Kerching

Kerching (2003–2006) is a sitcom aimed at teenagers on CBBC that details the lives of Taj, Danny and Semour. The programme revolves around the Chill - a local restaurant - and Taj's 'Rudeboy' money-making schemes.

Series 1

 * Taj: I've lost 10 grand!
 * Danny: Check down the back of the sofa.
 * Danny: Hey look it's what's-her-name, flea, flame, fla...
 * Taj: Fleur.
 * Danny: I was getting there! Seymour here's your big chance!
 * Seymour: Don't rush me bro! I'm leaving her, twisting in the wind, waiting for the right moment, then I'll strike like a cobra!
 * Danny: pretends to chuckle to himself You're too scared, aren't ya?
 * Seymour: Oh yeah!




 * Danny: All my love i've got to send ya! 'cos you're so pretty fine and tender...
 * Seymour: Stop, stop. I didn't know you felt this way about me :’’’Danny’’’!
 * Fluer: Oh Hiya Seymour. What you been up to?
 * Seymour: I... i i erm. been you look, i mean....
 * Fluer: I hope the end of these sentences are good!
 * Danny: and Taj laugh in the background
 * Seymour: Thats erm me yeh erm funny haha no funny erm weird.
 * Ricardo walks in.
 * Ricardo:Alright me lovely (to fleur) where have you been all my life?
 * Taj: Sane! While you haven't been bothering her. Did i mention i am Sonny on Hollyoaks now?

Series 2

 * Taj: I'll tell you three things I did wrong (looks at Danny) 1, walk like I was wearing cardboard underwear (looks at Seymour) 2, act like I didn't care and 3, listen to you two glovepuppets! (Walks off)
 * Danny: (counting on fingers) isn't that four? (Seymour hits Danny and holds up three fingers)




 * Taj: Oh great, pay me in cans.
 * Danny: How you gonna fit that in your wallet?




 * Missy: (to customer) Like I told you an hour ago, I'll be with you in a minute.




 * Seymour: Do we have to wear the chef's hats?
 * Alex: It was the only way I could get Carlton to lend us his kitchen.
 * Danny: How's he going to know if we don't wear them?
 * Carlton: You'd be surprised!




 * Danny and Seymour are caring for a baby simulator
 * Seymour: You're a good baby aren't you Ainsley!
 * Danny: I'm not calling our baby Ainsley, she's Kareesha-sha-sha-sha!
 * Seymour: Danny, she's a he!
 * Danny: How do you know?
 * Seymour: How do you think I know?
 * Danny: Ainsley it is then!




 * Ricardo: My Dad says he's always known I've had talent. But now, he's says it time I have some real responsibility...
 * Danny: What, he's going to let you tie your own shoelaces?!!




 * Seymour: You sent a Rudeboy Master, with Taj's name on it, to Ricardo. You, you plughole!
 * Danny: But, but you confused me, man!
 * Seymour: Danny, bananas confuse you!




 * The boys try to steal back the Rudeboy Master from Hip City
 * Taj: Where's Danny?
 * Seymour: He's under trance!
 * (Danny pops up from behind a vinyl disc section labelled "Trance")




 * Taj: Now I'm gonna be late meeting Alex because of you two!
 * Seymour: Don't blame me, blame DJ Airhead over there!

Series 3

 * Flashback: start of Rudeboy
 * Younger Taj: I'm the man now. Do you know what that means?
 * Younger Danny: First pick of the biscuit tin!
 * Younger Seymour: No Danny, you...you...biscuit tin!




 * Ricardo: We're called 20-20.
 * Michael: Because you have a clear, creative vision?
 * Ricardo: No, because there's 40 of us. We make So-Solid-Crew look like Nobby-No-Mates!




 * Kareesha: Carlton finally got another waitress. And fancy being called "Baz".
 * Jazmin: Actually it's Jaz-min.
 * Danny, Seymour, Taj, Omar, Mrs Lewis and Kareesha look at her
 * Kareesha screams




 * (Ricardo is unsure whether to go and live with his mum in Italy, or with his Dad in Manchester)
 * Michael: But I thought you loved in Italy, bro.
 * Ricardo: Yeah, but I can't speak a word of Italian.
 * Alex: Then move to Manchester with your Dad.
 * Ricardo: If I can't learn Italian, how am I gonna learn Manchesterian...
 * Michael rolls his eyes




 * Danny: After discovering Taj was dating Alex You mean lying. Tajan Lewis! How dare you treat your boyfriends... I mean friends like this.

Series 4

 * Danny has sent the childish radio advertisement jingle Rudebunny to a local radio station, and it is playing.
 * Taj: Danny what was the last thing I said to you before you left?!
 * Danny: Don't get 'em mixed up
 * Taj: And what did you do?
 * Danny: I got 'em mixed up

Characters

 * Taj Lewis - Devon Anderson
 * Seymour Franklin - Tendayi Jembere
 * Danny Spooner - Jamie Sweeney
 * Missy Lewis - Tisha Martin
 * Kareesha Lopez - Velile Tshabalala
 * Josephine Lewis - Judy Browne
 * Omar Lewis - Jaeden Burke
 * Ricardo Murray - Danny Young
 * Carlton - Curtis Walker
 * Tamsin - Hannah Tointon
 * Leon - Joe Gritt
 * Alex Moss - Elspeth Rae