Lilo & Stitch: The Series (season 2)

Pilot film | Seasons: 1 2 | Finale film | Main

Spike (Experiment 319) [2.01]

 * [Experiment 319 is activated and fires his quills at Dr. Okra in her behind, causing her to act all goofy]
 * Dr. Okra: Ow! What is that thing?! A mutant porcupine or-or… Uh, buh!
 * Man: Ladies and gentlemen, the smartest person in the world, Dr. Gladys Okra!
 * Dr. Okra: [walks goofily on the stage in front of the audience; singing nonsense] Wee! ♪ The tummy bone's connected to the head bone ♪




 * Moses: Good work, today, class. But before you go, I have a reminder: Tomorrow is the Ohana-rama Trivia Championship. And this year, we have an outstanding grand prize. [hands fliers to Lilo and the hula girls]
 * Mertle: Oh, goody. I get a prize!
 * Lilo: And what makes you think your family's gonna win, Mertle?
 * Mertle: Because we always win.
 * Moses: It's a brand new computer! [the girls squeal in delight] So brush up on your trivia!
 * Lilo: But you already have a computer!
 * Mertle: Three, actually. That's why I'm a child progidy.
 * Teresa: I bet Lilo's not smart enough to even have a computer.
 * Lilo: I have advanced alien technology computers. And then there's my dog. He knows molecular physics!
 * [Stitch dashes away and back, showing his model of DNA strand made of bamboo shoots and coconuts]
 * Stitch: Bark, bark!
 * Mertle: I always knew you were dense, Lilo, but I didn't know you could be outsmarted by a dog.
 * Yuki, Teresa, and Elena: YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!
 * Mertle: But I know one thing for sure: If your family is half as thick as you are, you don't stand a chance at the Ohana-Rama.




 * [Stitch has successfully captured Experiment 319; unfortunately, he was pricked by a quill and is acting goofy]
 * Lilo: Jumba, why aren't you affected by Spike?
 * Pleakley: Spike?
 * Lilo: Experiment 319. I'm calling him Spike.
 * Jumba: Name is all too appropriate. But to answer question, even Jumba's superior alien bottom is not immune to spiky spikes.
 * Lilo: Then how come you're not acting dopey like Stitch?
 * Stitch: La-la-la.... La-la-la...
 * Jumba: Ah, for because Jumba designed Experiment 319 to take normally intelligent planetary population, and increase silly goof factor by 99%, leaving only 1% clever.
 * Lilo: So?
 * Jumba: So, even 1% Jumba brains is super genius. [laughs]




 * [While Lilo teaches Stitch from scratch, Pleakley gathers up Fibber, Bonnie, Clyde, Nosy, Slushy, Yaarp, Splodyhead, and Spike in the living room]
 * Pleakley: It looks like we're all here, so let's begin. Using my extensive Earth expertise, I've adapted Dr. Okra's theories into my very own seminar entitled "Evil Attitude Remodification and Wayward Anger Extraction." Or as I like to call it, E.A.R.W.A.X.! [Nosy groans] We'll begin with Level 1: Sharing. Fibber here will buzz if you don't tell the truth, so please speak openly and honestly. Does anyone have anything they like to share with the group? [the experiments all stare at him in boredom] Anybody?
 * Nosy: Well, I have something, but...
 * Pleakley: Oh, no, no! Please, go on, Nosy. You'll feel much better if you just get it off your chest.
 * Nosy: Okay! His antenna thingy, it isn't really green. [the experiments gasp in shock; Pleakley gives a shocked look on his face]
 * Pleakley: Wait a minute, you...
 * Nosy: Nope! He's going prematurely orange, but dyes it green at night so no one would notice!
 * Pleakley: No, I don't!
 * [Fibber beeps loudly]
 * Nosy: And that's not all: he plucks his unibrow!
 * Pleakley: [clamps Nosy's mouth shut] That's enough! You're supposed to share things about yourself, not other people, especially me!
 * Bonnie: I'll share something about myself: I'm bored! I'm too smart for this stuff!
 * [Fibber beeps again; Bonnie tries to grab him, but Clyde grabs her with his mechanical arm]
 * Clyde: Hey, Bonnie, if you're so smart, how come we ended up in the slammer?
 * Bonnie: Ah, can it, Clyde! It's your fault we got nabbed in the first place!
 * [Fibber beeps again; Clyde laughs while Bonnie angrily raves]




 * [A big fight occurs during Pleakley's E.A.R.W.A.X. session; Pleakley is enraged that nothing went according to plan]
 * Pleakley: THAT'S IT!! DR. OKRA SAYS WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HUGGING AND CRYING!! WE'RE GONNA HUG AND CRY!!!! [Spike turns towards Pleakley] Oh, boy. Me and my big mouth! [dashes away and comes back wearing a suit of armor, much to the dumbfounded expressions of the experiments] I don't think you're evil! I think you're special! You just need a big hug.
 * [Pleakley picks up Spike and hugs him, making him struggle for a moment before breaking down and sobbing; the other experiment shed tears and "aw" in response]
 * Bonnie: [tearfully] I'm sorry, Clyde.
 * Clyde: I'm sorry, Bonnie. [they both hug; Slushy and Splodyhead do the same]
 * Nosy: I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry!
 * [Fibber beeps loudly and Nosy sobs]




 * [Lilo, Jumba and Pleakley compete against Mertle, her mom, and her aunt in the Ohana-rama]
 * Moses: True or false: There is firm evidence of aliens from other planets visiting Earth.
 * Lilo: [gasps] True! [Yaarp adds 10 points to the Pelekai's score chart]
 * Moses: I'm sorry that's incorrect. [Yaarp reluctantly takes the ten points away] Edmonds?
 * Mertle: False! Only Weirdlo's weird enough to believe in aliens!




 * [Lilo finds out that Mertle is cheating by making Teresa look up the answers; she makes Spike hug Teresa to make her too goofy to help Mertle]
 * Lilo: Come on, Stitch. No one's supposed to be back here. [sees Teresa typing her laptop]
 * Teresa: Moses hasn't asked a science question in a while, so I'll keep that page open.
 * [Lilo looks at Mertle, seeing an earpiece in her ear, up close]
 * Mertle: [responding] Good. Just be ready to tell me the answers.
 * Lilo: Mertle's cheating! No wonder she seems so smart. [looks at Spike and an idea pops in her head as she smirks] Poor Teresa. Having to do slave work for Mertle. I bet she could use a hug.
 * [Spike runs up and pokes his quills in Teresa while hugging her, making her all goofy]
 * Teresa: [screams] Get off me! Buh!
 * Lilo: Come on, Stitch. I think we can handle Mertle now.
 * Moses: Mertle, this next question is for you. Complete this phrase: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite... blank."
 * Mertle: Oh, a science question. That's easy. For every action, there is an equal and opposite...
 * Teresa: [goofily] Bucket of monkeys!
 * Mertle: Bucket of monkeys. [the audience bursts out, laughing] That's not what I meant! I meant...
 * Moses: I'm sorry. That's incorrect. Lilo's team?
 * Jumba: Considering multidimensional pull of deltarian antimatter-
 * Lilo: Reaction!
 * Moses: That's correct.
 * [Yaarp honks and adds 10 points to Lilo's team]
 * Jumba: Hmm. Is highly oversimplified.
 * Mertle: [enraged] THAT'S NOT FAIR!
 * Aunt Stacy: Oh, be quiet, Maureen.
 * Mertle: [pulls her aunt by the shirt] My name is Mertle! [gets back in her seat]
 * Mrs. Edmonds: Maybe Aunt Stacy and I should answer some questions now, dear.
 * Mertle: No! It won't happen again! It better not!




 * [Moses volunteers two players to compete in the lightning round and Lilo faces off against Mertle and wins the championship]
 * Mertle: Weirdlo? I'm playing against you? This is gonna be easier than I thought.
 * Lilo: You don't scare me, Mertle.
 * Moses: Are you ready, girls? First question. Where is the Eiffel Tower located?
 * Teresa: In the bathroom.
 * Mertle: In the bathroom.
 * Lilo: Paris, France.
 * Moses: 10 points for Lilo. What did Neil Armstrong say when he landed on the moon?
 * Mertle: "Tastes like chicken."
 * Lilo: "This is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
 * Moses: Correct! How many feet are in a mile?
 * Mertle: Bundt cake!
 * Lilo: 5,280!
 * Moses: Who wrote Hamlet?
 * Mertle: Chauncey Pickles!
 * Lilo: William Shakespeare!
 * Moses: [as Mertle agitatedly twitches her left eye] And the score is tied.
 * Teresa: I like pickles!
 * [Mertle takes off the earpiece, throws it on the ground and stomps her foot on it in anger]
 * Moses: This is your final question. What is the Hawaiian word for "friendship?"
 * Mertle: [speechless] What kind of question is that? I don't know anything about friendship.
 * Lilo: That's easy. Pilialoha!
 * Moses: That's correct. Lilo's team wins!
 * [The audience cheers and applauds]
 * Mertle: No fair! That was a dumb question.
 * Lilo: Just because you didn't know it doesn't mean it was dumb, Mertle.
 * Moses: Congratulations, Lilo. Your family wins the new computer and encyclopedias on DVD.
 * Mertle: [leaves with her mom and Aunt Stacy; furious] I can't believe we lost! This is the WORST day of my life! [Spike overhears her and rushes over to hug her, pricking his quills in her butt] Stop hugging me! Ouch! Hey, that you--uh, [acts all goofy] Duh!

Frenchfry (Experiment 062) [2.02]

 * Nani: Hurry up! Time for breakfast!
 * [Lilo and Stitch yawn and rub their eyes]
 * Lilo: Uh-oh! Where's Pleakley?
 * Nani: He had to drop Jumba off at the airport.
 * Lilo: [shoves her spoon into her bowl of oatmeal] This is food?! [twangs her spoon]
 * Nani: It's oatmeal, very healthy.
 * [Stitch drops the whole bowl of oatmeal into his mouth, but immediately spits it out]
 * Lilo: Where's the chocolate frosting? Or the marshmallows in the shape of robots?
 * Nani: Marshmallow robots are not part of a nutritious breakfast.
 * Lilo: Pleakley lets me eat chocolate macadamia nut Candy Crunch for breakfast!
 * Nani: Lilo, I don't have time for this! I have to go to work!
 * Lilo: Well, I don't have time to eat yucky food. [she and Stitch push their oatmeal away] Life is too short.
 * Nani: Here. Put a little honey on top. [Lilo takes the squeeze cap off the bottle and pours the honey into her bowl] I said a little! [swipes the bottle]
 * Lilo: My sensitive taste buds need to be excited to work right!
 * Nani: Please!
 * Lilo: I can't wait 'till Pleakley gets back tomorrow. He lets me eat junk.
 * Nani: Pleakley....!


 * [Pleakley returns home; Nani is still cooking]
 * Pleakley: Sorry I'm late, but that airport had great shopping! [gasps] What are you doing in my kitchen?! It looks is if you're... cooking!
 * Nani: Look, Pleakley, I appreciate you helping take care of Lilo, but she's been eating too much junkfood!
 * Pleakley: Junk?! I beg to differ! Lilo eats only the finest and most expensive breakfasts on the market, like sugar-frosted Pineapple Pops! Coco Nutty Sugar Roll-Ups! Choco-Maca Candybar Crunch! Just look at the faces of the happy healthy children on the box!
 * Nani: All of that stuff is junk! Lilo's a growing little girl, she needs to eat right. So, from now on, I'm making her nutritious meals in advance and leaving them in the freezer. All you have to do is make sure she eats them.
 * Pleakley: From now on, we're all eating healthy!
 * [a few minutes later]
 * Lilo: I won't eat it!
 * Stitch: Naga!
 * Pleakley: But you have to eat it! It's so delicious and nutritious!


 * Nani: What's that noise?
 * Pleakley: Er, well...
 * [Nani shows something on Pleakley's head from inside his hat.]
 * Nani: Potato chips?!


 * Lilo: This is getting serious, Stitch. We're gonna have to do something before we all starve.
 * Stitch: Hmm. [opens the drawer and takes out an experiment pod] Ha ha!
 * Lilo: An experiment pod?
 * Pleakley: Huh. Guess he had his own stash.
 * Lilo: I wonder what it does. [looks up Experiment 062 on Jumba's computer] "Experiment 062. Primary function: prepare delectable and irresistible meals." [gasps] It's perfect!


 * [after Nani forbids junkfood, Lilo, Stitch and Pleakley activate Experiment 062 who cooks them a gigantic meal of burgers, fries, pizzas, and ice cream]
 * Frenchfry: Bon appetit!
 * Lilo: Wow! He speaks French!
 * Pleakley: Food! Glorious food!
 * Stitch: Deep fried!
 * Lilo: Let's eat!
 * [the trio begins to chow down on the food; unbeknownst to them, they rapidly gain weight]
 * Lilo: These are the best french fries ever! I'm gonna call you Frenchfry!


 * [Gantu groans]
 * 625: Hey, sport, why the long face? [Gantu sighs sadly] I know what's wrong. You though I forgot.
 * Gantu: About what?
 * 625: About your birthday! [places a candle on a giant sandwich stack]
 * Gantu: It is not my birthday!
 * 625: Ah, come on now. Don't be shy! I promise not to make fun of your age, or your lack of accomplishments.
 * Computer: Experiment 062 activated. Primary function: prepare delectable and irresistible meals.
 * 625: Or how few experiments you've captured! Uh-uh! Not today!
 * Gantu: [grabs a container and his plasma gun] Thanks. I appreciate that.
 * 625: Oh, now don't go away mad! Not on your special day!


 * [Lilo and Stitch have become large and fat after eating so much of Frenchfry's food]
 * Lilo: Pleakley! It's not sun spots making us puffy! It's Frenchfry!
 * Pleakley: [deep voice] Go away.
 * Lilo: Pleakley, what's wrong with your voice?
 * Pleakley: Please go away.
 * Lilo: I'm coming in! [tries to open the door, but it's locked; Stitch yanks the door out and gets squished by a giant yellow mass, which is Pleakley’s stomach]
 * Pleakley: I told you to go away!
 * Lilo: Pleakley?! What happened?
 * Pleakley: It's some type of allergy to that little monster's delicious food!
 * Frenchfry: Bon appetit! [pulls out a bunch of corn dogs]
 * Pleakey: Oh, no! Not the corn dogs! I can't resist the corn dogs! [grabs the corn dogs and eats them]


 * [Lilo and Stitch have become immensely fat after hours of eating Frenchfry’s meals. Lilo is snacking on cake and her belly is hanging off her chair. She calls Jumba during a convention]
 * Lilo: Jumba? It's Lilo again. Look, I'm sorry, but this is really, really important.
 * Jumba: Very well. Make it quick please.
 * Lilo: It's about Experiment 062. I know he was designed to be your personal chef, but something went wrong. You have to tell me what happened.
 * Jumba: Tell me you did not reactivate Experiment 062.
 * Lilo: Well...
 * Jumba: Listen to me! Is very important to resist eating experiment's meals.
 * Lilo: Why?
 * Jumba: Because... once you are properly fattened up, he will try to eat you!
 * Lilo: [gasps in shock] Jumba? Hello? I don't think I heard that right. It sounded like you said that 062 would try to eat me. Hello? Hello? [gasps when she sees that Frenchfry has cut the phone's cord]


 * Moses: Aloha, Nani.
 * Nani: Oh, aloha, Kumu. You here on a date?
 * Moses: Well… yeah.
 * Nani: So, how's hula class?
 * Moses: Okay… except Lilo rolled over Mertle Edmonds and her friends today and knocked them over.
 * Nani: She… rolled?
 * Moses: Like a bowling ball. Has she been eating okay? 'Cause she's about this big.
 * Nani: Even junk food can't do that. [picks up a phone]


 * [Nani successfully captures Frenchfry and saves Lilo and Stitch's lives]
 * Lilo: You saved us! You're a super hero!
 * Nani: That's because I eat a nutritious breakfast every morning. You should try it some time.
 * Lilo: Well... okay, but almost getting eaten has made me pretty tired. Can you roll me to bed?
 * Nani: You got it.

<hr with="50%">
 * [Gantu has become bloated after eating a cake made by Frenchfry]
 * 625: Hey, sport, ya in there?
 * Gantu: Go away!
 * 625: Listen, I know I was a little mean to you, and your birthday, no less, so I'm here to make it up to ya.
 * Gantu: I told you to go away!
 * 625: Ya see, I figure you're sad because you're trapped on an alien planet so far from home, right? So I made some phone calls...
 * Gantu: [opens the door] What are you blabbing about?
 * 625: Uh-huh, and I invited your college buddies to come for a visit!
 * Gantu: No!
 * Gantu's College Friends: SURPRISE!!!
 * 625: Happy Birthday, G!
 * College Friend: Whoa! He really let himself go!
 * Gantu: How many times do I have to tell you?! IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!!

Swapper (Experiment 355) [2.03]

 * Victoria: I'd like some lemonade please.
 * Lilo: Uh... one glass of lemonade coming right up. Stitch? [Stitch jumps out of the lemonade bowl and starts changing color] I'm sorry. My dog drank all the lemonade.
 * [Stitch turns orange]
 * Victoria: Oh, he's turning my favorite color!
 * Lilo: Hey, orange is my favorite color, too!
 * Victoria: Really? Most girls like pink.
 * Lilo: I hate pink.
 * Victoria: Me too!
 * [at that moment, Stitch turns pink, making the girls laugh]
 * Victoria: My name's Victoria.
 * Lilo: I have to stop talking to you now.
 * Victoria: Why?
 * Lilo: 'Cause after your vacation, you'll just leave with your family like all the others. So, even though I take pictures of tourists, I don't see them socially. It's a defense mechanism.
 * Victoria: But I'm not a tourist. I just moved here.
 * Lilo: Moved? Okay, I can talk to you. I'm Lilo.
 * Victoria: Hi, Lilo. So... do you take hula?
 * Lilo: Are you kidding? Hula is my life!
 * Victoria: I'm starting hula class tomorrow. Maybe I'll see you there.
 * Lilo: Oh, you will.
 * Stitch: Ih!
 * Victoria: Okay, well, bye... I mean, aloha.

<hr width="50%">
 * [Experiment 355 escapes just before Gantu can transport him to Hämsterviel and swaps their minds via eye beam]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Why didn't I just fire you and--?! And... What is going on here? I'm so large and rubbery!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Ugh! A big fluffy rat! Wait, no... THAT'S ME!!
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: You mean, I have become you?!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: And you've become me! [sneezes loudly]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Why are you making such annoying noises?!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: [begins scratching so hard that his fur sheds] Apparently, I'm allergic to your dandruff, sir. [sneezes again] But not to worry. I'm sure the experiment will swap us back to our normal bodies.
 * [Swapper escapes the ship via elevator]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: NO! Come back here! [tries to press the buttons] Buttons too tiny! Oh! How do you do anything with these flabby sloth-like appendages?!
 * [Swapper escapes into the forest]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Once again, I am forced to pay for your incompetence! Now I must go and capture that experiment myself!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Yes, sir. Then you can swap us back?
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Yes, or maybe... NO! For me, that would be going back to prison!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Yes, I suppose it... [sneezes] would.
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: [laughs maniacally] I'm free at last!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: But, sir, that's not fair!
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: WHO CARE'S ABOUT FAIR?!

<hr width="50%">
 * [Lilo is hurt after Mertle told Victoria that she's weird]
 * Pleakley: Lilo, you haven't eaten a thing. And I made your favorite: Chocolate Green Bean Surprise!
 * Jumba: There is hardly any radioactivity this time.
 * Pleakley: You did it! Not again!
 * Jumba: Ah, relax! I'm joking! Mostly...
 * Pleakley: Well, Lilo didn't think it was funny, and I didn't, either!
 * Jumba: Please! Little girl is sad because you managed to ruin perfectly good chocolate with disgusting green beanses.
 * Lilo: I'm not sad because of the food. I'm sad because I almost made a friend that doesn't think I'm weird, and Mertle ruined it.
 * Pleakley: Whoo! Thank goodness! I thought it was something serious, like my green bean recipe! Uh... I mean, you almost made a friend today? That's nice.
 * Lilo: Everybody thinks I'm weird. Mertle, and Yuki, Teresa, and Elena. I thought maybe Victoria thought I was normal and be my friend.
 * Pleakley: It's never too late to make a friend. You just need to reach out to her, and show her you can be a friend right back.
 * Lilo: I guess I can throw a welcome party for her.
 * Pleakley: Did you say party?! I'm all about parties! What's the theme?
 * Lilo: I've got a theme: Lilo's Not Weird.
 * Pleakley: Hmm, "Lilo's Not Weird". I'm not sure that's a good theme, because objectively, you are pretty... [Lilo glares at him] Pretty! You are so pretty! Oh, so pretty, and witty! So, "Lilo's Not Weird" is the theme then. I have some great non-weird recipes. Oh! And we can supplies from the exciting new super store just outside of town. They have incredible party platters with incredible prices!
 * Lilo: It's official! We're throwing a party!
 * Stitch: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

<hr width="50%">
 * [while running errand's for Victoria's party, Lilo and Stitch find capture Swapper, who swaps their bodies shortly afterward]
 * Lilo/Stitch: What happened? How come I'm you?
 * Stitch/Lilo: Cousin!
 * Lilo/Stitch: But... I can't be you for the party! That would be so not normal! Make him swap us back, Stitch.
 * Stitch/Lilo: [stands up Swapper's container] Ahem. Kemike twan toka?
 * [Swapper blows a raspberry at Stitch, infuriating him to punch the container; unfortunately, since Lilo's body isn't as strong as Stitch's, the only thing that occurred was Stitch's hand hurting]
 * Stitch/Lilo: [holding right hand] Ow, aw, ooh!
 * Lilo/Stitch: Stitch, you can't try to break stuff when you're me. I'm not built for mayhem and destruction. We gotta talk to Jumba. But... if we go back now, we won't have time to shop for the party. We're gonna have to split up to do our chores.
 * Stitch/Lilo: Oh.... Okeetaka!

<hr width="50%">
 * [after failing to buy the party platters, Lilo checks on Stitch at the beauty parlor]
 * Lilo/Stitch: Stitch, the theme of the party is "Lilo's Not Weird". I can't show up with that hair, because that hair is weird. [points to Stitch's hairstyle, which is a wild blue Mohawk]
 * Stitch/Lilo: Sorry. All my fault.
 * Lilo/Stitch: It's okay. I'll just wear a hat and serve peanut butter and jelly because there's no party platter. Just as long as we get our own bodies back.

<hr width="50%">
 * [Lilo and Stitch return home with Swapper]
 * Jumba: Well, well, well! Experiment 355, we meet again.
 * [Swapper's eyes glow, but Jumba quickly covers the container with a towel]
 * Jumba: Uh, uh, uh! None of your tricky trickiness with Jumba. Jumba likes evil genius brain.
 * Lilo/Stitch: We kinda figured out what his power is. He's a brain-swapper, right?
 * Jumba: He once swapped me and wife for an entire month.
 * Lilo/Stitch: You must've learned a lot about each other.
 * Jumba: Oh, yeah. Now she's ex-wife. [chuckles] Long story, don't ask.
 * Lilo/Stitch: We've gotta get him to swap us back.
 * Jumba: 355 will swap you back when he is good and ready. Has mind of his own. [laughs] "Mind of his own." Is funny, no?

<hr width="50%">
 * [Pleakley lifts the towel covering Swapper's container, causing him to swap Jumba and Pleakley's minds]
 * Pleakley/Jumba: Oh, no! I've been zapped into an alternate dimension! A place where the laws of time and space are topsy-turvy!
 * Jumba/Pleakley: Don't be ridiculous! Our minds have been swapped. You are seeing world through my infinite superior eyes.
 * Pleakley/Jumba: Superior?! But the world looks so... weird! And to tell you the truth, tubby!
 * Jumba/Pleakley: Ah! At least I can see difference between near and far. [slips and falls] Stupid single eye!

<hr width="50%">
 * [Hämsterviel is sitting at a sidewalk]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Oh, this is inconceivable! I am Doctor Jacques Von Hämsterviel! How is it that I cannot find one stupid little experiment?!
 * Man: [hands Hämsterviel a few dollars] Here ya, fella. Chin up, big guy! I'm sure it'll get better.
 * [Hämsterviel growls with rage and contacts Gantu via cell phone]
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Hello?
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: It is I!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: I knew you'd call.
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Oh, alright, I admit it! It isn't easy being so big and clumsy! There! Are you happy now?!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: Getting there. What do you want?
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: I want to know where we can find that stupid experiment so we can swap bodies again!
 * Gantu/Hämsterviel: I know just the place you should check. [sneezes and wipes his nose]

<hr width="50%">
 * [Mertle and the other girls leave but Victoria stays because she's having fun; Hämsterviel lifts the roof of the house]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Greetings, Earthling pack people! I have come for the experiment known as 355!
 * Victoria: Whoa!
 * Stitch/Lilo: Meega nala kweesta!
 * Jumba/Pleakley: Ah, new roof hinge system I installed working perfectly! Keeps repair bills down.
 * Pleakley/Jumba: Very thoughtful!

<hr width="50%">
 * [After Swapper swaps Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley's minds…]
 * Lilo/Jumba: Okay. Now who am I?
 * Jumba/Stitch: You are me, and I am 626.
 * Pleakley/Lilo: Ah, this is much better!

<hr width="50%">
 * [after defeating Hämsterviel and returning to their original bodies, Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley stand outside]
 * Hämsterviel/Gantu: Please, put me back in my own body! PUT ME BACK IN PRISON!!
 * Lilo: If you insist. Stitch, would you do the honors? After 355 swaps him back, we'll find his one true place.
 * Jumba: That 355 will not swap back willy-nilly. Must be properly motivated.
 * Stitch: Ih! [cracks his knuckles]
 * Pleakley: Wait a minute! Why not try a little positive assentive? Like offering the little guy some of my delicious cuisine as a reward?
 * Jumba: Ah, excellent idea. If 355 does not swap Hämsterviel and Gantu, he will be given nothing to eat except Aunt Pleakley's famous Chocolate Green Beanses Surprise.
 * [Swapper quivers in fear]
 * Pleakley: Must you twist everything?!

Shoe (Experiment 113) [2.04]

 * Computer: Experiment 113 activated. Primary function: negative event generator.
 * 625: Sounds like this one makes bad luck.
 * Gantu: Bad luck, eh? [chuckles] I smell a big bonus.
 * Hämsterviel: Yes, you do smell, Gantu. BUT NOT A BIG BONUS!! A bad luck experiment?! Ha! You're about as funny as you are useful, which is not at all. Don't be a waster of my time, you time-wasting waster!
 * Gantu: But, sir, I thought you wanted all the experiments.
 * Hämsterviel: "But, sir, I thought..." BLAH!! I am sick of your attitude, you squinty-eyed trout face! Only contact me if you find something TRULY DESTRUCTIVE!!!!
 * [Gantu growls in rage]
 * 625: Whoa, whoa! Wait a second! Look at this!
 * Gantu: Quiet! I do not want to here anything more about 113!
 * 625: But--
 * Gantu: But nothing! Go make a sandwich!
 * 625: Well, gee, you don't have to be a jerk about it!
 * Gantu: Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, trog?!
 * 625: Look, I'm trying to tell ya that--
 * Gantu: I'm not listening! Na, na, na-na-na-na!
 * 625: Okay. Have it your way, trout face!

<hr width="50%">


 * [Lilo gets the idea from Mertle to make a bed and breakfast in order to help Nani cover the bills]
 * Pleakley: You wanna do what with our smelly old rundown spaceship?
 * Lilo: Make it a bed and breakfast.
 * Jumba: Ridiculous!
 * Pleakley: Absolutely not!
 * Lilo: I was thinking about calling it "Jumba and Pleakley's Bed and Breakfast".
 * Jumba: I'm all for it!
 * Pleakley: Let's get started!

<hr width="50%">


 * [Because of Shoe bringing bad luck, the bed and breakfast is having no customers and Nani's cars is repossessed; Jumba finds Shoe]
 * Jumba: Staying back! Is Experiment 113. Designed for making very very bad luck!
 * [Shoe's horns flash, causing the kitchen faucet to go haywire and many things on the shelves to fall off]
 * Jumba: Eh, I think. Must make check of original design. All I remembering is of the exact moment I invented 113, my laboratory, for no reason, go "KA-BOOM!"
 * Pleakley: When didn't your lab go "ka-boom"?
 * Jumba: Yes, but 113's was specially unlucky. Ka-Boom insurance have just ran out!
 * Lilo: He doesn't look so bad.
 * Stitch: Eesa Okeetaka!
 * Lilo: Careful, Stitch!
 * [Stitch comes up to Shoe and waves at him; Shoe waves back, and his horns flash causing the kitchen lamp to fall on Stitch; Shoe's horns flash again, and the fridge opens and collapses]
 * Pleakley: It's true! It is bad luck!
 * Lilo: What? That could've just been an accident.
 * Pleakley: Really?! [opens the freezer] The fridge just happens to break the same day I bought the 96 count box of ice cream sandwiches!

<hr width="50%">


 * [after overhearing Lilo's conversation with Pleakley, Shoe has his feelings hurt and leaves through the window]
 * Jumba: Little girl, good news! I found something in original evil genius notes.
 * Lilo: It's too late. Shoe heard me talking and ran away.
 * Jumba: Ooh, but we must be finding him. 113's power can be reversed to be exact opposite.
 * Lilo: [excited] Shoe's bad luck can become good luck?
 * Jumba: Yes! Simple adjusting of cranial horseshoe from down to up equals JACKPOT!!! [laughs] Like winning lottery and collecting sweepstakes, and free soda on return visit all at once.
 * Lilo: Jumba, you're a genius!
 * Jumba: Please.

<hr width="50%">


 * 625: [sees the large storm cloud on the weather map] Ah, look at that storm. Must be that good luck experiment, huh?
 * Gantu: Good luck? But the computer said it was bad luck!
 * 625: It is, but you can switch to good luck.
 * Gantu: Why didn't you say so before?!
 * 625: [chuckles and pulls out a tape recorder] Caught it all on tape.
 * Gantu on Recording: Quiet! I do not want to hear anything more about 113!
 * Gantu: But...
 * Gantu on Recording: But nothing! Go make a sandwich!
 * Gantu: You can't talk to me like that!
 * Gantu on Recording: Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, trog?!
 * Gantu: [aims his plasma gun at the recorder] INSOLENT DEVICE!! SILENCE!!
 * Gantu on Recording: I'm not listening! Na, na, na-na-na! [Gantu destroys the recorder]
 * 625: Wow. Whoever said "fish is brain food" never met you. Oh, and you're buying me a new tape recorder.

<hr width="50%">


 * [there's a huge line at the bed and breakfast]
 * Pleakley: Wow! My new ad did even better than the previous one! Alright, everybody, alphabetical order please! Quickly!
 * Old Man: Hey, we've been waiting long enough! You're ad says you're giving away free gold!
 * Lady: Each guest gets their weight in free gold!
 * Pleakley: Oh, that? That's just a little ad campaign I came up with. Silly people! I'm not really giving away gold! That would be ridiculous! I mean, come on! How gullible can you be? Each guest get their weight in free gold? Like that's gonna happen! Boy, you Earth people will believe anything in print! Well, the real reward here is that you get to give me money! To stay in this lovely bed and not breakfast! I'm not gonna give you guys anything! Nada! Nill! Zilch! So, line up, Mr. Sucker and Mrs. Patsy, and make your reservation! [everyone glares at them angrily] Uh... I've got ice cream sandwiches... in the freezer.
 * Old Man: GET HIM!!!
 * [the crowd angrily chases Pleakley]

Slick (Experiment 020) [2.05]

 * [Stitch spies on Lilo's hula class from the doorway]
 * Moses: Good hula class, keiki. But before you go, it's time to start thinking about ideas for our annual fundraiser.
 * Lilo: I have one! Okay, what does this island need more than anything?
 * Mertle: Less weirdos?
 * Lilo: Vampires! People love vampires! And they pay good money for them to come to their luaus, weddings, and office parties. So we put on fangs, and people pay us a dollar to chase them! [pause] Or how about this? Book sale! We all write a super scary vampire book, and we each sell one million copies!
 * Mertle: Ew! Girls, what smells?! Oh, it's Lilo's ideas!
 * [Yuki, Teresa and Elena laugh; Lilo charges at Mertle, but Moses holds her back]
 * Moses: Does anyone else have an idea?
 * Lilo: But I didn't get to the part where we all star in the movie version!
 * Mertle: How about selling candy bars?
 * [all the other hula girls clamor in agreement]
 * Lilo: Vampire candy bars?
 * [everyone stares at Lilo]

<hr width="50%">
 * [after failing to even sell one candy bar, Lilo and Stitch pass by an unfamiliar character]
 * Lilo: You don't wanna buy a candy bar from a loser, and I don't blame you.
 * Slick: Tsk, tsk, little lady! Never walk away from a customer! Be proud of your product!
 * Lilo: It's just candy bars.
 * Slick: Just candy bars? Was the Louisiana Purchase just Louisiana? Look, I usually only do this for friends, but you, my friend, need some pointers. Your cost is one dime for every dollar you sell! Deal?
 * Lilo: Who are you?
 * Slick: My card. [hands Lilo and Stitch two business cards]
 * Lilo: "Evil Genius Experiment #020. Primary function: salesman."
 * Stitch: [gasps] Cousin! [hugs Slick]
 * Slick: Yes sir, one of Jumba's best! He always hated the business end of the evil genius gig, so he designed me! Programmed to sell anything to anyone! A piece of code he obviously left out of you, pal. [chuckles] You gotta learn your four P's: Product, Pitch, Persistence, and Payment! Memorize it, exercise it!

<hr width="50%">
 * [after selling a lot of candy bars thanks to Slick, Lilo and Stitch return home]
 * Lilo: Slick helped me sell two whole boxes this morning!
 * Jumba: Be careful! Once 020 starts selling, he does not start stopping. Once sold Jumba's wife for 10 Kelticredits.
 * Lilo: That is evil!
 * Jumba: But smart. She was only worth 5.

<hr width="50%">
 * Hämsterviel: GANTU!!! Is this what I pay you for?! What do I pay you for? GET UP, GET UP, GET UUUPPPP!!!
 * Gantu: I told you, I have a cold! [sneezes so hard that it blows 625 to the wall]
 * Hämsterviel: I do not pay you many hundreds of my valuable dollars to lay around like a lounging lounger!
 * 625: [looks at the thermometer] Wow! What a fever! Hey, Hammy, we're gonna need some tarter sauce! Fish-stick here is burning up!
 * Hämsterviel: UNACCEPTABLE!!! If you do not find me one experiment today, I will go to wring you hour on the hour until you do! [turns off transmission]
 * Gantu: 625, see if you can find any of your trog brethren! Oh, and can you make me a chicken soup sandwich?

<hr width="50%">
 * [Nani is stressed out after Slick sells everything in the house]
 * Pleakley: Don't be such a gloomy gus, Nani. He made us all this money! It was fascinating! It was fascinating! I even took notes of each item sold, to whom and for how much: a porcelain dish...
 * Nani: [gasps] Grandma's dish?!
 * Pleakley: A collection of seashells...
 * Nani: My seashells!
 * Pleakley: A photograph of an odd-looking girl with braces...
 * Nani: [angry] My eighth grade picture!

<hr width="50%">
 * [Mertle has one the fundraising competition and wins the year supply of shave ice]
 * Loki: You sure you want another one, Mertle?
 * Mertle: Yes!
 * Yuki: But you had 17 already.
 * Mertle: [lying on a bench overweight] I won a year supply! No limit! I'm gonna eat more shave ice than anybody ever! Even if it makes me... [a shave ice lands in her mouth, making her groan] ...sick. [her face turns greens and she dashes away]
 * Loki: You kids know your friend is a little too competitive, right?
 * Yuki, Teresa, and Elena: YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

Skip (Experiment 089) [2.06]

 * Warden: Dr. Hamsterwheel?
 * Hämsterviel: It's Hamsterviel! Viel! Like the delicious meat steak, you bureaucratic prisoning person!
 * Warden: But here it's spelled "Hamsterwheel".
 * Hämsterviel: NO, NO!!! GET IT RIGHT!!! CHANGE IT!!! CHANGE IT!!!
 * Warden: Very well. Dr. Hämsterviel. The parole board has looked over your fines.
 * Hämsterviel: And you are releasing me from this stinking prison so I may rise up against you and take over the universe?!
 * Warden: No! Actually, we're doubling your sentence, cutting your TV time in half, and removing the free popcorn cart from the breakroom.
 * Hämsterviel: WHAT?!
 * Warden: Oh, and hears a note: "Hope you're enjoying prison. Don't expect to get out anytime soon. Ha, ha, ha. Regards. Parole board."

<hr width="50%">


 * [After being tired of her childhood restrictions, Lilo uses Skip to transport her and Stitch ten years into the future, where's she's a teenager]
 * Teenage Lilo: [examining her new body] Holy cannoli! That's... not my voice! Hello! Testing! 1, 2, 3! My name is Lilo, and I'm a teenager! Ha-ha!
 * Stitch: [looks at himself in the mirror; he hasn't changed at all] Ichunawa?
 * Teenage Lilo: You look exactly the same. I guess genetic experiments age differently than humans. [Stitch groans] Maybe you can grow a goatee. That'd make you look older.

<hr width="50%">


 * Teenage Lilo: Nani?
 * Older Nani: [turns around and gasps] Lilo! You're back! [runs to her and hugs her; becomes extremely angry] You are in 10 years of trouble, young lady!
 * Teenage Lilo: Let me go!
 * Older Nani: Oh, no. I've been waiting 10 years to yell at you for this! [Teenage Lilo screams and breaks free from her arm; chasing her around the house] Yeah, you go to your room! You are super extra grounded!
 * Teenage Lilo: You can't ground me! I'm not a kid anymore.
 * Older Nani: Yeah, but you're still my little sister and I still make the rules!
 * Teenage Lilo: [while elevating up to her rooftop dome room] This is why I skipped 10 years in the first place. You're always treating me like a child.
 * Older Nani: I'll stop treating you like a child when you stop acting like one! [moments later, she enters holding a sandwich on a plate] Lilo, I brought you some lunch. [sits next to her on the bed] You must be hungry if haven't eaten in 10 years.
 * Teenage Lilo: I'm old enough to make my own lunch now.
 * Older Nani: I guess I forgot what it's like to be in a hurry to grow up. I spent most of my time wishing I could go back to being a kid.
 * Teenage Lilo: There's nothing good about being a kid.
 * Older Nani: You think that now but, oh you'll understand when you're older.

<hr width="50%">


 * [Teenage Lilo and Stitch go to the movies and run into Teenage Mertle]
 * Teenage Mertle: [laughs] That is the ugliest outfit I have ever seen!
 * Teenage Lilo: Mertle?! It's me, Lilo!
 * Teenage Mertle: Weirdlo?! From when we were kids?! Well, that certainly explains your ridiculous getup!
 * Teenage Lilo: For your information, these are the latest fashions.
 * Teenage Mertle: Yeah, from ten years ago, maybe! Try picking up a current fashion book once in a while.

<hr width="50%">


 * [after traveling ten years further into the future, Lilo finds herself as an adult; she finds the buggy overflowing with tickets]
 * Officer: Hey. Is this your car?
 * Adult Lilo: Uh... no.
 * Officer: Well, I feel sorry for whoever owns it. It's breaking about a million laws in the Hämsterviel-ville city code.
 * Adult Lilo: Hämsterviel-ville? But this is Kokaua Town.
 * Officer: Miss, this place hasn't been Kokaua Town for at least five years.
 * [Lilo looks around to see the entire town taken over by Hämsterviel]
 * Adult Lilo: Stitch, I think we skipped too much.
 * Stitch: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

<hr width="50%">


 * [with the help of Clink, Stitch and Skip are captured by the police and sent to Gantu]
 * 625: Hey, Gantu! We got a collected call coming in from Hamsterwheel.
 * Hämsterviel: VIEL!!! HÄMSTERVIEL!!!!
 * 625: If you want, I should accept the charges?
 * Gantu: Do I have a choice?

<hr width="50%">


 * [After returning to their normal place in time, Lilo and Stitch happily runs up to Nani and hugs her]
 * Nani: You're acting as though you haven't seen me in years!
 * Lilo: I haven't!
 * Nani: Listen, maybe I was a little too strict last night. You're growing up whether I like it or not.
 * Lilo: Forget about it. I think I'm perfectly happy being your baby sister for now.
 * Nani: [tickles Lilo] Who are you and what have you done with Lilo?
 * Lilo: Don't worry. You'll understand when you're older.
 * Nani: I just hope I understand you when I'm older.

Checkers (Experiment 029) [2.07]

 * Computer: Experiment 029 activated. Primary function: king maker. Gives its wearer power of command over all living creatures.
 * Gantu: Power of command, eh?

<hr width="50%">


 * [Lilo and Stitch bring Experiment 029 home from allowing Gantu to capture him]
 * Lilo: Let's see what we can figure out what you do so we can find your one true place. [searches him up on Jumba's computer] Here he is. "Experiment 029. Gives its wearer the power of command over all living creatures." I wonder what your one true place is.
 * Nani: LILO!!!!!!!! [enters the rooftop dome with yellow hair] Did you put lemonade in the shampoo bottle?!
 * Lilo: Yep, it's cleansing and refreshing.

<hr width="50%">
 * [Lilo and Stitch discover Checkers, who gives whoever dons him great power; as soon as Nani sees Lilo donning checkers, she treats her like a queen]
 * Lilo: Okay, things are gonna be a little different around here. We're going to try some of my ideas for building a new ohana.
 * Nani: Of course, Your Majesty.
 * Lilo: Here's my first decree: whereas Stitch doesn't like to eat broccoli.
 * Stitch: Blech!
 * Lilo: He therefore doesn't finish his vegetables at dinner, and so you ground him. I therefore decree that coconut cake be served as a vegetable course with every meal, 'cause then Stitch will eat it.
 * Nani: Your wish is my command.
 * Stitch: COCONUT CAKE!!! WOO-HOO!!!
 * Lilo: And what about you my loyal subject?
 * Stitch: Uh-uh. Naga. Cousin.
 * Lilo: Oh, it's the "other experiments aren't affected" thing. Oh, well, this is still one cool cousin!

<hr width="50%">


 * [after Lilo brainwashed nearly everyone in Kauai, Mertle and the hula girls arrest every "troublemaker", anyone who gets her request wrong, and sends them to the dungeon]
 * Lilo: My Aunt Pleakley's in the dungeon?!
 * Stitch: Ih.
 * Lilo: What did she do?
 * Mertle: She was roasting a turkey. Her Majesty clearly decreed that Tuesday is Thanksgiving and today is not Tuesday!
 * Lilo: What?! Who else is in the dungeon?! [Mertle hands Lilo a list of people that were sent to the dungeon] Oh, no! I never meant for this to happen!
 * Mertle: But your word is law, Highness.
 * Lilo: Well, maybe it shouldn't be.
 * Stitch: Uh-uh!
 * Lilo: I just wanted to make everyone's lives better, but maybe I went a little overboard. Is that what you were trying to tell me, Stitch?
 * Stitch: Yes.
 * Lilo: [sighs] Moses is right: listening to other people's ideas isn't my strong suit. I'm done being queen now, Checkers. You can come down. [Checkers crawls down from Lilo's head] Now we can find your one true place.
 * Gantu: [snatches Checkers and puts him on his head] His one true place is with me! [nothing happens] Uh, is this thing on?
 * Lilo: [under the influence of Checkers] What is your wish, Your Majesty?
 * Gantu: Finally, after all this time, I, KING!!!

PJ (Practical Joker) (Experiment 133) [2.08]

 * [While Moses practices his hula dance, Mertle blows a trumpet loudly and gives it to Lilo, and she and her friends all point at her, thinking she did it]
 * Moses: Oh, Lilo.
 * Mertle: Way to ruin the hula kahiko, Lilo!
 * Lilo: But I didn't do it!
 * Moses: [to the drummers] Sorry. Lilo is a bit of a free spirit.
 * Mertle: Yeah, she's a big problem. [she and the other hula girls laugh]
 * Lilo: I am not!
 * Moses: As long as we're stopped, I have an announcement: Kimo, Kiko and I going to perform in Honolulu.
 * Lilo: That's great!
 * Elena: Wow!
 * Moses: It means I'm going to be gone for a week, so my friend Mr. Kaponi will teach the next couple of classes, okay? So, please, everyone, behave.
 * Stitch: Bark, bark!

<hr width="50%">
 * [after Lilo takes the consequences for the paper airplanes Mertle threw at Mr. Kaponi]
 * Mertle: Look, girls. It's teacher's favorite!
 * [the hula girls laugh]
 * Lilo: I'm trying to be nice! He's Moses's friend.
 * Mertle: In case you haven't noticed, he's also a big meanie!
 * Lilo: You're the meanie! You keep telling him I did stuff!
 * Mertle: And that's because you won't help me! Why don't you pull some pranks on him?!
 * Lilo: Well...
 * Mertle: Don't you wanna get back at him? If anyone made me do a hundred sunsets, you can bet I get revenge!
 * Yuki, Teresa and Elena: YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

<hr width="50%">
 * [Lilo and Stitch find 133, which Lilo calls PJ, and brings him home]
 * Pleakley: [looks at PJ's fake dollar bill] These practical jokes sound fascinating. Is it a traditional Earth activity?
 * Lilo: Yep. People do it for laughs, and revenge.
 * Pleakley: Let me try one. [drops the fake dollar and tries to grab it in midair; laughs] Now that is funny! [Lilo, Stitch, and PJ stare at Pleakley unamused] Why aren't you laughing? [PJ sucks the dollar up his nose] Hey, where'd it go?!
 * [Lilo and Stitch laugh]
 * Jumba: One-eyed noodle friend obviously knows nothing about practical jokestering. Must be funny, yes, but also is requiring touch of evil genius. Eh, for example, my Experiment 133. Is practical joke gone mad! Unholy offspring of science and evil! Stay away! [laughs]

<hr width="50%">
 * [after PJ uses big pranks on Mr. Kaponi]
 * Jumba: Discipline for disturbing hula class?! I'm very proud.
 * Lilo: But I didn't even do it! It was PJ! Mertle says I shouldn't let Mr. Kaponi get away with it. Teach him a lesson! I think maybe she's right.
 * Jumba: I see your mind is under much evil influence.
 * Lilo: What? From PJ?
 * Jumba: No, from Mertle girl.
 * Lilo: But she's right! It's like Mr. Kaponi's out to get me!
 * [a squeak is heard]
 * Pleakley: Fear no more! Presenting the crown prince of practical jokes... [runs in dressed as a jester] Pleakley the Prankster!
 * Jumba: Eh, apologies, but like ridiculous outfit, joke is on you. Again, I'm saying, practical joker needs heart of evil, not hat of jangly little bells!

<hr width="50%">
 * Lilo: Drowsy, I really appreciate you coming to help Stitch. He's been having such trouble sleeping lately. Stitch, someone's here to see you.
 * [Stitch looks down and Drowsy steps out from behind Lilo as she covers her ears]
 * Drowsy: Baaaa baaaaaaaa!
 * [Stitch yawns and falls off the bed, hitting his head and falls into a deep sleep]
 * Lilo: Thanks, Drowsy. OK, PJ, what we need is a prank that's really funny. Something bigger than glue but not as big as… Boom! Wee-ooh! Woo-ooh woo-ooh woo-ooh! OK? [notices PJ's not behind her] Hello? [PJ slides down the stair rail, holding a blueprint and hops into the kitchen] Wow! Look at all this! I don't know, PJ. This is pretty bad… But I suppose he does deserve it, huh? 'Cause he hates me, right? I mean, Stitch won't like it, but he's sound asleep.

Ploot (Experiment 505) [2.09: Earth Day Special]

 * [Note: In this episode, Ploot is misnumbered 515, the number of Deforestator, who appears in this episode]


 * [Lilo has failed to convince Mertle and the hula girls to help with cleaning the beach; Pleakley is spraying air freshener all over the kitchen]
 * Lilo: Pleakley, what are you doing?!
 * Pleakley: Oh, I picked up a case of these air fresheners in the store today. Mmm... This mint scent really perks you up. Let's see how "toasted flower garden" makes it feel. [accidentally sprays it on Jumba's face, who grabs him angrily] Hmm, it makes you very very angry. Fascinating.
 * Jumba: Why does my neck massager have scent of bubble gum?!
 * Pleakley: To make you feel... happy?
 * Lilo: Can you guys help me clean Pudge's grotto today?
 * Pleakley: Sure, I'll... [Jumba pulls on his arm] Yipe!
 * Jumba: Eh! Pleakley will be too busy massaging aching shoulders of Jumba while he builds new un-smelly massager!
 * Pleakley: Sorry, Lilo.
 * Lilo: I understand.

<hr width="50%">
 * [Lilo and Stitch have discovered an experiment that cleans up pollution and name it Ploot; Stitch catches an illness that makes him turn yellow, sneeze and grow extra arms from eating too much garbage]
 * Jumba: Hard to believe I can't solve problem. I'm evil genius.
 * Lilo: You sure are a genius. You invented Ploot and he's not even evil at all.
 * Jumba: What is experiment you call Ploot?
 * Lilo: The one who cleans up the pollution.
 * Jumba: Cleans pollution? Hmmm.... Ah! You mean Experiment 515! [chuckles] No, no. Is not cleaning pollution. Is collecting pollution.
 * Lilo: What's the difference?
 * Jumba: The more pollution he collects, the larger and bigger he grows, until he becomes large pollution beast! Then he creates a thick black sludge, which he will spray all over town until everything is covered in a stinky coating of its own trash! [laughs maniacally]
 * Lilo: That's pretty evil.
 * Jumba: Thank you. But 626 is most unwell. If you wish to protect island from being smothered by its own pollution, you'll have to go alone.

<hr width="50%">
 * [after Lilo and Stitch use combined air freshener to shrink Ploot down to normal size, Ploot finds his one true place by cleaning up the beach]
 * Lilo: Pudge says mahalo for cleaning up his home. Oh, and it's gonna rain tomorrow afternoon.
 * Nani: Well, then I'm glad we could help out today.
 * Lifeguard: Hey, Lilo, this little guy is really helping clean up the beach.
 * [Ploot chirps happily]
 * Lilo: That's great! Way to go, Ploot!
 * Jumba: Combination of smelling sprays had very positive influence on his personality as well.
 * Lilo: Yeah. He's cleaning up the trash but not spitting it out.
 * Pleakley: Y'know, now that this cove is clean, it could really use the refreshing scent of tropical ocean breeze!
 * Lilo: But there already is a tropical ocean breeze.
 * Pleakley: How about cherry brownie cheesecake? How about pineapple springtime? Hibiscus heaven? Blueberry and mint?

Snooty (Experiment 277) [2.10]

 * [Gantu and 625 are watching a competition on TV]
 * Gantu: Do you think Jenny will make it to the final two?
 * 625: Who cares? This show is lame! Everyone's such a sap!
 * Gantu: What about Jack? He's just pretending to be a sap to increase his chance of winning!
 * 625: Oh... is that why you act like a sap? 'Cause it's not working. You're still a loser.
 * Gantu: Quiet! I'm trying to--
 * Computer: Warning, Experiment 277 activated. [Gantu groans in frustration] Primary function: mine and enrich Snootonium.
 * Gantu: Snootonium? There's no Snootonium on Earth. This experiment is useless. [Hämsterviel's contact interrupts the show] Hey, the TV!
 * Hämsterviel: TV, schmeevee! Get up off your enormously useless behind and go capture that experiment or I will cancel all your useless entertainment service!
 * Gantu: [sighs] Yes, sir. I suppose I'll miss the big season finale.
 * 625: Want me to record for ya?
 * Gantu: You wouldn't mind?
 * 625: Hey, what are friends for? Trust me.

<hr width="50%">
 * [Victoria is afraid of Experiment 277, believing it's a vampire; Gantu appear]
 * Lilo: No wonder the vampire exterminator didn't work on him. He's an experiment.
 * Gantu: Give me the abomination right now!
 * Victoria: Take it, please! I'd knew you'd fix the problem.
 * Lilo: Victoria, you don't understand.
 * Gantu: Come to Papa. [reaches to grab Snooty until Stitch bites his finger]
 * Victoria: What's Stitch doing? That big guy's gonna take the vampire for us.
 * Lilo: That little guy isn't a vampire. He's an illegal genetic experiment from another planet, like Stitch.
 * Victoria: Stitch is an alien?!
 * Lilo: Yeah, sorry. I should have told you.

<hr width="50%">
 * [Gantu to his ship returns after failing to catch Snooty]
 * 625: Catch anything? No, of course you didn't.
 * Gantu: Please, not now, I sustained an injury.
 * 625: Know how I know you didn't catch anything? BECAUSE BIG H CUT THE CABLE!! THAT'S HOW!!!
 * Gantu: He cut the cable? But what about--
 * 625: Your show? Sorry, didn't get it.
 * Gantu: But-but what happened to Jack and Jenny? What will we do without television?!
 * 625: Well, Hämsterviel did let us keep one channel. [turns on the TV]
 * Gantu: No, no...
 * Announcer: Coming up on The Sandwich Channel: The Mysteries of Mayonnaise.
 * Gantu: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

<hr width="50%">
 * [while Lilo finds out that Snooty sucks mucus from people, Victoria teams up with Gantu to capture Snooty; Pleakley drives Lilo and a drowsy Stitch to Snooty's mountain lair really slowly]
 * Lilo: Can't you go any faster?
 * Pleakley: These are steep mountain roads. Safety first driving techniques demand that I take control of the vehicle at all times.
 * Lilo: This thing flies, you know.
 * Pleakley: [gasps] Flying?! Through these jagged canyons?!
 * [Stitch pulls a lever, causing the buggy to fly off the road]
 * Pleakley: Flying?! Flying?! Can't keep the eye on the road when I'm flying!
 * Stitch: Aga blahblah!

<hr width="50%">
 * [Victoria learns that Gantu was using her as bait to lure Snooty to him; she stops Gantu and sets Snooty free]
 * Lilo: You saved him!
 * Victoria: You were right, Lilo. He's not a monster at all. I should have trusted you.
 * Lilo: You were kinda right, too. Snooty actually is a vampire. You know, a snot vampire.
 * Victoria: No wonder he kept chasing me! My allergies! [Snooty leaps up to Victoria's face and sucks the mucus out through her nose] I can breathe!
 * Lilo: I think he likes you.
 * Victoria: Maybe he could come live with me.
 * Lilo: Really?
 * Victoria: He could keep my sinuses clear!
 * Pleakley: [starts the engine of the buggy] Ah-ha! Finally! [drives the buggy in reverse and crashes into Gantu's jet] I hope he had insurance.

<hr width="50%">
 * [625 is channel-surfing as Gantu returns]
 * Gantu: No, I didn't capture the experiment.
 * 625: Oh, hey, Gantu! Hi! You're home early, aren't ya?
 * Gantu: 625, that's not the sandwich channel. When did we get the cable back?
 * 625: Ah, y'know, just now. Right this second! Amazing coinkeydink, huh?
 * Gantu: It was never out! You just said that so you could have it all to yourself!
 * 625: I always said you were a semi-intelligent species.
 * Gantu: To think I trusted you.
 * 625: Eh, you live, you learn.

Retro (Experiment 210) [2.11]

 * [Nani is practicing for an interview with Lilo and Stitch]
 * Nani: As you know, I am a hard loyal worker. And I think I'm overdue for a raise, or a promotion, or maybe a raise and a promotion.
 * Lilo: [imitates Mr. Jameson] Are you lolo?
 * Nani: No, I'm serious.
 * Lilo: Could you smash a brick with your bare hands?
 * Nani: The vice president of the hotel isn't gonna ask me that.
 * Lilo: You have to prepared for anything.
 * Nani: I am! Except for this hair! What time is it?
 * Lilo: Don't worry. You have 20 minutes.
 * Nani: What?! I'll never make it!

<hr width="50%">
 * [After her interview with the vice president, Nani runs into her junior high school friends, Ellen and Lona]
 * Nani: [excited] What are you doing here?!
 * Ellen: We're on vacation, what else? We kept in touch unlike some people.
 * Nani: Sorry. High school was kinda lolo for me. You both look so great!
 * Lona: Well, you've sure got it goin' on, Ms. Vice President.
 * Nani: Huh? Oh, no, I'm not...
 * Ellen: Yes. I'm surrounded by success stories. And to think, I only married well.
 * Lona: You managed to stay here in Hawaii! That's awesome, girl! I mean, I love LA...
 * Ellen: But honestly, there's life beyond surfer boys and boogie boarding. Keep Kauai, just give me Park Avenue!
 * Nani: You live in New York? And in LA?
 * Lona: And you run this beautiful hotel. That must be a blast!
 * Ellen: Oh, and Lana's and business, too.
 * Lona I just own a little cosmetics company. Allen's life is all that. Yachting around the world.
 * Nani: A yacht?! You have a yacht?!
 * Ellen: Oh, please, it's a floating hotel, nothing to get all squishy about.
 * Lona: Oh, it's cool and you know it!

<hr width="50%">
 * [after Ellen and Lona invite Nani and her family to Ellen's yacht for dinner, assuming she's vice president of the hotel, Nani tells Lilo and Stitch the truth]
 * Nani: So now they think I'm the vice president of the hotel. Isn't that hilarious?
 * Lilo: Yeah, especially the part with your lying!
 * Nani: But they're all so successful! And I rent canoes!
 * Pleakley: Oh, they're lots of people in the world who wish they could rent canoes.
 * Nani: Like who?
 * Pleakley: Eh... like... Marsh...a.

<hr width="50%">
 * [Pleakley has Lilo, Stitch and Jumba formally dressed up]
 * Lilo: Nani said it's supposed to be casual.
 * Pleakley: When yacht people say "casual", they mean "dress up". Trust me.
 * Lilo: Then what do they mean when they say "dress up"?
 * Pleakley: Oh! When yacht people say "dress up"... I mean, wow! Gold crowns, mirrored sunglasses, leather capes, ruby slippers, I mean, they really dress up!

<hr width="50%">
 * [after Retro turns Lilo, Jumba, Pleakley, Ellen, and Lona into cavepeople, Stitch captures him and finds the way to reverse the effect; Retro turns Ellen's yacht into a canoe]
 * Nani: The yacht, it's a canoe! Stitch, I can't afford to buy Ellen a new yacht!
 * Stitch: [grabs Retro's tongue and then wraps it around the cavepeople, and then spanks Retro in the behind three times] One, two, three!
 * [Retro releases his tongue, turning Nani's friends and family back to normal]
 * Ellen: What just happened?
 * Jumba: And why are we drifting toward very sharp rocks?
 * Pleakley: And why is there ham stuck in my teeth?

<hr width="50%">
 * [after the group makes it safety to shore..]
 * Nani: So, I'm sorry I lied to you guys. I guess I just wanted you to think I was doing something more important with my life than teaching people how to use one of these.
 * Lona: What are you talking about? Using one of these saved our lives!
 * Ellen: I honestly don't care what you do for a living, Nani. At least you actually work.
 * Lona: We're just thrilled to see you, girl.
 * Ellen: So you rent water sports gear.
 * Nani: Yep.
 * Lona: You got jet-skis?
 * Nani: Yep.
 * Lona: Well, what are we waiting for?
 * Ellen: Oh, Lana, must we?
 * Lona: Oh, come on, Ellen, we're on vacation!

Morpholomew (Experiment 316) [2.13]

 * Note: This is the first crossover episode to feature American Dragon: Jake Long characters

<hr width=50%>
 * Jumba: [shapeshifts into Lilo] 316 can turn anyone… [then shapeshifts into Stitch] …into an exact duplicate of any other one.

<hr width=50%>
 * [Jake, Grandpa Luong, Spud, Trixie, and Fu Dog arrive on Kauai]
 * Jake: Look at these chumps, Grandpa. They don't even know how bad I'm gonna school them. That Velociraptor 1200 is mine, yo.
 * Grandpa Luong: We did not come all the way from New York City merely for skateboard prizes, Jake. You are the American dragon. You have a responsibility.
 * Jake: Yeah, I know, protect magical creatures. But for real, Gramps, how am I supposed to find all these undisguised magical creatures you've been hearing about?
 * Grandpa Luong: Just keep your eyes open, young dragon.

<hr width=50%>
 * Lilo: [stopping Stitch and Jake Long's fight, while still in the form of Jake Long] Stop it! Both of you! This is all my fault. I think it's time for the truth. My real name is Lilo, and I'm actually a little Hawaiian girl under the influence of an alien shapeshifter.
 * Jake: Cool, but, I mean, why did you turn into me?
 * Lilo: Well, there's this guy. I was trying to win the Velociraptor 1200 for him. You know, so he'd like me.
 * Jake: Sweet plan.
 * Spud: For real. If a girl did that for me, my heart would be hers forever.
 * Trixie: What are y'all tryin' to do here, mess up the little Hawaiian girl's head for life?! Lilo, listen to little mama Trixie. You can't buy anybody's love. It's gotta come all from up in here. [gestures to her chest] You feel me?
 * Lilo: I feel you. [to Jake] I'll stop being you as soon as Stitch and I find Experiment 316.
 * Jake: Experiment 316? That's what the big shark alien kept calling me.
 * Spud: The land shark?! [to Trixie] I told you!
 * Lilo: Big land shark alien? Gantu's got him! We have to get Experiment 316 back… or I'll be Jake Long forever! Anybody up for a rescue mission?
 * Jake: A rematch with that shark punk? Count us in! Hey, has anybody seen grandpa?

<hr width="50%">
 * Jake: That is one sweet board. But not as sweet as making a new friend. [fist bumps with Lilo]

Spats (Experiment 397) [2.14]

 * Note: This is the second crossover episode to feature The Proud Family characters

<hr width=50%>
 * Lilo: I hope people will come and stay here. Nani could really use the money.
 * Pleakley: We have our rooms filled this weekend so you could just relax. Now when I say, "relax," I mean, help me arrange these magazines!

<hr width=50%>
 * [A bus carrying the Proud Family on board arrives at the Bed & Not Breakfast]
 * Lilo: [sees the bus approaching] Pleakley, the other guests are here.
 * Oscar: [steps off the bus and yells angrily at the driver] Next time, why don't you try to hit every pothole?!
 * Pleakley: Aloha, Mr. Proud. Welcome to Kauai. [puts a lei necklace on around him]
 * Oscar: [to his wife] Look at this, Trudy. Ain't been here five minutes, and they're already tryin' to sell me stuff.
 * Trudy: Oscar, its Hawaiian hospitality. Aloha.
 * Pleakley: Interstingly, "Aloha" is Hawaiian for "Everybody must be quiet. Shh."
 * Sugar Mama: [loudly] What's Hawaiian for "Where's the bathroom?!"
 * [Penny is the last person to step off the bus]
 * Lilo: Aloha. [puts a lei necklace on around her neck] I'm Lilo, and this is my dog, Stitch.
 * Penny: Aloha, Lilo. I'm Penny Proud. That's a cute… Uh, dog, did you say?
 * Lilo: You're gonna love Kauai. There's tons of fun stuff to do.
 * Penny: Yeah. Oh, but I have to write an article for my school paper while I'm here. That won't be much fun.
 * Pleakley: I think you'll be very happy with the customized relax and wrestle package we put together for you.
 * Lilo: Relax and wrestle?
 * Pleakley: Oh, yes. The Prouds are here to see Wizard Kelly's smack-up throwdown Hawaiian style, y'all.
 * Oscar: I should've known Wizard Kelly put us up in a 2x4.

<hr width=50%>
 * Lilo: I'm sorry you lost your luggage. You can borrow these until you get your stuff back.
 * Penny: [realizing] My notebook was in there! How am I supposed to finish my article?! Oh, man!

<hr width=50%>
 * Computer: Warning. Experiment 397 activated. Primary function: argument instigator.
 * Gantu: An argument starter. I will capture this one.
 * 625: No, you won't.
 * Gantu: Yes, I will.
 * 625: No, you won't.
 * Gantu: Yes, I will.
 * 625: Hey, we already argue fine. You don't even need it.
 * Gantu: Yes, I do!
 * 625: No, you don't.
 * Gantu: Now you're just being silly.
 * 625: No, I'm not.

<hr width=50%>
 * [While Oscar and Trudy lay out on a hammock and kiss, Experiment 397 appears and zaps them both, causing them to start arguing]
 * Oscar: Why you giving me that ugly look?!
 * Trudy: Me ugly?! Your face is so ugly, it could make onions cry!
 * Oscar: Well, when I look at you, I cry!
 * Trudy: Ok, I'm out of here!
 * Oscar: Good! Your hips are taking up all the room!

<hr width=50%>
 * Mr. Cooper: Mr. Jumba, I came here to find, ahh, peace, and shh, quiet.
 * Jumba: But, Mr. Cooper, sir… [Experiment 397 zaps both him and Mr. Cooper, causing them to argue] Would be more quiet if you closed your big mouth!
 * Mr. Cooper: What?! You will treat me with respect, sir!
 * Jumba: Will not! [smears barbecue sauce on Mr. Cooper's face]

<hr width=50%>
 * Penny: What happened while we gone?
 * Lilo: I'm sure everything is fine.
 * [Experiment 397 appears in front of them and follows the others]
 * Stitch: Ekata!
 * Penny: Please tell me that's just what a cat looks like on Kauai. [catches up with Lilo and Stitch as they run up to the house] Hey, wait up! I thought you were gonna show me the blowhole after lunch!
 * Lilo: Uh, change of plans. Maybe you should write an article about catching that cat?
 * Penny: I can't change it now. My articles is about a Hawaiian vacation.
 * Lilo: It'll all work out if you just roll with it. I promise.

<hr width=50%>
 * Lilo: [finds Experiment 397 on Jumba's computer] Here he is, Stitch. "Experiment 397: Invented to start people arguing."
 * Penny: [concerned] Why would anyone invent that?
 * Lilo: I guess when people are fighting, they don't notice someone else taking over their planet.
 * Penny: Oh, I never thought of that.
 * Lilo: If you think like an evil scientist, it makes perfect sense.
 * Penny: Well, did he invent a way to stop people from arguing?
 * Lilo: That wouldn't be evil.

<hr width=50%>
 * [Experiment 397 zaps at Mrs. Hasagawa giving a woman some of her mangoes, Luki giving a customer a shave ice cone, and Mary and Charles, causing them all to start arguing with each other]
 * Mrs. Hasagawa: What do you mean, my mangoes aren't fresh?!
 * Luki: What do you mean, my shave ice isn't fresh?!
 * Mary: What do you mean, getting fresh with me?!
 * Charles: But dear, it's our honeymoon!

<hr width=50%>
 * Pleakley: Well, it's goodbye service industry for us. We got a terrible review!

Wishy-Washy (Experiment 267) [2.16]

 * Computer: Experiment 267 activated. Primary function: granting wishes.
 * Gantu: Granting wishes? Of all the experiments I've never caught, this one holds the most promise!

Phoon (Experiment 540) [2.17]

 * Computer: Experiment 540 activated. Primary function: generates devastating wind blasts.
 * 625: You hear that? This guy's an even bigger wind bag than you, Gantu.

Shush (Experiment 234) [2.19]

 * Lilo: Mrs. Hasagawa's dating, and her first name is "Lynne."

Rufus [2.20]

 * Note: This is the third crossover episode to feature Kim Possible characters

<hr width=50%>
 * Lilo: Pleakley! Jumba! Stitch is gone! Some kind of flying French roll flew out of the sky and took him away! We're gonna have to use your ship to find him.
 * Jumba: So sorry, Lilo. Ship is now bed-not-breakfast.
 * Lilo: Well, if you're not going to help me, then I'm going to have save Stitch myself!
 * Jumba: I'm sorry, Lilo. You know rules: no going on dangerous missions without 626.
 * Lilo: Who could possibly do the job better than me?
 * Pleakley: Wait a minute! I know! [digs through the magazines] The answer's right here! [holds out a Kimstyle magazine, with Kim Possible on the front cover]
 * Lilo: Kim Possible? The number one international teen super-sleuth in the world?
 * Pleakley: All we have to do is go to Kim Possible's website, tell her we're in trouble, and take advantage of her highly efficient secret agent skills. She's good!
 * Jumba: Let me see that. [takes the magazine] Hmm. This Possible Kim has quite impressive résumé. Head of cheerleading squad. Saving the world 12 times.
 * Lilo: I probably saved the world at least 14 times. And can she hula? I doubt it. We don't need her. We can do it ourselves.

<hr width=50%>
 * [Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable are flying in a plane heading to their destination in Kauai]
 * Ron: So, do you know, like, the King of Hawaii? I mean, two boo-yas up for the ride, K.P.
 * Kim: No big. My dad and the senator were tight in grad school.
 * Ron: Hey, maybe we can hit him up for a luau.
 * [Rufus puts a Hawaiian skirt around his waist and dances]
 * Kim: You read the note, Ron. "Safety of the world at stake." That means there won't be time for noshing with the locals, all right?

<hr width=50%>
 * Pleakley: Where are you going, Lilo?
 * Lilo: Oh. Um…camping… in the kitchen.
 * Pleakley: Well, ok, but stay close. You don't wanna miss the look on Kim Possible's face when she sees my collage of her. [the sound of a plane whooshing from outside is heard] What was that?
 * Kim: [swoops into the house and hits the back of her head on the couch] Ow! That's got "bruise" written all over it.
 * Pleakley: It's--it's--it's… [faints]
 * Kim: Ok. What's with her?
 * Jumba: Um…Aunt Pleakley is…top-heavy.
 * Ron: [kicks the door open with karate shouts] I got you covered, K.P.
 * Jumba: You are Possible Kim, no?
 * Kim: No. I mean, well, yes I am. Possible Kim. [shaking her head] Why are we talking like this?
 * Lilo: [starts to walk to the door, having no time for this] I'm sorry, your services won't be needed.
 * Kim: [slides in front of her] Whoa. Hold on a sec. Your email specifically said it was urgent. What's the sitch?
 * Lilo: No, who's Stitch?

<hr width=50%>
 * [Lilo and Kim Possible walk through the tropical forest, discussing about Stitch's kidnapping]
 * Lilo: I'm thinking Stitch was kidnapped by Hämsterviel. He's an evil gerbil who thinks he's a hamster. I'm telling you, if we use the X-Buggy--
 * Kim: Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you sit down quietly and safely while I look for clues.
 * Lilo: [spots a black glove on the ground and picks it up] You mean… like this?
 * Kim: Oh, don't tell me.
 * Lilo: There's something written on it. It says, "If found, please return to Dr. Drakken. It was a gift from my mother."
 * Kim: Wade, give me a beat on Dr. D.
 * Wade: Looks like he's about 83 miles southeast of your position.
 * Kim: But that's in the middle of the ocean. We're gonna need some major air transport.
 * Lilo: We can use the X-Buggy.
 * Kim: Thanks, but I promised your aunt I wouldn't let you get hurt.
 * Lilo: I won't get hurt. I promise.
 * Kim: Lilo, please. This just isn't a kid-friendly sitch. I'll be back in no time with Snotch.
 * Lilo: Stitch.
 * Kim: All right.

Lax (Experiment 285) [2.21]

 * Note: This is the fourth crossover episode to feature the main characters from Recess

<hr width=50%>


 * Nani: LILO! Kitchen, NOW!
 * Lilo: We're already here. Stitch and I cooked up our latest recipe. Want some?
 * Nani: What I want is for this mess to be cleaned up, before I get home!
 * Lilo: I guess we did make a pretty big mess.
 * Stitch: Unh.
 * Lilo: We probably should clean it up. Do you feel like cleaning?
 * Stitch: Nagga.
 * Lilo: Me neither. But I know someone who loves to clean.

<hr width=50%>


 * [Lilo drags Stitch all the way to the Birds of Paradise hotel while trying to Experiment 285 and then meets the Recess gang]
 * Lilo: [to Stitch] Everybody's turning into mellotrons or something.
 * Spinelli: [passing by] Watch it! Coming through! Last one in the pool is a rotten bologna sandwich crawling with maggots!
 * Lilo: Well, almost everyone.
 * Gus: [catching up] Wait, Spinelli! I hate bologna. Chlorine turns my hair green, and maggots are icky!
 * Lilo: [annoyed] Tourists. Come on, Stitch. [notices that Stitch is out of her sight] Stitch?
 * Gretchen: We really should be heading over to the observatory.
 * Spinelli: Come on, Gretch. Don't be such a wet blanket, for crying out loud. We're on vacation here. Let's have some fun!
 * Gretchen: Actually, Spinelli, none of you are here for leisure. As you recall, T.J. convinced the unit of concerned brainy kids that you should all escort me to Kauai at my five astronomy assistants.
 * Vince: Yeah! [chuckles] Good one, Teej. [He and T.J. high five]
 * T.J.: Hey, I'd say just about anything for a chance to goof off in paradise.
 * Mikey: Indeed. Our locale brings to mind the great John Milton, whose epic, Paradise Lost, I intend to read cover to cover during our sojourn here.
 * Gus: Hey, has anyone seen my fruity drink? It's the one with the paper umbrella. [spots Stitch lying down on a pool raft, drinking his drink] AAH! Some weird monkey has my drink!
 * Lilo: Stitch, give the nice boy back his pineapple pizzazz. [gives Gus back his drink] Sorry about that. My dog's got some personal space issues.
 * Spinelli: Hey, you're a local kid. What do you do for fun on this rock?
 * Lilo: Um, well, lots of stuff.
 * Mikey: [reading John Milton's poem] "Of Eden, where delicious paradise, now nearer, crowns with her enclosure green--" [gets zapped by Experiment 285; takes Gus' drink out of his hands] And fruity drinks reign supreme. [jumps onto the pool raft next to Stitch] I pinned that last part.
 * Stitch: Hoo chi fah.
 * Lilo: Oh, no!
 * Spinelli: What in the name of Finster's support hose just happened?
 * Lilo: He's here! Everybody, DUCK! [forces the Recess gang to duck and cover and turns over a strap beach lounge chair for them to hide behind]
 * T.J.: Who's here?
 * Lilo: Um, my other… pet. His name is… Lax. He got loose, and I've got to catch him before he zaps anyone else.
 * Gretchen: Lax?
 * T.J.: Zaps?
 * Spinelli: You see, Gretch? The real excitement isn't up in space, it's right here, on good old planet Earth.

<hr width=50%>


 * Computer: Warning… Experiment 285 activated. Primary function: causes enemies to abandon work.
 * 625: Hey, hey. There's one you don't need. You never work! Oh, sorry. I mean, you never get paid. 'Cause you never catch any experiments.

<hr width=50%>
 * Gretchen: See here, Spinelli, I hardly think the mischief of some bizarre pet outweighs the possible discovery of a new planet. Using the island's high-powered telescope, I hope to prove that the object I saw from my garage observatory was…
 * Spinelli: [interrupting] Incredibly boring. No offense, Gretch, but we're on vacation. We'd have more fun chasing down Lax for Lulu over here.
 * Lilo: It's Lilo. And Stitch and I can catch him ourselves. It's like our job.
 * Vince: [spots and points to Lax up in a palm tree] There he is! He's up in that tree! Hey, you dumb zapper. You can't outrun Vince LaSalle. I'll shimmy up there and grab him. Somebody say ready, set-- [Lax immediately zaps him] chill. [lays down on a pool chair and rests]
 * Gus: That fiend! What's he done to our pal?!
 * Lilo: He'll be okay. He's not hurt or anything. He's just sort of…on vacation.
 * T.J.: Look, Lilo, I don't know what kind of creature that is up there, but it zapped two of my friends.
 * Lilo: Don't worry, Stitch and I will catch him.
 * T.J.: Um, your Stitch is on vacation. You're gonna need reinforcements.
 * Lilo: But, I can't be responsible for your safety.
 * T.J.: Hey, no problem. That's what Finster's for.
 * Lilo: What's a Finster?
 * Spinelli: Miss Finster, our faculty chaperone. A lot of good she'll do us. She hasn't left the spa since we got to the hotel.
 * [In the hotel spa, Rolf the masseur is massaging Miss Finster's back]
 * Miss Finster: Oh, Rolf. Nobody can massage that deep tissue like you.

<hr width=50%>


 * Lilo: We gotta figure out how to catch him without getting zapped ourselves.
 * Gus: Yeah. If I get any lazier than I already am, I'll forget to breathe!

<hr width=50%>


 * Galileo: Gretchen, I've scoured my databanks, and I haven't found any record of a creature that can focus a beam of energy that causes one to stop working. It's astounding.
 * Gretchen: Indeed, Galileo. It strikes me as very odd, as well. Lilo, if I may be so bold, this creature isn't, well, of this earth, is it?
 * Lilo: Well, not exactly.
 * Gus: I knew aliens existed! I just knew it!
 * Lilo: Please, Gus, we kind of try to keep a lid on the whole "aliens on earth" thing.

<hr width=50%>


 * [Lilo, Stitch, and the Recess gang arrive at the observatory beach as they catch up with Lax]
 * Spinelli: Looks like it's the end of the line for the cart, guys.
 * Stitch: [as Lilo grabs his hand and drags him] Aba tooka!
 * Gretchen: How fortuitous! He's led us directly to the observatory. Perhaps we could throw the creature off balance by rotating the building underneath it.
 * Lilo: A rotating building? Cool!

<hr width=50%>


 * Gretchen: Oh, my gosh! There it is! Lilo, come look at a new planet in our solar system!
 * Lilo: New planet? Does this thing have a focus?
 * Gretchen: Here.
 * Lilo: That's no planet. That's a gerbil-shaped satellite!
 * Gretchen: A what now?
 * Lilo: A satellite. Gerbil-shaped. With words on the side. [reading] "Hands off, loser life form! Experiment Locator. Property of Dr. J.V. Hämsterviel. P.S.: This satellite is not gerbil-shaped, it is hamster-shaped."
 * Gretchen: Let me see that! Loser life form is right. Some discovery I made.
 * Lilo: It is important. Hämsterviel is an evil alien rodent. We've gotta take it down.
 * Gretchen: I was under the impression you islanders were easy-going.

<hr width=50%>


 * Lilo: [after Gretchen is zapped by Lax] Gretchen, please tell me you finished the calculations before… before you…
 * Gretchen: Oh, I'm afraid I haven't.
 * Lilo: [defeated] We're doomed.
 * Gretchen: [resumes writing her calculations] But it shouldn't take me very much longer. I just need to tweak these coordinates again.
 * Lilo: But, you got zapped by Lax. Don't you wanna give up doing work and goof off?

Mrs. Hasagawa's Cats/Ace (Experiment 262) [2.23]

 * Mrs. Hasagawa: Mahalo plenty for all the work. Maybe you want to rest now. How about a nice apricot? They're all over my yard this year, which is a little strange, because I don't have an apricot tree. [removes the cover from the bowl she's holding, revealing it's full of experiment pods]
 * Lilo: [gasps in horror along with Stitch] Experiment pods!
 * Mrs. Hasagawa: But we have to wash them first. [holds up her watering can, preparing to pour water on them]
 * Lilo: Wait!
 * Stitch: No!
 * Mrs. Hasagawa: [picks up the bowl as all the experiment pods start activating] Now help yourself, but be careful of the pits. Oh, my!

<hr width=50%>
 * Lilo: Pleakley!
 * Pleakley: Just a moment, Lilo. I wouldn't want to be discourteous to this experiment.
 * Lilo: Pleakley, this is not the time to be polite.
 * Pleakley: Terribly sorry. I'm afraid it can't be helped. It seems one of stitch's cousins gives one painfully perfect manners.

Snafu (Experiment 120) [2.25]

 * Computer: Warning. Experiment 120 activated. Primary function: discombobulates enemy plans.
 * Gantu: I'm not interested.