Law & Order/Season 11


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Law & Order (1990–2010, 2022-) is a long-running police procedural and courtroom drama television series, created by Dick Wolf.

Endurance [11.01]

 * McCoy: Your Honor, this is nothing more than Mr. Peck's conceit that he can pull a rabbit out of a hat, and his never ending love for an opportunity just to hear himself talk.


 * McCoy: It's possible she suppressed her memory of that night. It's possible she felt too guilty to fully participate in her own defense.
 * Carmichael: It's also possible that her lawyer isn't the idiot that we take him for. He held on to this until he thought it would do the most good.
 * McCoy: No, he's an idiot.


 * Peck: The heart is an unruly little chihuahua.

Turnstile Justice [11.02]

 * Lewin: You have a defendent responsible for sending a dangerous psychotic out among the citizens of New York. Whatever excuses he has, whatever excuses the 2 of you have, now that you've gone after him I want you to run him to ground.


 * Lewin: How much time will Andrews serve with good behavior?
 * Carmichael: Under a year.
 * Lewin: Good, that means jail not state prison. He'll serve it at Rikers. Let's hope he has a good immune system.


 * Judge Mizener: Mr. Gallant, you understand that by pleading guilty, you'll be sentenced to a period of 10-20 years?
 * Brian: Yes.
 * Judge Mizener: Did you kill Stephanie Donatelli?
 * [Brian nods]
 * Judge Mizener: I need you to answer for the stenographer.
 * Brian: Yes.
 * Judge Mizener: Did you attack Nadine Konchalovsky?
 * Brian: Yes.
 * Judge Mizener: Can you tell us why you committed these crimes?
 * Brian: No reason.
 * Judge Mizener: Now, Mr. McCoy, I assume a motion to vacate the charges against the individual currently incarcerated for the attack on Miss Konchalovsky has been filed.
 * McCoy: It has, your honor. He'll be released as soon as I let corrections know that we're done.
 * Judge Mizener: We're done.
 * Mr. Donatelli: [jumps out of his seat in despair] We're done?
 * Judge Mizener: Please, Mr. Donatelli.
 * Mr. Donatelli: You guys declare yourselves done, and you're done? [points at Brian] You say the one and only person responsible for Steph getting killed is this lunatic?! You put a line through it on your list, and then you pat yourselves on the back?!!
 * Judge Mizener: Mr. Donatelli, I understand you're upset, but this isn't the time or the place to address these things.
 * Mr. Donatelli: Tell me when is the time and place, and I'll be there! [points at Brian again] Tell me when you're gonna hold someone accountable for turning him loose on Steph, and I'll be there.


 * McCoy: No one should be heard to say that providing medical care at Rikers Island is easy. Nor is it the position of this District Attorney's office that there aren't legitimate financial constraints on the provider. We've heard that the defendant operating under those constraints is just a simple man doing the best he could. Let's look at that a little bit: Brian Gallant was at Rikers for a year; he was medicated on a daily basis by the defendant's company, with the defendant's knowledge. On the day he was released, he was hallucinating and disoriented. Nonetheless, he was handed over to the Department of Corrections, who dropped him off at a subway station in the middle of the night. He was given no medication, no referral for ongoing care. Not an address to go to; not a phone number to call. This was not done by accident or oversight. This was the express instruction of the defendant. Was not the violent behavior of Brian Gallant a foreseeable event? Was not the defendant well aware, not only of Mr. Gallant's propensities, but of the risk he constituted for every person he came in contact with? The answer is: Of course, he was aware of it. Of course, he chose to ignore it. Of course, it was his recklessness that brought about this woman's death. Find him guilty, Ladies and gentlemen, he deserves it.

Dissonance [11.03]

 * Judge Wright: You need to understand that when it comes to trying someone for murder, particularly someone like Carl Reger, who's given so much of himself to the city, that Jack McCoy doesn't get a free one.
 * Lewin: And you need to understand that veiled threats disguised as friendly advice sound an awful lot to me like judicial bias. Especially when delivered ex parte.


 * Judge Wright: First off, I don't have to justify my decisions to you. Second, that sound you hear is the ice cracking underneath your feet.
 * Lewin: With all due respect, your honor, you weigh more than I do. I request that you recuse yourself from the case of the People versus Reger.
 * Judge Wright: Request denied.
 * Lewin: Then you can explain yourself to the grievance board.
 * Judge Wright: You file a complaint against me then your ADAs will never get to first base inside my courtroom. Based strictly on the merits of their cases.
 * Lewin: If you threaten me again I'll report this conversation and our last conversation to the presiding judge of the appellate division. And if you step over the line in court just once, I'll take you down and you won't get up again.

Standoff [11.04]

 * Prison guard: Listening to a couple of lawyers tell me what we should and should not do makes me feel like putting them in a cell with one of my 250-pound CPSU All-Stars. Then I'd go home, have a hot meal, get a good night's sleep, and come back in the morning to watch them mop.


 * Carmichael: They tried the victim.
 * McCoy: And made a badge a license to kill.

Return [11.05]

 * Rabbi 1: We offer no opinion on the sincerity of Mr. Becker's beliefs, or on who's entitled to try him where and for what. This is not up to us. All we can determine is whether the standard for conversion has been met. Without proof of a mikveh, we have to say it has not. Also, we see no evidence that, to this point, Eli Becker has been living what we could call a Jewish life style. Accordingly, Eli Becker is ruled not Jewish.
 * [Eli's father shouts in Hebrew and jumps out of his seat in fury]
 * Feldman: Rabbis? Rabbis, can I be heard?
 * Rabbi 1: Our ruling will be put into writing and made available to both sides by the end of the day.
 * Mr. Becker: I had half my family die in the ovens! Who the hell are you to tell me that my son is not Jewish?!
 * Rabbi 1: Sorry, Mr. Becker. This is not up to us.
 * Mr. Becker: A stinking technicality! And these momzers'll hang him for it!
 * Rabbi 3: The Talmud has no technicalities, Mr. Becker. Only laws.
 * Mr. Becker: Drop dead!


 * Lewin: If the case depends on the jury believing a career criminal who's cut a deal, I'd say we're in trouble.
 * McCoy: We have a defendant who left the country rather than stand trial.
 * Lewin: Which the defense will attribute to a combination of panic and religious fervor.
 * Carmichael: We could also establish that he was stealing from the business.
 * Lewin: A business his father half-owned.
 * McCoy: Are you suggesting that we offer him a deal?
 * Lewin: After what we went through to get him back here? Not on your life!

Burn Baby Burn [11.06]

 * Lewin: Don't beat yourself up too badly over this one, Jack.
 * McCoy: A guy shoots a New York City police officer in the line of duty and I can't convict him.
 * Lewin: Enough of the jury identified with his fear of cops.
 * McCoy: Used to be a fear of cops didn't justify shooting them.
 * Lewin: Used to be a lot of things.

Amends [11.07

 * Curran: I'd rather be in uniform. Too much politics in being a detective. I don't know how you guys do it.
 * Briscoe: We're different. We're in it for the money.


 * Brannigan: Did you think I was going to eat my gun?
 * Briscoe: Now why would do a thing like that?
 * Brannigan: I disgraced myself. Dishonored the job.
 * Briscoe: You made a mistake.
 * Brannigan: I let him go. He killed a young girl, and I let him go.
 * Briscoe: So now he's caught.
 * Brannigan: Can you forgive me, Lennie?
 * Briscoe: All day long, Tommy, all day long.

Thin Ice [11.08]

 * [Briscoe and Green find a murder victim in a parking garage]
 * Green: Guy stuck his car in a garage, thought he was safe.
 * Briscoe: He forgot the high cost of parking in Manhattan.


 * McCoy: The law says your right to rage ends at the other guy's nose.

Hubris [11.09]

 * Morriston: I don't see a warrant.
 * Green: It'll be here in a minute.
 * Morriston: It's my understanding that "in a minute" and "right now" are two entirely different things.


 * Judge Bradley: Mr. Morriston, this courtroom is not a singles' bar. You will conduct yourself with the proper decorum.

Whose Monkey Is It, Anyway? [11.10]

 * [Peavey is facing manslaughter charges for accidentally causing the death of a lab assistant while trying to free a monkey]
 * Peavey: [looking to Maxine] She told me about this guy, John Brown, who led a raid on Harper's Ferry to steal guns to free slaves. Ever hear of him?
 * McCoy: Apples and oranges.
 * Peavey: Pretty brave guy, wasn't he?
 * McCoy: [admittedly] Yeah, he was.
 * Peavey: What would he do?
 * Maxine: You've got to make this decision for yourself.
 * Peavey: [pause] Thank you for your offer, Mr. McCoy. I want to go to trial.


 * [after Peavey is found guilty]
 * McCoy: Man's dominion over the animals remains intact.
 * Carmichael: The jury decided to follow the law.
 * Lewin: And a hero is born.

Sunday in the Park with Jorge [11.11]

 * Briscoe: That's the trouble with lying, Kiki: you have to tell the same lies to the same people.


 * Palmieri: You got yourself the right kind of defendant. He's Brazilian, but he looks like he could be Puerto Rican. I mean, Brazil's still in Latin America, right? As long as he's Latino, you've got the right color of head on your stick.
 * McCoy: I don't care what color of head's on my stick. All I care about is, did he do the crime?
 * Palmieri: Yeah, right.

Teenage Wasteland [11.12]

 * Lewin: What should be the standard to take the life of a teenager?
 * Carmichael: Where I come from, it's where the crime committed is so vicious, so cruel, he forfeits the right to get any older.
 * Lewin: Where I come from a person can't forfeit that right. We can only take it from him.


 * Lewin: With any luck, we'll be able to strap him to a gurney before he's 21. God help us all.

Phobia [11.13]

 * Powers: My dealings with the police have been a joke.
 * Lt. Van Buren: You haven't dealt with me, Miss Powers.


 * Lt. Van Buren: What kind of idiot arranges a pickup for ransom money?
 * Briscoe: The kind of idiot whose license plates read "HOSE MONKEY".

A Losing Season [11.14]

 * Dickler: So you found my radio, huh? Great. If you happen to see a few wheels and an engine, let me know. My car was stolen four months ago.
 * Green: Four months ago?
 * Dickler: Yeah, some cops raided a chop shop up in the Bronx back in November. They showed up here with one of my front doors. Now you guys bring me my radio. At this rate, I figure I should have the whole car back in about seven years.


 * McCoy: This is no champion, ladies and gentlemen. This is no favorite son. This is a man who got by on his talent, had others willing to lie for him because of it, had others do his bidding in order to profit from it. A child taken from his dying mother's womb will have to struggle to survive without her. Dina Meredith's mother will have to make it without her daughter. It's time to stop cheering for this man and for his ability to play ball. It's time to stop fretting about the opportunities supposedly taken from him, and to start thinking about the opportunities and the lives stolen by him.

Swept Away - A Very Special Episode [11.15]

 * Kaufman: You can't arrest us, we have a show to finish.
 * Briscoe: Consider yourselves cancelled.

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 * Briscoe: How long are you gonna stick with that story, Gavin? 'Cause I'm just trying to plan my day here.

Bronx Cheer [11.16]

 * McCoy: Two murders, Nora. We're supposed to let him off easy?
 * Lewin: I said make a deal. I didn't say pony up the courthouse.

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 * Lewin: Richardson stays in jail.
 * McCoy: He can hire an attorney, file for a writ of habeas corpus.
 * Lewin: With what, his mother's public assistance?
 * McCoy: He can file pro se, like any other prisoner... or I can do the writ.
 * Lewin: Aren't you worried about the precedent it sets?
 * McCoy: I can file it as a private citizen, if you think it's more appropriate.
 * Lewin: I don't think the public will see the distinction.
 * McCoy: I think the only distinction they see is between right and wrong.
 * Lewin: [smiling] Make sure my name is on the writ.

Ego [11.17]

 * Briscoe: So what's the story? Girl meets bridge?
 * CSU Technician: Girl meets bullet, then girl meets river.
 * Briscoe: I love a happy ending.

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 * Conroy: You know, this may come as a big surprise to everyone, but I loved Karen.
 * Carmichael: Killing someone is a pretty sick way of saying "I love you".

White Lie [11.18]

 * Briscoe: Let's get some burgers.
 * Green: What you got against that Indian place?
 * Briscoe: You ever seen one Indian in there?

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 * McCoy: [to Vercal's attorney] Here's his choice, Miss Mancelli: He can get cut a deal with us now, or he can go back to Colombia.
 * Mancelli: They have no evidence against him there.
 * McCoy: His associates know he was arrested. Ask your client how long he's stay alive if we sent him back.
 * Mancelli: That's blackmail!
 * McCoy: I prefer to call it plea bargaining.

Whiplash [11.19]

 * Green: [to a suspect complaining of a "radiating" pain] Yeah, that's good, now "radiate" your ass up against the wall!

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 * McCoy: The bottom line is this: Hector Santiago is dead because these men paid him $200 to get into a cheap car and cross his fingers, and hold on tight.

All My Children [11.20]

 * Carmichael: I love litigating in the dark.

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 * McCoy: [about the case against Wilder] Difficult or not, we have an obligation to prosecution.
 * Lewin: We also have a burden of proof. And since it's going to be my ass they'll use as target practice, I'd like to test that proof.

Brother's Keeper [11.21]

 * Dr. Rodgers: Margaret Sikorsky, 24, ODed. Death resulted from a lethal combination of high potency cocaine and several prescription drugs. I can give you a copy of this.
 * Briscoe: How did she get here?
 * Dr. Rodgers: Same as everybody else: she died.

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 * Briscoe: If you can't trust a guy named Buddha, who can you trust?

School Daze [11.22]

 * Briscoe: One of my ex-wives called this morning to bust my chops.
 * Green: Which one?
 * Briscoe: I forget.

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 * Carmichael: Gentlemen, if we could just lower the amount of testosterone a little bit.

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 * Lewin: [about Semple] With what's waiting for him, it might have been kinder to give him the needle.
 * Carmichael: Either works for me.

Judge Dread [11.23]

 * Green: [reading a death threat] "Carlin, you stank-ass bitch, I'm gonna make you lick my Mac-10."
 * Briscoe: I'm guessing the motion was denied.

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 * Lewin: I'd like to think I can do this job without becoming a cynic.
 * McCoy: I'm not a cynic. I get up every morning hoping to find an honest man.

Deep Vote [11.24]

 * Lt. Van Buren: [reading the ballistics report on a homicide] Hollow-point. Double the damage, double the fun.
 * Briscoe: This lady picked the wrong guy to get into a traffic jam with.
 * Lt. Van Buren: That's why I don't even honk my horn anymore.

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 * Lewin: Walk softly, and carry a big subpoena.