National Lampoon's European Vacation

 National Lampoon's European Vacation (originally given the working title Vacation '2' Europe) is a 1985 comedy film. The second film in National Lampoon's Vacation film series, it was directed by Amy Heckerling, written by John Hughes, and stars Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo. Dana Hill and Jason Lively replace Dana Barron and Anthony Michael Hall as Griswold children Audrey and Rusty.
 * For over two thousand years, Europe has survived many great disasters. Now for the real test. Chevy Chase & his family are coming from America!

Clark Griswold

 * (The car is stuck in a traffic circle) Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament.
 * [singing] Oh the hills are alive with the sound of Griswold/this shit's been around for a very long time.
 * Yeah country's eons old kids, that's centuries to you and me.
 * [about Stonehenge] Take a last look kids, At one of man's most curious creations, built to stand the test of time and the elements, the war, you name it, A thing of glory for a million in future generations to see, and we were here.

Dialogue

 * [The Griswold's are checking out of the Royal Imperior Windsor Arms Hotel in London]
 * Clark: Don't I have to sign this? I think the Pig in a Poke people will take care of it.
 * Hotel Desk Clerk: It doesn't include telephone bill.
 * [Upon hearing this, Audrey gets shocked and slinks away.]
 * Ellen: Oh, that's no problem. We just made a couple of local calls.
 * Hotel Desk Clerk: Okay, that'll be...(punches numbers in calculator) 253 American dollars.
 * Clark: There must be some mistake.
 * Ellen: How can that be?
 * Clark: (reads bill) Who the hell called Chicago?...........AUDREY!!
 * [cut to next scene with the family driving to Stonehenge. Audrey is crying.]
 * Ellen: Audrey, don't cry. Your father didn't mean what he said.
 * Audrey: Yes, he did!
 * Ellen: Not really honey. He has nothing against Jack. He's not really going to cut off his balls. Aren't you Clark?...Clark?!
 * Clark: Okay, I won't.


 * Stewardess: Can I get you anything to drink?
 * Clark Griswold: Honey? I guess I'll have a Coke.
 * Stewardess: Do you want that in the can?
 * Clark Griswold: No, I'll have it right here.




 * [In Germany; Clark peers down at a village in the hills and tears come to his eyes]
 * Clark Griswold: There it is, kids. My mother's land.
 * Rusty Griswold: Dad, Grandma's from Chicago.
 * Clark Griswold: Shut up, Russ.




 * [In England]
 * Ellen Griswold: Clark, you're on the wrong side of the road.
 * Clark Griswold: Yes I know, honey, I'm also on the wrong side of the car.




 * Clark Griswold: Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids, that's where the Queen lives and works.
 * Audrey Griswold: What does she do?
 * Clark Griswold: She queens. And she vacuums.




 * Ellen Griswold: Look back there!
 * Clark Griswold: Yeah, it's a hooker...
 * Ellen Griswold: Look who she's with!
 * [Clark looks back, Rusty is with the hooker, then Clark walks up and puts his hand on Rusty's shoulder]
 * Clark Griswold: Russell Griswold!
 * Rusty Griswold: Oink-Oink my good man.




 * Rusty Griswold: Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do?
 * Clark Griswold: That was Rome not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.




 * [In England Rusty sees a man with a punk Mohawk haircut]
 * Rusty Griswold: That's it! That's what I want my hair to look like dad!
 * Clark Griswold: Oh Rusty you don't want to look like a rooster do you?




 * Clark Griswold: There's the left bank kids. I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right.
 * Rusty Griswold: The Bank of America.




 * [In Germany Clark is looking for their relatives house]
 * Clark Griswold: What are we looking for?
 * Audrey Griswold: Sechs (pronounced sex) Dad.
 * Clark Griswold: That'll do Audrey.
 * Rusty Griswold: Dad that's German for six.


 * Clark Griswold: Hello, my family and I were looking for sex.
 * German Neighbor: Schweinhund!




 * [Rusty and his California Girl join the rest of the family as they chase Ellen's kidnapper]
 * Clark Griswold: Get in.
 * Rusty Griswold: What Happened?
 * Audrey Griswold: Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.




 * Ellen Griswold: Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?
 * Clark Griswold: Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.




 * Bike Rider: It's just a flesh wound, honestly!


 * [Audrey arrives at the breakfast table]
 * Ellen: Hi Audrey, would you like something to eat?
 * Audrey: I'm not hungry. [shows that she received a letter from Jack and starts reading]
 * Jack: (voiceover) "Dear Audrey, I miss the shit out of you. But luckly, Debbie's been coming by to cheer me up."
 * Audrey: THAT BITCH!
 * Ellen: Is something wrong dear?
 * Audrey: No, I'm fine.
 * Jack: (voiceover) "I think it's time to ask ourselves this question. Do you think this relationship is strong enough that we consider meeting other people? I think it is."
 * Audrey: (heartbroken) Would you pass the croissants please? And the butters and jams?
 * Clark: Well it's nice to see you getting your appetite back.
 * Audrey: Yeah, well who have I got to be thin for?


 * Audrey: (calling Debbie on the phone in Rome) Hello Debbie? Audrey! Listen you and I have a big score to settle and you know exactly what I mean! So if you want to save this last shred of friendship between you and me, you'll do me this favor! I want you to book me on a Pan-Am flight out of Rome into Chicago today!...Yeah, I'll hold!.............Bitch!


 * Rusty: (last lines) Yep, the Griswolds are back.

Taglines

 * For over two thousand years, Europe has survived many great disasters. Now for the real test. Chevy Chase & his family are coming from America!
 * For centuries, Europe has survived many foreign invasions. Now for the real test. Chevy Chase and his typical American family are on the way.

Cast

 * Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold
 * Beverly D'Angelo as Ellen Griswold
 * Dana Hill as Audrey Griswold
 * Jason Lively as Rusty Griswold
 * Victor Lanoux as The Thief
 * Eric Idle as The Bike Rider