Molly Ivins

Mary Tyler "Molly" Ivins (30 August 1944 – 31 January 2007) was an American journalist specializing in Texas politics and culture, and in national politics.

1971–1999

 * All anyone needs to enjoy the state legislature is a strong stomach and a complete insensitivity to the needs of the people. As long as you don’t think about what that peculiar body should be doing and what it actually is doing to the quality of life in Texas, then it’s all marvelous fun.
 * "Notes from a rookie", Texas Observer (March 26, 1971).


 * There are two kinds of humor. One kind that makes us chuckle about our foibles and our shared humanity -- like what Garrison Keillor does. The other kind holds people up to public contempt and ridicule -- that's what I do. Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar. &mdash;quoted in People magazine interview, 1991.
 * "The Mouth of Texas." People Weekly (December. 9, 1991).


 * Many people did not care for Pat Buchanan's speech; it probably sounded better in the original German.
 * "Notes from Another Country", The Nation (September 14, 1992).
 * About the 1992 Republican party convention.


 * Nothing like a Republican convention to drive you screaming back into the arms of the Democrats.
 * "Notes from Another Country", The Nation (September 14, 1992)


 * Women are receiving so many conflicting messages from this society that no matter what choices we make, or more often, what roles necessity forces on us-work, family or the difficult combination of both-we all feel guilty about what we're doing. It's quite true that full-time homemakers resent the condescension in remarks like Hillary Clinton's "What did you expect me to do, stay home and bake cookies?" But this is a society in which people's worth is judged by how much money they make, and the esteem in which our society holds wives and mothers is reflected in their salaries.
 * "Notes from Another Country" article in The Nation (September 14, 1992)


 * So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.
 * As quoted by John Nichols, The Nation, "Remembering Molly Ivins" (January 31, 2007).
 * Original source: Ivins, Molly. "The Fun's in the Fight." Mother Jones (May/June 1993).


 * On a personal note: I have contracted an outstanding case of breast cancer, from which I intend to recover. I don’t need get-well cards, but I would like the beloved women readers to do something for me: Go. Get. The. Damn. Mammogram. Done.
 * Syndicated column (December, 14, 1999).

2000–2003

 * I just finished with nine months of treatment for cancer. First they poison you, then they mutilate you, then they burn you. I've had more fun. And when it's over, you're so glad that you're grateful to absolutely everyone. And I am. The trouble is, I'm not a better person. I was in great hopes that confronting my own mortality would make me deeper, more thoughtful. Many lovely people sent books on how to find a more spiritual meaning in life. My response was, "Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey—I'm constipated."
 * Syndicated column (October 2000).


 * [On Bill Clinton] If left to my own devices, I'd spend all my time pointing out that he's weaker than bus-station chili. But the man is so constantly subjected to such hideous and unfair abuse that I wind up standing up for him on the general principle that some fairness should be applied. Besides, no one but a fool or a Republican ever took him for a liberal.
 * Introduction to You Got to Dance With Them What Brung You, as cited in "The quotable Ivins", Salon (December. 12, 2000).

Bush was replaced by his exceedingly Lite Guv Rick Perry, who has really good hair. Governor Goodhair, or the Ken Doll (see, all Texans use nicknames—it's not that odd), is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But the chair of a major House committee says, "Goodhair is much more engaged as governor than Bush was." As the refrain of the country song goes, "O Please, Dear God, Not Another One."
 * The next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please, pay attention.
 * "Shrub Flubs His Dub", The Nation (May 31, 2001).


 * My friend Mercedes Pena made me get in touch with my emotions just before I had a breast cut off. Just as I suspected, they were awful. "How do you Latinas do this—all the time in touch with your emotions?" I asked her. "That's why we take siestas," she replied.
 * "Who Needs Breasts, Anyway?", Time Magazine (February 18, 2002).


 * Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that.
 * "Who Needs Breasts, Anyway?", Time Magazine (February 18, 2002).


 * Populism is the simple premise that markets need to be restrained by society and by a democratic political system. We are not socialists or communists, we are proponents of regulated capitalism and, I might add, people who have read American history.
 * "I Told You So", Free Press (May 30, 2002).


 * [On the Iraq War, T]he greatest risk for us in invading Iraq is probably not war itself, so much as: What happens after we win? The risks of an invasion setting off reactions from a hideous civil war in Iraq to toppling regimes all over the Middle East is very real. Also at risk is the very international cooperation necessary to track Al Qaeda.
 * There is a batty degree of triumphalism loose in this country right now. We are brushing off world opinion as though it mattered not a whit what other people think of us.
 * "Blast from the past", Free Press (November 19, 2002).


 * I assume we can defeat [Saddam] Hussein without great cost to our side (God forgive me if that is hubris). The problem is what happens after we win. The country is 20 percent Kurd, 20 percent Sunni and 60 percent Shiite. Can you say, 'Horrible three-way civil war?'
 * "Appalling silence", Free Press (January 16, 2003).

Quotes about Molly Ivins

 * Ivins was first and foremost a journalist, in the highest and best sense of the word. She spent the time, did the digging. She had a remarkable gift for words, a command of English coupled with her flamboyant Texas wit. She directed her reportorial skill at the powerful, holding to account the elected and the self-appointed. She first questioned authority, then skewered it...In her final column, titled “Stand Up Against the Surge,” Molly wrote: “We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. … We need people in the streets, banging pots and pans and demanding, 'Stop it, now!' ”
 * Amy Goodman "Bang Pots and Pans for Molly Ivins", Democracy Now! (February 8, 2007)


 * Every so often, something happens that reminds you viscerally of the supremely unfair, amoral nature of the universe. For me, the death of Molly Ivins was one of those things. A genuinely funny woman with whom I agreed more consistently than perhaps any other pundit, Molly was often a source of inspiration to me. Her columns planted the seed for more than one Slowpoke cartoon.
 * Jen Sorensen "Slowpoke: One nation, oh my God!" (2008)