Miss Congeniality

Miss Congeniality is a 2000 film about an FBI agent who must go undercover in the Miss United States beauty pageant to prevent a group from bombing the event.
 * Directed by Donald Petrie. Written by Marc Lawrence and Katie Ford

Unpolished. Unkempt. Unleashed. Undercover. taglines

Gracie Hart

 * I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!
 * Look, she's gonna cry again. [imitating winner] 'Oh, if I only had a brain."'
 * Hey! I'm GLIDING here!

Victor "Vic" Melling

 * I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.
 * There are no words.
 * Eyebrows. There should be TWO.
 * Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
 * [to Gracie] If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.

Dialogue

 * Eric: All right, here are your new IDs. For pageant identity.
 * Gracie: Gracie Lou Freebush?
 * Eric: Yeah, remember, you like that name.
 * Gracie: Yeah, well, my IQ just dropped 10 points.




 * Vic: [teaches Gracie how to glide] See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Don't I look pretty?
 * Gracie: It takes a very secure man to walk like that.


 * Vic: The interview is the single most important part of the pageant. It accounts for 30% of your total score.
 * Gracie: Yeah? And what's the other 70%? Cleavage?


 * Vic: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
 * Gracie: I would so love to hurt you right now.
 * Vic: As long as you smile. Now...why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?
 * Gracie: Because it's too hard to fit "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" on a license plate?




 * Vic: Your hair should make a statement.
 * Gracie: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!




 * Eric: Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?
 * Gracie: You want me to beat it out of her?




 * Kathy: You think you saved something tonight, but all you did was to destroy the dream of young women all over this country.
 * Gracie: What? You think their dream is to get blown up? Y'know, you got a really good shot at that insanity plea.
 * Kathy: (gets in the car) Yeah, well, I earned it, honey! 25 years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get?! FIRED! They steal my life! They steal my beauty pageant!
 * Gracie: Hey! Hey! It is NOT a beauty pageant! It is a scholarship program.
 * Kathy: Yeah, yeah.
 * Gracie: Yes.
 * (she shuts the door of the police car, and it drives off with Kathy inside)
 * Gracie: Enjoy your run in the the Miss San Antonio Women's Correctional Facility Pageant. Huh? Huh? (laughs and snorts; to Eric) Get it? The Women's Correctional Facility--?




 * Eric: You gotta admit, part of you is going to miss this.
 * Gracie: I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something for my posture. And I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts.
 * Eric: Funny, so am I.

Other

 * Cheryl: Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me. She said they were Satan's panties.


 * Eric: Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it.


 * Vic: What, no armored car?
 * Gracie: That would be in my other dress.


 * Gracie: He had a gun.
 * Kathy: Of course he had a gun. This is Texas. Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!
 * Stan: I don't have a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.
 * Kathy: Stan, please!

Taglines

 * Unpolished. Unkempt. Unleashed. Undercover.
 * She's Got A Killer To Catch... Right After The Swimsuit Competition.
 * Never Mess With An Agent In A Dress.

Cast

 * Sandra Bullock - Gracie Hart
 * Michael Caine - Victor Melling
 * Benjamin Bratt - Eric Matthews
 * Candice Bergen - Cathy Morningside
 * Ernie Hudson - FBI Asst. Director Harry McDonald
 * William Shatner - Stan Fields
 * Heather Burns - Cheryl Frasier, Miss Rhode Island