Made (2001 film)

Made is a 2001 American crime comedy film written, directed and co-produced by Jon Favreau. It stars Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Peter Falk, and Sean Combs. It was Favreau's directorial debut.
 * Directed by Jon Favreau. Produced by Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn and Peter Billingsley. Written by Jon Favreau.

Welcome to disorganized crime.

Bobby Ricigliano

 * You're running around like a Puerto Rican on the fifteenth of the month!
 * [Ricky: You wanna bet me that I can't get a gun?] You couldn't even get a handjob from the bridge and tunnel posse at the club last night!

Ricky Slade

 * You must be the Red Dragon!
 * Yeah, that's my per diem, and who do I give it to?
 * You got an ash tray? How about an ash tray? Can I color me that?
 * A lot going on. But there always is, isn't there? A lot going on.
 * [after a pottery clerk throws an ashtray on his table] There's a nice way to do that!
 * And I hope you know frogs aren't purple, you ever seen a purple frog? [Chole nods] Oh yeah? When? When you where asleep?
 * We don't wanna talk, we wanna scream at people, but we don't wanna listen or problem solve and that's what's frustrating about the fucking dynamic of the group!
 * What are you an odds maker? You're going to work everyone through this thing here? Let me tell you something, fucko, if that motherfucker right there don't take that knife away from my friend's neck, I'll use all six shots to make sure you're dead. Now do you believe it? Do you fucking believe it?

Dialogue

 * Ricky: Here's scenario B for you Bob, see how you feel about this one. Now I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I think I'm starting to get under Ruiz's skin as well, OK? It all started with the whole Red Dragon, or the Welsh guy, whatever, they can play it down all they want but you know 200 grand's a lot of fucking money! It's a fucking lot of money! OK? 200 grand is definitely a lot of fucking money! And now I've got Ruiz calling me fucking Fruit-Pie the fucking magician! Tellin' me that I can't fucking call my main man Max, who fucking sent me out on the fucking operation? And what about the Welsh guy? He's fucking scat all over, they fucking disappear and talk! And you haven't noticed this either but when he's not fucking looking at me or you're fucking doing whatever, I've got fucking Jimmy in the mirror with his shit too. It's fucking coming at me from here, I don't know where it is! It might be coming this way, it might be coming that way, but the fucking shit's coming and I'm not gonna be late for the fucking dance man, I'm not gonna be fucking late for the dance on this one.
 * Bobby: You're not getting a gun.


 * Ricky: We need guns.
 * Bobby: We don't need guns.
 * Ricky: I'm telling you man, I'm pretty sure we need guns.
 * Bobby: I listened to them and they specifically said we don't need guns.
 * Ricky: That's all the more reason why you do need a gun.
 * Bobby: You couldn't even get a gun.
 * Ricky: You wanna bet, you wanna bet me if I could get a gun?
 * Bobby: You couldn't get a hand job from the bridge and tunnel posse.
 * Ricky: That's because that fuckin' girl had issues with the bathtub and the other thing. Now float me a hundred bucks.
 * Bobby: For what?
 * Ricky: You wanna see how fast I can get a gun?
 * Bobby: What happened to your money?
 * Ricky: I have it, I have some stuff left.
 * Bobby: How much?
 * Ricky: I've got like 80.
 * Bobby: $80!
 * Ricky: 80 plus five, I've got five in the room, $85.
 * Bobby: $85, what happened to the 1500?
 * Ricky: Well you could have picked up a fuckin' tab once in a while!
 * Bobby: I picked up half the fuckin' tab!


 * Chloe: Isn't it fun?
 * Ricky: What's that, sweetie?
 * Chloe: Isn't it fun?
 * Ricky: What's that?
 * Chloe: Isn't it fun?
 * Ricky: What fun?
 * Chloe: Isn't it fun to paint?
 * Ricky: To paint? Yeah, I love it! Really calms me down. Frogs aren't purple by the way. Have you ever seen a purple frog?
 * Chloe: Yes.
 * Ricky: Yeah. Okay, when? When you were asleep?


 * Ricky: I don't know why we don't get a drink, sittin' inside this place.
 * Bobby: Chloe wanted to come here.
 * Ricky: She doesn't know where the hell she is, Bob. She'd have more fun if we were at Bordner's. She could play the trivia game that she likes or the little racing game thing she does.
 * Bobby: She's a little girl, little girls don't like going to bars.
 * Ricky: We had fun. We went to bars when we were kids. Met all the different people. Right? Remember Slimmy?
 * Salesperson: Excuse me sir, there's no smoking in here.
 * Ricky: Why, you serving food?
 * Salesperson: No, it's store policy. And you can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic.
 * Ricky: You believe this shit. I can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic. Well, why don't you bring me a ashtray then. Can I color me that, a ceramic ashtray?


 * [Ricky is at Chuck E. Cheese's for Chloe's birthday party when all of the kids have run off and Chuck E. Cheese has come by the table]
 * Ricky: Ah, there you are. Where were ya five minutes ago, buddy, when the kids were goin' crazy? Huh? Now ya show up? Ok, mousey, I'm tryin' to do a little business here.
 * [Ricky pulls out money and hands it to Chuck E. Cheese]
 * Ricky: Go run around the parking lot or something. Will ya?


 * Ricky: Excuse me, what, you don't have to hit me. Excuse me.
 * Bernardo: What?
 * Ricky: I'm sweeping, you don't have to hit me with your whip. What do you have a horse outside, don't hit me with the whip please.


 * Ricky: Excuse me Honey, umm, where the drinks are concerned, is that a hidden tax? Does that fall under complementary up front service as well or is that something you pay for?
 * Flight Attendent: Oh no, no, they're complementary. Would you care for another one?
 * Ricky: They're complementary?
 * Flight Attendent: Yes.
 * Ricky: You bet your ass I would.


 * Horrace: [walks up to bar] Martel's and coke. One ice cube. In a snifter this time.
 * Bartender: Snifters are for warm drinks.
 * Horrace: Yeah, snifters are for cognac.
 * Bartender: When served warm.
 * Horrace: What's the matter? You ain't got no snifters in this motherfucker?
 * Bartender: We have snifters?
 * Horrace: Then put my Martel's in a snifter.
 * [The bartender walks away to get a snifter]
 * Horrace: Like I'm gonna break her goddamn snifter.


 * Max: [midst of instructions for NY trip] Yes, for expenses and such. Now, you'll be contacted on your pager as to where you should go. You each have been given an extra battery, so there is absolutely no excuse as to why a page would not be immediately returned. Am I making myself abundantly clear?
 * Bobby: Yeah.
 * Ricky: Yeah.
 * Max: You will not carry any other pagers with you. You will not carry anything, for that matter, that I have not just given you.
 * Ricky: Keys.
 * Max: What?
 * Ricky: What about my keys?
 * Max: You can carry your keys. You will not mention my name or imply that you are in my employ. You will not speak to anyone while you are working. When you are not working, you are considered to be on call and available twenty four hours a day. This means you will not get drunk or do anything that will prevent you from operating in a professional manner. There is already a number in your pager's memory. It is a car service. When they ask you what account, you will respond: 'Cardiff Giant.' They will pick you up and take you anywhere you need to go. In other words, there is no reason why you should not reach any destination that you will be called upon to reach within fifteen minutes. Do you see a pattern forming?
 * Ricky: Yes.
 * Bobby: Yes.
 * Max: What is it?
 * Bobby: You want...
 * Max: Not you. I want Ricky to answer.
 * Ricky: I get it.
 * Max: Tell me.
 * Ricky: Don't worry. I get it.
 * Max: So tell me how it is.
 * Ricky: You want... [stop in mid sentence] Why are you picking on?
 * Max: Because you lost my fucking carpet cleaning van and I don't like you. You cocksucker!


 * Ricky: We're gonna take a break from you, Jimmy.
 * [Ricky rolls up window in limo]
 * Bobby: Could you not do that?
 * Ricky: Do what?
 * Bobby: I don't want him to think that you're blowing me back here.

Cast

 * Jon Favreau as Bobby Ricigliano
 * Vince Vaughn as Ricky Slade
 * Peter Falk as Max Reuben
 * Famke Janssen as Jessica
 * P. Diddy as Ruiz
 * Faizon Love as Horrace
 * Vincent Pastore as Jimmy
 * David O'Hara as The Welshman
 * Makenzie Vega as Chloe
 * Jenteal as Wendy (as Reanna Rossi)
 * Sam Rockwell as Hotel Clerk (uncredited)