Nerima Daikon Brothers

Nerima Daikon Brothers is a musical comedy anime about two crime-fighting blues-singing brothers and their cousin. It was created by Shinichi Watanabe.

Episode 1: Please Touch Our Nerima Daikons
[singing]
 * Hideki: Gonna catch us a panda bear!
 * Ichiro: And then do what?
 * Hideki: And sell it to a kids petting zoo!
 * Ichiro: A petting zoo!
 * Hideki: We'll take the cash and we'll build our dome! Here comes our concert home, let's catch that bear!
 * Ichiro: I'll catch that bear!
 * Hideki: Grab him by the hair!
 * Ichiro: Grab a panda there!
 * Hideki: Hold it, bear!
 * Ichiro: I've got pesticide...
 * Hideki: No, we want the bear alive!
 * Both: No-No-No-No-No!



[Ichiro has placed a top hat on top of Pandaikon.]
 * Ichiro: Sexy, I mean on you.

[Pandaikon climbs into Ichiro's arms.]
 * Hideki: Hey Hey!, nice catch bro!
 * Mako: Let's make panda stew!
 * Ichiro: Stew? He's soft, not tender.
 * Hideki: Soft? Who cares about soft? He's eating our daikon field!
 * Mako: He probably is tender!
 * Ichiro: But, I mean really soft.

[Mako and Hideki are disgusted.]
 * Mako: Gross, that eye thing...
 * Ichiro: So soft!!



[Ichiro is being fondled by the Casting Director and after every word Ichiro's moans grow louder.]
 * Casting Director: I love hot dogs! Plump, juicy dogs! I love hot dogs! Zippity doo dog! Condiments, ooh. Don't forget the condiments! Saucy Doggy!




 * Casting Director: You ugly slut!
 * Mako: Ugly? Ugly?
 * Casting Director: Two things sicken moi, girls and ugly girls.
 * Hideki: Hold on sweetie, I'm with ya, I'm with ya on that, I'm with ya 100% hatin' on them ugly girls... You big fat ugly girl!

[Hideki takes off his pants and you can see a daikon right near his genital area] Now, you fairy, touch my daikon! 


 * Casting Director: I'm choking on vomit! Throw those bitches out of here!



[singing]
 * Casting Director: Moi is fabulous, Moi's fantabulous, and I've got the cash to buy more beauty for moi!
 * Boy-Toys: He is fabulous! We are top-shelf ass and he's got the cash to make us drop down our jaw!
 * Casting Director: Audition for dough, even though you've got no chance! Everyone thinks he's the next super star, so I take his cash and pants! Dom Perignon aflow, small things will stir and grow, fluids will mix in milky paradise stew! Moi's a sacred cow! [takes off his clothes to reveal a leather sort of out-fit] Moi's half-naked now! Come and fool the idiots and do what I do! Hoo Hoo Hoo!



[singing]
 * Hideki, Mako, Ichiro: Hey there pops! Pops, give us a rental please! Hey there pops! Give us a ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-trigger we can squeeze, squeeze, rental please! To beat a... a... slimy, bastard, butt-sleaze! Get him down on bended knees, and coughin' up audition fees. Oh yeah! Rent us somethin' for the job, please!



Episode 2: Sarang Hey Yo With My Balls
[singing]
 * Pachinko Parlor Owner: Pachinko! It means sweet love, It means sweet love in all our balls. Pachinko, Korean dolls, our balls are all a cut above. And this erases the faults on faces, the better to sell you more game. They'll suck your money and call you honey, that's why the vacuum is my name!



[singing]
 * Hideki, Mako, Ichiro: Hey there pops! Pops, give us a rental please! Hey there pops! Give us a ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-trigger we can squeeze, squeeze, rental please! To crush a... a... a... slimy pachinko, metal balls, former pinko, korean rat-fink. Oh yeah, rent us something for the job!



Episode 3: My Shot Will Crash Into Your Backside
(Mako has been taken captive)
 * Mako: Can't we please go back to Hide's fantasy?
 * Hospital Director: Have you forgotten his fantasy of my rectal exam?
 * Mako: If I don't speak...it's just 'cause my mouth is now full of vomit.



Episode 4: My Gadget (Detective) is Huge, Huh?

 * Yukika: Three very strange and similar incidents have occured. [The four look worried, and grow increasingly worried with each mentioned incident] The first was a merciless attack at the OHTE Production company. The second was an equally merciless attack on a popular Korean Wave Pachinko parlor. The third seemed to be some sort of toxic gas attack on the general hospital. This is, of course, not to mention, a recent missing fish cake incident...which was my doing!
 * Hideki, Mako: HEY, NOW!




 * Yukika: Hmm...you three are very strange. Exactly like the perps behind those unreported incidents!
 * Hideki: Just who are you callin' strange, lady!?
 * Ichiro: She's pointing...

(singing)
 * Yukika: One, two, men and a woman in hats and dark glasses...
 * Hideki: [laughs nervously]
 * Yukika: Vi-gi-lantes, they've been out kickin' some asses, now
 * Hideki: (spoken) H-hats and dark...?
 * Yukika: Best clue so far, I'll tell you the three said, "Our names are..."
 * Hideki: (spoken)T-they introduced themselves?
 * Yukika: Ne-ri-ma Daikon--
 * Ichiro: [looks at his watch] Oops, would you look at the time?
 * Hideki: Yeah, what a darn, cryin', awful shame. And the cop's not even done yet!




 * Yukika: [about the money] So what's this? If it's dirty, here's my pledge of honor; NO one gets out; straight, gay, or in between!


 * Yakuza Boss: Gaaah! Why, you stupid little bitch of a detective! I'll have you killed just for thinking that I was a homo!


 * Police Chief: Back in the closet!


 * Yakuza Boss and Police Chief: EVERYBODY ATTACK THAT BITCH!!!



Episode 7: Play With Mine! Sue Me!

 * Hideki: Mako!


 * Mako: Oh, Hideki. What?


 * Hideki: Mako, hey Mako!


 * Mako: What in the hell is wrong with you?


 * Hideki: [presents her flowers] Mako, marry me!


 * Mako: Hide, I know you're kind of a law-breaker and all, but this is different! This is the constitution we're talkin' bout! Cousins can't get hitched!


 * Ichiro: Technically, they can.

Episode 9: Cook Up an Erection in Mine!
[Mako and Hideki talking in their sleep]

Hideki: Mako....

Mako: Ichiro....

Hideki: Mako....

Mako: Ichiro....

Both: Makoro......



[Mako, talking to Hideki]

Mako: Donabe....nabe....wait, that's no ordinary pothead, you're Donabenabe! [throws off her nightgown, suddenly appearing in her normal clothes] YOU'RE A MEANIE!

Donabenabe: What?! I'm a big star on TV, how dare you call me a meanie! Ya stupid little whorebag! TAKE THAT! [hits Mako across the head with a cooking utensil] 

[Mako jumps onto Ichiro]

Mako: Ichiro! Donabenabe gave me a knock on the noggin and now I got a knot!

Ichiro: Knock it off.



[singing]

Mako: Donabenabe is puppet man! We gotta find out what is up his can!

Ichiro: Someone's hand?

Yukika: That's great, and I won't complain, but, don't go stealin' his cash! Don't rob that crook!

Mako: But he should bleed!

Yukika: Do it by the book!

Mako: What if WE CANT READ?!

Yukika: You better play by the rules, or I'll come down on you!

Ichiro: No-No-No-No-No!!!

<hr width=50%/> Mako: We were gettin' along just fine there, and you just had to go all porno on us!

Yukika: WHADDYA MEAN "GO PORNO?!?" You wouldn't know porno if man-juice hit you in your overly-made up eye, and BY THE WAY, I'm arresting you for stealing my attractive host boy!

Mako: Lady, you're a blitherin' 'idjiot'.

<hr width=50%/>

[talking to Yukika]

Ichiro: Remind me to never ask for your hand....

Yukika: They're too big for most men, but I'm gentle. Ask panda.

Mako: Remind me to puke!

<hr width=50%/>

[Singing wrap-up song]

Yukika: We're chasin' down a tiny little speeding bus! It's pretty good we're sitting in an airplane!

Mako: I don't mean to pee on your parade, but somehow, I don't think they will stop!

Ichiro: I'm with Mako.

Yukika: I know you've got some worries for your daikon pal, but sometimes, you gotta make a sacrifice!

Ichiro: Right now, you don't need to shot, but please just follow in the plane!

[the plane shoots the bus]

Hideki: Mako's shootin' me again!

Yukika: But it's not her this time, I will win!

Donabenabe: If you wanna rumble, I'll give out a pummel, air plan, warplane.....

Hideki: Warplane, WHO WROTE THIS SHIT?!

Donabenabe: You wanna see something special, huh? Here's my first attack!

Yukika: Plane goes 'shoot,' bus goes 'boom.' Battle fought and won.

[paper airplanes shoot toward the plane]

Mako: What happens when this sky is filled with trash? Flying tabloid hash!

Yukika/Mako/Ichiro: WOAH WOAH WOAH! WOOOAAAOOOH!

Mako: Now we're gonna crash!

Yukika: I think we'll be lucky if we all survive!

Mako: Get us out alive!

Yukika/Mako/Ichiro: WOAH WOAH WOAH! WOOOAAAOOOH!

Mako: Time to buckle up.

Yukika: Well if we're gonna die, I just think I'll say, Panda fly my way![hugs Pandaikon] I love you, every day! Panda I love yoouuuu! <hr width=50%/>

Episode 10
[Ichiro awakes to see Pandaikon's butt in his face, which shocks him into song.]

Ichiro: Little panda, got me goin'! Fluffy fluffy, tushy showin'! Look like a nipple waggin'! I've got nipples too!

---

Mako: [holding a bowl of money] Haha! Just enough for a stylish new face! Plastic surgeries' my pal!

[breaks into song]

Mako: Some people say that I'm a, beauty as I am. But could my eyes be larger, might my nose be grand?

Group of men: Hey little gal, don't you know? Your features can be better!

Mako: Yeah! I'm okay, but we all know that we can do much better! (We can all be flyin' through the sky!) Improvement, fast movement, I'm keeping up the 'tude! Enchantment, enhancement, is what the rich will do! If I don't have quite enough....

[breaks into Money Song]

---

[Mako, dreaming of Ichiro and her singing]

Ichiro: Let me thank you, Mako, my dear!

Mako: You're welcome honey, now, come right over here!

Ichiro: I feel like I can float on air....

Mako: I've got fish nets, up to my thighs!

Both: Let us take our dome metaphor! And marry it with that of Noah's Ark lore...

Ichiro: Our love is like a soaring dove!

Mako: Kiss me my Iiiiiichirooooooo!

---

Yukel: Girl, what makes you think I've been under the knife?

Mako: Your face...?

---

Yukel: Girl, what makes you think I've been under the knife?

Mako: Your face...?

---

Yukel: When in Rome, its easy as 1-2-3!

---

[Singing]

Both: OOOOOH!

Donabe: Concert dome!

Hideki: Baseball steal! Concert dome!

Donabe: Let's make a deal! If we build it!

Hideki: Everything will hum! If we build it!

Donabe: He will come!

Hideki: Who you talkin' bout?

Donabe: Nevermind, do the dance!

Both: I got the land, you got the dome! I got the band, let's do the show! Put 'er there, DAIKON DOME!