Little House on the Prairie (TV series)

Little House on the Prairie is a television series starring Michael Landon and Melissa Gilbert. It is loosely based on a book by Laura Ingalls Wilder. The series began on the NBC network on September 11, 1974, and ended on May 10, 1982.

Harvest of Friends [1.01]

 * Laura: [opening narration] If I had a remembrance book, I would surely write down about the day we came to Plum Creek.


 * Laura: And I've decided something.
 * Charles: What's that, Half-Pint?
 * Laura: Home is the nicest word there is.
 * Charles: One of the nicest, that's for sure.


 * Reverend Alden: I'm looking out at the congregation today, and I must say that I'm distressed. I see many familiar faces, but the absence of several others. I see many women here without their husbands. If one of those people had experienced a loss this week, then I'm sure I would have heard about it. Now, we're all sinners, some to a lesser degree than others, but still sinners. It is only by attending Church and asking for God's forgiveness that we can be cleansed of those sins. Think upon that for a minute.

Country Girls [1.02]

 * Laura: Bye, Ma. Bye, Pa. Bye, Carrie. [hugs them all and leaves for school with Mary]
 * Charles: [to Caroline] That's an awful lot of good-byes for someone who's going to be home for supper.


 * Nellie: [to Laura and Mary] Country Girls!


 * Nellie: [to Christie] What did I tell you? Country Girls! [to Laura and Mary] Don't even know what a blackboard is!


 * Charles: Anyone in particular you like, Laura?
 * Laura: Someone in particular I don't like! That sippy Nellie Oleson!
 * Caroline: Laura!
 * Laura: Well, do you know what she called us? Country girls.
 * Charles: Well, you are country girls. There's nothing bad about that.
 * Laura: There is the way she said it. [mocks Nellie] Look at the country girls! Made me so mad, I wanted to smack her good!


 * Laura: Ma always says to "turn the other cheek." I just wondered when Nellie Oleson's mother would get around to telling her the same thing.


 * Laura: [as she recites her essay] "My Mother." My sister Mary is going to tell you how Pa brought us west, and how hard he worked. And I don't mean to take anything from him by telling you that Ma worked plenty hard herself. Still does. She cooks, and cleans, and sews, and cares of the lot of us, Pa included. I remembered once when I was little, coming down with the fever. Ma stayed up beside me all night long. I slept some, but she, never. Anytime I'd open my eyes, she'd be there, smiling, holding a cold cloth to my head. Now, with Mary and me "sprouting up," which is what Ma calls it, if there's ever the least littlest noise in the night, Ma would come climbing up the ladder, into the the loft, to make sure we're all right. I reckon there's times when she gets bone tired, but you'd never know it. Her smile is the last thing I see before I close my eyes and the first thing I want to see in the morning. Ma's been selling eggs to the mercantile, and she saved enough money to buy some yard goods for a new dress. This morning, Mary and me found out she made dresses for the two of us instead. That's because she loves us. That's the kind of mother Ma is, and that's why we love her so much.

100 Mile Walk [1.03]

 * Caroline: [to Charles] And boots for you! The first nickel we spend goes on boots.
 * Charles: Well, what's the matter with these? They were just starting to get comfortable on me.
 * Caroline: I was afraid that one morning, you'll pull them up and they'd slide clear up to your knees!


 * Charles: [to Caroline after the hail storm] The wheat's gone, but it's nothing to be solemn about. I guess you might say we're right back where we started. I mean, it's just one harvest. Now, what's one harvest in a man's life, huh? It's nothing. [hugs Caroline]

Mr. Edwards' Homecoming [1.04]

 * Caroline: Mr. Edwards! What a wonderful surprise!
 * Mr. Edwards: Yeah, well, you know me, like a bad penny, always showing up.


 * Charles: What did you girls learn in Sunday School today?
 * Mary: Susan Zigler passed a note to Freddy Hopkins and it made Amanda Butterfield jealous!
 * Charles: I meant about religion.


 * Mr. Edwards: [to Caroline] You tell me something, ma'am. Tell me why God let my wife and daughter die. Well, I'll be gone before you get back from Church tomorrow. I hate good-byes, so it's better all around if I'm just gone.
 * Caroline: Mr. Edwards, do you understand what you're doing? You're punishing God! And if you go on punishing him for what happened in the past, you're not going to have any room for the future. I'd feel so sorry if you did that.

The Love of Johnny Johnson [1.05]

 * Mary: Here, Carrie. Let's make letters.
 * Carrie: Pictures.
 * Mary: No, Carrie, we're going to make letters.
 * Carrie: Pictures.
 * Mary: Letters.
 * Carrie: Pictures!
 * Mary: Letters!
 * Carrie: Pictures!
 * Laura: Let her draw! Why do you always have to spoil everything, anyway?
 * Mary: I don't know what you're talking about.
 * Laura: You do too. We always used to have fun walking home, and now all you do is show off playing "teacher."
 * Mary: That's silly.
 * Laura: It's not silly! And you're two-faced, Mary Ingalls! Saying one thing about Johnny Johnson behind his back and acting another to his face!
 * Mary: It wasn't my idea to play "teacher." It was his! You're just all--
 * Laura: SHUT UP! You just SHUT UP!


 * Charles: How was school today?
 * Laura: It was fine, Pa.
 * Mary: Not for me. My day was awful and it's all because of that numbskull Johnny Johnson!
 * Caroline: What on Earth? Why, he seemed like such a nice lad.
 * Mary: He went off and put my initials on the sweetheart tree for everyone to gape at. I don't even like him! Willie's right, he looks like a scarecrow, and he's scatterbrained as well!
 * Laura: [standing up] How could you be so mean? Johnny Johnson's the best-looking boy in the whole school. You're the numbskull! [runs out]


 * Laura: I don't want to grow up to be a woman. It hurts.
 * Caroline: Well, we never do completely because in every woman there's a little girl, and in every little girl, there's a woman.



The Lord is My Shepherd (1) [1.13]

 * Caroline: [about the baby] He's still not gaining.
 * Doc Baker: Well, he's not gaining, but he's not losing. Just holding his own. I think we'll try putting him on regular milk. I believe that'll do the trick.
 * Caroline: But his appetite is good.
 * Doc Baker: Well, there might be something wrong with your milk, Caroline. It's just a difference in body chemistry. That's what they call it.
 * Caroline: It's never happened before.....
 * Doc Baker: Oh, now, don't start worrying. Everybody starts worrying when they don't have a fat baby.
 * Caroline: Oh, I'm not worried, just so long as you say everything's all right.
 * Tillie: No, you humiliated him!
 * Daizy: [hugging her Sailor Chibi Moon plush; angrily] And tried to  take  down my chadders!
 * Doc Baker: Everything's fine.


 * Laura: [to Mary] Do you want a brother or a sister?
 * Mary: I don't care.
 * Buhdeuce: [in Mary's motorcycle; shouting] HURRY UP!!!
 * Laura: Pa wants a boy, you know.
 * Mary: How do you know that?
 * Buhdeuce: [offscreen; screaming angrily]  HURRY THE F***K UP OR I'LL KILL YOU WITH A MOVIE RACK KIT!!! 
 * Laura: Because every time he talked about the baby at supper, he said "him" or "he." That's how I know.
 * Mary: Well, only God knows if it's a boy or a girl, so you might as well get some sleep.
 * Laura: I hope God wants a girl.
 * SpongeBob: BLAUGH!! F**k off, girl!


 * Charles: [about Caroline after the baby's death] She's got a lot of strength, that woman.
 * Mr. Edwards: That she does.
 * Tillie Plink-Winnings: [grabs a sharp knife; threatening to lynch Mr. Edwards, who is shocked] Tillie'll BEAT YOUR ASS THE F****K OUT!!!
 * Charles: Laura's the one I'm worried about. She's taking this a lot harder than the rest of us. I try talking to her about it, but she just avoids it.
 * Mr. Edwards: Well, it's only been a few weeks. Time takes care of everything. Tillie Plink-Winnings: Motherf***ers'nt the one!; in fact, Tillie want to have a full-hour plastic surgery——— [Charles points a rifle towards her]!
 * Charles: KILL YOURSELF!



The Lord is My Shepherd (2) [1.14]

 * Jonathan: Everyone has a mean thought once in a while.
 * Laura: Not my Ma and Pa.
 * Jonathan: Well, maybe just a little one. But the point is, you do good things to make up for it like taking care of that bird. Why, most folks would just walk right past it and not do a thing.
 * Laura: I couldn't do that.
 * Jonathan: Of course not, but some folks do. Always in such a hurry. Always too busy to think about another one of God's creatures. All that time they spend thinking about themselves.
 * Laura: I bet that makes God angry.
 * Jonathan: Angry? Yes, but mostly sad.
 * Laura: I never thought of God being sad like regular people.

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 * Jonathan: [to Laura] Patience, child.
 * Laura: I can't help it. Pa says children aren't supposed to have any.
 * Jonathan: Your Pa sounds like a bright man.
 * Laura: Oh, he is. So's my Ma. She used to be a schoolteacher and she knows a bunch of stuff.
 * Jonathan: You're quite fond of your folks.
 * Laura: Sure. Everybody loves their Ma and Pa.
 * Jonathan: Then how come you ran off?
 * Laura: I can't tell you.
 * Jonathan: Fair enough.
 * Laura: I wish I could tell you, Mr. Jonathan, but it's just between me and God.

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 * Laura: I don't want Pa to find me until God answers.
 * Jonathan: He has answered.
 * Laura: No, he hasn't!
 * Jonathan: He has answered and He's made His decision. That's why He sent your Pa. He wants you to be with your Pa and your brother to be with Him.
 * Laura: That isn't what I wanted. Pa wants a son!
 * Jonathan: No, child. That's what you thought he wanted. Only God knows best about these things. That's why He sent your Pa here because He knows that your Pa loves you and needs you. How else could your Pa have found you?
 * Laura: How can you be sure?
 * Jonathan: He told me, child.

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Family Quarrel [1.16]
Daizy: Why did you talk like that?

Laura: 'Cause you hit me! [blows a raspberry, then laughs]

Little Women [3.14]

 * Mr. Edwards: [angrily] Eva Beadle, out of the school! You're grounded stand the corner for Willie and Laura for two months!
 * Miss Beadle (and other teachers): [angrily] FINE! You're Willie and Laura stay stand the nose in the corner for Willie and--
 * Mr. Edwards: You know what, Eva Beadle! OUT OF MY SCHOOL, RIGHT NOW!!!
 * Miss Beadle (and other teachers): No! I will never seen it again! We're NEVER!
 * Mr. Edwards: No stand the corner for you, Willie and Laura for two months!
 * Uncle John: Are you serious?
 * Ms. Beadle (and other teachers): I always killing grounded!
 * Mr. Edwards: Let's call the police and throws the prison!
 * Uncle John: Eva Beadle, this means no corner for Willie and Laura for three months!

Castoffs [4.01]

 * Charles [to Laura as he brings the new dog into the barn] Hey, Half-Pint. Look what followed me home from Mankato. He's just a stray, but he's a good dog. He's smart. [the dog starts licking Laura's face] Hey, look at that, he's really taking a shine to you! He can be yours, if you want.
 * Laura: I don't want him.
 * Charles: Oh, come on. He just wants to give you a little loving, that's all.
 * Laura: I DON'T WANT HIM! [runs out of the barn]

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 * Laura: I can't love some dog that just chases his tail all the time!
 * Kezia: Pretty smart little fellow, if you ask me. You wouldn't play with him, so he made do with what he had.

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Times of Change [4.02]

 * Mary: I don't think I'll ever be happy again.
 * Charles: Oh, yes, you will. You don't believe that now, but you wait and see. One of these days, this will all be over and forgotten. You'll meet a new beau, and you'll fall in love again.
 * Mary: [starts crying] No, I won't. Love is too painful.
 * Charles: Oh, come on. Shhh. [hugs Mary]
 * Mary: Nothing makes sense anymore.

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 * Laura: Falling in love is such a waste of time. I'm going to stay right here with Pa forever and ever!

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 * Charles: [to John] Do you love her?
 * John: I care for her deeply.
 * Charles: I asked you if you were in love with my daughter.
 * John: No, sir.
 * Charles: How long have you known?
 * John: I'm not sure. When you're far apart, it's easy to avoid knowing the truth. But seeing her again, I knew. And I did plan to tell her, but in a letter when she got back to Walnut Grove.
 * Charles: When she got back to Walnut Grove. And I'm supposed to understand that, too?
 * John: I'm a writer. The words come easier on paper.
 * Charles: When you first told my daughter you loved her, did you write her a letter about it?
 * John: This is different. I can't face her.
 * Charles: John, Mary has a right to hear this from you and she has the right to let you know how she feels. You owe her that much.

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My Ellen [4.03]

 * Eloise: [to Laura] Oh, my Ellen. My beautiful Ellen!
 * Laura: Mrs. Taylor--
 * Eloise: No. No! Say "I love you, Mama." [Laura looks stunned and doesn't say anything] Say "I love you, Mama."
 * Laura: I.....I love you, M-mama.
 * Eloise: [hugs Laura] Oh, and I love you! Oh, promise me. Promise me you'll never leave me again. You promise?
 * Laura: I--I promise.

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 * Eloise: Stop it, Ellen! Stop it!
 * Laura: Mrs. Taylor, I'm not Ellen!
 * Eloise: No!
 * Laura: I'm not Ellen, I'm Laura!
 * Eloise: No, NO!
 * Laura: ELLEN'S DEAD! See? That's her grave. Ellen is dead.

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A Most Precious Gift [4.20]

 * Andrew Garvey: I suppose your Pa wants a boy.
 * Laura: What's so great about boys, anyway?
 * Andrew: Well, can you fix the barn roof?
 * Laura: Sure. Can you have a baby?

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 * Carrie: Pa! Pa! Look what I found!
 * Charles: What is it, honey?
 * Carrie: Eggs!
 * Charles: Oh, no, honey. You shouldn't have done that. Chicks aren't born the way humans are.
 * Carrie: But I didn't mean anything. I'll put them back.
 * Charles: I'm afraid they're not gonna hatch. They'll be too cold without their mama.
 * Carrie: All because of me?
 * Charles: Hey, now, don't feel so bad. It's not your fault. You didn't know.
 * Carrie: I know! I'll be their mama!
 * Charles: What?
 * Carrie: I'll take care of them myself, and then they'll hatch!
 * Charles: I'm afraid it just won't work.
 * Carrie: It'll work, Pa! They never saw their real mama! I'm gonna go put them under my pillow right now!

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 * Caroline: You know, sometimes, when we're all sitting at dinner, I feel like there's someone missing, and now that place will be filled by our son.
 * Charles: I don't know why you have to keep saying that. We don't know for sure if it's going to be a boy.
 * Caroline: Because I want a boy, for you.
 * Charles: Well, I don't! Not if it means nine months of misery.
 * Caroline: You built this cradle for our son.
 * Charles: Caroline, I built the cradle for our child!
 * Caroline: I've seen you with Andy, working together.
 * Charles: Exactly! If I want someone to help me around the farm, I'll hire him! I don't have to father him!
 * Caroline: You don't understand.
 * Charles: All right, what if you weren't pregnant? If you weren't pregnant, then we wouldn't have anything to worry about, would we? Caroline, when we had the girls, all we cared about was having a healthy, happy family. That's all.
 * Caroline: Well, of course I want him to be healthy!
 * Charles: HIM! Why does it always have to be "him?" Caroline, we had a son, and he died. It's over. God, you're... you're as bad as Carrie with her dead eggs, trying to give birth to chicks!

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I'll Be Waving as You Drive Away (1) [4.21]

 * Dr. Burke: [to Charles about Mary] I didn't know your daughter had scarlet fever, Mr. Ingalls.
 * Charles: Yeah, she had scarlet fever.
 * Dr. Burke: How bad was it?
 * Charles: It was bad. It was scarlet fever. What is it?
 * Dr. Burke: The scarlet fever damaged the eye nerves. Weakened them.
 * Charles: How long until she's better?
 * Dr. Burke: I'm afraid she won't get better. The condition only worsens. Mr. Ingalls....Mary is going blind.
 * Charles: There must be some mistake.
 * Dr. Burke: I'm afraid not. I wish there was some medicine or treatment that would help, but there just isn't.
 * Charles: There....some.....something. There must be something.
 * Dr. Burke: It would have to be in the nature of a miracle, beyond the skill or knowledge of a doctor.

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 * Caroline: [to Doc Baker about Mary] I don't know what to do anymore. She says she's a burden to us and she hates it. I tell her it isn't true, but it just doesn't do any good.
 * Doc Baker: This might sound harsh, Caroline, but I think you're trying to do too much. She has to learn to do for herself, if she's to have any kind of life.
 * Charles: But she can't do for herself, Doc. We have to take care of her.
 * Doc Baker: Do too much and she'll retreat to bed, and she'll stay there. I haven't been trained in caring for the blind, and neither have you. She needs the help of people who have.
 * Charles: Well, where do we find those people?
 * Doc Baker: There's schools for the blind. The nearest and one of the best is in Burton, Iowa.
 * Caroline: That's so far away! No, she needs her family.
 * Doc Baker: Caroline, she's living in fear and resentment. With the proper help and training, she'll be a different person.
 * Charles: The doctor's right, Caroline. Can you contact them for us?
 * Doc Baker: Certainly. Believe me, Caroline, it's what's best for Mary.

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 * Mary: I've never heard of any of those schools around here.
 * Caroline: It's not around here. It's in Iowa.
 * Mary: Yeah, I understand. You just want to get me out from underfoot.
 * Caroline: Mary, that's not true, and you know it.
 * Mary: [starts to cry] Then don't send me away. Please don't send me away, let me stay here! I don't want people looking at me, feeling sorry for me. Please let me stay, Ma. Please let me stay!
 * Caroline: Mary, I don't want to send you away, but if they can help you... you can't spend the rest of your life sitting in that chair!
 * Mary: WHY NOT? Why not? Why can't I just sit here? There's nothing for me to see. It's dark no matter where I go. It's just darkness. You've already decided to send me, haven't you?
 * Caroline: Yes, we have.

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I'll Be Waving as You Drive Away (2) [4.22]

 * Adam: [to Mary] All you think about is being blind. You happen to be a very capable person who just happens to not be able to see with her eyes. When are you going to get on with living?
 * Mary: Get out.
 * Adam: Pitying yourself won't help. Blind people are just as good or as bad as everyone else. You're not special!
 * Mary: [throws her dinner plate at the wall] I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT!
 * Adam: That roast beef was good. You'll find some extra towels on the top shelf of the closet. This is your room as long as you're here. If you make a mess, you clean it up. See you in the morning.

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 * Mary: I'd prefer to eat by myself.
 * Adam: When you eat in the dining room, you can pick your own company. But for now, this is schoolwork, so you'll have to eat with the teacher.
 * Mary: I don't like people looking at me!
 * Adam: Why? Cause you eat with your fingers? Nothing to feel bad about. Most folks do until they learn.
 * Mary: Look, my parents didn't send me here so you could teach me table manners!
 * Adam: Yes, they did. It's all a part of learning. Now just because you're blind doesn't mean you have to eat like an animal!

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 * Adam: I'll be waving as you drive away.

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May We Make Them Proud (1) [6.21 & 6.22]

 * Jonathan: [in tears] Oh, dear God, Charles, I keep thinking this is all a dream, and I'm gonna wake up, and Alice is gonna be here.
 * Charles: Well, if she was here, what do you think she'd say to you? What do you think she'd say to you?
 * Jonathan: I don't know!
 * Charles: She'd say, "Jonathan Garvey, what in God's sake is wrong with you?" That's what she'd say. She'd say, "What in God's sake is wrong with you, man I love? What is wrong with you?" That's what she'd say, isn't it, friend?

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 * Charles: [to Jonathan] Why don't you come to Church with us on Sunday? It helps, believe me.
 * Jonathan: Thank God for letting my wife die? That's what He did, ain't it? That's what He did for me. He let her die. And you want me to praise Him?
 * Charles: Jonathan.
 * Jonathan: No. If you want to believe, that's fine for you, but not for me.

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 * Adam: As some of you may know, I was back East last week in New York. I spent some time with my father and told him about the tragedy we have had. You'd all have to know the way my father was in the past to realize what a miracle it is when I tell you that he has asked to be able to finance the rebuilding of the blind school. Believe me, I will never again look at any man on the face of the Earth and say that he'll never change. My father did make one request, that he be allowed to name the new school. He sent this plaque back with me. Mary? Jonathan? [Mary, Jonathan and Andy step forward] We dedicate this school in memory of Alice Garvey and Adam Charles Holbrook Kendall. [unveils the plaque] May we make them proud.

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He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (1) [6.26]

 * Laura: [about Almanzo] I can't lose him.
 * Caroline: What makes you so sure you're gonna lose him?
 * Laura: Well, he said that he just can't wait two years.
 * Caroline: I see. So if he doesn't get his own way, his love for you just goes away?

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 * Percival: Mrs. Oleson, you are not paying me enough to be insulted. Now, my advice to you is...
 * Harriet: Don't you advise me, young man! You come in here and...
 * Percival: WILL YOU BE QUIET?! Now, my advice to you is to forget about Nellie's Place. If Caroline's willing to stay and run the place, fine. Otherwise, forget it. Your daughter has no intention of making a go of it.

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 * Laura: [to Charles about Almanzo] He left?
 * Charles: Yeah.
 * Laura: He wouldn't just leave. What did you say to him?
 * Charles: I told him you two would have to wait.
 * Laura: I'm not gonna lose him, Pa. If waiting means that I'm going to lose him, then I'm not gonna wait. I mean it, Pa!

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He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (2) [6.27]

 * Nellie: I'm too tall!
 * Mrs. Oleson: Well, don't blame me! It's your father's fault. Everybody's tall on his side of the family.
 * Mr. Oleson: Your mother's right. Her side is just fat.
 * Mrs. Oleson: How dare you!

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 * Nellie: [to Percival] I have something to tell you. I love you. I love you.
 * Percival: I don't know what to say.
 * Nellie: Well...do you?
 * Percival: Yes. I love you, too. But what about....I'm not going to get any taller.
 * Nellie: And I'm not gonna get any shorter!
 * Percival: Will you marry me?
 * Nellie: Yes. Oh, yes!

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 * Almanzo: [to Laura] I didn't want you to feel like you had to be nice to me because of the money.
 * Laura: Be nice to you? I love you, you silly man! Nobody could ever love you as much as I do.

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To See the Light (1) [7.10]

 * Mary: [to Adam] When would you go to take the test?
 * Adam: Well, I've only got four weeks to study for it, and I'm not going to be able to do any teaching during that time. I know it's going to be a real burden on you and Hester Sue.
 * Mary: We can manage. Besides, summer break's coming up in three weeks.
 * Adam: And I promised you a trip to Walnut Grove. I'll make it up to you. When I'm a lawyer, I'll have enough money to go anywhere in the world you want to go. Paris or Rome! Oh, Mary, I can do this! I got this feeling, like God came down, gave me my sight back and said, "Okay, let's see what you can do with it."

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 * Adam: [about the world] I just can't believe it. I can't believe the colors! It's so much more vivid than I remember. The greens and the blue in the sky, and the most vivid of all, the blue in your eyes.
 * Mary: Adam!
 * Adam: Well, it's true. I've never seen eyes as blue as yours. You are so beautiful!
 * Mary: What if I hadn't been?
 * Adam: What?
 * Mary: What if I hadn't been beautiful? I mean, suppose you looked at me for the first time and thought, "Yuck, she's a toadface!"
 * Adam: Well, I'd never think that. You'd be beautiful to me no matter what you look like. I love you, but I must admit, I am happy that you're beautiful.

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 * Adam: I don't even know where to begin. When this first happened, when I regained my sight, it had a great effect on me. The way I feel and think about things. I used to love teaching. I found it challenging and exciting, and and I really thought it was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. But it just isn't. The more I talk to Mr. Davis and the more I study those law books, the more I realize I want to be a lawyer. I have to be a lawyer. I talked to Mr. Davis tonight, and he's arranged for me to go to Minneapolis and take the exam. If I get a good enough grade, I have a chance at a scholarship. I know that's a big "if," but I just have to try. Mary, I want this more than I've wanted anything in my whole life. I can do it. I just know I can do it.

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 * Caroline: Mary, is something wrong?
 * Mary: No. Why do you ask?
 * Caroline: Well, when a mother and daughter have been as close as we have, we tend to notice things about each other that other people wouldn't.
 * Mary: Oh, it's nothing, really. It's just going to take a little getting used to, Adam's sight, I mean. It's like meeting someone again for the first itme.. He can see me and I can't see him. It's a very strange feeling.
 * Caroline: For both of you. Remember, Adam's going to have a lot of adjusting to do, too.
 * Mary: Oh, I know. I told you, it's nothing.
 * Charles: Well, if you two are through reading each other's minds, I'd like to get some sleep.

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To See the Light (2) [7.11]

 * Mary: [to Professor Mayfield] My husband is Adam Kendall.
 * Professor Mayfield: Adam. The name is familiar.
 * Mary: Yes. He was taking the exam this past week.
 * Professor Mayfield: Oh, yes, yes. He was unable to complete it.
 * Mary: That really wasn't his fault.
 * Professor Mayfield: Yes, I understand that. It was most unfortunate.
 * Mary: I wanted to know if there's any way he could complete the test. It means so much to him.
 * Professor Mayfield: I'm sorry, Mrs. Kendall, I wish there was a way, but we can't alter the rules no matter what the circumstances.
 * Mary: Why not?
 * Professor Mayfield: Pardon me?
 * Mary: Why can't they be altered? I mean, this is a school of law, isn't it? If you have a bad law, the court changes it, doesn't it?
 * Professor Mayfield: Yes, the court does have that power.
 * Mary: Then if you have a bad rule, I think it should be changed.
 * Professor Mayfield: I don't believe it is a bad rule. It is a necessary one.
 * Mary: It's a bad rule when it has no compassion or concern for the individual.
 * Professor Mayfield: Mrs. Kendall--
 * Mary: My husband's gone through a lot in his lifetime. He was blinded in an accident when he was a boy. He lost his child in a fire. With all that, he's devoted his life to helping others, to teaching. Now, when it seems like something wonderful's going to happen, you turn against him with some rule! Now, you might think it's necessary, but I happen to think it's cruel!

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 * Adam: [to Mary] Sorry I'm late.
 * Mary: Well, that's all right. How did it go? How did you do?
 * Adam: I know how I did. That's why I'm late. I stayed while the professor graded my exam.
 * Mary: And?
 * Adam: And I did not make the top 3%.
 * Mary: Oh. Well, that's all right. You'll just have to study harder and take the test again next year.
 * Charles: That's right.
 * Adam: There's not gonna be a next year. [smiles] I made the top 1%!
 * Mary: Oh, Adam Kendall, I'm gonna kill you! [hugs him]

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Sylvia (1) [7.17]

 * [After Harriet discovers that Willie has been peeking through Sylvia's bedroom window with the other boys]
 * Harriet: How can you be a Peeping Tom?
 * Willie: I can't. My name's Willie!

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 * Doc Baker: Albert, why don't you wait outside for a minute?
 * Albert: Doc Baker, I want to know what's wrong with Sylvia. I was her beau until her Pa got mad and told her she couldn't see me anymore.
 * Doc Baker: You were? For how long?
 * Albert: I don't know, a few months. Why?
 * Doc Baker: She's with child.
 * Albert: What?
 * Doc Baker: She's with child, son. Have you and her ever--?
 * Albert: No. No.....no! I never.....I nev--oh, God! [runs out]
 * Laura: Albert! He's not lying, Doc.
 * Doc Baker: I believe him.

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 * [After Mr. Webb learns that Sylvia is pregnant]
 * Mr. Webb [to Sylvia]: You'll stay around the house from now on. I don't want you going into town. I'll go into the bank tomorrow and see about the farm getting sold.
 * Sylvia: Where will we go?
 * Mr. Webb: I don't know. Doesn't matter. Some place where folks don't know us. We'll tell them your husband was killed in an accident.
 * Sylvia: You blame me for this, don't you? Don't you?
 * Mr. Webb: You reap what you sow. [leaves the room]

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Sylvia (2) [7.18]

 * Caroline: Please leave, Mrs. Oleson.
 * Harriet: Mrs. Ingalls, I am trying very hard to be your friend, and I would think you would show a little more appreciation. After all, you are going to be that child's grandmother!
 * Caroline: Mrs. Oleson, I will go to Church on Sunday, and I will ask God to forgive me for this. [throws a ball of dough in Mrs. Oleson's face] On second thought, I think the good Lord would have done the same thing! [throws her apron down and walks away]

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 * Charles: Listen to me, Albert. I know you care for this girl. I know you feel sorry for her, but you can't marry someone because you feel sorry for them.
 * Albert: I want to marry her because I love her! And the baby isn't mine, but it's part of her, of someone I love.
 * Charles: It's not the same thing.
 * Albert: Then you lied to me, Pa! I'm not your real son, but you said you loved me just the same. Were you lying?

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 * [When Mr. Webb loads his gun to kill Albert]
 * Sylvia: Pa, no! He's my friend! He was only here for a few minutes and then he left!
 * Mr. Webb: What was he doing here? What was he doing?
 * Sylvia: Nothing! Pa, please believe me. Believe me for once!
 * Mr. Webb: I can't! How can I believe a whore?

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The Lost Ones (1) [7.21]

 * Laura: [voiceover] As the weeks passed, I noticed a great change in James and Cassandra. They became more and more withdrawn in my class. They were never allowed to come see Ma and Pa. Something was wrong in their new home, but they would never say a word about it.

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 * James: [to Albert] Why didn't you ever tell me you were an orphan?
 * Albert: It just never came up, I guess. Being an orphan, it's not so bad.
 * James: It's bad enough.
 * Albert: [about the orphanage] Hey, listen. There are all these other kids and you'll have lots of friends.
 * James: [near tears] I just wish I didn't have to go.
 * Albert: I know. I know.

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 * James: Mr. Ingalls?
 * Charles: Yeah, son?
 * James: Couldn't Cassandra and I come and live with you?
 * Charles: I'm afraid not, son.
 * James: Why?
 * Charles: Well, if you saw my house, you wouldn't ask that. It's kind of small. Way too small for the family I've got.
 * James: Cassandra and me, we wouldn't take up much space, and we'd be real good about our chores. I mean, when she gets better.
 * Charles: You don't know how much I wish I could say yes.
 * James: Please. I don't want to go on that train.
 * Charles: I'm sorry, son.

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 * James: [as he consoles Cassandra, who is crying] Cassandra? I meant what I said to Mr. Ingalls. You and me, we'll always be together. We're family. Even if there's never anyone else, we're gonna be just... [takes Cassandra's hand] just fine.

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The Lost Ones (2) [7.22]

 * Charles: Caroline, this is James.
 * Caroline: Hello, James.
 * Charles: And this is Cassandra.
 * Caroline: Welcome to our home. [Cassandra bursts into tears and grabs Caroline around the waist] What in the world? Oh, it's all right. It's all right.
 * James: [in a trance] Ma. She looks like.....Ma! I almost thought you were.

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 * Caroline: [to Cassandra, who doesn't want to leave Caroline and go to school] Those children sure do make lots of noise at recess. You know, you're smart not to go to school with James. My daughter's a very hard teacher. You'll see tonight. James is going to have a lot of homework. I'll help him with it, though. You'll be the lucky one. You'll be sleeping while James and I are working on his studies. Oh, I bet he won't be through until 8 or 8:30. I love it, though. I used to be a teacher, and I just love helping children with their homework. Yes, indeed. James and I will be spending a lot of evenings together.
 * Cassandra: I want homework.
 * Caroline: What?
 * Cassandra: I want homework!
 * Caroline: Well, if you want homework, you're gonna have to go to school. [Cassandra smiles, hugs Caroline tight, and runs off to school]

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 * Cassandra: I got an A on a test today!
 * Caroline: Did you?
 * Charles: That's not an easy thing to do. My daughter is pretty tough on grades.
 * Cassandra: I really like her!
 * James: I never used to have fun at school.
 * Charles: Yeah, well, school can't all be fun.
 * James: But most of it is.

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 * Laura: [voiceover] So James and Cassandra came to live with Ma and Pa and Albert and Carrie and baby Grace. The little house was full of love!

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The Reincarnation of Nellie (1) [8.01]

 * Mr. Oleson: [about Nancy] Harriet, be reasonable! This child is just... so....
 * Mrs. Oleson: She's just what, Nels?
 * Mr. Case: I believe a kind word to describe her would be "impossible."
 * Mrs. Oleson: Oh, men! You just don't understand little girls.
 * Miss Mason: Mrs. Oleson, I have to be honest, I don't understand, either. In just the four weeks that Nancy has been here, she's set fire to her bed, broken more windows than I can count, poured plaster into the indoor plumbing, and bitten half the children in the orphanage.
 * Mrs. Oleson: Girls will be girls.
 * Mr. Oleson: Harriet, I believe the term is "Boys will be boys" or in this case, it should be "Monsters will be monsters!" Harriet, I don't understand you! Out of all the children in the orphanage, why her?
 * Mrs. Oleson: I don't know, but I want her.

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 * Caroline: Cassandra, it's your turn to say grace tonight. Maybe you could remember Nancy in the blessing.
 * Cassandra: Do I have to?
 * Caroline: No, you don't have to, but I think it would be nice if you did.
 * Cassandra: Yes, ma'am. Dear Lord, thank you for all your blessings. Please watch over our family and gives us strength. And Lord, I'm sure you know by now that we have a new student in school. Her name is Nancy. Please help her change her ways and be nice. I know it won't be easy, so if you can't change her, just do what you feel is best. [Charles bursts out laughing; Caroline gives him a dirty look] That's about it, Lord. Thank you. Amen.

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 * Mrs. Oleson: All right, Nancy. If you won't open the door, then you're going to have to listen to me. You know, I had a little girl once—very much like you. She was different from the rest of the children. All the little girls hated her because she had such pretty clothes and great big, lovely dollies. I bought them from Paris. The little boys didn't like her very much, either. I used to tell her it was because she was too mature for them….but that wasn't the truth. I'm going to tell you something, Nancy, something I've never told anyone else, not even my husband. Children hated my little Nellie because she was mean, and spoiled, and conniving. And I understood that because I was the exact same way when I was a child. So you see, Nancy, I do understand you and you don't have to change. I'll love you just the way you are. And I'll spoil you with beautiful dresses, and big lovely dollies, and all the candy you could eat! And then, maybe...maybe someday, maybe, you'll learn to love me, too. Please, Nancy. Please give me a chance to be your mother.

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The Reincarnation of Nellie (2) [8.02]

 * Nancy: [to Willie] You ripped my homework paper!
 * Willie: That's right, I did. And I'm gonna rip your lips off if you don't stop lying!
 * Nancy: MOTHER! MOTHER!

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 * Willie: Nobody's jealous of Nancy. Nobody wants to be in the pageant because nobody likes her!
 * Mrs. Oleson: Willie!
 * Willie: It's true! She's mean and she's nasty. Nastier than Nellie ever was. She knew Belinda was in the ice house when I closed the door. She wanted her to get sick so she could be the star of the pageant.
 * Nancy: That's a lie!
 * Willie: No, it's the truth!
 * Mrs. Oleson: Willie, how dare you make up a story like that. Go to your room right now!
 * Willie: I didn't expect you to believe me. I'm only your son!

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 * Nancy: [after finding out the truth about the mermaid booth] You let me out of here now!
 * Albert: Nope. You wanted to be the mermaid.
 * Nancy: You lied to me!
 * Albert: You're the last one to talk about lying. All I said was that it would be the most popular booth. Look around. Did I lie?

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 * Laura: [voiceover] Nancy stayed in the dunk tank for the rest of the day and a lot of people said she was a good sport to do it. Oh, we knew she'd still be nasty, but she'd be better because she knew folks cared enough about her not to let her get away with things she shouldn't. So think about that the next time your folks punish you.

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For the Love of Nancy [8.09]

 * Albert: [about Elmer] He seems friendly enough.
 * Willie: Fat people are always friendly. Well, they are!

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 * Mrs. Miles: [to Jess, who isn't eating his food] Why can't you be more like Elmer?
 * Elmer: Leave him alone, will you?
 * Mrs. Miles: Elmer!
 * Elmer: Why do you make him eat all the time? Do you want him to get fat and have all the kids make fun of him, and not have any friends? Is that what you want? Well, maybe he's just not hungry! [storms out]
 * Mrs. Miles: What on Earth has gotten into that boy?
 * Mr. Miles: Sounds like good sense to me.

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 * Laura: Is this your idea of a joke, Nancy?!
 * Nancy: Mr. Wilder! I had no idea!
 * Laura: What do you mean?! Isn't this your homework?!
 * Nancy: NO!!!!!! I mean yes! It is... but I...!
 * Laura: In the corner!
 * Nancy: What?!
 * Laura: IN THE CORNER!!!!!!!!
 * Willie: Laura, calm down, take it deep breath.

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 * Elmer: Nancy, please! There must have been some mistake, I swear!
 * Nancy: Don't ever talk to me again, you big fat slob!

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 * Albert: [to Elmer] I thought it was mean to call you those names, but you seemed to enjoy it. Maybe if you had asked us to stop, things wouldn't have gotten so bad. I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying we all have our faults. Isn't that right, Nancy?
 * Nancy: Mother and I spent hours trying to think of one for me and we couldn't come up with a single solitary fault.

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 * Nancy: Give me that ball!
 * Cassandra: NO!!!!!!
 * Nancy: I said give it to me!
 * Cassandra: NO!!!!!!
 * Nancy: Well if you won't let me pitch, I want to be the captain!
 * Cassandra: You're not on my team!
 * Nancy: Albert, I want to play!
 * Albert: Not on my team!
 * Nancy: Oh we'll just see about that! Elmer! Elmer, Albert won't let me... ELMER!!!!
 * Elmer: Sorry, Nancy. You have to work things out for yourself from now on.

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Uncle Jed [8.15]

 * Charles: Jed, I can't believe you're saying this to me! First, you talk about giving the children a choice--
 * Jed: If everything had turned out the way I planned, things would be kinder all around.
 * Charles: Kinder? Don't you tell me about kinder! Things don't turn out the way you want and then you want to take my children!
 * Jed: I'm sorry, I truly am. But Charles, take my advice. Don't go up against me, because you won't win.
 * Charles: We'll see about that. You bring your judge and you bring your lawyer. We'll see about that!

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 * Harriet: [during the court proceedings for James and Cassandra] Oh, how I wish I could be a little fly on that wall!
 * Nels: So do I. Flies have a tendency to get swatted.

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 * Cassandra: [as she recites her poem for school] Once, I was lost, and scared, and cold. You have no family, I was told, except a brother to keep me warm in any winter and any storm. He was as lost and scared as I, but brave enough not to cry. We'll make it through, is what he said, even though Ma and Pa are dead. But in my heart, I could not see how life without them could ever be. They lay in cold silence beneath the sod. To save us would be a miracle from God. The miracle came like a glorious dawn, just when it seemed all hope was gone. We give thanks to God in his heaven above for our new family's unbounded love.

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Days of Sunshine, Days of Shadow (1) [8.17]

 * Laura: [while in bed with Almanzo] I know we've had a hard time choosing a name, but I have the perfect one if it's a girl. Cassandra brought me a rose today, and I just thought, "That's it. Rose Wilder." It's perfect. What do you think? Almanzo? [turns around to see that Almanzo is sound asleep; smiles] Rose Wilder it is.

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 * Eliza Jane: How's Laura?
 * Caroline: [turning to Almanzo] She's fine, and so is your new baby daughter! Meet Rose Wilder! Isn't she beautiful?
 * Almanzo: Good thing it's a girl. A man can't very well play ball with his son when he's a cripple!

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 * Laura: [to Almanzo] You don't need a wheelchair! You could only walk if you tried!
 * Almanzo: We've been all through this. You don't know what it's like.
 * Laura: And you don't know what it's like for me to watch my husband just give up! I think you want to be a cripple.
 * Almanzo: What kind of thing is that to say?
 * Laura: The truth, that's what!
 * Almanzo: Beth, you know that I have tried.
 * Laura: Oh, yes. Just long enough to give up. Doc Baker gave you exercises, and you won't even do them!
 * Almanzo: They don't work! Can't you understand that?
 * Laura: No, I don't! I don't understand anything about you anymore!

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 * Mrs. Foster: Oh, Laura. When are you moving to Minneapolis?
 * Laura: When it snows on the Fourth Of July!

Days of Sunshine, Days of Shadow (2) [8.18]

 * Almanzo: I don't want anyone taking care of me. Not you, not Laura. Nobody.
 * Eliza Jane: You have no choice.
 * Almanzo: Yes, I do. I can die.
 * Eliza Jane: Almanzo, you don't mean that!
 * Almanzo: I pray for it every night. If there's a God in Heaven, He'll let me die. Please go away, Eliza Jane. Go away.

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 * Eliza Jane: [to Almanzo] What are you doing?
 * Almanzo: I'm building a house for me and my family to live in.
 * Eliza Jane: Why? We're moving to Minneapolis. You can't build a house here!
 * Charles: Eliza Jane--
 * Eliza Jane: Look, this came today! It's a job, Almanzo. A proper job! One you can handle from your wheelchair. Now you don't have to worry about this silly farm anymore.
 * Charles: Maybe Almanzo doesn't think this is a silly farm.
 * Eliza Jane: He'll be a lot better off once we get him to Minneapolis.
 * Charles: He doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in that chair!
 * Eliza Jane: It's not my doing that he's in the wheelchair.
 * Charles: Isn't it? It seems to me that as long as you were doing everything for him, he had no reason to get out of it.

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 * Almanzo: [to Eliza Jane] I'm standing on my own two feet and I don't want you to take that away from me.
 * Eliza Jane: Almanzo!
 * Almanzo: You've always been my big sister. I've listened to you, looked up to you. I always thought you knew what was best for me.
 * Eliza Jane: I do want what's best for you!
 * Almanzo: I know you do. But you need to let me decide what that is from now on.
 * Eliza Jane: This job! It's what we've been waiting for!
 * Almanzo: It's what you've been waiting for. I want to be a farmer. That's all I've ever wanted out of the whole world. After we finish raising the house and working the fields for next year's crops two weeks ago, I didn't know what I was going to do. Now I do.
 * Eliza Jane: [backs away and starts crying] After everything I've done for you, I can't believe you're going to throw it all away! [runs off]
 * Almanzo: [to Charles] I didn't want to hurt her like that.
 * Charles: She'll be all right.

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 * Almanzo: [to Laura about the new house] I know it's small. We're all gonna be living in one room for a while.
 * Laura: I'm used to that.
 * Almanzo: And you'll have to fetch the water from the well, because there's no pump in the kitchen like before.
 * Laura: I'm used to that, too.
 * Almanzo: We're gonna be downright poor for a time, but the Farmer's Almanac predicts a good year. Cool summer, mild winter.
 * Laura: If the Almanac says it's so, it's so.
 * Almanzo: We're right back where we started, you might say, but the land is ours and nobody can take it away from us.
 * Laura: They better not try!
 * Almanzo: Welcome home, Beth. [they hug each other]

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A Promise to Keep [8.19]

 * Mr. Edwards: Charles, uh...I was just gonna have a drink, Charles. With what everything that's happened, you could probably use one as much as me.
 * Charles: My son could lose his leg because of your drinking.
 * Mr. Edwards: It was an accident, Charles. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
 * Charles: Isaiah, what's happened to you?
 * Mr. Edwards: What's happened? I lost my son, my wife. Grace sent me on my way. Says she don't want me near her or the children.
 * Charles: Why?
 * Mr. Edwards: Because I drink. I drink! I can't find whiskey, I drink cough remedies. I drink.
 * Charles: Then why in God's name don't you stop?
 * Mr. Edwards: Because I can't. Don't you understand that? I can't!
 * Charles: All I understand is that your drinking cost you your family and almost cost me my son's life. [walks away] Go away, Isaiah. I don't want you near me or my family again.

He Was Only Twelve (2) [8.22]

 * Doc Baker: [to Charles] What you're asking for is a miracle.
 * Charles: I've spent my whole life believing in God's word. Why shouldn't I ask for a miracle?

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 * Cassandra: Why does Pa keep talking like James is getting better? Why?
 * Caroline: Because he wants it to be true.
 * Cassandra: But it's not and I can't stand to watch him anymore. Please, Ma, let me go away. Let me stay with Laura. I love James, but... I can't.

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Times Are Changing (1) [9.01]

 * Harriet: Ah, good morning, Laura and Jenny.
 * Laura: Good morning, Mrs. Oleson.
 * Jenny: How did that woman know my name?
 * Laura: That's Mrs. Oleson. She knows everything that goes on in Walnut Grove and what she doesn't know, she makes up!

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 * Laura: [voiceover] It was the spring of 1887. It had been a hard winter for everyone, especially for Pa. He had to sell the farm and move to where he could find the work. He settled the family in Burr Oak, Iowa. Pa came back to get the last of the family's things. He pretended that moving on would be a great thing for the family, but I knew how much he loved his little house on Plum Creek and I could see how he was hurting inside.

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 * Charles: I'm sorry.
 * Mr. Edwards: Don't be.
 * Charles: It's just that I made so many friends here. The best friends I ever had in my life. It's hard leaving them.
 * Mr. Edwards: You say that like we're never gonna see each other again. We will. We're kind of like a bad penny, always turning up.
 * Charles: Watch over my family, will you?
 * Mr. Edwards: You know I will. I'm proud you asked me.

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Times Are Changing (2) [9.02]

 * Jenny: I killed him.
 * Laura: What?
 * Jenny: He was running that day, trying to keep up with me. Why didn't you tell me he was sick? Why?
 * Laura: Jenny, your father asked us not to.
 * Jenny: You should have. This never would have happened if you had told me!
 * Laura: Jenny, now you listen to me. Your father was very sick. Doc Baker told you that.
 * Jenny: I could have taken care of him. I could have helped him live, but instead I killed him.
 * Laura: Jenny, you didn't kill him.
 * Jenny: Leave me alone. Get out and leave me alone!

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 * Jenny: [when she wakes up in bed] How did I get here?
 * Laura: Jeb found your note. He saved your life.
 * Jenny: Why didn't he let me die? It's what I wanted!
 * Laura: What you wanted? Well, maybe it's about time you started thinking of someone else besides yourself.
 * Jenny: I want to be with them. I love them.
 * Laura: If you love them like you say you do, then you would never do anything like this, to hurt them like this! Jenny, your parents loved you more than anything else in the world. They wanted you to have everything. Everything! Your own family, children, their grandchildren! But because of your self-pity, you'll deny them everything?
 * Jenny: That's not true!
 * Laura: Yes, it is! You talk about God and love? God put you on this Earth for a reason just like all of us! You're strong and healthy, and you should get down on your knees and thank the Lord for what you've got! But instead, you just throw it all away, and you nearly cost an innocent boy to lose his life.
 * Jenny: What?
 * Laura: Yes! Jeb Carter nearly drowned trying to save you! His father told me he couldn't swim a stroke, yet he jumped into that water, and he somehow got you out! Now, I don't want to hear anymore about what you want. You start thinking about what your parents would want for you if you love them like you say you do.

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The Wild Boy (1) [9.06]

 * Jenny: [about Matthew] Well, Doctor? What's wrong with him?
 * Doc Baker: I think Matthew's suffering from morphinism. It's a condition that affects normal behavior due to the extended use of morphine. I saw quite a bit of it after the war.
 * Laura: Well, how would he have gotten that way?
 * Doc Baker: My guess is that McQueen has been using his elixir to keep the boy sedated.
 * Mr. Edwards: I'm sorry, Doc, I don't see the connection.
 * Doc Baker: Isaiah, that elixir that McQueen is peddling probably has a morphine base. I'd have to test it to be sure. Anyway, all he had to do was give the boy large doses of the elixir and he was able to control his moods.
 * Mr. Edwards: You mean, that's why the boy was acting crazy?
 * Doc Baker: Exactly. When he wants the boy to go wild, all he has to do is withhold the solution, just long enough for the boy's need to bring on the violence.
 * Jenny: How could anybody do that to a boy?
 * Doc Baker: Oh, Jenny. That and worse may have been done to him. I examined Matthew's throat. At some point in his life, he swallowed some lye, and that's why he can't speak. I hope to God it wasn't done deliberately.

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 * Laura: [about Matthew] It's him! It's the Wild Boy!
 * Jenny: But he's not wild!
 * Almanzo: I said keep away from him! There's no telling what he's gonna do.
 * Jenny: Please! Won't you just listen to me? He's not wild, I tell you! He's a mute! [walks over to Matthew] It'll be all right, Matthew. They won't hurt you. His name's Matthew. He can't talk, but he can hear. He scratched his name in the dirt over there. The reason he acts this way is because Dr. McQueen keeps him locked up in that cage. You'd act wild, too!
 * Laura: I can't believe anybody would do something like this.
 * Almanzo: What I can't understand is how he got here. Jenny, how long have you known about this?
 * Jenny: Just today. Well, see, some of us sneaked into the tent to see him. We were just gonna take a quick peek and leave, honest. Nancy started teasing him and hitting him with a cane. Well, I stopped her. When I was putting the cane back, he reached down and touched my arm. He was scared, and he had this look on his face like.....well, now I know that all he wanted was for someone to help him.

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 * Laura: These are my sign language books. They can teach you to talk with your hands.
 * Mr. Edwards: They can?
 * Laura: It's the way deaf people talk.
 * Mr. Edwards: Matthew can hear just fine.
 * Laura: But he can't talk, can he?
 * Mr. Edwards: That's right, he can't. Trying to understand that boy is about as easy as scratching your ear with your elbow!
 * Laura: Well, I can change that. I can teach Matthew how to talk with his hands, and I can teach you and Jenny how to understand him.
 * Jenny: Wouldn't that be wonderful?
 * Mr. Edwards: You think you can? I'm kind of a bonehead.
 * Laura: [laughs] I know I can.

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The Wild Boy (2) [9.07]

 * [When Matthew is ordered by a judge to be sent to an asylum]
 * Mr. Edwards: I find this whole thing amazing. A boy like Matthew is able to say more with his heart than most of us can ever say with our mouths. I guess today, this boy was judged to be unstable, not normal. See, um, I haven't had a whole lot of schooling, so I don't quite understand what that means. Maybe somebody can explain it to me. Laura? Doc? (both of them are silent) Maybe I'm not normal. You know what I wanted that boy to do yesterday? I wanted him to run away with me. He refused. You know why he refused? Because he didn't want his friend to get into any trouble with the law. Maybe you could tell me which one of us was acting normal. I mean, how many of us fit that description? John, I recall you helping Almanzo plow his field after working in your blacksmith shop all day long. A lot of people called you crazy for that. Nels, two years ago, when we had the drought, you extended credit to every man in this room. I mean, half of them haven't even paid you back yet! That ain't normal, Nels. Not normal at all. How about you, Reverend? What do you get for all the things you do for us besides an invite to Sunday supper, and the right to hear all our problems? And Doc, you took care of this boy. You gave him your best medical care. Your best! You know what you ought to do, Doc? You ought to wander around this room and gather up all the money that everybody owes you. But you won't do that, will you? You just accept a dozen eggs or a basket of turnips. And Laura, do you know that you taught a wild boy how to speak with his hands? Honey, that's crazy. Crazy! I'll tell you what we ought to do. [walks over to Jenny] We ought to take this little girl right here and send her right along with Matthew, because she met this boy, this "unstable," this "not normal," this "wild boy," and she made a friend! A friend, Judge! You ought to just get a rope and just hitch it around this whole building, and pull us all along with Matthew, because we don't act any more normal than that boy over there! There's something wrong here, something terribly wrong! I love that boy. I'm sorry for taking up your time, Reverend. I'm through. [walks out]

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The Return of Nellie [9.08]
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 * Nellie: And this must be Nancy! Oh, Mother, you're absolutely right! Why, she's just a picture of me at that age.
 * Nancy: I've seen pictures of you when you were my age. We don't look at all alike. I'm way prettier.

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 * Nancy: You love her but you hate me!
 * Harriet: Oh! Oh Nancy!

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 * Nellie: [to Laura] Look at you, you're all grown up!
 * Laura: Well, so are you.
 * Nellie: I've missed you.
 * Laura: Oh, I've missed you, too.
 * Nellie: I can't believe we're saying this to each other! Remember how we used to fight?
 * Laura: I sure do!
 * Nellie: I wonder if you can still beat me up.
 * Laura: I don't know. Wanna fight?

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 * Nels: [about Nancy] Harriet, you are finally going to have to do something about that child. I don't know what, but during the last two weeks, she's gotten almost as bad as when she first came here.
 * Harriet: [hears Nancy slamming and breaking things upstairs] Oh, dear. Nels, what's she done now?
 * Nels: Well, among other things, she poured ink all over Willie's head.
 * Harriet: Oh, the poor child. You know, Nels, she probably....she probably isn't getting enough attention.
 * Nels: Not enough attention? That's all she gets is attention! Something has got to be done!

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 * Nellie: I can't get over that essay. Nancy truly views herself as a helpless victim, surrounded by people who hate her.
 * Nels: Every day, we prove to her the exact opposite. How could she possibly think that?
 * Nellie: I don't know, but Mother's always saying how much Nancy looks like me.
 * Nels: It's true.
 * Nellie: Well, maybe she thinks that's the only reason you adopted her.
 * Nels: Well, I admit it started out that way, but it's not true anymore.
 * Nellie: Then I think you need to prove it to her.
 * Nels: How?
 * Nellie: I'm not sure, but she did get ignored a lot since I've arrived.
 * Nels: She did?
 * Nellie: Think about it. I guess it was a time when we should have made an extra effort to pay more attention to her.

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Marvin's Garden [9.12]

 * Laura: [to Almanzo] I don't think it's such a good idea for Jenny to be spending so much time at Marvin's.
 * Almanzo: Why not?
 * Laura: Well, you saw her. She's exhausted. She could barely keep her eyes open at the dinner table. She hardly even ate anything! I just don't think it's a good idea.
 * Almanzo: Beth, how many times has that child come home so exhausted from playing that she can barely keep her eyes open?
 * Laura: It was different then.
 * Almanzo: How?
 * Laura: She was all right then. How do we know this isn't making her worse? All that walking.....
 * Almanzo: Beth, it's good for her. She's having fun. Don't treat her like an invalid. You said you were gonna give this a chance.

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 * Marvin: [to Jenny] So, you went back to school and they acted different to you. Is that it?
 * Jenny: Yes.
 * Marvin: And you weren't different? You weren't any different from the way you were before? Of course you were.
 * Jenny: But they made me feel uncomfortable.
 * Marvin: That's because they were uncomfortable. They didn't know what to say to you. Land sakes, you've gotta give people a chance.
 * Jenny: Then Nancy said things--
 * Marvin: Nancy said mean things to you. Didn't she always? Didn't she?
 * Jenny: Well, yes, but--
 * Marvin: But nothing. She shouldn't be mean to you now because of what happened to you? That's nonsense. You're upset at the other children because they acted differently. You were upset at Nancy because she acted the way she always does.

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 * Marvin: [to Jenny] What are you gonna do now? Go home and feel sorry for yourself? That'll do you a lot of good.
 * Jenny: You don't understand. You pretended to be my friend, but you don't care. You don't care at all!
 * Marvin: That's it! That's it! Get angry! It's good for you! I do it lots of times, because I'm a doctor and I'm going blind. And that makes me damn angry because I'm still a good doctor and I can't help people anymore! [voice softens] I do understand, and I do care. If I didn't care, I wouldn't have told you to go back to school. I didn't want you to, you know. I wanted you to spend your days here with me. I couldn't wait for you to come every morning. It made me feel that I was still able to help someone, that I was useful. And I wasn't quite so frightened with the coming doctors, because you were around. Jenny, you're my last patient, and you're getting better. You're getting better all the time and you can still keep getting better as long as you fight. You got angry today. Use it! Fight this thing. Show Nancy. Show them all!

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 * Jenny: You don't have to drive me to school tomorrow. I'm gonna walk.
 * Laura: That's an awfully long way. Are you sure?
 * Jenny: I'll make it. Believe me, I'll make it.
 * Laura: [voiceover] And make it she did. Within a few months, Jenny was running to school, and by the end of the year, it was as though the accident had never happened. Jenny was Marvin's last patient and he was proud.

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Home Again (1) [9.16]

 * Charles: [about Albert] I just keep wondering where I went wrong. A man couldn't have asked for a better son than him.
 * Mr. Edwards: It's hard to say. He just got caught in a bad crowd.
 * Charles: But it all happened so fast. Granted, I worked late every night, and I didn't spend the time with him that I should have.
 * Mr. Edwards: Oh, now, don't be blaming yourself for working hard. The boy should have understood that. You've got no reason to feel guilt. You know what I think? I think we go about raising kids all wrong. The minute they get old enough to work, then the father ought to just quit and go off and lay in a hammock somewhere! Right? Let the kids take over. The man's done his share.

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 * Mr. Gibson: [to Charles] If I were to drop the charges against your boy, what would you do? You can't just let it go on like this.
 * Charles: To be honest, I don't know.
 * Mr. Gibson: You've got to get the boy out of the environment that he's in now.
 * Charles: But how?
 * Mr. Gibson: I think that if I were you, I'd take him back home to your little town.
 * Charles: Oh, I wish I could, but I can't. I can't pull up stakes now. My wife has a job here. The children have their schooling, their new friends.
 * Mr. Gibson: Do you have any family there?
 * Charles: Yeah. I have my daughter and her husband.
 * Mr. Gibson: Maybe he could live with them.
 * Charles: Without us?
 * Mr. Gibson: Mr. Ingalls, if things remain as they are, he's going to be living away from home, anyway, in a workhouse.
 * Charles: [as his eyes fill up with tears] I know you're right, but away from the family. Maybe I can talk to my wife. Does that mean that you'll drop the charges?
 * Mr. Gibson: [smiles] Yes. We could go on down to the station house right now if you want. You won't get a good night's sleep after having a cup of my coffee, anyway.

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 * Charles: [to Charles] Your mother and I had a talk.
 * Albert: Oh?
 * Charles: And we decided that it would be best for you if you were out of the city, so I'm going to take you back to Walnut Grove.
 * Albert: I don't want to go back. I have friends here. I like it here.
 * Charles: Albert, what you want and what's going to be are two entirely different things.
 * Albert: I'm not going.
 * Charles: You'll do what I say.
 * Albert: And if I don't?
 * Charles: If you don't, then I'll ask Mr. Gibson to change his mind and press charges against you.
 * Albert: You would do that?
 * Charles: I've have to do that. I'm not going to sit back and watch you destroy your life, and your mother's, and mine. I'm not going to do that. You're not the only one in this family. You're hurting all of us and I'm not going to let it happen anymore.

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A Child with No Name [9.18]

 * Laura: [about naming the baby] It was so much easier when we were sure it was gonna be a girl.
 * Almanzo: Yeah, and the only problem is, I can't think of a boy's name similar to Elizabeth.

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 * Laura: All right, Baby Wilder. Time to greet the morning! [reaches into the baby's crib and stops cold) Baby? [long pause, backs away] Manly? MANLY!
 * Almanzo: Beth, what is it?
 * Laura: There's something wrong. There's something wrong with the baby! Oh, God!
 * Jenny: [walks in as Laura backs away in shock) Aunt Laura, what's wrong? Aunt Laura?
 * Almanzo: [tries to wake the baby up, long silence] Dear God. He's dead. Our baby's dead.

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 * Laura: Doc Baker, I will not have you present at the burial of our child.
 * Almanzo: Beth, please.
 * Laura: No! Not when our son is dead because of him.
 * Doc Baker: Laura!
 * Laura: Just go away. You're not wanted here.

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 * Nels: [to Harriet] You deliberately snubbed Doc Baker.
 * Harriet: Oh, did I?
 * Nels: Yes! He's a fine man, and he's a--
 * Harriet: He's a quack! That's what he is!
 * Nels: He's a friend of mine! And as long as he is, you will be civil to him.
 * Harriet: Oh, is that so?
 * Nels: Yes, that's so. And please keep your totally irresponsible opinions of him to yourself.
 * Harriet: Irresponsible?!?!?
 * Nels: Yes!
 * Harriet: That man should thank his stars that he is walking around free, and not behind bars where he belongs. Why, he as much as murdered Laura's child!
 * Nels: That's not true!
 * Harriet: It is true! And Laura herself believes it!
 * Nels: Laura is a disturbed person! A person in her condition has got to have somebody to blame. Time will bring her around, but you have no reason to--
 * Harriet: You listen to me, Nels Oleson and you listen with both of your ears! The town has turned against Doc Baker.
 * Nels: With no small thanks to you, I'm sure.
 * Harriet: Because he's incompetent, that's why! Can't you get it through your head? I will never, and our children will never go into his office ever again because if we do, that's irresponsible! [storms out]

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 * Doc Baker: Laura, we have a chance to cure Rose, but I want you to know the seriousness of this illness. There is no known medicine. We can only do what I know to do. Can you accept that?
 * Laura: I'll have to. But I want you to know that no matter what happens, nothing will change the way I feel about what happened to my baby boy. Nothing.
 * Doc Baker: [pauses] So be it. My only concern now is to cure Rose.

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May I Have This Dance [9.21]

 * Willie: Mother, I have something to say to you, and I'm only going to say it once, so I want you to pay attention.
 * Harriet: Willie, there's nothing that you have to say--
 * Willie: Mother, I'm talking! You're listening! You've been complaining to me and to Father, and to anyone else in Walnut Grove that'll listen to you, that Rachel is ruining my life. Now I've kept quiet about it because I thought you would realize how wrong you are, but I'm not going to keep quiet about it any longer. If anyone is ruining my chances for a happy life around here, you are!
 * Harriet: Me?!
 * Willie: Yes, you! Rachel is my best chance for a happy life, and I don't ever want to hear you say another unkind word about her. Now, we are going to open up the restaurant. And you can stay here until you accept the fact that Rachel and I are getting married. Because that's exactly what we are gonna do!
 * Harriet: Oh, fine! Fine, go ahead! Marry her, marry her! What do I care? I won't be there, I promise you that!
 * Willie: Fine! That's your decision. Oh, and by the way, Mr. Edwards is going to be my best man! [he and Rachel leave]
 * Harriet: Oh, there, you see? Do you see what that-that wench has done to him?


 * Nels: [smiles] Astonishing.

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 * Nels: [about Rachel and Willie's wedding] Brings back memories, doesn't it, Harriet? Remember how upset my mother was? She didn't want me to quit college and get married. I believe she said that it would ruin my life. But she was wrong. Marrying you was the smartest thing I ever did.
 * Harriet: Do you really mean that?
 * Nels: If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't change a thing.

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 * Willie: [about not going to college and marrying Rachel] You don't think I'm doing the right thing, do you?
 * Nels: Son, if it feels right to you, then it's right. You've got to live your own life, not your mother's or mine.
 * Willie: You mean that?
 * Nels: Of course I mean it. And congratulations. You've picked yourself a fine young lady.
 * Willie: I know.

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Hello and Goodbye' [9.22]

 * Nancy: You're Mr. Montague, the famous writer!
 * Mr. Montague: That is correct.
 * Nancy: Then you know how I must feel. Pouring your entire soul into your writing and then having somebody tell you it's no good.
 * Mr. Montague: I have never had that experience.

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 * Mr. Rogers: [about Matthew] I don't understand. What is he--
 * Mr. Edwards: It's called sign language. He can't talk no other way.
 * Mr. Rogers: But there was nothing wrong when he was a child. He was already beginning to talk.
 * Mr. Edwards: Seems somebody at the workhouse wanted to teach Matthew a lesson, so they forced lye down his throat.

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Little House on the Prairie [1.01]

 * Laura: [voiceover] If I had a remembrance book, I would mark down how it was when we left our little house in the Big Woods to go west to Indian territory. We had to go, Pa said, because so many people had come to live in the Big Woods. There wasn't enough game anymore for him to hunt, and he feared we might go hungry. Ma said we might never again see Grandma and Grandpa, or Aunt Dosey and Aunt Ruby, and Uncle George. Though it made me sad, I still thought it a fine thing to go where there had never been a road before. We'd go where the land was more bountiful, he said. We sold the house, the land and cows, and packed whatever would fit into the wagon. I was glad Pa took his fiddle, for it makes a joyous sound. Mary was afraid to go, but I knew nothing bad could happen as long as we had Pa and Jack. Jack is my best and truest friend, and Pa said there's never been a better watchdog. I knew there would be rivers to cross and hills to climb, and I was glad for this is a fair land, and I rejoiced that I would see it.

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 * Charles: [when Mary and Laura start arguing with each other] The Bible says "Thou shall not argue before breakfast."
 * Caroline: That's not in the Bible, Charles.
 * Charles: Yeah, well, it ought to be.

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 * Caroline: I'm worried about the girls' schooling. I can manage for now, but Mary's got her heart set on being a schoolteacher. She'll need formal training and--
 * Charles: We'll worry about that when the time comes! I'm sorry.
 * Caroline: There's one other thing. I don't see how the girls can grow up properly without ever going to church.
 * Charles: I don't see how they can get any closer to God than they are right here. Now, stop worrying. Everything's going to be fine.

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 * Charles: [to Caroline] I shouldn't have brought you here.
 * Caroline: It's not your fault.
 * Charles: Oh, yes it is. We're here because it's where I want to be. I took you away from your home, your family.
 * Caroline: Now that's nonsense! My home is where you are. And you and the children are my family.
 * Charles: Caroline Ingalls, I love you.

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Look Back to Yesterday [1.02]

 * Albert: [about Walnut Grove] Laura, are you happy here? I mean, now that you're married and you have Rose?
 * Laura: Yeah, I'm very happy. If I had it my way, I'd stay here for the rest of my life.
 * Albert: Me too. I'm going to school to become a doctor, but I want to come back here. This is where life seems to be the best, not in the city where nobody has time for one another.
 * Laura: Will the future "Dr. Ingalls" be giving my family a discount?
 * Albert: Oh, of course. You can pay me with one chicken instead of two.

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 * Charles: How long will the treatments take before you can get him back on his feet?
 * Doctor: Mr. Ingalls, I'm sorry, but well, there is no treatment. Albert's not going to get any better. Only worse.
 * Mr. Edwards: Wait a minute, Doc. Are you trying to tell us that Albert can't be helped?
 * Doctor: Yes, that's right.
 * Charles: I--I don't understand. I mean, he's been fine up until yesterday. He's been a little tired, but--
 * Doctor: Mr. Ingalls, Albert has had this problem for a very long time and now we're just beginning to see the symptoms because it's getting progressively worse.

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 * Charles: [to Albert] I talked to Laura. She and Almanzo are making plans to come and see you before I take you home.
 * Albert: Pa, I've been thinking. I want to go home, but I don't want to go home to Burr Oak. I want to go home to Walnut Grove.
 * Charles: Walnut Grove? But you ought to be with your family.
 * Albert: Pa, just hear me out. I've been trying to think about what I'd like to do with the time I've got left. You know, seeing some of the places I've been talking about going to see, but my mind keeps going back to Walnut Grove.
 * Charles: But your Ma--
 * Albert: I've been thinking about that, too. I've been thinking about Ma, and my brother, and my sisters. Pa, I don't want them to watch me die. That's all they'd be doing, watching it happen. They won't be able to do anything about it. It's better for them.
 * Charles: No. They want to be with you.
 * Albert: But I don't want them to be. I don't have much time left. I want to spend it doing as many things as I can. Things I used to do when I was a kid. I know it sounds selfish, but it's my last chance.
 * Charles: Albert, I understand how you feel, but--
 * Albert: No, you don't understand. Nobody understands how I feel but me. I know you're trying to, but you don't know. It's my time, Pa. Don't you think I have a say in what I want to do with the rest of my life?

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 * Nancy: Could I ask Albert a question?
 * Miss Plum: Well, certainly.
 * Nancy: What's it like knowing you're gonna die?
 * Children: Nancy!
 * Miss Plum: Nancy, I don't think that's any of your business.
 * Albert: Oh, it's all right, Miss Plum. I don't mind talking about it. I, um......well, first, I was scared and angry. But once I started to think about my life, I found that I made myself some wonderful memories--you know, all the good times, all the good friends. And you know, the best thing about it all is that they all took place right here, and that's why I came back, because there's no better place on God's Earth. Just don't waste the time you have left. All of you. Just go out and have a good time, and make yourself lots of good friends. You see, that way, when it's your time to look back and find your memories, you'll see that you won't be scared or angry, either.

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The Last Farewell [1.03]

 * Reverend Alden: [to the Walnut Grove community] I'd like to take a moment to talk to you. Times like these test our faith. Why does God allow a man like Lassiter to exist? Why doesn't the Lord intercede on our behalf? Now, we're good Christians. Why are we the ones to suffer at the hands of a man like this? They're not easy questions to answer. but the fact is.....evil does exist in this world, and it always will. But I believe with God on our side, we will survive--and we'll prosper, for faith and love are the strongest weapons in the world. We must hold those weapons high at times like these, just as we have in the past. We've felt the power of love in this town many times. When adversity struck, we pulled together. We have felt the caring of friends. We have felt something that a man like Lassiter will never feel. And we thank God for that.
 * Mr. Edwards: But I'm feeling something a little different, Reverend. And I'll tell you what I'm feeling. Anger!
 * Reverend Alden: Do you think I don't? Do you think that just because I am a minister, I don't feel those things? Of course, I do. But he owns the land! What good is it to worry about something that is past when we have the future to look to?
 * Mr. Edwards: No, Lassiter's got the future. He moves in here and runs the businesses that we've sweated over for years!
 * Laura: Well, why let him?! There's something we can do. I got mad today, really mad, and you know what I did? I busted some windows. Yeah, it may sound silly, well, maybe it is. But they were our windows and he's not gonna get them. He owns the land, well, let him have it. But he's gonna have an awful lot of fixin' up to do before he starts running our boarding house.
 * John Carter: Listen here. You want to do more than bust a couple of windows? I got a wagon at my place loaded to the gills with dynamite for the mine.
 * Mr. Edwards: All right, by God! If Lassiter wants to kill our town, the least we can do is bury it! Now, what do you say?!
 * All: YEAH!!

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 * Attorney: Well, gentlemen, I wish I had better news for you, but I'm afraid Mr. Lassiter and Company has done quite a job at setting this up.
 * Mr. Oleson: You mean he has a legal right to this town? He can just come in and take it over?
 * Attorney: Legally, he has every right. Morally, he doesn't. However the court will only concern itself, I'm afraid, with the legal aspects of the case.
 * Charles: I can't believe it. I can't believe that the law could be that unfair.
 * Attorney: Neither could the Indians, who were originally given this land.

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 * Laura: Why are you cleaning that rifle?
 * Almanzo: Beth, we've been all through this.
 * Laura: You've been through it! I asked you not to buy it and you went right ahead and did it anyway!
 * Almanzo: [to Laura] Beth, I'm not going to let someone come in here and just take away my property.
 * Laura: (scoffs) He's not going to take it away. He said you could work on it same as always.
 * Almanzo: It's mine, it's not his. I'm not going to be a slave on my own property.
 * Laura: And you'd use that gun to stop him? Answer me!
 * Almanzo: YES! Yes, I would if I had to!

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 * Charles: They're making plans for Friday. A show of force when Lassiter comes into town.
 * Laura: With guns?
 * Charles: Yeah, I'm afraid so. The reverend tried to talk them out of it, but it's no use.
 * Doc Baker: [to Charles] You can't bluff a man like Lassiter, you know that.
 * Charles: You gotta try, Doc.
 * Doc Baker: I'm with you.
 * Laura: I don't understand any of you. No piece of land is worth losing your life over.
 * Charles: You're right. You don't understand.

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Bless All the Dear Children [1.04]
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 * Samuel: [to Laura and Almanzo at an orphanage] Are you here to adopt a boy?
 * Laura: No, we're looking for a little girl.
 * Samuel: I knew it. Everybody wants to adopt a girl.
 * Laura: We're not looking to adopt one. We're looking for our daughter. She's missing and we thought maybe she came here.
 * Samuel: Nobody would come here unless they had to.

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 * Almanzo: [about Rose] She's here somewhere. We're going to find her.
 * Laura: It's so black out. There's not a single star in the sky. You know, I just realized it's Christmas Eve. We should be sitting around the table having turkey, and hanging our stockings. Oh, God, we're never going to find her.
 * Almanzo: We are.
 * Laura: No, we're not! Why did you leave her? I asked you to stay with her!
 * Almanzo: You know what happened.
 * Laura: Oh yeah, I know. I know what happened. Isaiah had one of his stupid fights and you had to leave our baby to go and help him!

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 * Nancy: You really do hate me, don't you?
 * Nels: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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 * Patrick: [to Almanzo and Laura about Rose] This is your last chance. Put her down!
 * Elsa: No, Patrick. No. Leave them alone. She's their daughter. She belongs to them. I took her. I thought they'd never find us. [starts to cry] I wanted a child so much! When I lost my baby, something happened to me. Then I saw Rose, and....the next thing I knew, we were on the train. I'm sorry, Patrick. [they hug each other]
 * Patrick: [to Almanzo and Laura] My wife has been through a terrible time. I know you have every right to press charges against her, but....
 * Laura: There will be no charges.
 * Patrick: Thank you.
 * Elsa: I'm so sorry. I took real good care of her. She's beautiful.

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 * Mr. Edwards: [to Almanzo and Laura about Samuel] He ain't gonna answer. He took off.
 * Almanzo: Now why would he go and do a thing like that?
 * Mr. Edwards: Because he didn't want to go back to the orphanage. I should've known. I should've seen it. He kept asking me what happens when we find Rose? When do we go back? That's why he didn't tell us right off he'd seen her.
 * Laura: We've gotta find him.
 * Mr. Edwards: Let's go.

Laura Ingalls

 * Home is the nicest word there is.
 * Hard working folks only smell bad to people who have nothing better than stick their noses in the air! Well, whenever you stick your nose in the air with me, Nellie Oleson, it's going to get punched! (Laura to Nellie in, 2.01 The Richest Man in Walnut Grove)

Isaiah Edwards

 * Lemon verbena! Anyone who wears lemon verbena is a friend of mine! (Isaiah to Jenny in, 9.01 Times Are Changing)

Andrew Garvey

 * My pa doesn't know anything about football (Andy to his friends in episode 5.03, "The Winoka Warriors". This comment was an inside joke on Merlin Olsen (as Andy Garvey's father Jonathan) who knew everything about football as he played for 15 seasons in the National Football League (all with the Los Angeles Rams) and appeared in the Pro Bowl for 14 of his 15 seasons)

Nels Oleson
Harriet: Nels?

Nels: Yes, dear?

Harriet: Can I ask you something?

Nels: Yes, dear.

Harriet: Am I fat?

Nels: Yes, dear.

Miss Beadle

 * [to Pa] This is your fault! You're killed a dog!
 * Laura stand they other corner. [Uncle John: No, Ms. Beadle, I don't wanna hear it! You're grounded!] What?! No, no, I will never seen it again!
 * Bad dog! Percival, you are a VERY bad dog!
 * Robber, he bit me!
 * Stupid dog!
 * Dakota Norris, don't you walk away of this!

Others

 * Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, then don't remember me at all (Julia Sanderson, 2.08 Remember Me, Part 1)

Jack C. Thomas

 * Eva, you're lying! [Eva: Willie and Laura, go to your room! Please!] I'll kill stand the corner! [Eva Beadle: I never sent I was.]

Catchphrases

 * Mr. Edwards: No peekin'! Can't stand for no peekin'!
 * Nancy Oleson: You hate me!
 * Miss Beadle (and other teachers): In the corner, Willie!? [Mr. Edwards: No, Eva Beadle, you're grounded for a two weeks! Out of my school! NOW!] What?! This so unfair! Mr. Edwards, you won't happen again, or I will kill myself!
 * Robber: [to Miss Beadle] Stand the corner is dead! [leaves]
 * Miss Beadle (and other teachers): [sobbing] Nancy, do you hear it. STAND THE CORNER IS DEAD!!!
 * Miss Beadle (and other teachers): [to dog in the school] Get out! Shoo, shoo, shoo! Kill it!
 * Miss Beadle (and other teachers): [starts to weep] No, I'm not a killed me!
 * Uncle John: Eve Beadle, get in the car! You're grounded!