Kung Fu Panda 2

Kung Fu Panda 2 is the 2011 3D sequel to Kung Fu Panda. The cast of the original film reprised their roles. The film was released on May 26, 2011 in Real D 3D and Digital 3D. It opened to positive reception and became an international success. Ska2oosh! (taglines)

Soothsayer

 * [first lines; voiceover] Long ago, in ancient China, the peacocks ruled over Gongmen City. They brought great joy and prosperity to the city, for they had invented fireworks. But their son, Lord Shen, saw darker power in the fireworks. What had brought color and joy could also bring darkness and destruction. Shen's troubled parents consulted a soothsayer. She foretold that if Shen continued down this dark path, he would be defeated by a warrior of black and white. The young lord set out to change his fate, but what he did next... only sealed it. Shen returned to his parents full of pride, but in their faces, he saw only horror. He was banished from the city forever. But Shen swore revenge. Someday, he would return, and all of China would bow at his feet.

Shifu

 * Po, the day you were chosen as Dragon Warrior... was the worst day of my life. By far, nothing else came close. It was the worst, most painful, mind destroying horrible moment... I have ever experienced. [shudders] But once I realized the problem was not you, but within me, I found inner peace and was able to harness the flow of the universe.
 * Remember, Dragon Warrior, anything is possible when you have inner peace.

Others

 * Po: [from trailer] Kung fu staring contest. Go! You guys look amazing by the way.
 * Crane: You can chain my body, but you will never chain my… [gets his neck cuffed; muffled voice] warrior spirit!
 * Shen: [to Po] The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.
 * Li Shan: [to his wife] Take our son and run away! Go!
 * Tigress: [enraged at Shen for his actions] You coward!
 * Master Ox: [showing up at the boat battle with Master Croc] Your friend there is very persuasive. [gestures to Shifu as he appears]
 * Po: [in slow-motion] I love you guys!

Dialogue

 * Po: Master Shifu! Master Shifu, what do we got? Pirates, Vandals of Volcano Mountain? Whatever it is, I will take them down! 'Cause I'm in a mood. I need to get something done. You know what I mean? Ahh... What are you doing?
 * Shifu: One of Master Oogway's final teachings. [performs the "Inner Peace" technique.]
 * Po: Whoa! Awesome! How'd you do that?
 * Shifu: Inner peace.
 * Po: Inner piece. That's cool. Inner piece of what?
 * Shifu: It's the next phase of your training. Every master must find his path to inner peace. Some chose to meditate for 50 years, in a cave just like this! Without the slimmest taste of food. Or water.
 * Po: Or...?
 * Shifu: Some find it in torture and suffering. As I did. Po, the day you were chosen as Dragon Warrior...was the worst day of my life. By far, nothing else came close. It was the worst, most painful, mind destroying horrible moment...
 * Po: Okay.
 * Shifu: ...I have ever experienced. [shudders at the thought] But once I realized the problem was not you, but within me, I found inner peace and was able to harness the flow of the universe.
 * Po: So that's it? I just need inner peace? My innards are already super, super peaceful.. So, all I need to do, is just get this thing going. Inner peace, you're going down! Now show me what were you doing that with your feet. I saw just sort of fancy foot...
 * Tigress: Po! Bandits, approaching the Musician's village
 * Po: Danger! Tell those musicians to start playing some action music, because it is on! Don't worry, Shifu. I'll master inner peace, as soon as I get back.
 * Tigress: No snack stops this time.
 * Po: [laughs] Snack stops! [then] Wait, you serious?


 * Shen: [enters the courtyard of his family palace] Good afternoon, gentlemen! Now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way, please leave my house.
 * Master Ox: Your house?
 * Shen: Yes, didn't you see the peacock on the front door? [spots the Soothsayer] Ah, there you are, Soothsayer. It seems your fortune-telling skills are not as good as you thought.
 * Soothsayer: We shall see, Shen.
 * Shen: [under his breath] No, you shall see, old goat. [aloud, to the Council] Where were we?
 * Master Rhino: What do you want, Shen?
 * Shen: What is rightfully mine...Gongmen City!
 * Master Rhino: Gongmen is under the stewardship of the Masters' Council and we will protect it, even from you.
 * Shen: [laughs] I'm so glad you feel that way! Otherwise, I'd have dragged that here for nothing. [indicating his wolf army dragging a rather large box on a cart]
 * Master Ox: What's in the box, Shen?
 * Shen: You want to see? It's a gift. It's your parting gift, in that it'll part you; part of you here, part of you there, and part of you waaay over there, staining the wall!
 * Master Ox: You insolent fool!
 * [Ox attacks, but is quickly brought down; Croc moves in, deflecting Shen's fan of blades. Finally, Rhino pushes Shen back with his hammer, knocking several of his fan blades away.]
 * Shen: [sneering] Show-off.
 * Master Rhino: That is a warning. You are no match for our Kung Fu.
 * Shen: I agree, [grins wickedly] but this is. [flips backwards onto the box, revealing a massive cannon. Rhino takes a defensive stance... as Shen fires it.]


 * Shifu: [to Po and the Furious Five, reading from a scroll] Are you familiar with the master of Gongmen City?
 * Po: Master Thundering Rhino?
 * Shifu: Yes.
 * Po: Son of the legendary Flying Rhino?
 * Shifu: [hands Po the scroll] Yes.
 * Po: Slayer of the 10,000 serpents in the Valley of Woe?
 * Shifu: [sadly] He's dead.
 * [Po and the Five look at the scroll in horror]
 * Po: Whoa.
 * Crane: But-But-But that's impossible!
 * Tigress: Rhino's horn defense is impervious to any technique!
 * Shifu: It was no technique! Lord Shen has created a weapon - one that breathes fire and spits metal! Unless he is stopped, this could mean the end of Kung Fu.
 * Po: But I just got Kung Fu!
 * Shifu: And now, you must save it! [points out with his staff] Go! Destroy this weapon and bring Lord Shen to justice!
 * Po: [starts running with the Five] Okay, here we go, here we- [as the Five leave, he turns back to Shifu] Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait...How can I do this? I mean, how can Kung Fu stop something that stops Kung Fu?
 * Shifu: Remember, Dragon Warrior, anything is possible when you have inner peace.


 * [Late at night, a sampan boat sails down a wide river. Inside, Po and the Five are sleeping]
 * Po: [having a dream, chuckling] Momma?
 * [In his 2D animated dream, Po finds himself in a forest filled with white trees. He turns and spots two panda-shaped figures walking away from him in a white light]
 * Dream Po: Mom? Dad? Is that you? [running after them excitedly] Mom, Dad!
 * [They turned around to see Po]
 * Dream Dad Panda: [unenthusiastically] Oh. Hey-Hey, son, you're back.
 * Dream Po: [stops running] Huh?
 * Dream Mom Panda: Honey, what are you doing here?
 * Dream Po: But I thought...
 * Dream Mom Panda: We replaced you, dear, with this lovely radish. [showing him a radish in a bundle]
 * Dream Po: Radish?
 * Dream Dad Panda: It's quiet, polite, and frankly, It does better kung fu.
 * [The radish suddenly leaps up in the air, making high-pitched kung fu noises]
 * Dream Po: No...No, no, no! Wait!
 * [The radish rushes at and gives him a thorough kung fu beating. As Dream Po is on the ground, the radish lunges. Before it hits, it suddenly forms into a glowing red eye and Po wakes up with a start. Troubled, he quietly gets up and exits the cabin, not noticing Tigress's eyes opening as he leaves]
 * Po: [mumbling to himself on deck] Radish, radish, radish! [punching the mast] YAH! [Plip! A water drop falls on his head. Looking up, he sees that water is dripping from the mast above. He begins making tai chi movements similar to Shifu's...] Inner pea... [plip! Another drop hits his head. He scowls and tries again] pea... [plip! He keeps trying, getting more infuriated as the water drops continue to interrupt him. Plip! Plip! Plip! Plip...] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!! [furiously punches the mast repeatedly; briefly stops...and a large amount of water drenches him; looking up, enraged] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! [begins headbutting the mast] INNER PEACE! INNER PEACE! INNERPEACEINNERPEACEINNERPEACEINNERPEAPEPAPAPAH-!!!!
 * Tigress: Ahem.
 * Po: [looks up; realizing Tigress is standing on top of the cabin; feeling embarrassed] I'm...Training.
 * Tigress: The mast is not a worthy opponent. [leaps over Po's head and lands opposite him; holding out her arm, palm faced towards him] I'm ready.
 * Po: Okay. So serious... [raising his fist and punches her paw as hard as he can. POW! Then clutching his fist in pain] HA-HA-HA-OW!!!!! I think I prefer the mast.
 * Tigress: Apologies. I used to punch the ironwood trees by the palace to train. Now, I feel nothing.
 * Po: That's...severely cool!
 * Tigress: [smiles slightly, then holds her arm out again] Again!
 * Po: [getting up and begins punching her fist repeatedly] So, um, this punching ironwood trees, how long did you have to do that?
 * Tigress: 20 years.
 * Po: Oh! [stops punching] 20-20 years? [resumes punching] Is there any...you know, a faster way? You know, until you'll, you know, don't feel anything?
 * Tigress: No. Besides... [twists Po's fist, spins him in the air and lands on the floor; then smiles, watching Po's belly bounces to stop] I don't think hard style is...your thing.
 * Po: Oh. [sits up straight]
 * Tigress: [kneels beside him] Po, why are you really out here?
 * Po: I just found out that my dad...isn't really my dad.
 * Tigress: Your dad, the goose? [Po nods; deadpan] That must have been quite a shock, and this bothers you?
 * Po: Are you kidding me? We're warriors, right? Nerves of steel, souls of Platinum. Like you. So hard core, you don't feel anything! [punching her arm, but retracts his fist in pain]
 * Tigress: [surprised] I was...
 * Mantis: So, what you guys talking about?
 * [They see the rest of the Five outside the cabin]
 * Po: Nothing. Nothing!
 * Viper: Po's having daddy issues.
 * Mantis: I'm so lucky, I don't have any problems with my dad. Maybe it's 'cause Mom ate his head before I was born. I don't know!
 * Viper: Mantis, this isn't about you! Po is the one freaking out.
 * Po: I'm not freaking out.
 * Tigress: [eyes widen and calling out to him] Po...
 * Po: I'm freaking in.
 * Tigress: Po!
 * Po: What?
 * Tigress: We're here. [the warriors turn to see Gongmen City in the distance, as the sun is rising] Gongmen city!


 * [Lord Shen approaches the large golden throne in the center of the room as the gorillas pushed the cannon]
 * Shen: [smiling fondly] My father's throne. He used to let me play here, beside him. Promising with someday this throne would be mine. [the throne is tossed out of a window seconds later. The cannon is moved in it's place] A little to the left.
 * Gorilla: But it's so heavy, Master.
 * Shen: Every thing must be exactly how I envisioned it, and I envisioned it a little to the left. [the gorillas adjust the cannon] Perfect! With the weapon, by my si..A little bit more. [the gorillas adjust the cannon one last time] With the weapon, by my side, all China will bow before me! We move out in 3 days, when the moon is full and the tide is high. Well, you old goat, why don't you tell me my-?
 * Soothsayer: Fortune?
 * Shen: Future. I was going to say future. Look into your bowl and tell me what glory awaits.
 * Soothsayer: [peers into her bowl] If you continue on your current path, you will find yourself...at the bottom of the stairs. [Shen looks down and is annoyed to see he has indeed reached the bottom of the stairs leading to his throne] I see...I see... [Shen comes closer] I see...pain. [plucking out one of his feathers]
 * Shen: OW! Hey! What did you do that for?!
 * Soothsayer: And anger. [chewing on the hem of his robe]
 * Shen: How dare you! This is the finest silk in the province!
 * Soothsayer: Followed by denial.
 * Shen: This is not fortune-telling! You're just saying what's happening right-!
 * Soothsayer: Now? The most important time is now. But if you really want to see the future...
 * Shen: What do you see?
 * Soothsayer: [burns a powder in a dish, creating a vision in swirling smoke] A peacock...is defeated by a warrior, of black and white. Nothing has changed.
 * Shen: [throwing a dagger, shattering the bowl; chuckling] That's impossible, and you know it.
 * Soothsayer: It is not impossible, and he knows it.
 * Shen: Who?
 * Wolf Boss: [running in] Lord Shen! I saw a panda!
 * Shen: A panda!? [knocks him to the ground, gripping him by the throat]
 * Wolf Boss: [nervously] A Kung Fu warrior. He fought like a demon! Big and furry, soft and squishy...uh, kinda plush and cuddly...
 * Shen: There are no more pandas.
 * Soothsayer: [taps the Boss's missing eye] Even with his poor eyesight, he can see the truth. Why is it that you cannot?
 * Shen: [to the Wolf Boss, angrily] Find this panda, and bring him to me! [pushing him away]
 * Wolf Boss: Yes, sir! [hurries away downstairs]
 * Shen: [chuckles] So, one panda lives. That does not make you right!
 * Soothsayer: You're right. Being right makes me right.
 * Shen: Then I will kill him, and make you wrong! [turns and sees her chewing the hem of his robe again] WILL YOU STOP THAT?!


 * [Meanwhile, the sampan sails quietly through Gongmen Harbor, stopping underneath a stone bridge. The Five leap up and begin scaling the wall. Po tries and fails a couple of times before joining then on top of a roof overlooking the city streets. The palace tower can be seen in the distance]
 * Tigress: That must be Shen's palace, in the other side of the city.
 * Po: Great! We will match in the tower, and proclaim; We are the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five, And we are here to bring you to justice! [begins leaping off the roof]
 * Mantis: Hey! [grabs Po's foot, making crash back on the roof, and pulls him back] What are you doing? This place is crawling with wolves.
 * [The warriors peer over the roof; indeed, there are wolf soldiers in every street of the city]
 * Crane: Hey! Isn't that the guy that hammered you in the face?
 * Po: [spotting Wolf Boss who smacked the pig's head while passing by] I do not like that guy.
 * Tigress: We need to get to that to tower, without being spotted by those wolves.
 * Po: Got it. Stealth Mode. [the warriors creep back down from the roof. Later, he attempts to sneak through the streets, stopping to hide behind two thin pillars. He briefly spots the Five stealthily leaping over the rooftops. He picks up a large plant and tries to use it as camouflage, but ends up tripping over the other plant pot. Now on the floor, he slides on his back towards cover...but changes direction when he sees a noodle bowl standing on the very edge of a noodle cart; he tries to reach a dangling noodle strand with his tongue]
 * Wolf: [off-screen] Hey, get outta the way!
 * Po: [alerted to the presence of wolves and rolls out of sight behind a market stall. He sneaks along the line of market stalls until he hits himself on something unseen] Ow! [emerging behind a fruit stall, only to encounter a wolf passing by. The wolf stares; the strands hanging from a kite on his head, coupled with two watermelons sitting in front of his chest, give him the appearance of a woman. He notices this, pulls out a fan, and begins flirting with the wolf in a female voice]Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, hello, ho, ho, ho, I couldn't help but- [headbutts the wolf, knocking him out cold. He quickly makes his way out the stall] Anyway. Where was I?
 * [Meanwhile, the Five stop on one of the rooftops]
 * Tigress: Where's Po?
 * Mantis: How can we lose a guy that big?
 * [The Five look down at the market street. It isn't long before they spot a dragon costume with panda legs clumsily making his way down the street. Tigress is embarrassed; the others are completely gobsmacked. In the street, Po knocks a huge lantern into a fireworks stall; sparkling, fiery chaos erupts in seconds. The Five leap down to ground level as Po passes by, looking for his friends]
 * Po: Guys, guys?
 * Monkey: [appears behind Po, beneath the costume] He-Hey, Po!
 * Po: [startled, and accidentally backhanded Monkey as the rest of the Five joined him beneath the costume] Sorry!
 * Crane: So, that was Stealth Mode, Huh?
 * Po: To be honest, not one of my stronger modes.
 * [The costume continues its journey down the street, where the warriors witness citizens being terrorized by the wolves. Viper peeks out from beneath the costume and gasps in horror at the sight. The costume spots a wolf lifting a sheep by the collar while holding a bowl of rice with one paw]
 * Wolf: [to the sheep] This rice is raw!
 * Sheep: [scared] You stole all my metal pots for Lord Shen!
 * Wolf: [flings down the bowl as a threat] Either you cook my rice, or I cook you!
 * Sheep: My apologies...
 * Crane: [whispers] Po, do something!
 * Po: [whispers] How am I supposed to help her cook rice without getting caught?! Wait, I have a better idea!
 * Wolf: Three, Two, One!
 * Po: [taps the wolf on the shoulder with the costume's tongue] Hey.
 * Wolf: Hey. [does a double-take, and turns back as Po punches him, knocking him out]
 * [As the sheep looks on, the wolf is dragged inside the costume through the dragon's mouth, given a thorough beating inside, and expelled from beneath the dragon's tail. A young rabbit nearby exclaims in disgust at the sight]
 * Po: We're here to liberate the city, and bring Shen to justice.
 * Sheep: You will need help!
 * Po: Thank you brave sheep, but it's too dangerous...I can't let you.
 * Sheep: Oh...No, not me. It's not safe to speak here.
 * Po: Right. [thinks for a moment, and then picks the sheep up into the dragon's mouth in front of the young bunny, who screams and runs off]
 * Sheep: I'm talking about, Masters Ox and Croc. They are in Gongmen Jail, on Black Dragon alley.
 * Po: What? They're still alive?! They must be in that jail gathering intelligence, hatching a plot to use their awesomeness to defeat the weapon! Okay, let's go! [puts her down] Thanks, sheep.
 * Wolf Boss: [spots the beaten soldier and the warriors; rushing in] Hey! Stop that costume!
 * [The costumes take off, pursued by wolf soldiers. It turns a corner and quickly climbs over an apple cart]
 * Viper: Take That!
 * [The costume tail-lashes the cart, sending a barrage of apples down on the wolves. Inside, the Five urge Po to move faster. He dodges an incoming group of wolves before becoming surrounded in a nearby street. The costume drags two wolves inside and spits them back out at the other wolves in the same manner as the wolf from earlier, also spitting out Monkey in the process. He rolls to a stop next to an antelope sweeping the street. The antelope stares at Monkey, who stares back sheepishly before rushing back beneath the costume. The costume makes its way through the maze-like streets of the city, like in computer games, consuming and expelling wolves in the process before getting cornered in a dead end. The wolves surround the costume with swords]
 * Wolf Boss: Now! [the wolves impale the costume] Got you! [yanks off the costume. only to find that the warriors have been replaced by cabbage crates with swords sticking out of them] Huh?! Split up! Search everywhere!
 * Wolf: What about over there?
 * Wolf Boss: Is 'there' a part of everywhere?
 * Wolf: I...I guess.
 * Wolf Boss: Then search there!
 * [Meanwhile several nearby barrels sneak out around a corner unnoticed. The largest barrel topples over, forcing the smallest barrel to push it into the alley. Tigress stops the barrel, causing the lid to fall of to reveal Po inside]
 * Po: They must be close. I can feel a Kung Fu chill riding up my spine.
 * Viper: [sliding out the barrel] Sorry, Po. It's just me.
 * Tigress: [standing up and spots a hanging sign on the alley corner] Look. Gongmen Jail.
 * [A tiny barrel rolls towards the two wolves guarding the jail entrance. They peer down at it]
 * Wolf: Aw, it's cute.
 * Mantis: [explodes out of the barrel] CUTE?! Huh?! [swinging the wolves around before knocking them senseless and tossing two barrels over the unconscious bodies]
 * [Po and the Five then burst into the jail and take out the guards inside. Po backhands the last wolf without even looking at him]
 * Tigress: Nice work, Po.
 * Monkey: At the first sight of trouble, I'll give you a signal. Ka-kaw! Kee-kee!
 * Po: You mean like Crane does?
 * Monkey: Yeah!
 * [Po and Tigress leap into the cell area]
 * Crane: [stepping up to Monkey] Excuse me, when have I ever made that noise?
 * [Po and Tigress peer into the cells as they search for Ox and Croc]
 * Po: Master Ox? Master... [spotting a melancholy Master Croc leaning on a cell door in a dark corner of the room. He excitedly runs over to him] The ferocious Master Croc! [spotting Master Ox inside and his happiness doubles] And Master Storming Ox! I can't believe, we're rescuing actual legends of Kung Fu. We're gonna free you from those bonds of injustice, no problem! [begins pulling the bars] Gotta be a key around here...no they wouldn't leave a key around here... [Tigress breaks the door off its hinges] Oh great, you found it! [excitedly running off] Alright, let's go! We're coming for you, Shen! Woo-hooo! Wahohohohoooo... [turns and falters] ...woo? [walks back to the two masters, who have made no move to leave their cell] Guys, are we going or not? Do you want to meet us there later? I mean, you do wanna take back your city, right?
 * Master Ox: Of course we do. [he and Croc pick up the broken door] But if we stand up against Shen, he will turn the weapon on the city! [they push the door back in its place]
 * Po: [stunned] Listen to yourself. You're protecting Gongmen city, by not protecting Gongmen city? [stepping forward] If we all fight together...
 * Master Ox: [pushing the door, shoving Po back] Then the weapon would kill everyone!
 * Po: Oh, would it? Then we use [Ox swings the door as he dodges and sidelines into the cell] a sneak attack. We'll get inside, and then...
 * Master Croc: And then you'll be stopped! [they shove Po back outside with the door. Ox cuts through the central bar and forces the 2 halves into the door frame, fixes the door in place] By the unstoppable weapon.
 * Po: Nothing is unstoppable except for me when I'm stopping you from telling me something unstoppable. [leaps at the door, which swings horizontally, bring him inside and knocking Croc outside. Croc and Tigress look at each other silently- Croc begins sheepishly tapping on the door. Inside the cell, he and Ox face each other] Master Ox, I'm not let you stay in this cell!
 * Master Ox: I like to see you get me out! [grabbing Croc's tail, yanking Croc inside while catapulting Po outside with the swinging door. Tigress catches him upside down, coolly turns him the right way up, and spins him around to face the cell]
 * Po: [pointing at her with an awed expression] You guys see that? It's called being awesome! Come on! Whatever happened to being heroes? [leaping back inside the cell. A minor scuffle ensues between the three warriors]
 * Master Croc: The only hero in this town is a dead 1. [Soon enough, all three warriors are spinning round inside the door. Po eventually ends up being thrown away on one side of the door, while Ox and Croc separate and fix the door shut on the other]
 * Master Ox: Like I said; You are not getting me out of this cell! [he and Croc notice that they're outside the cell] Oh, no. [The door falls and smashes to bits]
 * Po: [getting to his feet and stepping out of the cell, triumphantly] Yes! Alright. Let's go! [His triumph fades when Ox and Croc walk into the opposite cell and shut the door behind them]
 * Master Croc: I get the top bunk.
 * Master Ox: It's time to surrender, panda. Kung Fu is dead. [These words shock Po, Tigress and the Five, and are equally stunned]
 * Po: I...You...You...Kung Fu is a dea..aa.ad! Fine! You stay in your prison of fear! With bars made of hopelessness. And all you get is 3 square meals a day of shame!?
 * Master Croc: With despair for dessert.
 * Po: We'll take on Shen and prove to all those who hunger for justice and honor that Kung Fu still lives!?
 * Boar Prisoner: Yeah!
 * [Ox looks down. Suddenly, Boss Wolf bursts in with two wolf soldiers]
 * Po: [annoyed] Monkey?!
 * Monkey: [peering over the rail, sheepishly] Ka-caw...
 * Po: [turns to Wolf Boss] You! You're MINE!
 * Boss Wolf: I'll tell you what's gonna be yours: My fist in your plush cuddly, super-soft face! [Monkey and Crane take out the two guards] ...Uh-oh. [flees]
 * Po: Get him! [he and the Five take off after him]
 * Boss Wolf: [jumps onto a rickshaw cart] Get me outta here!
 * Antelope Driver: [frightened] Yes, sir! [speedily pulls Boss Wolf up the street as the Five emerge and chase him]
 * [Po stops outside the jail and spots another rickshaw cart nearby. Seconds later, he's riding the rickshaw down the street, speeding past the Five and gaining of Boss Wolf]
 * Monkey: Go, Po, go!
 * [Boss Wolf's cart takes a sharp turn into a nearby alley. Po is moving too fast and goes straight past]
 * Boss Wolf: Lose him!
 * Antelope Driver: Yes, sir!
 * Po: Viper!
 * Viper: Hang on! [wraps herself round a pole as Po grabs her tail]
 * [The momentum swings him round and into the alley. The alley opens up into a market place. Boss Wolf eventually grabs the driver]
 * Boss Wolf: Watch out! [flings the innocent antelope into Po's path. Po barely manages to swerve round the driver]
 * Po: Very uncool!
 * Boss Wolf: Try this! [knocking over several citizens and crates. Po is barely able to dodge the crates, and the 5 manage to pull all the citizens out the way, though they fall behind in the process. Po laughs and continues his pursuit. The chase takes them out of the market place and into a small street]
 * Boss Wolf: How about something small?! [picks up a pram full of baby bunnies]
 * Po: [horrified] No, no! [the bunnies are flung into his face. Blinded, Po ends up rolling off the street and into a scaffolding as Boss Wolf laughs at him] Cute bunnies off the face! [manages to see enough to spot that their cart is about to go over the end of the scaffold. He screams before slamming his foot on the left wheel, swerving the cart onto the rooftop next to the scaffold]
 * Bunnies: Fire! [Po sees that his foot is on green fire. Down below, the Five continue their pursuit]
 * Tigress: We lost him! [hears Po scream and looks up. On the rooftop, Po sees that they are again about to go over the edge. With nowhere to go, they indeed go over, but Po manages to balance the cart on two ropes stretching over the street, depositing the bunnies safely in the seat. Po spots that they're about to crash into the building opposite]
 * Po: Crane, catch! [swinging beneath the cart and tosses the bunnies into the air, all of which are caught by Crane. He crashes into the building, shattering the cart, and falls back into the street. Back on street level, he's left balancing on a wheel and a stick. Far ahead, Boss Wolf laughs tauntingly and continues on] Guys, guys, guys, guys! Give me a shove!
 * Tigress: Mantis, now! [Mantis flings Tigress forward. Tigress flies through the air, prepares a double-fisted punch an strikes Po directly in the rear...and he goes tearing up the street, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Boss Wolf barely has time to turn and yell in surprise before Po crashes into him. The two are now sparring on the still-moving cart, passing watching citizens as they speed down the street]
 * Wolf Boss: Is that the best you've got? Cause it feels like I'm fighting a big old fluffy cloud!
 * Po: Well, this cloud is about to bring the thunder!? [pushing Boss Wolf up with his foot, causing Boss Wolf to get hit in the back repeatedly by the hanging signs. Boss Wolf eventually retaliates by grabs his foot and leaning backwards, forcing him into a upwards position on the cart. Boss Wolf laughs as Po suffers the same treatment, in the face] Ow! Why... [whack] are... [whack] there... [whack] so... [whack] many... [whack] signs?! [a large gate sign approaches] WAAAAAH!!!!!! [ducks just in time. The cart goes through the gate and begins bouncing down the stairs. The motion gives him an idea. He sticks his fist out and Boss Wolf's face gets bounced into it each time the cart bumps on a step. The cart reaches the bottom of the stairs and goes down another street before riding up a ramp, sending Po and Boss Wolf flying into the air. They scream and clutch at each other as they soar over the city. As gravity begins to take effect, he grabs Boss Wolf and forces him beneath him] Come here! Alaka-squasho! [CRASH! Boss Wolf takes the worst of the impact as they crash into the ground outside the palace gates. The Five rush onto the scene as he staggers off the stunned wolf. Tigress catches him as he falls backwards] Yes! Taste of the defeat. Let me tell you something. Next time you miss with a panda, you better bring a whole...lotta... [At that moment, dozens of wolves emerge from all directions, while a dozen archers aim their bows from the palace wall. In seconds, the warriors are surrenders]
 * Wolf Boss: [gets to his feet] Guess nobody told you, if you mess with the wolf, you get the fangs!? [punches Po in the gut as he doubles over, winded] Now I've hit ya twice, what are you gonna do now?!
 * Po: [glaring at Boss Wolf, then an idea came to him] WE SURRENDER!!! [A gorilla pulls out some handcuffs. One by one, Monkey, Crane, Viper and Tigress are cuffed]
 * Crane: You could chain my body but you will never chain my... [a wolf cuffs his Crane's neck, muffled/muzzled his voice] warrior spirit.
 * Po: They don't forget the little guy!
 * Mantis: Did you just called (me)...?! [Po grabs and stuffs him in a little cage which he carries from that point on]
 * Tigress: [whispering in confusion] Po, what are you doing?!
 * Po: Trust me, I gotta a pla- [cries out in pain as a pair of cuffs is slapped around his own wrists] oww! No way! 8-point acupressure cuffs! Just like the 1 that held Tai Lung, the more you move the tighter they get... [a gorilla hooks his cuffs on a pole and yanks him off his feet. drags forward] These are the best cuffs. D'oh!


 * Shen: Greetings, panda. At last we meet. No. No, no, no.. We meet at last! Yes! That's it! Greetings, panda. We meet at..
 * Soothsayer: You are afraid for a reason.
 * Shen: I'm not afraid. He's coming to me in chains. If anyone should be afraid it's--
 * Soothsayer: You! [moves to Shen's robes]
 * Shen: Don't even think about it.


 * Po: Okay, enough with these riddles! Would you guys just spill the beans?! First, we come in and the weapon is tiny. Surprise, it's big! And then the lady over here, I think it's a guy, 'cause he's got a... [Shen savagely points his knife at him in the face as quick as a flash, getting him to shut up] Whoa!
 * Shen: The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.
 * Po: Well, thank you, but I find your evilness extremely annoying.
 * Shen: Who do you think you are, panda?
 * Po: Who do you think I am, peacock?


 * Po: [after Shen shows off his Feathers, causing Po to have another vision about the Massacre of the Pandas] You-You were there.
 * Shen: Yes. Yes, I was. [escapes]
 * Tigress: You just let Shen get away!


 * Guard Gorilla: Ow! My nose!
 * Shen: Call in the wolves! All of them! I want them ready to move! The Year of the Peacock begins now!
 * Wolf Boss: Right now? 'Cause, it's the middle of the year, so you'd only get like, uh, half the Year of the Peacock. [Shen glares furiously at the Wolf Boss and points one of his blades at him] And this is the Year, of course, of the Peacock. Happy New Year, sir.
 * Shen: [quietly] Get the wolves ready. We're loading the ships now. [no pauses; shouts] NOW!!! NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!


 * Master Ox: [recognizes them] Oh...You! What did you do?! It's chaos up there! What happened to stopping Shen?!
 * Monkey: [sarcastically to Po] Yeah.
 * Po: Yeah...Guys, come on! Give me a little credit. I meant for him to get away. Cause...It was a trick. There's a plot! I was thinking...of figuring out his plot...more.
 * Mantis: That makes no sense.
 * Po: What do you mean? Sure it does.
 * Tigress: Po, the truth! You had Shen. What happened?
 * Po: What are you talking about? What're you...I don't know, what are you talking about? Uh...Yeah! Ahh...He caught me off guard.
 * Tigress: The truth! [pauses out] Fine. They'll keep you far from danger.
 * Master Croc: Real far.
 * Po: What?
 * Tigress: You're staying here. [she starts to leaves Po]
 * Po: [catching up] Wa...Wait! I have to go ba... [Tigress growls while turns faster to Po, pauses; everyone was terrified and shocked]
 * Tigress: [angrily] You're stayin' here!
 * Po: I'm going, and you can't stop me! Okay, I wasn't ready that time.
 * Viper: [worried] Guys, don't.
 * Tigress: [preparing to fight] Ready.
 * Po: [attempting to distract her] Look!
 * [Tigress throws Po high into the air and flopped onto the ground, then pushed into center of the cells]
 * Viper: Stay down.
 * Po: [gets up] I have...to get to him.
 * Tigress: Then tell me why!
 * Po: He was there. Okay? The peacock was there, the last time I saw my parents. He knows what happened. Where I came from. Who I am. [pauses as Tigress looks on] Look, I'm going. I have to know. The hard core can't understand. [prepares to leave]
 * [Tigress then rushes towards Po]
 * Viper: Tigress, no!
 * [But Tigress is hugging Po, stunning the Five, including Crane, who's jaw beak is dropped]
 * Tigress: The hard core do understand. [pulls herself away] But I can't watch my friend be killed. [to Furious Five] We're going.
 * Crane: Hey, maybe you can't watch me be killed?
 * Tigress: Stop being a wimp.
 * Monkey: And she's back. [The 5 leaves the cell]
 * Master Ox: [to Po] Don't worry, kid. You're better off here.


 * Shen: [triumphantly] You were wrong, Soothsayer! [wields sword] We sail to victory tonight. Your magic panda is clearly a fool!
 * Soothsayer: [angrily] Are you certain it is the panda that is a fool?! You just destroyed your ancestral home, Shen!
 * Shen: A trivial sacrifice... [sticks the sword's tip into a nearby fire, then pokes the burning tip to a map of China, which bursts into a spreading flame] when all of China is my reward.
 * Soothsayer: Then will you finally be satisfied? Will the subjugation of the whole world finally make you feel better?
 * Shen: [sneers] It's a start. I might also convert the basement into a dungeon.
 * [Her anger spent, Soothsayer approaches the peacock, who is standing at the balcony with his back to her.]
 * Soothsayer: The cup you choose to fill has no bottom. It is time to stop this madness.
 * Shen: [chuckles] Why on Earth would I do that?
 * Soothsayer: So your parents can rest in peace.
 * Shen: [bitterly] My parents... hated me. Do you understand? They-- they wronged me. And... I will make it right.
 * Soothsayer: [sadly] They loved you. They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them.
 * Shen: [pauses] The dead exist in the past. And I must tend to the future. [to his gorilla guard] Set the Soothsayer free. She is of no use to me.
 * Soothsayer: [heartbroken] Goodbye, Shen. I wish you happiness.
 * Shen: Happiness... must be taken. And I will take mine.
 * [The gorilla guard leads the Soothsayer out]


 * Tigress: Po! Po, get away from him!
 * Po: Okay! Here we go! No more running Shen!
 * Shen: So in seems.
 * Po: Now! Answers!
 * Shen: Oh, you want to know so badly? You sink knowin' will heal you, eh? Fill some... crater in your soul? Well, here's your answer: your parents didn't love you, but here... let me heal you. [jumps back to reveal a cannon aimed at Po, and lights the fuse. Po raises a wok as a flimsy shield, and the cannon blasts him back and out of the factory]
 * Tigress: NO!


 * ''[After Po is injured from a flying cannonball blast, and is rescued by Soothsayer. Po then looks at Soothsayer with a mug of hot medicine.]
 * Po: [exclaims, groans] Yeah. Like, you're gonna make me drink that... [Soothsayer sticks a needle in his forehead, making his eyes bulge and his mouth pop wide open, tosses the hot medicine in his mouth and yanks the needle.] Ew! [coughs]
 * Soothsayer: If I wanted you dead, I would have left you in that river.
 * Po: ''[removing needles] Why save me?
 * Soothsayer: So you can fulfill your destiny.
 * Po: What are you talking about? Where am I? ''[notices that they are among the burned remains of a small panda village] What is this place?
 * Soothsayer: I am surprised that you remember so little... but then, you were so little when it happened. [Po suddenly hears screaming inside his head and cries out in pain. He crawls towards the edge of the house ruin. gazes at him.] Perhaps you do remember.
 * Po: What? It's just a stupid nightmare.
 * Soothsayer: Nightmare... or memory?


 * Soothsayer: Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be. [Realizing the truth in her words, Po remembers all the happy times he's had with his loved ones, meeting Shifu and the Furious Five, learning kung fu, and fighting against Tai Lung] So, who are you, panda?
 * Po: [slowly stands up; determined] I am Po. And I'm gonna need a hat.


 * Po: [standing on a rooftop] Shen, a panda stands between you and your... [Cut to where Shen is standing, and can barely hear Po; faintly] ...Destiny!?
 * Shen: WHAT?! [Cut back to Po]
 * Po: Prepare yourself for a hot serving of– [Cut back to Shen; faintly] ...Justice! Your reign of terror comes to an end!
 * Shen: [still not hearing] What...?!
 * Po: And now, free the five! [takes his hat off] Disc of Destruction!


 * Shen: Why aren't we firing?!
 * Wolf Boss: They're taking out our gunners, sir! They're getting close!
 * ''[Shen sees Po marching at him]
 * Shen: Fire! FIRE AT THEM!
 * Wolf Boss: But, sir, we'll kill our own!
 * Shen: [shouts] I SAID FIRE AT THEM! FIRE!!!! [Po keeps fighting the wolves, Wolf Boss looks at Shen then flings down his torch]
 * Wolf Boss: [last word before his death; defiantly] No. [Shen kills Wolf Boss with one of his knifes]

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 * [After Po destroys Shen's weapons]
 * Shen: [trying to catch his breath] H-- how did you... how did you do it?
 * Po: [shrugs] You know, you just keep your elbows up and keep the shoulders loose--
 * Shen: Not that! How did you find peace? I took away your parents, everything! I-I-- I scarred you for life!
 * Po: See, that's the thing, Shen. Scars heal.
 * Shen: No, they don't. Wounds heal.
 * Po: Oh, yeah. What do scars do? They fade, I guess?
 * Shen: I don't (know or) care what scars do.
 * Po: You should, Shen. You gotta let go of that stuff from the past, cause it just doesn't matter! The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.
 * Shen: [last words before his death] You're right. Then I choose this! [A duel ensues between them, lasts until he accepts his fate by being crushed to death by his own cannon; Po is flung off the boat and into the water; Everyone watches worriedly; Po emerges]
 * Po: Whew... [looks at the docks next to him]
 * Tigress: [appears and helps him up] That... was pretty hardcore.

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 * Mother Pig: What do you mean he's not here? It's my son's birthday. All he wanted was to meet the Dragon Warrior.
 * Mr. Ping: How about some tofu birthday cake, instead?
 * Mother Pig: You know what... we'll try again some other time. When do you think he'll be back?
 * Mr. Ping: [in tears; heartbroken] I don't know, okay?! I DON'T KNOW! Maybe never! I mean, I worry, okay, I'm his dad... or at least I was his dad... [flings himself across the table] Why did he have to go and save China...? I know why, but why? [sniffs] He's just one little panda.
 * [The mother pig's son starts laughing; Mr. Ping gets up, turns around and sees Po with two radish baskets. Mr. Ping approaches Po and hugs him]
 * Mr. Ping: So how did it go, did you save China?
 * Po: Yep.
 * Mr. Ping: I knew you would... that's why I had these new posters made... [pulls out a poster of Po] "My son saved China. You too can save, buy one dumpling get one free!"
 * Po: Hey, that's a pretty good deal.
 * Mr. Ping: Would you like to try one?
 * Po: Maybe later. [sets down the baskets] There's something I should tell you. [Mr. Ping gulps] While I was gone, I found the village where I was born… I found out how I ended up in that radish basket.
 * Mr. Ping: You did?
 * Po: (Yeah… and) I know who I am.
 * Mr. Ping: [barely speaking] You do?
 * Po: I'm your son. [The two embrace] I love you, dad.
 * Mr. Ping: I love you too, son.

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 * [Last line; in a location far from the Valley of Peace, a large circular shape is sitting in a shrine. It gets up and is revealed to be a male panda]
 * Li Shan: My son is alive. [steps out of the shrine and looks down upon a small farming village, which is populated by pandas just like himself. The pandas below catch his gaze]

Taglines

 * Ska2oosh!
 * Prepare for the return of awesomeness.

Cast

 * Jack Black — Po
 * Angelina Jolie — Tigress
 * Dustin Hoffman — Shifu
 * Gary Oldman — Lord Shen
 * Jackie Chan — Monkey
 * Seth Rogen — Mantis
 * Lucy Liu — Viper
 * David Cross — Crane
 * James Hong — Mr. Ping
 * Michelle Yeoh — Soothsayer
 * Danny McBride — Wolf Boss
 * Dennis Haysbert — Master Ox
 * Jean-Claude van Damme — Master Croc
 * Victor Garber — Master Rhino