Ocean's Thirteen

Ocean's Thirteen is a 2007 film in which Danny Ocean rounds up the boys for a third heist, after casino owner Willy Bank double-crosses one of the original eleven, Reuben Tishkoff.
 * Directed by Steven Soderbergh. Written by Brian Koppelman and David Levien.

What are the odds of getting even? 13 to one. taglines

Danny Ocean

 * First of all, I know the guys you'd hire to come get me, they like me better than you. Second of all, you're not going to the cops, because...well, let's face it, you're not going to the cops. Third, you shook Sinatra's hand. You should know better, Willy.
 * [to Rusty before leaving] You should settle down. Have a couple of kids.

Rusty Ryan

 * [to Danny before he leaves] Next time, try keeping the weight off in between.
 * Could you make it any more complicated?
 * [Referring to Linus' facial prop] Oh I told him that the nose plays... the nose plays.

Linus Caldwell

 * [reference to Damon's last line in Rounders] It is not a prop for prop's sake!
 * [Linus is talking to his dad on the phone] No, the Brody can work! What, just because you have the greatest cover known to man, you have to tell me what to do? Congratulations! No, maybe you're getting soft! [Danny puts his hand out for the phone] No, I won't put Danny on. [Rusty puts his hand out for the phone] Or Rusty. Just–Goodbye, Dad! [Hangs up]
 * [At the airport, homage to real life] I guess I'll see you when I see you
 * I'm so deep into Pepperidge I am him.

Willie Bank

 * [To Danny Ocean] Some people I take seriously tell me you're a serious guy.
 * Oh, I don't lose. People who bet on me to lose, lose. And they lose big.
 * I don't want the labor pains; I just want the baby!
 * You know, you're half smart, Ocean.

Others

 * Saul Bloom: When they opened The Flamingo, one day it was closed, the next it was open. End of story. I know, I was there.
 * Saul Bloom: Kensington Chubb here!
 * Saul Bloom: Did I say I was walking away? Let's gut the sonovabitch.
 * Reuben Tishkoff: We'll talk about it when I'm dead.
 * Roman Nagel: You're analog players in a digital world. You're done.
 * Roman Nagel You're like the Morecombe and Wise of the thievery world, but even they went off the boil after a while
 * Yen: Shit! Shit! Shit!
 * Saul Bloom: (Talking to Willie Bank as Kensington chubb) Well, so far, this establishment is of, Aces!

Dialogue

 * Rusty: [Meeting Danny on a plane to Vegas] What's the latest?
 * Danny: Nothing. They say the first 24 hours are...
 * Rusty: Right... Did she understand?
 * Danny: It's not their fight.
 * Rusty: Did she understand?
 * Danny: ...It's not their fight.


 * [Danny and Rusty are greeted by Linus]
 * Danny: Hey, Linus.
 * Linus: Hey, where are Tess and Isabel?
 * Danny: [impatient] It's not their fight!
 * Linus: [defensively] Hey, whoa!


 * Reuben: So... where's the partner's desk gonna be?
 * Bank: Oh, there is no partner's desk, Reuben. You're out.
 * Reuben: What? Are you gonna throw me off the roof?
 * Bank: Well, I don't want to.


 * Reuben: Did you know the Inuit people send their elders out on an ice floe to die when they're too old to hunt?
 * Danny: Reuben, that's just a myth.


 * Saul: Reuben...he always was too trusting.
 * Danny: Is, Saul. Is.
 * Saul: Right, is.
 * Rusty: [Yen says something in Mandarin] Well, you try talking him out of it next time.
 * Danny: Look, Bank hurt Reuben. I know how that makes me feel. I know what that makes me want to do.
 * Turk: Well, I'll you what I'd do, and I don't care if it gets messy.
 * Virgil: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.
 * Livingston: And I'll inject him.
 * Basher: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.
 * Rusty: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...
 * Danny: But...Even though Bank stepped over the line, we need to do what is best for Reuben.
 * Rusty: Which means we offer Bank a "Billy Martin."
 * Turk: And, what? He takes it and gets away with it?
 * Linus: Those are the rules.
 * Basher: No, those are the rules for someone who understands the rules, which Bank don't. He already broke them. So he don't get the chance.
 * Frank: For Reuben...I think we give him a chance.


 * Rusty: Well, she said she liked surprises...
 * Danny: I don't think that is what she meant.
 * Rusty: You think?
 * Danny: So she dropped the remote...
 * Rusty: And I put the towel back on.
 * Danny: Well, those are the waters.


 * Rusty: So then she says, "What did I do?" and I say, "What do I look like, a pancake eater?"
 * Danny: Hmm. So you left it there on the floor?
 * Rusty: Right on the floor.
 * Danny: For how long?
 * Rusty: Next morning.
 * Danny: [nods] Good.


 * Danny: What did you say?
 * Rusty: What could I say?
 * Danny: Nothing.
 * Rusty: That's what I said.


 * Rusty: Relationships can be...
 * Danny: Sure.
 * Rusty: But they're also...
 * Danny: That's right.


 * Danny: That's your idea?
 * Linus: Well, we've shaken all the trees, we've looked under every rock, we've searched every... I mean... We've talked to everybody we can trust. I know it's not a great idea, but it is an idea... and I think as long as we have one idea, we shouldn't give up.
 * Rusty: I was really hoping to avoid that this time.


 * Bank: This town might have changed, but not me. I know people highly invested in my survival, and they are people who really know how to hurt in ways you can't even imagine.
 * Danny: Well, I know all the guys that you'd hire to come after me, and they like me better than you.


 * Abigail Sponder: [Feeling a waitress' arm] I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. Turn in your uniform.
 * Waitress: I only gained four pounds, you can't!
 * Sponder: Sorry, sweetie, but your Body Mass Index is nowhere near where it's supposed to be.
 * Waitress: But Ms. Sponder-
 * Sponder: Oh no, honey. It's your butt that's the problem. [Smugly walks off, Linus having observed the whole thing]
 * [cuts to Linus, Frank, Rusty, and Danny talking]
 * Frank: Man, you can't fire no waitresses based on appearance, that's just unconstitutional.
 * Danny: IF they were waitresses.
 * Linus: Yeah, they're actually hired as "models who serve", so that Bank can monitor their personal appearance.
 * Rusty: It's a cruel, cruel practice.


 * Danny: Couldn't we just shut it off, you know, cut the wires?
 * Roman: That could work. Even better, you could just kick the plug right out of the socket!
 * Danny: I'm serious-
 * Roman: No, short of walking in with a bloody magnetron around your neck- You do know what a magnetron is?
 * Danny: [pause] Something that screws up the Grecco?
 * Roman: Short of that...I...[laughs] I can't believe I am even talking about this, because...this is a problem!
 * Danny: That's what I said.
 * Rusty: But if we could-
 * Roman: No, there is no 'if'! It can not be shut off! I mean, you need a real natural disaster, an act of God!
 * Rusty: But if we could beat it-
 * Roman: You can't.
 * Rusty: But if we could-
 * Roman: You can't.
 * Rusty: You could.
 * Roman: [gives them a look] Don't flatter.
 * Danny: Look, IF we could shut it off, how long would it take to reboot?
 * Roman: Because it's so sophisticated, 3 and a half minutes.
 * [Danny and Rusty look at each other]
 * Danny: Might be enough.
 * Rusty: Pick your natural disaster.


 * Danny: [Stands with Rusty in front of the Bellagio] I remember when this used to be The Dunes. Reuben taught me to shoot craps here when I was a kid. I'd play Hard Ways and Double Sixes; he straightened me out. I was twenty...two.
 * Rusty: The first time I ever met Reuben, he looked me off getting cheated at an all-dealers game at the El Rancho, then he bought me breakfast. [Looks off to the side] The Sands was there, Desert Inn...
 * Danny: They built 'em smaller back then.
 * Rusty: They seemed big.
 * Danny: ...Town's changed.


 * Basher: [pretending to be a stunt biker] Mr. Bank. Do you know what Chuck Berry said every night before counting one, two, three, four?
 * Bank: What did he say?
 * Basher: [lifting a finger up for each word] Pay me my money!


 * Rusty: [notices Danny teary-eyed] Are you alright?
 * Danny: Yeah, um, I just bit into a pepper.
 * Rusty: [sees the television is on Oprah, where she gives a family a new house] Is that... are you... are you watching Oprah? With a bottle of wine? Did you TiVo this?
 * Danny: I was reading the paper.
 * Rusty: [unconvinced] With the sound at full volume?
 * Danny: It's...not just the kids. I mean, I'm happy for the kids. [Rusty nods] How's it going in Mexico?
 * Rusty: Well, Turk's there. [pause] Are they really going to build her a new home?
 * Danny: Yeah, for the whole family.
 * [Rusty also starts to sniffle and tear up]


 * Linus: Have you guys been talking to my dad?
 * Danny: Why would we do that?
 * Linus: That's not a "no."
 * Danny: Look...
 * Rusty: He just wanted to know how the nose was working for you.
 * Linus: Oh, I knew it, man! He just can't leave it alone! What did you tell him?
 * Rusty: Oh, I told him the nose plays.
 * Linus: The nose does play.
 * Rusty: The nose plays.
 * Danny: It's great, it's huge.

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 * Benedict: You think this is funny?
 * Danny: Well, Terry, it sure as shit ain't sad.

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 * Benedict: [When Danny, Rusty, and Linus ask for his help] Number one: If any of you try to screw with me, you're dead. And I'll be looking into the whole operation. Number two: If I lend you this money, I'm your senior partner, last money in, first money out...And you will double my investment.
 * Danny: Double.
 * Benedict: ...Is that a yes?
 * Rusty Ryan: Double.
 * Benedict: [nods] That monstrosity that Bank calls a hotel casts a shadow over my pool. Break him. Break him in half. The man has no taste. Yet every time he opens a hotel, he wins a Royal Review Board Five Diamond Award. Every time he wins, he celebrates by...
 * Danny: We know, by buying one for his wife.
 * Linus: You mean five.
 * Rusty: One is five.
 * Benedict: Number three: I want you to steal the diamonds.
 * Rusty: It can't be done.
 * Linus: We don't have the manpower.
 * Danny: Or the time.
 * Rusty: Or a way in.
 * Danny: We get caught, we go away for life! We're not going to risk that just so you can get his diamonds!
 * Benedict: Oh, I don't want them. I just want him to lose what matters most to him. Do what you want with them. But either you steal the diamonds, [shrugs] or you get somebody else to finance your drill.

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 * Linus: [carrying a bag for Basher] Bash?
 * Basher: Up here! [Linus gives him the bag. He looks inside] Hey! Where are the mags? [Linus looks back up to him] LINUS!
 * Linus: Look, I can't buy those things!
 * Basher: I need them! I can't leave! Why are you such a-?
 * Linus: I'm sorry! Ask someone else! Ask Livingston!
 * Basher : You're such a wowzer! Here. [hands a letter to Linus] Read this to Reuben. I've done research: positive messages get through.
 * Linus: I can't say this.
 * [Drill equipment starts to act up, Basher runs to fix it]
 * Basher: No, no, I am saying it, you're just a vessel.
 * Linus: Come on, Basher! Look, why don't you take a break, I'll watch all the equipment, you go read it to him.
 * Basher: Shit! You know when they were digging the tunnel they had teams of guys monitoring this.
 * Linus: Yeah? How many?
 * Basher: TEAMS!

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 * Benedict: Think he's gonna fall for this?
 * Danny: You did. You ready?
 * Benedict: I was born ready.
 * [Danny rolls his eyes]

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 * Turk: Are you in yet?
 * Virgil: I hate that question.

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 * Turk: Don't change the facial structure.
 * Virgil: I'm making you taller. Don't you want to be taller? You're a midget in 34 states.
 * Turk Malloy: Yeah, well, I'm an animal in the other 34. [Virgil turns and stares at him] 24... 22.

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 * Danny: [briefing Roman on Bank and his hotel] Bank's swinging for the fences on this one. Forget weekenders and conventioneers, he's built this place for whales. It's a shoo-in for the Five Diamond Award. The marble was hand-picked in Italy...
 * Rusty: The chefs stolen from the highest rated restaurants in the Michelin Guide book...
 * Danny: And in the villas for his big players, the silverware is actually gold. Now Bank's greatest strength is also his weakness: Ego.

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 * Danny: Now the top casinos can clear $3 million just off the floor. Bank, with his high-level players and no limits, is projecting 5. But in exchange for the loans, he had to give up six of the nine seats on the board, so he doesn't control his own company, and a couple of the guys he brought in aren't friendlies. So he has to clear $500 million in the first quarter, or he gets dumped out of his own hotel.
 * Roman: And of course Bank wants another Five Diamond Award, fifth in a row.

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 * Danny: [discussing the Bank heist plan with Roman] We're going to get his whales.
 * Roman: How?
 * Rusty: He talked to Denny Shields.
 * Roman: Denny Shields? After he bragged about you guys to Toulour and started that whole slog?
 * Rusty: We need him.
 * [Scene cuts to Ocean and Denny Shields conversing at a cafe]
 * Denny: I should've kept my mouth shut. I mean, he was just some guy and I guessed I pissed him off...
 * Danny: It's okay, Denny. You had no idea who he was, so just let it go.
 * Denny: No, but really-
 * Danny: Just let it go. Let it go.
 * Denny: Well, okay. Everything else is set. I got 18 whales. Now I spoke to their managers, I spoke to their handlers, and I spoke to their assisstants. Every one of them is going to leave. We're going to do it in two tiers. I'm going to leave first, they're going to follow.
 * Danny: Good.
 * Denny: But you have to make sure these guys win, 'cause these fellas usually lose, and when they lose, they get comped.
 * Danny: They're going to win big.
 * [Scene cuts back to Danny, Rusty, and Roman]
 * Roman: How big?
 * Danny: Five-hundred
 * Roman: Million? That night, just the group of you?
 * Rusty: No–
 * Danny: It's a Reverse Big Store.
 * Roman: Right...
 * Rusty: Doesn't matter who wins...
 * Roman: As long as the casino loses, yes. That might actually work. So, you'll need to rig...
 * Danny: Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Slots.

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 * Roman: Now, back to Macro. What is your exit strategy? The players won't be in on it, so they'll all think it's their lucky night, but you'll never get them out of there with their winnings, they're going to gamble it all back. That's Vegas and that's your problem.
 * Danny: Well, it's A problem, but it's not The problem.
 * Rusty: The problem is security. We're drawing a blank. It's a little spooky.
 * [Scene cuts to Linus talking to Danny on the phone, in London]
 * Linus: The specs aren't on the gray market, the black market or any other market and all I keep hearing is there's never been a system like this. Now I found out where they designed it but I can't even get in the building. I've blown all my buy money, my bribe money, four of my best IDs and I am nowhere...well not only am I nowhere, I'm pretty sure I'm being followed.
 * Danny Ocean: Do you have anything?
 * Linus Caldwell: Yeah I think I have a name but I don't even know if its right. They're calling it-
 * [Scene cuts back to Danny, Rusty, and Roman]
 * Roman Nagel: The Greco. The Greco Player Tracker.

<hr width="50%"/>
 * [during this scene almost constantly someone is talking over some other's voice]
 * Virgil: Long past checkout time, sir.
 * The V.U.P.: What? I'm in no condition to checkout, ( I have...)
 * Virgil: You've overstayed your reservation, sir. We need the room.
 * The V.U.P.: But, Nevada innkeeper laws make it illegal to evict a (guest who is sick, you can't do...)
 * Turk: Except in case of public health and safety, ( sir. Occupants have evidenced a flagrant)...
 * Virgil: You're obviously experiencing some sort of abrasion, sir.
 * Turk: ...repeated disregard for acceptable standard for personal HYGIENE.
 * The V.U.P.: I haven't disregarded my hygiene!
 * Turk: Sir, (but yes)...
 * Virgil Malloy: (SIR,) what I am trying to say is...
 * Turk: ...you have.
 * Virgil: ...you've gone nose deaf.
 * The V.U.P.: What?
 * Virgil: You're oblivious to your effect on other guests.
 * The V.U.P.: I really don't see what effect (I've had on other guests if I'm up in my room, and)...
 * Turk: Fifteen minutes! Fif-teen minutes! Fifteen minutes!
 * The V.U.P.: ...up, (up here)
 * Turk: (Fif...) hey, fifteen minutes. Pack your things or we will pack them for you. Get the picture?
 * The V.U.P.: What?
 * Turk: Do you get the picture, sir, (do not make us)...
 * Virgil: Pack your things.
 * Turk: ...come back here, friend.
 * Virgil: Pack your things!
 * Turk: Friend.
 * The V.U.P.: (Hey,) okay. Okay!

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 * [Linus is passing Yen off as a whale]
 * Abigail: Did you say Mr. Wang is involved in real estate Mr. Pepperidge?
 * Linus: Yes, that is correct.
 * Abigail: I only ask because his name doesn't show up on our standard database.
 * Linus: And Mr. Wang and I have worked very hard to keep it that way. Look, he owns all of the air south of Beijing.
 * Abigail: [disbelieving] The air?
 * Linus: Let me put it to you this way: Try building something taller than three stories in the Tiangjin province, and see if his name turns up on your database then.

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 * [For this, everyone but Basher's voice is from a radio]
 * Basher: Bank's going to run the prints off the card machine.
 * Virgil: Damn, he's good.
 * Danny: He'll get Livingston's ID and known associates.
 * Rusty: That's us.
 * Saul: Uh, what do we have in place for this?
 * Danny: Nothing. We all get arrested and Bank will have the best night of his life.
 * Rusty: We can't let it get to Bank.
 * [During above conversation, Basher notices an ad promoting stunt biker Fender Roads and notices he resembles him somewhat and then notes his "Speaking With Distinction" book.]
 * Basher: I know what to do. We'll set up a Cartwheel. Back of the house, 15 minutes.
 * Danny: Who's going to hack this?
 * Basher: Well, the ideal person's in the back of a car in handcuffs.
 * Turk: I can handle it.
 * Dann: Anybody else?
 * Virgil: This is Virgil, I'll give it a shot.
 * Turk: I can handle it!
 * Danny: Virgil, it is.
 * Rusty: Get it done, Virg.

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 * Danny: Shut it down, guys. Shut her down!
 * Turk: It is shut down.
 * Rusty: This is no time for jokes, fellas.
 * Turk: Does it sound like I'm laughing, sweetheart?

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 * Abigail: [after a small earthquake] What was that?
 * Linus : You felt it too?

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 * [Danny confronts Benedict the day after the heist]
 * Benedict: Danny.
 * Danny: Terry.
 * Benedict: You called an audible last night.
 * Danny: That's what I do when I see a blitz coming.
 * Benedict: A blitz?
 * Danny: I guess Toulour just happened to be on the roof at the same moment we were coming out with those diamonds.
 * Benedict: How did you know I would go for them?
 * Danny: Because you're you and I'm me.

Taglines

 * What are the odds of getting even? 13 to one.
 * Revenge is a funny thing.
 * How To Steal Half A Billion Dollars, In 3.5 Minutes?
 * When you cross one Ocean, you cross them all.

Cast

 * George Clooney - Danny Ocean
 * Brad Pitt - Rusty Ryan
 * Matt Damon - Linus Caldwell/Lenny Pepperidge
 * Elliott Gould - Reuben Tishkoff
 * Bernie Mac - Frank Catton
 * Al Pacino - Willie Bank
 * Don Cheadle - Basher Tarr/Fender Roads
 * Casey Affleck - Virgil Malloy
 * Eddie Jemison - Livingston Dell
 * Scott Caan - Turk Malloy
 * Shaobo Qin - Yen/Mr. Weng
 * Carl Reiner - Saul Bloom/Kensington Chub
 * Eddie Izzard - Roman Nagel
 * Michael Mantell - Dr. Stan
 * Ellen Barkin - Abigail Sponder
 * Julian Sands - Greco Montgomery
 * David Paymer - The V.U.P.
 * Andy Garcia - Terry Benedict
 * Jerry Weintraub - Denny Shields