McLintock!

McLintock! is a 1963 film in which wealthy rancher G. W. McLintock uses his power and influence in the territory to keep the peace between farmers, ranchers, land-grabbers, Indians and corrupt government officials.
 * Directed by Andrew V. McLaglen, written by James Edward Grant.

'''He likes his whiskey hard... His women soft... And his west all to himself!'''taglines

George Washington McLintock

 * Don't tell me it's a fine morning, or I'll shoot ya!


 * Becky! Come here. Somethin' I ought to tell you. Guess now's as good a time as any. You're going to have every young buck west of the Missouri around here tryin' to marry you - mostly because you're a handsome filly, but partly because I own everything in this country from here to there. They'll think you're going to inherit it. Well, you're not. I'm going to leave most of it to, well, to the nation really, for a park where no lumbermen'll cut down all the trees for houses with leaky roofs. Nobody'll kill all the beaver for hats for dudes nor murder the buffalo for robes. What I'm going to give you is a 500 cow spread on the Upper Green River. Now that may not seem like much, but it's more than we had, your mother and I. Some folks are gonna say I'm doin' all this so I can sit up in the hereafter and look down on a park named after me, or that I was disappointed in you - didn't want you to get all that money. But the real reason, Becky, is because I love you, and I want you and some young man to have what I had, because all the gold in the United States Treasury and all the harp music in heaven can't equal what happens between a man and a woman with all that growin' together. I can't explain it any better than that.


 * This is probably the first marriage I've ever seen that started out with a spanking!


 * I've got a touch of hangover, bureaucrat. Don't push me.


 * Cuthbert H. Humphrey, Governor of our territory, is a cull. Do you know what a cull is, ma'am? A cull is a specimen that is so worthless that you have to cut him out of the herd. Now if all the people in the world were put in one herd, Cuthbert is the one I would throw a rope at.


 * I came close to killing you a couple of times when I was younger. Saddens me I didn't.


 * If these settlers get burned out, there'll be a lot of hollerin' that this country is too wild to be a state. We'll go on bein' a territory some more, with a lot of political appointees runnin' it according to what they learned in some college where they think cows are somethin' you milk and Indians are somethin' in front of a cigar store.

Dialogue

 * Farmer: The government gave us each one hundred and sixty acres.
 * George Washington McLintock: The government never gave anybody anything. You make these homesteads go, you'll have earned every acre of it. You just can't make 'em go on the Mesa Verde! God made that land fer buffalo. Serves pretty well for cattle. But it hates the plow! And even the government should know that you can't farm six thousand feet above sea level.


 * Drago: Boss, what's "reactionary" mean?
 * George Washington McLintock: I guess he says that anyone who sells at a profit is a reactionary


 * Devlin: I am just a hired hand around here
 * George Washington McLintock: Every so often Dev, you spell the strangest ideas. Everybody works for somebody. I work for everybody in these United States that steps into a butcher shop for a T-Bone steak and you work for me, it is not much difference


 * Drago: I'm sorry Katherine - that Katie just slipped out from times when I remember you as being nice people...
 * Katherine McLintock: Are you going to stand there with that stupid look on your face while the hired help insults your wife?
 * George Washington McLintock: He can't help it - he's just ignorant. He doesn't know any better than to tell the truth. And I can't help this stupid look. I started acquiring it as you gained in social prominence!


 * George Washington McLintock: [through gritted teeth after knocking Jones down] Now, we'll all calm down!
 * Drago: Boss, he's just a little excited.
 * George Washington McLintock: I know, I know. I'm gonna use good judgement. I haven't lost my temper in forty years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, might have got somebody killed... and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The hell I won't! [belts Jones in the mouth]


 * Katherine McClintock: [after walking out of her bedroom to find G.W. and Mrs. Warren at the bottom of the stairs] What's going on here?
 * George Washington McLintock: [Intoxicated, with Mrs. Warren sitting on his lap] Now Katherine, are you going to believe what you see, or what I tell you?


 * George Washington McLintock: [McLintock and his family are standing on the porch looking up at Ching the cook. Ching is standing there with a rather large meat cleaver] Well you old Cantonese reprobate, how 'bout it?
 * Ching: Ya fire me? I kill myself!
 * George Washington McLintock: I'm not talkin' about firing you I'm RETIRING you! You've been rustlin' food for us for forty years! We're gonna put you out to pasture. All you'll have to do is give advice, be one of the family!
 * Ching: I kill myself!
 * George Washington McLintock: I may save you the trouble.
 * Drago: Hey Ching, you kill yourself, I'll cut of your pigtail and y'ain't never gonna get to Heaven!
 * [Swishes his pocketknife at Ching; Ching pauses]
 * Ching: I'll be one of the family?
 * George Washington McLintock: I give you my solemn word.
 * Ching: Pretty crummy family! Drinkee too muchee! Get in fight! Yell alla time!
 * George Washington McLintock: [Gestures at Drago] Cut off his pigtail!
 * [Drago starts to walk up the stairs, pocketknife in hand]
 * Ching: ALRIGHT, I BE ONE OF THE FAMILY!


 * Becky McLintock: You are my father and if you do love me you will shoot him!
 * George Washington McLintock: I'm your father and I sure love you. [grabs a pistol from his cabinet and shoots Devlin]
 * Becky McLintock: You shot him! You really shot him! If he dies...
 * George Washington McLintock: [Interrupts Becky] If he dies he will be the first man killed with a blank cartridge . We use this to start the races on the fourth.
 * Becky McLintock: [to Devlin] You poor dear.
 * Devlin Warren: Poor dear? You would've had me shot down in cold blood! Yelling I insulted you an all. What you need is a good spanking.
 * Becky McLintock: Daddy?
 * George Washington McLintock: Leave me out of this.
 * Devlin Warren: And I think I'll give you what you deserve.
 * Becky McLintock: You wouldn' dare!


 * George Washington McLintock: I saw your picture in the paper at the Governor's Ball. You were dancing with the governor.
 * Katherine McClintock: At least he's a gentleman.
 * George Washington McLintock: I doubt that. You have to be a man first before you're a gentleman. He misses on both counts.


 * Drago: That divorce business. Is that whatcha get when you paya woman not to live with ya?
 * George Washington McLintock: That's about it.
 * Drago: Some women I know'd be worth it.

Taglines

 * He likes his whiskey hard... His women soft... And his west all to himself!


 * Never such a tender love story! Never such a savage showdown! Never such restless natives!


 * What has McLintock got that makes it different from all other westerns? It's got a tender love story! It's got good clean fun! It's got a warm story of family devotion!


 * He tamed the West... But Could He Tame Her?


 * Wallops The Daylights Out Of Every Western You've Ever Seen!

Cast

 * John Wayne - George Washington "G.W." McLintock
 * Maureen O'Hara - Katherine "Kate" McLintock
 * Patrick Wayne - Devlin "Dev" Warren
 * Stefanie Powers - Rebecca "Becky" McLintock
 * Jack Kruschen - Jake Birnbaum
 * Chill Wills - Drago
 * Yvonne De Carlo - Louise Warren
 * Jerry Van Dyke - Matt Douglas Jr.
 * Edgar Buchanan - Bunny Dull
 * Perry Lopez - Davey Elk
 * Strother Martin - Agard
 * Gordon Jones - Matt Douglas


 * Robert Lowery - Gov. Cuthbert H. Humphrey
 * Hank Worden - Curly Fletcher
 * Michael Pate - Puma, Chief of the Comanche Nation
 * Bruce Cabot - Ben Sage, Sr.
 * Edward Faulkner - Ben Sage, Jr.
 * Mari Blanchard - Camille
 * Leo Gordon - Jones
 * Chuck Roberson - Sheriff Jeff Lord
 * Bob Steele - Train Engineer
 * Aissa Wayne - Alice Warren
 * "Big" John Hamilton - Fauntleroy Sage
 * H.W. Gim - Ching