Madagascar (2005 film)

Madagascar is a 2005 animated film about four Central Park Zoo animals who have spent their lives in blissful captivity and are unexpectedly shipped back to Africa, becoming shipwrecked on the island of Madagascar.
 * Directed by Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath. Written by Mark Burton, Billy Frolick, Eric Darnell, and Tom McGrath.

Someone's got a zoo loose. Taglines



Dialogue

 * Marty: The penguins are going, so why can't I?
 * Alex: The penguins are psychotic.
 * Marty: Come on. Just imagine going back to nature.


 * Alex: This is a highly refined, type of, food... thing that you do not find in the wild.
 * Marty: You ever thought there might be more to life than steak, Alex?
 * Alex: [stares at his steak] He didn't mean that, baby. No-no-no.


 * Alex: [while sleeping] Come on now, baby. My little filet. My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.
 * Melman: Alex. Alex. Alex? Alex. Alex.
 * Alex: [wakes up] Huh? What?
 * Melman: You suck your thumb?
 * Alex: [sighs] What is it, Melman?
 * Melman: Okay, okay. Oh! You know how I have that bladder infection and I have to get up every two hours? Well, I got up to pee and looked over at Marty's pen which, you know, I usually don't do. I don't know why, but I did. And this time...
 * Alex: What, Melman? What's going on?
 * Melman: It's Marty. He's gone.
 * Alex: Gone?! [bonks his head] What do you mean "gone"?
 * Melman: How long he's been working on this? [into the hole penguins dug] Marty? Marty?!
 * Gloria: [enters the scene] He wouldn't fit down there.
 * Alex: [searches the hay pile] Marty? Marty! Marty!
 * Gloria: This doesn't make any sense. Where would he go?
 * Alex: [horrified; after short pause] Connecticut!
 * Gloria: He wouldn't.
 * Melman: Oh, no! What... What are we going to do?! We got to... We gotta... I mean, we gotta... We gotta... We got to call somebody!
 * [Alex gasps, runs to the pay phone and dials 911.]
 * Alex: Hello?! Get me missing animals and hurry! We've got a lost zebra probably on the way to Connecticut by now, and we're gonna need...
 * [Cut to operator's office; Alex roars on speaker.]
 * Operator: Hello? [cut to zoo; on speaker] Hello?
 * Alex: Wait a second. We can't call the people. [hangs up the pay phone, pulls and throws it away] They'll be really mad. It'll get Marty transferred for good. You don't bite the hand that feeds you.
 * Gloria: Mm-hmm. I know that's right.
 * Alex: We got to go after him.
 * Melman: Go after him?!
 * Alex: He's not thinking straight. We got to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. He's probably out there lost and cold, confused. [sighs] Poor little guy.


 * [After Mort gets sent out from hiding by Julien, he sees Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman and grabs his tail in fear.]
 * Marty: Hi there.
 * Alex: [cuts off Marty, clears throat] You let me handle. [whispers] Alex handles it. Marty does nothing. [walks over to a scared Mort and zooms in his face] Hi th-e-e-ere! [Mort looks at Alex's teeth and starts crying.] Oh, jeez. Sorry.
 * Melman: Oh, Alex, what did you do?
 * Alex: No, no, no. Stop. Stop. It's okay, it's okay. I'm just a silly... just a silly lion. Oh, jeez!
 * [Mort starts screaming and crying louder, scaring Alex.]
 * Marty: Aw, Alex.
 * Gloria: [walks to Mort] Oh, you poor little baby. Did that big mean lion scare you? He did?
 * Mort: Mm-hmm.
 * Gloria: He did? He's a big, bad old puddy tat, isn't he? [picks Mort up] Come on. Mama'll hold you.
 * Melman: [as Gloria is cuddling Mort] They are so cute from a reasonable distance.
 * Gloria: Aren't you the sweetest little thing. I just want to dunk him in my coffee.
 * Julien: [watching Gloria cuddle Mort] They are just a bunch of pansies.
 * Maurice: I don't know, Julien. [referring to Alex] There's something about that guy with the crazy hair-do that I find suspicious.
 * Julien: Nonsense, Maurice! Come on everybody! Let's go and meet the pansies!


 * Alex: Marty, come on. What could Connecticut have to offer us?
 * Melman: Lyme disease.
 * Alex: Thank you, Melman.


 * [Alex and Marty seem overjoyed to be reunited; they are running towards each other on the beach in slow motion with arms outstretched and "Chariots of Fire" playing; their voices are slow and toned to a low key]
 * Alex: Marty!
 * Marty: Alex!
 * Alex: Marty!
 * Marty: Al!
 * Alex: [firmly] Marty!
 * Marty: [confused] Alex?
 * Alex: [angrily] Marty!
 * Marty: [turns to run] Oh, sugar, honey, iced tea!


 * Maurice: [to Alex] Oh my, what big teeth you have. Man. He-hey.
 * Julien: Shame on you, Maurice. Can you not see that you have insulted the freak? [to Alex] You must tell me, who the heck are you?
 * Alex: I'm Alex. The Alex and this is Gloria, Marty and Melman.
 * Maurice: And where exactly are you giants from, hmm?
 * Alex: We're from New York, and uh...
 * [King Julien makes a "T" with his hands, interrupting Alex, then turns to the crowd of lemurs]
 * Julien: All hail the New York Giants!
 * Lemurs: [cheer] New York Giants!
 * Alex: [to Marty, Melman, and Gloria] All right, enough is enough. I say we just ask these bozos where the people are!
 * Julien: Excuse me? We bozos have the people, of course!
 * Alex: You do? That's good to know.
 * Melman: Hey! The bozos have the people!
 * Julien: They're up there. [points to some human skeletons hanging from parachutes snagged on the branches of a large tree] Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch though.
 * Alex: Oh. So, do you have any live people?
 * Julien: Um... No. Only dead ones.
 * Maurice: Man, if we had a lot of live people, it wouldn't be called "the wild". Would it?
 * Marty: The wild?!
 * Alex: Hold on a second there, fuzzbucket. You mean the live-in-a-mud-hut, wipe-yourself-with-a-leaf type wild?
 * Julien: Who wipes? Ha ha!
 * Gloria: Oy vey.
 * Julien: Oy vey!
 * Maurice: Oy vey, everybody!
 * Lemurs: Oy vey!!!
 * Alex: Could you excuse me for a moment? [later he's running back to the beach, Gloria chases after him.] Get me out of here! We got to get out of here!
 * Gloria: Alex!
 * Alex: Heeelp!!!!!
 * Gloria: [holds Alex back] What are you doing?!!!
 * Alex: I'm swimming back to New York.
 * Marty: Yeah, baby. We are in the wild.
 * Alex: I know my chances are slim, but I have to try.
 * Gloria: You can't swim!
 * Marty: Oh, yeah.
 * Alex: I said my chances are slim.
 * Melman: [running in panic with leaves covering] AAAAGHH!!!! Nature! It's all over me! Get it off! I can't see! I can't see! [Gloria steps on vine cord, leaves pulls off him] I can see. [buries his head in beach ground, panicked]
 * Gloria: [while holding Alex by his throat] Okay, look. There's obviously just been a little mistake. I'm sure the people didn't dump us here on purpose. As soon as they realize what happened, they'll come looking for us, right?
 * Melman: [with head buried; while Marty is singing "Born Free"] Yeah, right.
 * Gloria: You know something? I bet they're already on their way. [she drops Alex, which he inhales for breath.]
 * (Ship horn sound)
 * Skipper: Well, boys. It's going to be ice-cold sushi for breakfast. (he and Private take high five) Rico.


 * Julien: [presents Alex with his crown] I am going to give you this lovely parting gift.
 * Alex: Oh no, really. I can't take your crown.
 * Julien: That's okay, I've got a better one! It's got a gecko on it! Look at him shake! Go Stevie, go!


 * Julien: We thank you with enormous gratitude for scaring away the Fossa.
 * Gloria: The whossa?
 * Julien: The Fossa. They're always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off--
 * Alex: Yeah, sounds great.


 * Gloria: Where are the people?
 * Skipper: We killed 'em and ate their livers. [Gloria looks horrified] Gotcha, didn't I? Just kidding, doll, the people are fine. They're on a slow boat to China. Hang on, I know you two. Where's that psychotic lion, and our monochromatic friend?
 * Melman: [he and Gloria looks back to see Marty missing] Marty? He's ri... Where'd he go? I thought he was right behind us.
 * Gloria: [groans in frustration] He went back for Alex? He's gonna get himself killed!
 * Skipper: Well, boys, our monochromatic friend's in danger. Looks like we have a job to do. [Private brings out a notebook and a red crayon] Captain's log: Embarking into hostile environment. Kowalski, we'll need to win the hearts and the minds of the natives. Rico, we'll need special tactical equipment. We're going to face extreme peril. Private probably won't survive. [a red crayon snaps, Private looks horrified]


 * Skipper: You, Quadruped! Sprechen sie Englisch?
 * Marty: I sprechen.
 * Skipper: What continent is this?
 * Marty: Manhattan.
 * Skipper: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York. Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!
 * Marty: Hey, wait! You in the tux! What are you guys doing?
 * Private: We're digging to Antarctica. [Skipper slaps him]
 * Marty: Ant-who-tica?
 * Skipper: Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend? Do you ever see any penguins walking free around New York City? Of course not. We don't belong here, it's just not natural. This is all some kind of whacked-out conspiracy. We're going to the wide open spaces of Antarctica. To the wild.
 * Marty: The wild? You can actually go there? That's sounds great. (short pause; he looks at penguins' hole) Hey, hold up! Where is this place? Tell me where it is!
 * [Skipper starts going back into the hole]
 * Skipper: You didn't see anything, right?
 * Marty: Yes, sir. Oh, uh... I'm sorry. No, sir.


 * Marty: Excuse me? You're biting my butt.
 * Alex: [muffled] No, I'm not.
 * Marty: Yes you are. [Alex spits and licks paws in the tongue]
 * Gloria: Alex, what did you do?


 * [the penguins are being transfered; Kowalski is looking at the label on their crate]
 * Skipper: Progress report.
 * Kowalski: It's an older code, Skipper. I can't make it out.
 * [Skipper notices the chimps in the crate next to them]
 * Skipper: You, higher mammal! Can you read?!
 * Mason: No, Phil can read though. Phil?
 * [Phil appears; Kowalski gestures towards the label; Phil starts using sign language]
 * Mason: Ship to Kenya... Wildlife Preserve... Africa.
 * Skipper: Africa? That ain't going to fly. Rico!
 * [Rico vomits up a paper clip and uses it to unpick the lock on their crate]


 * Alex: [after Melman burned the rescue beacon in panic] You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to HECK!
 * Melman: [callously] Can we go to the fun side now?


 * Mort: I like them! I like them! Before I even met them I liked them!
 * Julien: Yes, yes! We get it...
 * Mort: You HATE them compared to how much I like them...
 * Julien: Oh, shut up! You're so annoying.
 * [Pause]
 * Mort: [flattered] Hee-hee!
 * Julien: Now, for as long as we can remember, we have been attacked, and eaten, by the dreaded fossa.
 * Lemur 1: The fossa! The fossa are attacking! [screams and hurls himself out a window; General panic ensues]
 * Lemur 2: [holds up a book titled "To Serve Lemur"] It's a cookbook. It's a cookbook!
 * Julien: Please, Maurice.
 * Maurice: Shh.... Quiet! Come on, you all. They're not attacking us this very instant.


 * Alex: Oooh... Oh, my head. [bumps his head on the top of his crate] Oh! Ah! What the? Wait. Where? What? I'm in the box! Oh no. No, no! Not the box. Oh, they can't transfer me. Not me! Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Darkness creeping in. Can't breathe, can't breathe. Walls closing in around me. So alone. So alone. Oh.
 * Marty: Alex? Alex, hey! Are you there?
 * Alex: Marty?
 * Marty: Yeah. Talk to me, buddy.
 * Alex: Oh, Marty. You're here.
 * Marty: What's going on? Are you okay?
 * Alex: This doesn't look good, Marty.
 * Gloria: Alex, Marty, is that you?
 * Marty: Gloria.
 * Alex: You're here, too.
 * Marty: I am loving the sound of your voice.
 * Gloria: What is going on?
 * Alex: We're all in crates.
 * Gloria: Oh, no! What, um...
 * Melman: Oh, sleeping just knocks me out.
 * Gloria: Melman.
 * Alex: Melman.
 * Marty: Is that Melman?
 * Gloria: Are you okay?
 * Melman: Yeah. No, I’m fine. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.
 * Alex: Melman, you're not getting an MRI.
 * Melman: CAT scan?
 * Alex: No. No CAT scan. It's a transfer. It's a zoo transfer!
 * Melman: Zoo transfer?! Oh, no. No, no. I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at 5:00.
 * Gloria: Melman.
 * Melman: There are prescriptions that have to be filled.
 * Gloria: Melman! Calm down, Melman. Relax.
 * Melman: No other zoo can afford my medical care...
 * Marty: Calm down, Melman.
 * Melman: And I am not going HMO!
 * Marty: Take it easy, Melman. It's gonna be okay. We are going to be o-kiz-ay.
 * Alex: No, Marty. We aren't going to be o-kiz-ay. Now, because of you, we're ruined!
 * Marty: Because of me? I fail to see how this is my fault.
 * Gloria: You're kidding, right, Marty?
 * Alex: You! You ticked off the people! You bit the hand, Marty. You bit the hand! [mimicking Marty] "I don't know who I am! I don't know who I am. I gotta go find myself in the wild!"
 * Marty: Hey hey.
 * Alex: Oh please.
 * Marty: I did not ask you to come after me, did I?
 * Melman: He does have a point.
 * Alex: What?
 * Melman: I did say we should stayed at the zoo but, you guys...
 * Alex: Melman, just shut it. You're the one who suggested this whole idea to him in the first place.
 * Gloria: Alex, leave Melman out of this, please.
 * Melman: Thank you, Gloria. Besides, Alex, that's not my fault that we were transferred.
 * Gloria: Melman, shut it. Does anybody feel nauseous?
 * Melman: I feel nauseous.
 * Alex: Melman, you always feel nauseous.


 * Gloria: What kind of zoo is this?
 * Melman: I just saw twenty-six blatant health code violations.
 * Marty: I'm lovin' San Diego. This place is off the chizain.
 * Melman: (gasps) 27!

<hr width=50%>
 * [last lines]
 * Private: Skipper, don't you think we should tell them the boat's out of gas?
 * Skipper: Nah, just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.

Taglines

 * Someone's got a zoo loose.
 * They weren't born in the wild. They were shipped there.

Cast

 * Ben Stiller - Alex (voice)
 * Chris Rock - Marty (voice)
 * David Schwimmer - Melman (voice)
 * Jada Pinkett Smith - Gloria (voice)
 * Sacha Baron Cohen - King Julien (voice)
 * Cedric the Entertainer - Maurice (voice)
 * Andy Richter - Mort (voice)
 * Tom McGrath - Skipper (voice)
 * Christopher Knights - Private (voice)
 * Jeffrey Katzenberg - Rico (voice)
 * Chris Miller - Kowalski (voice)
 * Conrad Vernon - Mason (voice)