Nathan Barley

Nathan Barley is a Channel 4 sitcom written by Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris, starring Nicholas Burns, Julian Barratt, Claire Keelan, Richard Ayoade, Ben Whishaw, Rhys Thomas and Charlie Condou.

Episode 1

 * Nathan Barley: It's been out for three weeks in Japan. Where's yours?
 * Nathan Barley: His trousers fall down and there's like a piss stain on his pants. Check it out yeah, it is well bum.
 * Nathan Barley: Peace and fucking. Believe.
 * Nathan Barley: Bum. Keep it livid. Keep it dense, yeah?
 * Nathan Barley: Check out my website, yeah? It's well fucking futile.
 * Nathan Barley: Keep it chopped out, yeah?
 * Nathan Barley: Check it out yeah, trashbat.co.ck, my web site. Dot cock yeah, registered in the Cook Islands.
 * Nathan Barley: Wasp T12. It's got a massive number five 'cause it's the most common number.
 * Nathan Barley: Futures, yeah?
 * Nathan Barley: Keep it dusty.
 * Nathan Barley: Twice in one day. Well coincimental.
 * Nathan Barley: It's an online urban culture dispatch.
 * Nathan Barley: I'm a self facilitating media node.
 * Nathan Barley: Renegade production node.
 * Nathan Barley: My desk, A.K.A.S. Main Hub.
 * Nathan Barley: That is well jackson.
 * Nathan Barley: OK, here's the credos. Trash, as in what's all around us... and... bat.


 * Dan Ashcroft: They babble into hand-held twit machines about that cool email of the woman being bummed by a wolf.
 * Dan Ashcroft: Welcome to the age of stupidity. Hail the rise of the idiots.
 * Dan Ashcroft: Yeah, you're going to fuck an idiot.
 * Dan Ashcroft: French, Italian, Spanish, Dutch, French... err ...Southern French. Danish.


 * Ned Smanks: Yeah, well plastic.
 * Ned Smanks: Keep it foolish.
 * Ned Smanks: Trojan measure mate, Trojan measure.
 * Toby Yeah, you pair of towels.

Episode 2

 * Nathan Barley: Well cheeks, man, well cheeks.
 * Nathan Barley: You should come to the party Friday, it'll be well jackson.
 * Nathan Barley: You can come, you can come twice, you can come multiple times.
 * Nathan Barley: You should come, dollsnatch. It's gonna be totally fucking Mexico.


 * Dan Ashcroft: Shut up, fat arms.

Episode 3

 * 15Peter20: Hi, ho, hi. I'm 15Peter20 and I believe that pissing is like crying through your genitals.

Episode 4

 * Nathan: I want a real special coffee today, yeah. Triple size, four shots in it, and the best foam you've ever squirted from your milky pumps.


 * Doug: Debut album by the Veryphonics. It's actually induced the first of many nervous breakdowns... all of which I've chosen to ignore.

Episode 5

 * Nathan: (as Claire walks away) Still jealous. It's a shame. Try to nip it in the bud really Claire. Makes you lose your looks. Your face has gone sour.


 * Claire: Nathan. What is this saying about London's underclass?
 * Nathan: They're... not all ugly?


 * Mandy: (singing) Bad to have a bad uncle. Bad to have a bad uncle. Pain, pain of a monkey. Pain, pain of a monkey.

Cast

 * Nicholas Burns – Nathan Barley
 * Julian Barratt – Dan Ashcroft
 * Claire Keelan – Claire Ashcroft
 * Richard Ayoade – Ned Smanks
 * Ben Whishaw - Pingu
 * Rhys Thomas - Toby
 * Noel Fielding - Jones
 * Spencer Brown - Rufus Onslatt
 * Charlie Condou - Jonatton Yeah?
 * David Hoyle - Doug Rocket
 * Nina Sosanya – Sasha
 * Kevin Eldon - Nikolai the Barber
 * Julia Davis - Honda Poppet
 * Benedict Cumberbatch - Robin