Lucky Number Slevin

Lucky Number Slevin is a 2006 action/mystery film about a case of mistaken identity that lands Slevin into the middle of a war being plotted by two of the city's most rival crime bosses: The Rabbi and The Boss. Slevin is under constant surveillance by relentless Detective Brikowski as well as the infamous assassin Goodkat and finds himself having to hatch his own ingenious plot to get them before they get him.
 * Directed by Paul McGuigan. Written by Jason Smilovic.

Wrong Time. Wrong Place. Wrong Number.

The Boss

 * Look at me. Look at my smile. Your son is dead.
 * I bet it was that mouth that got you that nose.

The Rabbi

 * If there's one thing I know, is when someone is lying. A man in my position, that's all he has to go on. To know a lie when he hears it: the difference between life and death... your own... someone else's. That being said, he wasn't lying.
 * The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky, Mister Fisher. You are unlucky, so I may know that I am not. Unfortunately the lucky never realize they are lucky until it's too late. Take yourself for instance; yesterday you were better off than you are today but it took today for you to realize it. But today has arrived, and it's too late... You see? People are never happy with what they have. They want what they had. Or what others have...I'm a bad man who doesn't waste time wondering what could've been when I am what could've been and what could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence, and the grass is always green.
 * Since we're not friends and you hate baseball, then why the fuck are you here?
 * My father used to say: "The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."

Slevin Kelevra

 * I'm gonna say what any man with two penises would say, when his tailor asks him if he dresses right or left... Yes.
 * [To the Rabbi and the Boss] The two of you killed everything I ever loved. (Pause) Fuck you both.
 * You can only kill me once.

Mr. Goodkat

 * Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third. Now that's a story. This... is something else.
 * Sorry about that, son. But sometimes there's more to life than just livin'. Besides, you can't have a Kansas City Shuffle without a body.
 * Because it seems to me that your son is worth more to you alive than he is to the Boss dead. And more money is worth more to me than less money.

Lindsey

 * I was thinking that if you're still alive when I get back from work tonight... maybe we could go out to dinner or something?
 * I'm short for my height.
 * Thanks for the sugar, sugar.

Dialogue

 * The Boss: They call him "the Fairy"...
 * Slevin: Why do they call him "the Fairy"?
 * The Boss: [impatiently] Because he's a fairy.
 * Slevin: What, he's got wings, he can fly, he sprinkles magic dust all over the place?
 * The Boss: [angrily] He's a homosexual.


 * Sloe: The guy we lookin' for. His name is uh, his name is-
 * Elvis: His name is Nick, man.
 * Sloe: Nick, yeah. The cat's name is Nick. Now who, who are you?
 * Slevin: I'm Slevin.(Sloe mutters the name confused for a minute)
 * Sloe: You got some ID?(Short pause)
 * Slevin: You see the funny thing about that is I got mugged this morning-
 * Sloe: Hey! Tell it to the one-legged man, so he can bump it off down the road.


 * Slevin: Who are you?
 * The Boss: I'm The Boss.
 * Slevin: I thought he was The Boss.
 * The Boss: Why? Do we look alike?


 * Slevin's Girlfriend: [after Slevin walks in on her cheating on him] This is an accident.
 * Slevin: What, like... He tripped, you fell?


 * Lindsey: How ironic.
 * Slevin: I know, I don't even gamble.
 * Lindsey: No. A mobster with a gay son. Now that's ironic.


 * Sloe: The Boss wants to see you.
 * Slevin: Who?
 * Sloe: The Boss.
 * Slevin: Who's the Boss?
 * Sloe: The guy we work for. Sit
 * Slevin: Look. I'm not the guy you're looking for. I don't live here.
 * Sloe: Yeah well you look like the guy who lives here.
 * Slevin: Man, you don't know what the guy who lives here looks like.
 * Elvis: What he means to say is that you look like you live here.
 * Sloe: Yeah, that's what I mean to say.


 * The Boss: [Showing a picture] This was my son. Notice how I said was? That's because he's dead. Relegated to the past tense. Went from an is to a was before he had his breakfast.
 * Slevin: Bummer.


 * The Boss: [after Slevin has just told him he'll take the job killing the Rabbi's son] I knew you had sense.
 * Slevin: Sense is something you have when you have a choice.
 * The Boss: Sometimes, and sometimes it's when you know you don't.


 * Nick: Fuck. Shit. Jesus.
 * Mr. Goodkat: 'Fuck, Shit, Jesus' is right.


 * The Rabbi: You must be Mr. Fisher.
 * Slevin: Must I be? Because it hasn't been working out for me lately.
 * The Rabbi: But I'm afraid you must.
 * Slevin: Well, if I must.
 * The Rabbi: Do you know why you've been brought here, Mr. Fisher?
 * Slevin: For starters, I'm unlucky.
 * The Rabbi: The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky, Mr. Fisher. You are unlucky so that I may know that I am not. Unfortunately, the lucky never realize they are lucky until it's too late. Consider yourself for instance; yesterday you were better off than you were today, but it took today for you to realize it. But, today has arrived, and it's too late, you see? People are never happy with what they have. They always want what they had...what someone else has...
 * Slevin: Kind of like a rabbi who'd rather be a gangster or a gangster who'd rather be a rabbi? I mean, what is that, some kind of 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence'...thing? I mean, how do you justify being a rabbi and a gangster?
 * The Rabbi: [pauses, slides tea tray aside] I don't. I am a bad man who doesn't waste time wondering what could have been when I am what could have been and could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence; the grass is always green. Consider, Mr. Fisher, there are two men sitting before you; and one of them you should be very afraid of. Where is my money?


 * Brikowski: Who are you?
 * Slevin: Philosophically speaking?
 * Brikowski: Name.
 * Slevin: Rank, serial number?
 * Dumbrowski: You should really play ball kid.
 * Slevin: Really? You think I'm tall enough?
 * [Punches Slevin in the stomach]
 * Brikowski: What is your name?
 * Slevin: [gasping for breath] Oh yeah, now I remember, Slevin Kelevra.


 * Elvis: Wait, wait, wait. Look Nick, Slevin, Clark Kent, whatever the fuck your name is. The Virgin Mary herself could come waltzin' in here right now with her fine ass titties hangin' out and everything and if she told me your name was Jesus Christ, I still got to take you to see the Boss. You know why?
 * Slevin: No.
 * Elvis: Orders. And you do know what orders is right?
 * Slevin: I think I understand the concept of-
 * Elvis: Orders is "Orders" (but is said in an Ebonics for to really say all there is "Or-der-is".
 * Slevin: I guess no one ever taught you not to use the word you're defining in the definition.
 * [Elvis punches him]
 * Elvis: Say somethin' else. I will break your motherfucking nose. I ain't playin' with you.
 * Slevin: My nose is already broken.
 * [flash cut to Slevin in a car with a freshly bloodied nose]


 * Slevin: How did you find out about us?
 * Mr. Goodkat: I'm a world-class assassin, fuckhead. How do you think I found out?


 * Slevin: Someone's trying to kill you.
 * Yitzchok: Who?
 * Slevin: Me.


 * The Rabbi: There are three things one may not do to save a life including his own. He may not: idol-worship, commit adultery, or perform an act of premeditated murder. Killing you before you killed me would be...
 * Slevin: Kosher?
 * The Rabbi: [scathing noise] Acceptable.


 * Slevin: Anything else you want to tell me?
 * The Boss: I suppose I don't need to say anything as trite and cliche as "go to the police and you're a dead man".
 * Slevin: I think you just did.
 * The Boss: I guess I did.


 * The Rabbi: [whispering to Slevin] Whatever they're paying you...
 * [smiles slyly]
 * Slevin: [chuckles slightly] There is no "they..." I did this to you. Me.
 * The Rabbi: You?
 * Slevin: Me.
 * The Boss: Who are you?

<hr width="50%">
 * Slevin: Listen, I've been hearing that a lot lately--
 * The Rabbi: [interrupting] My father used to say: "The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."

<hr width="50%">
 * Mugger: Hey, you got the time?
 * Slevin: Yeah man, it's about 3:20.
 * Mugger: Yo, you got a smoke?
 * Slevin: No sorry, I don't smoke.
 * Mugger: Well then why don't you just give me your wallet, and I'll buy my own smokes.
 * Slevin: Am I being mugged?
 * [He is punched in the nose]

<hr width="50%">
 * Mr. Goodkat: The reason I'm in town, in case you're wondering, is because of the Kansas City Shuffle.
 * Nick: What's a Kansas City Shuffle?
 * Mr. Goodkat: A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.
 * Nick: Never heard of it.
 * Mr. Goodkat: It's not something people hear about. Falls on deaf ears mostly. This particular one has been over twenty years in the making. No small matter. Requires a lot of planning. Involves a lot of people. People connected by the slightest of events. Like whispers in the night, in that place that never forgets, even when those people do. It starts with a horse.

<hr width="50%">
 * Slevin: This isn't the first time this has happened, you know.
 * Lindsey: You mean this isn't the first time a crime lord asked you to kill the gay son of a rival gangster to pay off a debt that belongs to a friend whose place you're staying in as a result of losing your job, your apartment, and finding your girlfriend in bed with another guy?
 * Slevin: No, this is the first time THAT happened, but Nick has been painting me into corners since we were kids.

<hr width="50%">
 * Lindsey: What happened to your nose?
 * Slevin: I was using it to break some guy's fist.

<hr width="50%">
 * The Boss: You? You're the triggerman.
 * Slevin: Me?
 * The Boss: You.
 * Slevin: Aren't there professionals? People you can hire to do this sort of thing?
 * The Boss: [Laughing] Of course there are. Yes. But you owe me 96,000 dollars. Why should I go out and pay someone else when I've already paid you?

<hr width="50%">
 * Slevin: Ok, I'm under the impression that you're under the impression that I owe you 96,000 dollars.
 * The Boss: No, you owe Slim Hopkins 96,000 dollars. You owe Slim, Slim owes me... You owe me.