chris: You!
 * Kel: Yeah. I painted it in art class.
 * Chris: Wow. I'm impressed. I always thought you were talentless.
 * Kel: Man, thanks!
 * [Chris gives Kel a high five]

Ditch Day Afternoon [2.7]

 * Kel: Aww man, I knew we shoulda gone to school.


 * Chris: What's with all the hullabaloo?
 * Kenan and Kel: [look at each other, and then raise their arm confused] Hullabaloo?
 * Chris: You know what I mean.

Get the Kel Outta Here [2.8]

 * Kenan: [on Kyra's sculpture] What are they teaching you? Nasty freak monsters?
 * Kyra: This head happens to look exactly like Kel.
 * Kenan: Like I said, what are they teaching you? Nasty freak monsters?
 * [Kenan, Kel, and Sheryl laugh]
 * Kel: [stops laughing] Hey, wait a minute!

Foul Bull [2.9]

 * Kenan: [sees news article on Chicago blaming them for Ron Harper's injury] Oh no!
 * Kel: Aw man!
 * Kenan: Kel, look!
 * Kel: I know, man. the Pope has canceled his trip to Acapulco!

The Crush [2.10]

 * Kel: [to Kenan] When you have kids, can they call me Uncle Kel Kel? "Hey, Uncle Kel Kel! We love you, Uncle Kel Kel! Do that funky dance, Uncle Kel Kel!"

Turkey Day [2.11]

 * Kyra: [Kenan is setting up Thanksgiving dinner] Hey Kenan, whatha you doing?
 * Kenan: What's it look like I'm doing? I'm setting the table.
 * Kyra: Yeah, setting it wrong.

Fenced In [3.1]

 * Chris: Kel, could you please toss me the duster? [Kel looks around and sees a can of peas, picks it up, and throws it at Chris] Ow! Ah! What'd you do that for?!
 * Kel: Well you told me to throw a can of peas at you.
 * Chris: I asked you to toss me the duster!
 * Kel: Oh, I'm sorry. It sounded like you said throw a can of peas at you.
 * Chris: Why would I ask you to throw a can of peas at me?
 * Kel: I don't know. I thought it seemed kind of strange.
 * Chris: You seem kind of strange!

Skunkator vs. Mothman [3.2]

 * Kenan: [after He and Kel return from the comic book convention, having left Sharla to fend herself] Hey Sharla, I'm ba... What happened?
 * Kel: Well, Obviously the register broke, the ice machine overflowed and the hot dogs caught on fire.
 * Kenan: Duh.

The Raffle [3.3]

 * Kenan: [after buying an inexpensive television] Man! Why'd you have to break the video camera? No, no, better yet, why'd you lose the winnin' raffle ticket? No, no! Why'd you have to break Chris' TV?!
 * Kel: It was an accident. It was an accident. [pulls out a popped balloon] I had to get my balloon back.
 * Kenan: Oh, man. I'm-- I'm dead. Oh, I'm dead. I'm de-dead.
 * Kel: (singing) DEAD, DEAD, KENAN, KENAN, DEAD, DEAD, KENAN, KENAN, DEAD, DEAD, KENAN, KENAAAAAAAN!
 * Kenan: STOP IT!
 * Kel: I'm sorry, I can't get that tune out of my head.

The Chicago Witch Trials [3.4]

 * Becky: The Salem Witch Trials were held in Salem, Massachusetts in the year 1692.
 * Teacher: Very good!
 * Becky: Twenty people were falsely accused of being witches. With little or no evidence they were put to death.
 * Marc: Well, maybe they were witches.
 * Kenan: Oh come on! Everybody knows that there's no such thing as witches.
 * Becky: That's not true. There are witches, there are a *lot* of witches.
 * Teacher: Well it is true that people actually still practice witchcraft.
 * Becky: That's right, but that doesn't make them evil monsters. Most of the people who practice witchcraft are normal like you, or you, or me!
 * Kenan: Ah! Normal people, like you! [his chair breaks]

To Catch a Thief [3.5]

 * Kel: Maybe a ninja stole your watch! He broke into your room all like, "I'm a ninja! I'm a ninja!"
 * Chris: Now Kenan, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions
 * Chris: THIEF!
 * Kenan: WHYYYYYYYY???
 * Marc Cram: I am so A-N-G-R-Y!
 * Kel: Your hungry?
 * All: ANGRY!
 * Mrs. Cram: You people are the worst neighbors in the entire world

I.Q. Can Do Better [3.7]

 * Kel: My brain is so powerful. I bet I can break this desk with it! [hits head on desk]

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

 * Kel: You're out of orange soda.
 * Kenan: That's impossible, we just put some in the refrigerator.
 * Kel: Yeah, and you're out of refrigerators too.


 * Officer McWiggins: [Seeing Kel passed out on the floor] What's wrong with him?
 * Kenan: A lot of things. Basically, he just passed out when he found out we were robbed.

Housesitter [3.13]

 * Chris: (gasps) What the
 * Chris: KENAN!!!!

Picture Imperfect [3.17]

 * Marc Cram: You just destroyed the M-Z.
 * Kenan: WHYYYYYYYY???

The Honeymoon's Over [4.2]

 * Kel: [after Sheryl kicks him out of the living room] Fine! I don't wanna be in your stupid old book club, anyhow! Oh, and by the way; I found Petals of Sorrow to be amateurish, The Exposition was tedious, and the characters were one-dimensional! Heard what I said?! One-dimensional!

Oh, Brother [4.10]

 * Kel: You just lost a customer bub, I'm never taking any free stuff from this store again!


 * Kenan: All we have to do is make it seem that Chris' life is interesting. Give me the phone.
 * Kel: Oh I see where your going with this. When Chris' brother sees him with this phone he will be so impressed!

Ending Random Items Gag

 * At the end of every episode, a discussion following this template takes place: 
 * Kenan: Kel, grab (At this point, Kenan lists several items, usually with no logical relation, such as a cow, a sandbag, a television and a pound of butter) and meet me at the (Kenan names a random location). Now come on, (some weird nickname e.g. Skippy!)
 * Kel: But where do I find those things? (Kel then makes several complaints regarding the items). KE-KENAN!! Awww, here it goes!


 * Kenan: All we need is some raccoon juice.


 * Kenan: Kel, get a bucket of glue and meet me at the church. Let's go on to the church.
 * Kel: Kenan! No, no! You're gonna get people all sticky. Kenan, thou shalt not glue! K-Kenan? Aw, here it goes!


 * Grab some Peanut Butter and some snow shoes and meet me down at the bus stop.


 * Get me some bread, some sticks, and some bread sticks.


 * A waffle iron, and an octopus, and meet me at the library.


 * A jump rope, a walrus and one of those round sticky things and meet me where I'm going. Come on, Stuffy!


 * A spicerack, a spice girl and a spicy burrit-tut-o and meet me at the ice rink. Come on, Froggy!


 * A pony, a petunia and a big ball of twine and meet me at the dairy farm.


 * I'm gonna need you to grab 900 hard boiled eggs, a slingshot, and a chainsaw, and meet me on the roof. Come on, Tiddilywink....child!

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 * Something, something else, and a third thing, and meet me there. Come on, Nickname!

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 * Cheddar cheese, swiss cheese and macaroni and cheese and meet me in the audience.

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 * A tarantula, a drum set and a mannequin and meet me at Bill's house.

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 * A seal, some Aveel, and Shaquille O'Neal, and meet me down at the Ferris Wheel. To be real!

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 * A handkerchief, 12 lbs. of ice and a knockwurst and meet me at the blood bank.

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 * A pound of butter and meet me in Mt. Fuji. Now come on, Hiroshima!

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 * Some cheerleaders, some cheerleaders, and some cheerleaders, and me at the pool. Come on, Shifty! Cheerleaders and the poo-- never mind.
 * Kenan! I don't wanna go swimming with any cheerleaders! Wait wait wait wait wait a minute. [thinks, smiles] Yes, I do. I wanna go swimming with some cheerleaders. Hey, man, don't leave without me! Here I come! AWW! HERE IT GOES!

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 * Some porridge, a surfboard, and some box springs, and meet me at the secret hideaway. Now come on, Punchy!

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 * A tortilla, some beans and a pound full of Guacamole, and meet me at Dr. Frank's House of Waffles. That's Dr. Frank's House of Waffles... when you're in the mood for some delicious waffles, just open your mouth and say 'ah'. (takes off jacket revealing a Dr. Frank's House of Waffles logo on his undershirt)

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 * Dennis Rodman, some gravy, and a dinosaur egg, and meet me at the courthouse.

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 * A door, a talkin cow, and a throat lozenge and meet me at the frozen yogurt shop. Come on, Fishy!

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 * Some cottage cheese, an armadillo and a whole mess of sandpaper and meet me at the school library. Come on, plucky!

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 * A flotation device, a bottle of hot sauce, and a guy named "Mad Dog" and meet me at the volcano. Now come on, Scrubby!

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 * Grab a cup full of beans, a handful of dirt and and a dog named Blue and meet me down by the old oak tree. Now come on, Sneezy!

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 * A handful of dirt, two dozen assorted donuts, and a aardvark, and meet me at the gymnasium. Now come on, Twisty!

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 * A textbook, a campus map and a beekeeper suit and meet me in college. Come on, Billy!

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 * Something good, something bad and something ugly and meet me at the carrel. Come on, Partner!

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 * A clown, a flagpole and a submarine and meet me in my room. Come on, Buffalo Bottom!

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 * Grab some Nail polish, some nail polish remover and uh any third item, and meet me over there. Come on, Velvet.

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 * A cow... a bone doctor... and an eyebrow trimmer, and meet me on the roof, come on, sailor!

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 * A bunch of weird stuff and meet me later so we can get into... some kind of trouble?

<hr width="50%"/> Kel: Kenan, that's a lot of stuff! How am I supposed to carry all that? I'm the man! Awwww, here it goes!!!
 * A oyster, a bicycle pump, a white picket fence, a magic flute, one of them little bitty blue things, a pound of butter, a pattymelt, a lawnmower, Bryant Gumbel, and a bunch of assorted cookies and other things we can snack on and meet me at the circus. Come on, Spicy! I'm the man!

Main characters

 * Kenan Rockmore - Kenan Thompson
 * Kel Kimble - Kel Mitchell
 * Kyra Rockmore - Vanessa Baden
 * Roger Rockmore - Ken Foree
 * Sheryl Rockmore - Teal Marchande
 * Chris Potter - Dan Frischman

Recurring characters

 * Sharla Morrison - Alexis Fields
 * Marc Cram - Biagio Messina
 * Mrs. Quagmire - Doreen Weese
 * Principal Dimly - Hersha Parady