Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Season 5


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Law & Order: Criminal Intent (2001- 2011) is a criminal drama television series, part of the popular Law & Order franchise created by Dick Wolf. The show focuses on the Major Case Squad, an elite group of detectives specializing in cases of political sensitivity or public attention.

Grow [5.01]

 * [Goren's nemesis, Nicole Wallace, is suspected in another murder while trying to start a family]


 * Logan: [about Wallace]: 18 murders. Wow. Beauty, brains and a complete psycho....my dream girl.


 * Gwen: Daddy doesn`t love me, does he?
 * Wallace: Sometimes daddies can love too much...you wouldn`t want that...


 * Goren: Here you are, with a child killer as a boyfriend, because this is the kind of people you attract. Because you will never have a normal life. A normal life is not for you, Nicole.


 * Wallace: You're insane to think I'd be willing to go back to prison. I have a child to care for.
 * Goren: You can't possibly think you can have anything to do with Gwen's life. You think about your own child, Nicole.
 * Wallace: That was an accident... I never meant for her to die, I didn't. I loved her.
 * Goren: You couldn't stop yourself.
 * Wallace: [crying] She was just a little girl.
 * Goren: You couldn't control yourself, and you can't guarantee that that won't happen again.
 * Wallace: Gwen is a good girl with a good heart. She wouldn't love me if there wasn't anything good about me.
 * Goren: What about your own child? Wasn't she a good little girl? Didn't she love you, even more than Gwen? One day Gwen will do something, or maybe she`ll do nothing, and you`ll snap.
 * Wallace: No...no...that won`t happen.
 * Goren: You`re not safe to be around, Nicole...too much damage has been done.
 * Wallace: No, with her it`ll be healed ...it will be all right.
 * Goren: No. If you want to save yourself, you have to face up to who you are.
 * Wallace: That`s it? That`s all you have for me? Confess...go to prison?


 * Wallace: [to Goren] You of all people - mistrusting a librarian.


 * Evan: I can always have more children, but $5 million... Where do you get that kind of money?

Diamond Dogs [5.02] [L/B]

 * [A series of bloody jewelry store robberies teams new Major Case Squad member Mike Logan with his new partner, Carolyn Barek.]


 * [Logan turns away from harrying another detective to find Barek staring at him.]
 * Logan: What?
 * Barek: Relax. You got the job.


 * [Logan and Barek watch a security tape. Barek mumbles to herself.]
 * Logan: You know, you might want to get a cell phone. That way people won't think you're talking to yourself.
 * Barek: Been working alone too long.


 * Barek: [To wife] Was something else stolen that didn't make the report?
 * Logan: [To husband] Alright, look, pal, this busted look on your face, I've been there. So either she can tell us, or you can save us a step.


 * Barek: Cherry tomato? They're from my garden.
 * Logan: What else you grow?
 * Barek: Cabbage.
 * Logan: Polish food. I love pierogis. Are your mother's any good?
 * Barek: Nah. Wasn't her thing. So what did Mrs. Logan make her boy?
 * Logan: Rum punch. [He smiles to himself. Barek looks inquiring.] Private joke.


 * Barek: That's one of the johns that Logan picked out.
 * Capt. Deakins: [About Logan] He's one of those cops. Always looking for the crook in the room.


 * Logan: You see that guy next to partner?  [While Deakins and Barek watch outside the interview room]  That's my boss, and if I don't come through for him, he gonna boot my ass back to [[Staten Island]].


 * [Barek and Deakins watch Logan interviewing a witness through a glass window. They do not have access to audio.]
 * Barek: He's got an interesting interview style. Very affable. Cuddly cop. Not what I expected.
 * [Inside the interview room]
 * Logan: [To witness] And I'll owe you. I'm good for it. Ask anybody. Mike Logan. How about it? [Witness nods.] Now I'm going to pound my fist on the table. Okay?
 * [Logan slams his hand on the table and stands up abruptly, looking angry. Outside the room, Barek looks at Deakins.]
 * Barek: Now that's the Logan I expected.


 * Logan: So just in case I need an interpreter, how many languages do you speak?
 * Barek: Spanish, Yiddish, Italian, Polish, some Creole, some Russian, some Cantonese from working in Chinatown. You?
 * Logan: I can say "Stop, police" and "What's your sign?" in fifteen different languages.


 * Logan: Have smack, will travel.


 * Barek: Abusive ex-husbands, boyfriends. It's what she's had to put up with in order to support her habit.
 * Logan: Lemme get out my violin.
 * Barek: I was taught in catechism even the worst sinner deserves our compassion.
 * Logan: Yeah? Yours, maybe. I'll save mine.

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 * [Logan and Barek confront the fence inside the pool hall]
 * Barek: Hi, we're getting engaged. I'm looking for a diamond solitare.
 * Fence: I'm not in the jewelry business.
 * Barek: Are you sure?
 * Fence: I'm sure.
 * Logan: What the loop for, so you can find your jeans when you take a leak?
 * [Logan swings the pool cue on the jeweler's loop on the fence's neck]
 * Logan: You fencing rocks for Johnny Feist?
 * Fence: I don't know no Johnny Feist.
 * Logan: You know, I had a partner -- oh, what a great stick man he was -- here's something he had way too much decency to teach me.
 * [Logan snaps a pool cue in half with his foot.]
 * Fence: What're you gonna do with that?
 * [Logan grabs the fence by the jeweler's loop around his neck and shoves the broken pool cue under his jaw. He drives the fence around the pool hall while Barek follows, looking alarmed.]
 * Logan: I'm a rage-a-holic cop who took a swing at a city councilman. Everybody thinks that I'm a ticking bomb. Maybe today's the day I blow, I don't know. It's up to you.
 * Fence: You're sick, man. Don't hurt me.
 * Logan: Hurt you? Hurt you? How much you pay Johnny for those rocks? You profit from the people he kills. You encourage him to kill more. I have absolutely zero compassion for you. You know, Rudy's not the mayor anymore, but that doesn't mean we can't have some fun.

Prisoner [5.03] [G/E]

 * [A botched ransom payment leads to the discovery of the kidnapped wife of a prison warden, and Goren and Eames have to determine whether she was a willing victim.]

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 * Hope: Bill, you don't have to hide your wedding album. I'm here to support you. We're in this together.
 * Hendry: Until Jenny comes home. [Hope is silent] Put yourself in her place. Wouldn't you want me to be there for you? There can't be a "we" when Jenny comes home.

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 * Bowman: [about Hendry] He said that there were two kinds of wives: show dogs and mutts.

Unchained [5.04] [L/B]

 * [Logan and Barek confronts a cop who is in business with the Mafia]

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 * Virgini: Cops are like dogs. Worst thing they can do to us is run us out of the pack.

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 * Virgini: You stepped between me and my family.
 * Logan: Which family was that?

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 * [after Virgini curses out his daughter]
 * Logan: Bartoli was right - it is easy to forget he's a cop.
 * Barek: Even easier to forget he's a father.

Acts of Contrition [5.05] [G/E]

 * [Goren and Eames investigate the murder of a nun.]

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 * Goren: [trying to get a man's description] Was he big, like me?
 * Sister Edwina: Not so big. And not so... Caucasian.

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 * Eddie: I ask myself, where was this zeal 17 years ago when my brother's skull was cracked open?
 * Goren: It must gall you to know these men are walking free.
 * Eddie: You know what galls me? Those trials of old white men who killed civil rights workers. Bombed churches 40 years ago. Their convictions hailed as victories of American justice. But for 40 years these old men sat down to dinner with their families. Slept in their own beds. Woke up free men. And now that they're old and dying, now that they have nothing left to lose, now they go to jail.

Part 1 [5.06]

 * [When a high school girl from Iowa goes missing, the Major Case squad's investigation leads them to a powerful judge and his family.]

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 * Barek: What kind of mother sends her kid on a trip without a change of pants?
 * Logan: Besides mine?

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 * Capt. Deakins: [Turns off a TV news show.] Smell the rotting meat in the air? That's the vultures gathering.

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 * Eames: The girls don't remember anything about the place except that it's down a flight of stairs and it has a red bar.
 * Barek: Oh. Ah ... The Shock and Awe club. It's on Harrison between Greenwich and Hudson.
 * [The other detectives stare at her.]
 * Barek: There's this DJ there that I know.
 * [She leaves. Logan grins at Goren and Eames.]

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 * [Goren questions a waitress at a club, showing her sketches of two teenagers.]
 * Waitress: I don't remember them. Are they your grandkids or something?

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 * Father of witness: She engaged in reckless and inappropriate behavior.
 * Eames: I think we know what that means.

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 * [After Goren and Logan begin exchanging tidbits about the Rat Pack and its history in New York City landmarks]
 * Eames: [To Barek] Let's put them out of our misery.

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 * [Goren and Logan head off to a club to look for their suspect. Baren and Eames watch them go.]
 * Eames: There they go. Ocean's Two.

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 * Logan: Well. I guess we go to the show part of show and tell.

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 * Carver: Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves. We are flying into the eye of the hurricane.

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 * [When a member of the press attempts to get into the Peterson's house to interview her about her missing daughter.]
 * Mrs. Peterson: I know how it is with you people. If she's white put her in the spotlight. If she's black, put her in the back. I'll take your interest now any way it comes, but do not mistake my desperation for gratitude.

Part 2 [5.07]

 * Goren: He resisted the cavity search.
 * Capt. Deakins: I don't blame him.

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 * [Discussing the discovery that the victim had a second sexual partner]
 * Eames: There was a second shooter.

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 * [Upon learning that a suspect's father hired a hooker for his son's 16th birthday]
 * Logan: Geez, all I got for my birthday was a transistor radio.

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 * Branch: It's not enough doing good. You have to be seen doing good.

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 * [Eames watches Goren peel back a blotter and touch all the stains underneath.]
 * Goren: I'm just checking which ones are fresh.
 * Eames: They must love you in the produce section.

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 * [Logan and Barek are called back to One Police Plaza for an emergency meeting with Captain Deakins and the attorney for the City of New York.]
 * Attorney: The suit alleges civil rights violations including the use of excessive force, going back to 1993.
 * Logan: This is crap. These were all investigated and dismissed by the review board.
 * Attorney: All except the last one. Greg Sanchez. He alleges you threatened him with a pool cue and tried to drag him to a bathroom.
 * Logan: Oh, yeah. Him. The fence. I never actually threatened him.
 * Attorney: Mr. Sanchez named Detective Barek as a witness.
 * Barek: Nobody talked to me about it. If they had I would've said I saw a smart detective use the power of suggestion to get life-saving information from a known criminal.

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 * Logan: Hey, thanks for saying that.
 * Barek: Don't thank me. That's what I saw.
 * Logan: Well, hey. Thanks for seeing what you saw.

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 * Barek: [About the FBI] Those people couldn't stop an asthma attack.

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 * Carver: For a man who admitted having sex with a 16-year-old murder victim, arrogance is not the best defense.

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 * Attorney: Do you recognize it, Detective Eames?
 * Eames: Yes. It's a letter I wrote to my superior officer five years ago.
 * Attorney: Please summarize the contents.
 * Eames: It's a request for a new partner, but I withdrew my request.
 * Attorney: Please read the highlighted passage.
 * Eames: "Detective Goren's erratic and antisocial behavior, his volatile and bizarre interrogation techniques, lead me to have seroius doubts about his judgment and his mental stability--" I want to explain.
 * Attorney: Thank you. No more questions.
 * Carver: Redirect, your honor. Detective Eames, please explain why you withdrew your request.
 * Eames: I was used to working with more conventional detectives. Detective Goren's style is definitely unique and an acquired taste. Over time I came to see that his approach was based on a deep understanding of human behavior. I came to appreciate him as an ethical person, and an effective police officer.
 * Carver: Thank you. No further questions.

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 * [Outside the courtroom.]
 * Eames: I'm sorry, Bobby. I should have told you.
 * Goren: I am an acquired taste. I'm lucky you withdrew your letter.

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 * Sean: I don't know where I heard it. Maybe I read it. On the internet.
 * Logan: No, we googled and doodled it. It's not anywhere.

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 * Carver: Justice is a jagged road.

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 * [Outside the courtroom seeing Judge Harold Garrett escaping the press.]
 * Eames: Guess the Garretts will be sharing orange jumpsuits for Christmas.

Saving Face [5.08] [L/B]

 * [The murder of a medical student apparently working as a drug mule sends Logan and Barek to a medical foundation that performs reconstructive surgery on the needy in South America]

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 * Logan: [to Dr. Ansel] Not to mention, the only reason you're here is because your parents went back to the drawing board after your brother died. That's a race you can never win.

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 * Logan: [to Leo Ansel] Maybe if you hadn't treated her like a spare tire, she wouldn't be in this mess.

Scared Crazy [5.09] [G/E]

 * [The murder of a programmer at a hi-tech company leads Goren and Eames to a rival company and one of its programmers]

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 * Goren: You just sidestepped our question.
 * Dr. Pynchon: I thought it was more polite than saying, "It's none of your business."

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 * Boatman: [to himself] Focus in. Trust my intellect. Admit to trivial things. Focus in...

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 * Eames: [about Boatman] Everyone told us he wouldn't harm a fly. Torture changed him.
 * Goren: Evil changes everyone.

Dollhouse [5.10] [L/B]

 * [A dead car salesman leads Logan and Barek to a woman who is using her son to blackmail multiple men into paying child support.]

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 * [About Logan]
 * Barek: Boys love their toys.

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 * Simmons: It's an honor to meet you. An honor to work on Major Case.
 * Capt. Deakins: At ease, soldier.

Slither [5.11] [G/E]

 * [Goren and Eames investigate Bernard Fremont, a murderous con artist who "mentored" Goren's nemesis, Nicole Wallace]

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 * Eames: Have you heard from her lately?
 * Fremont: Nicole is a fugitive, thanks to you two. And, no, she'd never put me in that kind of danger. She's very protective.
 * Goren: Well, you'd be very proud of your star pupil.
 * Fremont: I can't take the credit. She's a natural.
 * Goren: Well, she's very adept at poisons. Is that something that you taught her?
 * Fremont: I'll take a pass on that.

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 * Capt. Deakins: What are we talking about, some kind of Manson family?
 * Eames: If the Manson family shopped on Madison Avenue.

Watch [5.12] [L/B]

 * [When a body falls from the wheel well of a passing plane, Logan and Barek are put on the trail of an unlikely serial killer.]

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 * Barek: How do you know all that aeronautical lore? Date a stewardess?
 * Logan: My old man. Took me to the beach on the weekends to watch the planes take off and land. He used to fly what they called Corsairs off the aircraft carrier Antietam during the Korean War. So. Of course I wanted to be a fighter pilot.
 * Barek: Hah. I can see that.

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 * Barek: None of them were sexually assaulted, just like our Jane Doe.
 * Capt. Deakins: This perp gets stranger.

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 * Logan: It's rainin' hookers.

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 * [Discussing the possible ID of a Jane Doe.]
 * Barek: Could be a hooker with no arrests.
 * Capt. Deakins: Yep. And there's a heaven where we'll all be reunited with our childhood dogs.

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 * Capt. Deakins: If coincidence were evidence--

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 * Barek: [Speaking to a suspect] You know what occurs to me? That nothing gets you hot. You're just one of those guys that burn cold. You know, like you didn't do well with girls so you just gave up on sex. Like this drawing, of Junie? It's like a kid did it. It lacks anatomy. Is that what you're like, Dwayne? [glances at his crotch.] You lack anatomy, Dwayne?

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 * [Discussing a suspect.]
 * Barek: He stays here?
 * Mrs. Geddens: Yes. Until his last night. Then he sleeps on his boat in the harbor. He says to get back his sea legs.
 * Logan: Yeah. After a weekend I need to get my cop legs back.

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 * Barek: Art could've run but he came back to help his cousin.
 * Capt. Deakins: Yeah, it'd be touching. If they weren't serial killers.

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 * Barek: If Art's dad had known what his bullying would lead to, he might have thought twice about it.
 * Logan: You ever wonder why I don't have kids? Now you know.

Proud Flesh [5.13] [G/E]

 * [The son of a media magnate is murdered, and Goren and Eames investigate his powerful, dysfunctional family]

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 * Eames: [referring to a dead body in latex] He died with his freak on.

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 * Professor Lewis: This story of yours is - it's Kafkaesque.
 * Eames: That would make you the bug, Larry. You know what I like to do to bugs? I like to watch my partner squash them.

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 * [Goren asks a Chinese shop owner a question in Chinese]
 * Shop owner: [in Chinese] You speak Chinese like my little dog!
 * Translator: She said...
 * Goren: [embarrassed] I know, I got it.
 * Eames: [amused] So did I.

Wasichu [5.14] [L/B]

 * [The murder of a Secret Service agent in her home focuses the detectives' attention on her lobbyist husband.]

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 * Capt. Deakins: I just got a call from the Chief of D's about my detectives giving the run-around to the Secret Service. Didn't I give you my speech about catching more flies with honey? Because I know your partner's heard it.
 * Logan: Gee, uh....

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 * Barek: I think we've been made.
 * Logan: Yes, but as what?

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 * Barek: We're not far from the Pekonic Indian reservation.
 * Logan: Talk about feeling like a stranger in your own country.
 * Barek: Them or us?
 * [Logan grins.]

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 * Barek: That's just what they need. An addiction-driven economy.
 * Logan: Hey, it's better than no economy at all.

Wrongful Life [5.15] [G/E]

 * [Goren and Eames investigate the murder of an urban explorer who had unlawfully obtained medical records that could have been used in an unusual court case]

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 * Goren: [about Victoria Carson's "wrongful life" lawsuit] Maybe Lisa didn't think there was anything wrong with her life.

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 * Eames: [to Victoria] He's got this idea you're gonna take care of Lisa, instead of dumping her at the first cut-rate group home on your way to the local wine bar.

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 * Victoria Carson: [to her son] All of your life you have been nothing but a burden. You and your sister - millstones around my neck!

Drama Giocoso [5.16] [L/B]

 * [When an opera orchestra violinist shows up dead in a ventilation shaft, detectives concentrate on the conductor.]

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 * [When Rodgers starts singing opera]
 * Logan: Geez, I never thought I'd envy the dead.

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 * [Regarding a K-9 unit going through the locker rooms to sniff for drugs]
 * Opera Manager: You're going to let <I>that</I> run wild in my opera house?
 * Logan: Don't worry. Dexter's housebroken.

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 * Logan: Guy's already got a reputation. Lawsuit might have cost him big time.
 * Capt. Deakins: So he killed her. Guy's seen too many operas.

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 * Logan: This backstage, it should be on stage. They'd sell more tickets.

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 * Reinhardt: If I'd known I would be grilled by some Visigoth --
 * Logan: A what?
 * Barek: It's a barbarian tribe that invaded Rome.
 * Logan: Oh.
 * Barek: I remember that from the one history class I didn't cut.
 * Reinhardt: I'm sure you were a very charming street urchin.

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 * Reinhardt: You think I need inducements to get what I want? On any night, I can point my baton at any woman in the audience and she's mine.
 * Logan: Well, whatever little stick that you pointed at her, we think you swatted it down with the threat of a lawsuit.

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 * Logan: Waterproof to cover a wound? Maybe it's not for nothing he's wearing a turtleneck.
 * Barek: We need to find someone who's seen him without his shirt on. Unless you want to take a schwitz with him.
 * Logan: They don't pay me enough.

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 * [Reinhardt is shirtless, being inspected by Rodgers while Barek and Logan watch.]
 * Reinhardt: I'm warning you, doctor, if you faint, I'm not responsible.
 * Rodgers: I'll try to control myself. By the way, your production of Aida five years ago? One of the best nights of my life.
 * [Rodgers looks at Logan.]
 * Rodgers: Lennie Briscoe took me.

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 * Lawyer: Enough with the Vulcan mind meld.

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 * [Logan and Barek are listening to Gillian Boothe crying and sobbing after she has confessed to killing her daughter, only to have Reinhardt abandon her.]
 * Logan: Do you suppose any of those tears are for her daughter? [Barek says nothing] Yeah, me neither.

Vacancy [5.17] [G/E]

 * [Goren and Eames investigate a bridesmaid's murder]

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 * Goren: This search for the truth, it's... it's not for the faint-hearted.

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 * Goren: [about Lester Summerhill's photo gallery] Half-naked women and animal carnage. It suggests violence against women without actually showing it.

The Healer [5.18] [L/B]

 * [Detectives investigate claims of voodoo when two sisters are found wrapped in plastic cocoons and asphyxiated.]

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 * Robbie: How do you know those girls? Are they pros?
 * Jack: No. Thanks to Dr. Dre and Fat Joe, chicks dig fat guys.

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 * Logan: These girls have boyfriends?
 * Detective: Super says no. They were nice, quiet girls.
 * Logan: Well, they are now.

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 * Barek: Her area of research is death?
 * Professor: It's how people use magical thinking to deal with the uncertainties of death.
 * Barek: Magical thinking. So you can control events with your thoughts.
 * Professor: Or with ritualistic behavior.
 * Logan: Like crossing yourself when you pass a hearse.
 * [Barek flips through a notebook.]
 * Barek: She's got that one here along with getting your throat blessed so you don't choke on a fish bone.
 * Logan: That doesn't work?

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 * Barek: There is ash on their forehead.
 * Rodgers: Frankincense. And almond oil on their lips.
 * Barek: Some kind of Last Rites?
 * Rodgers: A killer worried about their afterlife?
 * Logan: He should've worried about his own.

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 * [Logan sits down next to an old woman in a clinic.]
 * Logan: Hi.
 * Grace: Hi.
 * Logan: I just thought you should know you've got seeds falling out of your pocket.
 * Grace: Oh!
 * Logan: Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. What you got in there?
 * [Grace shows him what's inside the brown paper bag on her lap.]
 * Logan: A parakeet!
 * Grace: I saw him at the pet shop on the way here. And there was something so familiar about him.
 * Logan: Familiar?
 * [Grace peers into the bag.]
 * Grace: I think it's my late husband.
 * [Logan stares at her.]
 * Grace: Oh, it's a young bird and doesn't know how to talk yet, so I don't know for sure.

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 * Logan: She keeps taking money out every week until December. And the same thing happens. She stops paying, she gets sicker.
 * Barek: Here again, in February, when she starts paying again, she gets better.
 * Deakins: Someone's playing her health like a yo-yo to get money out of her.
 * Logan: Must be a trick you learn in nursing school.

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 * [Logan and Barek sit in a car, watching crowds file up and down a residential staircase.]
 * Logan: Lot of foot traffic. What do you think, a bake sale?

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 * Capt. Deakins: Put the bloodhounds on her.

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 * Logan: Barek. What's with you and the voodoo stuff?
 * Barek: I respect it. Same as any religion. They have a supreme God, and spirits that they can negotiate with. It's like my mother praying to the Virgin Mary for a girl, or my father praying to Saint Joseph for a job.
 * Logan: I didn't say I believe in that either.
 * Barek: Yeah, but still, my mother had me, and my father put three kids through school.
 * Logan: But voodoo?
 * Barek: If white people believed in voodoo, it wouldn't have the stigma it has.

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 * Rodgers: You alright, detective?
 * Logan: Hm? Yeah. I got a rash.
 * Rodgers: You mind if I look?
 * Logan: Go ahead.
 * [Logan's arm is covered with welts.]
 * Rodgers: It might be impetigo.
 * [She checks his forehead.]
 * Rodgers: You feel feverish. You want, I could examine you.
 * Logan: Yeah, well, maybe when I'm dead.

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 * [Barek watches Logan scratch his arm.]
 * Logan: God....
 * Barek: You seen a doctor yet?
 * Logan: Yeah, those jokers at the HMO. They tossed a coin, heads it was Lyme disease, tails it was shingles.
 * Barek: It started right after we saw Lydia. She warned you.
 * Logan: Ooooh. A spell. Listen. What I don't believe, won't hurt me.

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 * Barek: Professor, you sound like you're afraid of her. You lost about 20 pounds since these pictures. Were you sick?
 * Lydia's ex-husband: I caught some bug, traveling in India.
 * Barek: Was that around the time that Lydia left? What'd she do to you?
 * Lydia's ex-husband: Who knows. Look, they ran tests ... all I know is that I had a rash, I started sleeping 20 hours a day, I couldn't wake up. That's when Lydia left.
 * [Logan looks up.]
 * Barek: A rash. That's how it started
 * Ex: Yes
 * Barek: Red blotches, maybe a fever.
 * Ex: Yes. Why?
 * ''[Barek and Logan exchange glances.]

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 * Logan: It's a fluke.
 * Barek: Mike, you need to see a specialist. I know just the person you need to see.
 * [Cut to next scene, home of voodoo priestess.]

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 * [Mama Louise hands Logan a small vial for treatment.]
 * Logan: That's not ground-up toadstools, is it?
 * Mama Louise: Is calamine lotion.

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 * Mama Louise: She has no power of her own. Just tricks. She has to use his belief in her to control him.
 * Logan: So much for voodoo magic.
 * Mama Louise: Is like any other religion, detective. The magic is in the believers' faith.

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 * Carver: Pufferfish. Curiouser and curiouser.

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 * Barek: I'm sorry, the warrant's good for any non-traditional medicines or supplements.
 * Teddy: No, I need them.
 * Robbie: Look, just leave him alone. He's an old man.
 * [Robbie reaches for the bag of herbs Barek is holding.]
 * Logan: Hey! Hey! You making a move on my partner?
 * Barek: I think he did.
 * Robbie: [Bewildered] No, No, I just--
 * [Logan throws him against the counter and cuffs him.]
 * Logan: You definitely need to be arrested, my friend.

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 * [As both suspects are settled in the interrogation room]
 * Logan: So here we are, the sorcerer and her apprentice.

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 * Logan: C'mon. Here's a little police magic. Shazam, you're under arrest.

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 * Lydia: You think the last time was bad, detective? You just wait.
 * Logan: Well. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you go to jail.
 * [He waves good-bye to Lydia.]

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 * Barek: Faith trumps science. Once again.
 * Logan: Nothing a little calamine lotion can't fix.

Cruise to Nowhere [5.19] [G/E]

 * [A respected professional is found murdered in the East River, his death presumably connected to a series of gambling losses]

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 * Goren: See, we wanna know why Benny Boy jumped because, as you say, he was in a good mood.
 * Costello: Well, do you ever really know what's going on inside a fellow human being?
 * Goren: You mean like, one minute you're talking to a good Samaritan, the next you're charging him with murder?

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 * Goren: [to Joey] You want a regular life? The life that Phil took away from you? It's gonna take a lot of steps to get there. This is the hardest step.

To the Bone [5.20] [L/B]

 * [An investigation into a grisly series of home invasion/murders turns tragic when Logan is forced to shoot an undercover cop.]

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 * Capt. Deakins: You were cleared, Mike. Anybody gives you any crap, they can talk to me.

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 * Logan: What, you goin'?
 * Barek: Yeah. Sleep. Remember?
 * Logan: You live all the way in Brooklyn. My place is right down the street. [Barek looks at him skeptically] I'll take the couch.
 * [Logan grins. Barek looks at him.]
 * Barek: I don't believe you got a couch that big.
 * Logan: Yeah. Maybe not. Forget it.
 * Barek: Go home, Mike. On account you're not in your right head.

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 * Olivet: It's called Post-Traumatic Stress, Mike.
 * Logan: I'm so relieved it has a name.

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 * Logan: It would've been better if he'd shot me.

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 * Olivet: What about your colleagues?
 * Logan: Oh. Well. They're all very supportive.
 * Olivet: What do you want them to do, take a swing at you? Is that why you tried to provoke your partner?
 * Logan: I killed a cop.
 * Olivet: Mike. You have to accept that it's possible to do all the right things and still get a bad result.
 * Logan: How? How do you accept that?

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 * Watkins: Foster care stopped sending me boys. There are so many new rules. I was going broke, I... I forgive you.
 * Logan: What?
 * Watkins: Mother forgives you. Can you forgive her?
 * Logan: I'm sorry, it's not for me to forgive you. You need to tell me what those boys coerced you into.
 * Watkins: You can't forgive your own mother? It's the only way you can be happy. Please.
 * Logan: [pause] Okay. I forgive her.
 * Watkins: You don't mean it. You're just saying it...
 * Logan: I mean it. I've forgiven my mother. Now...
 * Watkins: Now? [suddenly cold] Nothing. Lawyer. When you feel ready to face your colleagues behind there, you know, you tell them I want a lawyer.

On Fire [5.21] [G/E]

 * ''[Taylor is watching car racing on TV and sees a car crash)
 * Taylor: Woo-hoo! Look at that!
 * Goren: You like car races?
 * Taylor: Oh yeah! I got a need for speed! I'm– not that I break the law any more, officer. I got plenty enough tickets to last me a lifetime, but no DUI's. I don't drink. I got an allergy.
 * Goren: Your job. You're always climbing around in those vents, that's dangerous, huh?
 * Taylor: It's fun!
 * Goren: Dangerous and fun.
 * Eames: [deadpan] Woo hoo.

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 * [Goren has implied that Regina Reid seduced her stepson Justin]
 * Reid: You're sick! You're sick! [storms out]
 * Eames: [bored shrug] So we're sick.

The Good [5.22] [L/B]

 * [Logan and Barek investigate a wealthy couple's murder, while a soon-to-retire Deakins looks toward the future]

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 * Randolph: It feels like I have a knife to my ankle... which is weird, because I don't even have an ankle anymore.

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 * Capt. Deakins: I've got two weeks left on the job. I'm having some fun.