North (1994 film)

North is a 1994 American comedy film about a boy named North who falls asleep and dreams of divorcing himself from his parents and finding new parents more suitable to his liking.
 * Directed by Rob Reiner, screenplay by Alan Zweibel and Andrew Scheinman, based on the novel North: The Tale of a 9-Year-Old Boy Who Becomes a Free Agent and Travels the World in Search of the Perfect Parents by Alan Zweibel.

A family comedy that appeals to the child in everyone. (taglines)

Joey Fingers

 * A bird in the hand is always greener than the grass under the other guy's bushes. It's a metaphor used by gardeners and landscaping people in general.

Dialogue

 * North: Where the hell are my parents?
 * Winchell: North, did you say the word hell? My, the summer's really broadened you.
 * North: Winchell, I've got exactly 10 minutes to find my parents, and if you don't tell me where they are, I'll show you how the summer's broadened me, you little asshole!


 * North: How does that get me into a good college?
 * Governor Ho: Well since we don't use the letters B, C, D, and F, you're pretty much guaranteed to get straight As.


 * North: What are you doing here?
 * Gabby: Well, I finished all my chores, I thought I'd get a little shootin' in.
 * North: No, I mean, have you ever been an Easter Bunny?
 * Gabby: Easter Bunny?
 * Pa Tex: Careful, son, Gabby's killed men for less than that.
 * North: Oh, sorry.
 * Gabby: No harm done.


 * Ma Tex: [to North] We'd like you show you how much we're looking forward to having you as our new son. Ready, Pa?
 * Pa Tex: Ready, Ma!
 * Ma Tex: [singing] We had a son who was trampled by a ton of longhorns, but you're very cute to fill his boots as flat as they may be.
 * Pa Tex: [singing] You'll yell "yippee-yi=yo" with the rodeo 'til the day's done.
 * Ma Tex: [singing] Then you'll make a lot of pals with buffalo gals.
 * Pa Tex: [whispering] Just leave some for me!
 * Ma Tex: Hey, there!
 * Ma Tex, Pa Tex: [singing with a chorus] We'll barbecue steaks and stew, feed you pumpkin pie, 'til your can's bigger than the big ol' Texas sky!
 * Ma Tex: [singing] You'll grow tall and play football, be famous!
 * Pa Tex: [singing] You'll grow more, own a chain of stores, marry Betty Lou!
 * Ma Tex, Pa Tex: [singing with a chorus] Oh, North, North! Grow more!
 * [song ends]
 * Pa Tex: 'Nother rib, son?


 * News Reporter: Arthur Belt, the rising politician who drafted the bill...
 * Arthur Belt: [Winchell shuts off the TV] Wait! They were talking about me!
 * Winchell: Relax, Arthur, pretty soon you'll be hearing your name so much even YOU will be sick of it.
 * Arthur Belt: I highly doubt it.

Taglines

 * North's hopping mad with his parents, and now he's off on a world wide adventure!
 * Ever wonder what your life would be like with different parents? A boy named North did.
 * A family comedy that appeals to the child in everyone.

Quotes about the film

 * I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie.  Hated it.  Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it.  Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it.  Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.
 * Roger Ebert, "North," RogerEbert.com (22 July 1994).
 * The premise of North sounds flat, the previews look insipid, and, while the movie doesn't turn out nearly as bad as either would lead you to believe, North is still a lackluster production.
 * James Berardinelli, "North (United States, 1994)," ReelViews.net (1994).

Cast

 * Elijah Wood — North
 * Bruce Willis — the Narrator / Easter Bunny / Cowboy (Gabby) / Tourist / Sleigh driver / Joey Fingers / FedEx truck driver
 * Jon Lovitz — Arthur Belt
 * Jason Alexander — North's father
 * Julia Louis-Dreyfus — North's mother
 * Alan Arkin — Judge Buckle
 * Dan Aykroyd — Pa Tex
 * Reba McEntire — Ma Tex

Voice cast

 * Bob Newhart — Bernard
 * Eva Gabor — Bianca
 * Lacey Chabert — Sonja
 * Tia Carrere — Julie
 * Jim Cummings — Ollie
 * Corey Burton — Mr. Chairmouse
 * Alan Cumming — Waiter
 * Tress MacNeille — Mrs. Tremaine
 * Ed Gilbert — Boris the Eagle
 * Jack Angel — Jake the Rabbit
 * Phil Proctor — Jeff the Rabbit
 * Cheech Marin — Frank the Rabbit
 * Robert Rodriguez — Jacky the Snowy swan
 * Bryan Adams — Robert the Goose
 * Mark Mancina — Florentino the Polar bear
 * Frank Welker — Moose