Mississippi (film)

Mississippi is a 1935 musical comedy film about about a young pacifist who, after refusing on principle to defend his sweetheart's honor and being banished in disgrace, joins a riverboat troupe as a singer and acquires a reputation as a crackshot after a saloon brawl in which a villain accidentally kills himself with his own gun.
 * Directed by A. Edward Sutherland. Written by Francis Martin and Jack Cunningham, based on the play The Magnolia by Booth Tarkington.

Commodore Jackson

 * Never mind what I told you! You do as I tell you!


 * I like women as I like elephants, I like to look at 'em but I wouldn't own one.


 * Even a dead fish can float downstream.


 * Whilst travelling through the Andes mountains, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days!

Dialogue

 * General Rumford: And here… Here is a little jug of liquor.
 * Commodore Jackson: Oh, thank you. A nice little noggin, yes.
 * General Rumford: Yeah. It’s made right here on the plantation, so you needn’t be afraid of it.
 * Commodore Jackson: Never been frightened of liquor in all my life.


 * Commodore Jackson: My last encounter with the redskins was over thirty-five years ago. I was a mere stripling.
 * Skeptical Passenger: Is that so?
 * Commodore Jackson: I whipped out my revolver...
 * Skeptical Passenger: Revolvers weren't invented thirty-five years ago.
 * Commodore Jackson: Uh... uh... I know that, but the Indians didn't know it. It doesn't matter - I threw it away.
 * Female passenger: Oh, how exciting - please don't interrupt.
 * Commodore Jackson: I had just swum the rapids. I had my canoe under one arm and a Rocky Mountain goat under the other.
 * Skeptical Passenger: How could you swim without the use of your arms?
 * Commodore Jackson: Uh, uh... in those days I had, uh, I had very strong legs. Uh, excuse me. [sheepishly doffs hat to woman] very strong limbs.
 * Female passenger: You must have been full of fire in your youth.
 * Commodore Jackson: I had to carry fire insurance until I was over forty. As I arrived at the river bank, I was encountered by the entire tribe of the Shug Indians. The most ferocious... have you ever been to Shug country?
 * Skeptical Passenger: [glaring] No, I haven't.
 * Commodore Jackson: Uh, that's fine. I unsheathed my Bowie knife and cut a path through this wall of human flesh, dragging my canoe behind me.
 * Female passenger: [collapsing] Oh, oh, oh... oh.
 * Commodore Jackson: Ah, I'm sorry. Perhaps I've gone too far.
 * Skeptical Passenger: What, what happened to the goat?
 * Commodore Jackson: He was very good with mustard.


 * Naive card-player: Is this a game of chance?
 * Commodore Jackson: Not the way I play it, no.


 * Gambler #1: Four aces.
 * Commodore Jackson: Huh?
 * Gambler #2: That's funny... I've got four aces.
 * Commodore Jackson: Oh, don't tell me.
 * Gambler #1: [brandishing a pistol] There's only four aces in the deck and the man that holds the first four wins.

Cast

 * Bing Crosby - Tom Grayson
 * W. C. Fields - Commodore Jackson
 * Joan Bennett - Lucy Rumford
 * Queenie Smith - Alabam'
 * Gail Patrick - Elvira Rumford
 * Claude Gillingwater Sr. - General Rumford
 * John Miljan - Major Patterson
 * Edward Pawley - Joe Patterson
 * Fred Kohler - Captain Blackie
 * Five Cabin Kids - the Cabin Kids
 * John Larkin - Rumbo
 * Libby Taylor - Lavinia
 * Teresa Maxwell-Conover - Miss Markham
 * Paul Hurst - Hefty