Ozzy & Drix

Ozzy & Drix (2002–2004) is an American animated TV show based on the 2001 film Osmosis Jones. Picking up one year after the film, street-smart white blood Osmosis "Ozzy" Jones and his cold pill partner Drix get sucked from their host body Frank by a mosquito and end up in the body of a teenage boy named Hector Cruz. After defeating a deadly virus, they both got jobs as private investigators and vow to help Hector keep healthy and guide him through the trials of adolescence.

Home With Hector [1.1]

 * [First lines]
 * Ozzy: [narrating] Welcome to the City of Frank. 85 trillion cells and still growing, which is getting to be a big problem. Y'see, when a body gets this old and congested, there's a lot more upkeep. And in Frank, everybody's workin' overtime. I should know. The name's Jones. Osmosis Jones. I'm a cop. That's my partner Drix. He's a pill, but he's cool. We got a tip that Scarlet Fever's visiting a chop shop south of the stomach, below the beltway, deep in bowel town. I've been after this bad booty bacteria half my life. He wasn't gettin' away this time.


 * [a mosquito bites Frank in the leg, sucking up Ozzy, Drix and Scarlet]
 * Drix: Abducted by aliens?
 * Ozzy: Yeah. Read about it all the time. Cell's goin' about his business, next thing he knows, he's layin' naked in a petri dish with a giant eyeball lookin' down.
 * Drix: Oh, my! [covers crotch]


 * [Hector swats the mosquito and a group of cells come to save Ozzy and Drix from coagulation]
 * Maria: Welcome to Hector.
 * Ozzy: Hector?! What's a Hector?
 * Maria: Your new home.
 * Ozzy: Woah! Hold the phone, lady! I didn't ask for no transfer!
 * Chief Gluteus: Is there a problem here?
 * Ozzy: Yeah, I'll say there's a problem! I got a promotion waitin' for me in the City of Frank, and I'm stuck here in no-man's land!
 * Chief Gluteus: Intruders, eh?
 * Ozzy: Intruders?! The only thing intrudin' here is your belt size! Now who do we have to see about gettin' outta this backwater hole?
 * Chief Gluteus: The Mayor.
 * Ozzy: Well, what are we waitin' for?! I want action! I want justice! I-- [the chief grabs him by his shirt] Whoa, watch the membrane!
 * Drix: Thanks for saving us. It was much appreciated.
 * Maria: No problem, big guy.
 * [as the cells leave to see the Mayor, they are unaware that Scarlet Fever survived]
 * Scarlet: Hector, eh? Looks smooth like grand new. Just the place for a big bugging bacteria like me to have a fresh start.


 * [Ozzy and Drix arrive at the Mayor's office]
 * Ellen: Excuse me, but are you the aliens?
 * Drix: Actually, the aliens were the ones that brought us here.
 * Ozzy: Well, well, well, a lady mayor. At last, a public server I can relate to.
 * Ellen: [pushes Ozzy away] Cool down, blue boy. I'm your legal council, Ellen Patella. [shows Ozzy her card] I brought some papers for you to sign. Now, if we work fast, maybe I can get you spleen card.
 * Ozzy: What, a spleen card?! I ain't workin' in no stinkin' speen!
 * Ellen: It's either that or spit detail.
 * Ozzy: Uno momento! Maybe you're not gettin' this picture. You're talkin' to Osmosis Jones here! White blood cell, police legend, and number one germinator from the City of Frank! I don't need no lawyer and no spit job! All I need's the next flight outta here!
 * Drix: [sees a screen showing Hector brushing his teeth] My word, what is that?
 * Ellen: That's the Eye Channel. It shows us everything what Hector sees.
 * Drix: Really. What a handsome young man.
 * Ellen: That's Hector Cruz.
 * Mrs. Cruz: Honey, breakfast is ready!
 * Hector: Be right there, Mom!
 * Ellen: He's thirteen.
 * Drix: No wonder the city's unpolluted.
 * Ozzy: Y'know, he looks a lot like Frank when Frank was that age.
 * Drix: No!
 * Ozzy: Yeah! I've seen the photos in Frank's memory banks. Kinda used to be in good shape.
 * Drix: What happened?
 * Ozzy: Fast food, late nights, smokin'. It all started goin' downhill around this age. I mean, I was just a small blood cell back then. I didn't know what was happenin'.
 * Drix: It occurs to me, Ozzy, considering our... situation and all, that perhaps we might be more useful in Hector.
 * Ozzy: And what?! Start all over again?! Are those fruity bubbles backin' into your brain?!
 * Drix: No, all I am saying is this could be a chance to help give someone a clean start. With our knowledge, we...
 * Ozzy: Hold on.
 * Drix: What?
 * [they turn to see Hector groaning and rubbing his head]
 * Ozzy: I don't think he feels good.
 * [Mayor Spryman arrives with two brain advisors and Chief Gluteus]
 * Brain Adviser 1: I rushed over as soon as I got the number! Sir, he's already at 98.8.
 * Brain Adviser 2: Actually, .82. A small fever, but nonetheless...
 * Mayor Spryman: I don't care! He's going to Jackie Desoto's party tonight, and that's that! It's Hector's first teen party, and Christine Kolchuck from French class is gonna be there.
 * [the Brain Advisor murmur in agreement]
 * Ozzy: Are you brain cells or brain-dead cells?
 * Elena: Jones...
 * Ozzy: If Hector's gettin' sick, you should make him rest and drink lots of fluids, not listenin' to this fool!
 * Elena: Jones! This is our mayor, Paul Spryman.
 * Ozzy: [after staring at Spryman] You're pullin' my membrane!


 * [Scarlet has taken down Gluteus and corners Maria until he is briefly frozen by Drix]
 * Ozzy: Yo, hot lips! Well, looks like you've been paintin' the town red, huh?
 * Scarlet: Oh, you haven't seen anything, Jones! Wait till I get to the heart, where I can do some real damage!
 * Ozzy: Too bad I'll have to spoil your plan!
 * Scarlet: Oh, you think so?


 * [after Ozzy defeated Scarlet by making him go through the spleen]
 * Ozzy: [narrating] After we nailed Scarlet Fever, all of Hector's symptoms went away. So he got to go to the party afterall. I could see why he didn't wanna miss it. As for Drix and me, well, the mayor decided to let us hang around. And with Ellen's help, we opened our own detective agency. Right behind Hector's left retinum, prime real estate! [to Drix] Y'know, Drix, you were right. We could do a lot more good here. I mean, thirteen's a scary age. There's hormones, pimples, B.O., and hair growing up all over the place!
 * Drix: Oh, my.
 * Ozzy: Hector's gonna need someone who's been around the block a few times. Somebody who can help him through these changes and keep him healthy.

Reflex [1.2]

 * [while chasing down a germ in their car, Ozzy and Drix accidentally ram into a leg nerve, making Hector accidentally trip the school bully Ricky Sales]
 * Mayor Spryman: [confronting Ozzy for his reckless behavior] So, thanks to you, Hector tripped Ricky Sales! RICKY SALES!! Do you know what the other kids call him?!
 * Ozzy: [nervous] Uh, Ricky Sales?
 * Mayor Spryman: RICKY THE RIPPER!!! Now, do you know what I'm gonna do to you, Jones?
 * Ozzy: [sarcastically] Slap my wrist and let me go?
 * Mayor Spryman: [mimics buzzer] Wrong! Hector's gonna get creamed, and it's all your fault!
 * Drix: But Mayor, you can't blame everything on Ozzy. After all, we were in pursuit of a dangerous bacterium.
 * Brain Adviser 1: [whispers into Spryman's ear] Who's the driver?
 * Mayor Spryman: Yeah. Okay, but who drove the car?
 * Drix: Um, Ozzy.
 * Brain Adviser 2: [whispers] How's about the cord muscles?
 * Mayor Spryman: Who almost ran innocent cord muscles off the road?
 * Drix: Ozzy again.
 * [the first brain adviser whispers something inaudible to Spryman]
 * Mayor Spryman: And who bashed into Hector's nerve?!
 * Drix: I suppose that would be...
 * Ozzy: Yo, partner! Who's side are you on?!


 * [after refusing to give Spryman his private eye card, Ozzy is sent to the nose as punishment for his mistake; Ellen arrives to visit him]
 * Ozzy: Ellen! Why are you here? Have they sent bail yet?
 * Ellen: Yes, for one million carbs.
 * Ozzy: A million carbs?!
 * Ellen: Hey, I talked them down from a billion. [hands Ozzy some papers] They have a solid case against you, Ozzy. Creating a danger for the body, ignoring a direct order from the mayor, resisting arrest.
 * Ozzy: Okay, okay. What do we do?
 * Ellen: Fill these out. I'll try to make a deal.
 * Ozzy: You want me to cop a plea? To what?
 * Ellen: Insanity. Trust me, it's a slam dunk.


 * [after Hector gets pushed by Ricky, the power in his nose shuts down, allowing Jones to escape]
 * Chief Gluteus: I don't want excuses. [notices Spryman exiting his office] I want him caught now!
 * Mayor Spryman: Him? Him who?
 * Chief Gluteus: Oh, um, Osmosis Jones, sir. He broke out of the nose.
 * Mayor Spryman: What?! Well, you've gotta catch him! He's gonna get in the way of my plan!
 * Chief Gluteus: Don't worry! We're right on his trail! By the way, what is your plan?
 * Mayor Spryman: First, we beg Ricky for forgiveness. And then we run screaming like a frightened little girl.
 * Chief Gluteus: I like it!


 * [Ozzy goes into the Cerebral Cortex and uses a device to control Hector's movements]
 * Chief Gluteus: [stops Ozzy] Hold it right there!
 * Ozzy: C'mon, Chief, I'm wired for action.
 * Chief Gluteus: I'm not joking, Jones!
 * Ozzy: Neither am I. Just gimme a minute, he'll be okay.
 * Chief Gluteus: Putting Hector in the hospital is not okay!
 * Ozzy: Sorry, Chief, but I gotta do this.


 * [with Ozzy's help, Hector manages to scare Ricky away his martial arts moves]
 * Mayor Spryman: Okay, guys. The game's over. I don't want you fighting when the media shows up.
 * Ozzy and Gluteus: What?
 * Ozzy: Did you say the media?
 * Mayor Spryman: Sure. They're gonna wanna whoever came up with the idea for all those crazy moves. Naturally, I'll say it was me.
 * Chief Gluteus: Uh, but sir, I did most of the manipulation there.
 * Mayor Spryman: Or I could just tell those reporters how you let Jones escape.
 * Chief Gluteus: Yes, sir! That's... well done.
 * Ozzy: What did I tell ya, Chief? Our mayor is one smart cell. Pauly, you're a real take-charge guy. In fact, once I get my private eye card back, I may even have more compliments for ya.
 * Mayor Spryman: I am good, aren't I?

Strepfinger [1.3]

 * [Hector suffers from a fever]
 * Drix: Ugh, a stakeout on the hottest day of the year! Couldn't we battle the dread forces of contagion someplace a tad more comfortable, say poolside at Hector Grand Hotel?
 * Ozzy: No way, Drix! Heat means fever, fever means infection, and infection means our boy Hector needs us right here. Besides, the last time we went swimmin', your bubbles carbonated the whole pool!


 * [after Drix saves Ozzy from falling into a vat of acid in Hector's iron works]
 * Drix: Officer Amino?
 * Maria: Drix, you okay?
 * Drix: Yes, Maria, I'm at the challenge with courage and fortitude! Ozzy screamed like a little girl though.
 * Ozzy: Hey!
 * Chief Gluteus: Jones! Do you have any idea what you've done?!
 * Ozzy: Besides stoppin' a gang of bugs from robbin' the iron works?
 * Maria: Those weren't ordinary bugs, Ozzy.
 * Chief Gluteus: They are known as... The Red Menace! They bring fever, inflammation to whatever they touch! Cell after cell falls before them in a... uh, hideous domino effect!
 * Maria: We were trying to capture their leader so we would find out where they would strike next.
 * [Mayor Spryman's limousine arrives]
 * Mayor Spryman: Stop everything! I'm declaring a state of emergency!
 * Chief Gluteus: What's wrong, sir?
 * Mayor Spryman: Hector's going to the doctor! [Ozzy, Drix, Maria, and the Chief gasp in shock] I hate doctors! Hide me!
 * Chief Gluteus: Well, that's it then. They'll send in a special cold war operative. This bug's way out of our league.
 * Ozzy: What?! We don't need no special agent! I can handle this Red Menace all by myself!
 * [Drix, Maria, the Chief, and the Mayor begin laughing at Ozzy]


 * [after the doctor injects a shot into Hector's arm, a James Bond-esque cell appears before the main crew]
 * Cell: The name's G. Penicillin G. What's the situation?
 * Ozzy: Hm. Handsome, cool accent, slicker than earwax, I hate him already!


 * [after Drix and Penicillin G leaves him behind to investigate the throat, Ozzy beats them to it and eavesdrops and the Red Menace's conversation via binoculars]
 * Number 2: Well, Number 3, I hope your bungling at the iron works hasn't thrown off our inspection schedule, hmm?
 * Number 3: Of course not, Number 2. In fact, we've just programed the protein sequence that will trigger the infection.
 * Number 2: Excellent! Number 1 can finally proceed with his plans to give Hector a nasty case of pneumonia.
 * Ozzy: Pneumonia?! I gotta get that disk!


 * [Penicillin G sacrificed himself to save Ozzy while Ozzy managed to snatch the protein sequence]
 * Drix: Poor Penicillin G. His bright flame extinguished by an adolescent loogie.
 * Ozzy: Hey, I feel just as bad! I mean, the guy sacrificed himself to save my my butt, and all I ever did was dis him. I owe the G-Man, Drix! I gotta finish what he started! And this protein sequence is the key!
 * Drix: Ozzy, G was a skilled operative. You don't have his cunning, his breeding, his... pinash.
 * Ozzy: Maybe not, but I have his briefcase!


 * [while trying to act like Penicillin G, Ozzy runs into the girlfriend of the boss of the Red Menace, Ernst Strepfinger]
 * Ozzy: Hey, I don't like the way you're talkin' to the lady, Strepfinger!
 * Strepfinger: And I don't like meddlesome blood cells.
 * Ozzy: Well, I don't like your casino!
 * Strepfinger: Well, I don't like brazen oafs who make googly eyes at my girlfriend, and think they can ruin my plans!
 * Ozzy: Well... you ugly!
 * [the germs gasp in shock]


 * [with the help of Penicillin G, Ozzy manages to disable the Strep bombs and defeat Strepfinger]
 * Penicillin G: Thanks to you, Agent Jones. Hector should up and about in not time.
 * Ozzy: Hey, couldn't have done it without ya, G-Man! So where ya off to now?
 * Penicillin G: Sticky and I are gonna take a little holiday. It seems I just have time.
 * Sticky: I told you: I like dangerous things.

A Lousy Haircut [1.4]

 * [after Ozzy captures two germs in spite of Drix's large size, they both go to a movie which is really a viewing of Hector getting his haircut at a barbershop]
 * Ozzy: I told ya a movie would cheer you up. Hey, want some polyp corn?
 * Drix: No thanks.
 * [someone throws a container at Drix]
 * Cell 1: Hey, super economy size! Get outta the way!
 * Maria: Who threw that?!
 * Cell 1: Oh, uh, she did!
 * Cell 2: Quit it!
 * Drix: It's alright, Maria. Perhaps I should move to the back.
 * Cell 3: Hey, Godcella! Hurry up!
 * Cell 4: That ain't no cell!
 * Cell 5: That's Godpilla! [the audience all laugh]


 * [during the movie, Ozzy notices something jumping off the barber's comb and onto Hector's Hair]
 * Drix: Humiliation, thy name is Drix.
 * Ozzy: Are you gonna lie there with a pillow over your head all day? Dang, I haven't seen you this depressed since that time you didn't get invited to the Medicine Ball.
 * Drix: Sometimes, I think I should have dissolved a long long time ago.
 * Ozzy: Would you get over it already?! Yeah, you're big! So what?! So I had to take on two heavily-armed viruses by myself! So they nearly ruptured my membrane! So you wrecked my beautiful perfect car that I loved like a brother! Wh... Where was I going with this?
 * Drix: I simply can't imagine. Look, let's face it. I'm just too big.
 * Ozzy: Hold on! Hector's headin' into the boy's room! As soon as he comes his hair, I'll see it.
 * Drix: See what?
 * Ozzy: Whatever jumped onto his head.
 * [Ozzy zooms into Hector's hair and notices what appears to be white balls attached to its head]
 * Ozzy: Oh, no! This is bad Drix! And I don't mean overdue-video bad! I mean grenade-in-your-pants bad!
 * Drix: Congratulations, you peaked my curiosity. [looks through Ozzy's binoculars]
 * Ozzy: Check out the left temple.
 * Drix: Hm. Fickle scalp cells always flaking off.
 * Ozzy: Nuh-uh! That ain't dandruff, Drix! It's eggs. Lice eggs. And when they hatch, Hector's scalp is gonna be one big blood buffet for a bunch of six-legged monsters!
 * Drix: Oh, there goes lunch!

<hr width="50%">
 * [Ozzy goes to Mayor Spryman's office to warn him of the lice eggs on Hector's scalp]
 * Mayor Spryman: Jones. What is it now? More jockets?
 * Ozzy: No, it's worse! We got lice eggs!
 * Mayor Spryman: [sarcastically] Ooh, eggs! Scary! What are you afraid of? Cholesterol?
 * Ozzy: We gotta do something before they hatch! I need your approval to lead an expedition to the scalp.
 * Brain Advisor 2: Sir, after basketball practice today, there's a lice check in the nurse's office. I'm quite certain she will deal with the situation.
 * Ozzy: Lice check?! Do you have any idea what happens if they find lice?! Hector'd have to stay home from school, maybe for weeks!
 * Mayor Spryman: No school for weeks! Just think of it. Video games, endless TV, raiding the snack cupboard all day! [hugs his brain advisors]
 * Ozzy: Well, we can't jus--
 * Brain Advisor 2: Your audience with Mayor Spryman is at an end, Mr. Jones.
 * Ozzy: Fine! If you guys won't do anything, I'll take care of this myself.
 * Brain Advisor 2: If you want an out-of-Hector experience, go ahead. But without an anti-coagulation suit, as soon as you hit the outside air, you'll begin to oxidize.
 * Brain Advisor 1: Yes, you will get all stiff and dried up and turn into a big icky scab!
 * Ozzy: And I'll still be better-looking than you, poindexter!

<hr width="50%">
 * Ozzy: Yo, Drix! We're gonna go to the scalp and rouse some louse!
 * Drix: Where did you get that anti-coagulation suit?
 * Ozzy: Hey... The... Uh... This guy gave it to me.
 * Drix: [notices the badge on the suit] HPD? Jones, you took that from the police department!
 * Ozzy: Hey, I'm just borrowin' it! It's an emergency!
 * Drix: [sighs] Go without me. A big clumsy goon such as myself will only drag you down.
 * Ozzy: Drix, I can't go without you. I need you on this one. Hector needs you. Do you know what'll happen to him if the other kids find out he has lice? They will laugh at him!
 * Drix: They... They will?!
 * Ozzy: Oh, yeah! And make jokes behind his back!
 * Drix: He'll be an outcast. A misfit!
 * Ozzy: Ya got that right!
 * Drix: Spurn by society! Hated and reviled! All this simply because he's too big! TOO DARN BIG!!!
 * Ozzy: Uh... We're not talkin' 'bout Hector anymore, are we?
 * Drix: Alright! It's De-lousing time!

<hr width="50%">
 * [thanks to their mysterious informant, The Mole, Ozzy and Drix journey through the scalp to get rid of the lice eggs]
 * Ozzy: [singing] I don't know, but I've been told! Hector's feet have stinky moles! Soundoff! One, two! Sound off! Three, four! Bring it on home, Drix! C'mon!
 * Drix: No, thank you.
 * Ozzy: Y'know, lately, you've been about as much fun as a stomach flu.
 * Drix: Well, since I seem to bother everyone else, why should you be an exception? Perhaps I should remain out here, where there's room for me! Where I can be myself and revel in the rugged grandeur of the majestic snow-capped peaks!
 * Ozzy: Drix, those are zits.
 * Drix: Oh, well, that's just lovely.

<hr width="50%">
 * Christine: How embarrassing would it be if they found bugs in your hair!
 * Hector: Yeah, gross! That'd be worse than taking your sister to the prom!
 * [Christine and two other girls exclaim in disgust]

<hr width="50%">
 * [The Mole secretly placed camera's on Hector's scalp, filming Drix's heroic actions with the giant louse; the footage is being shown in the theaters]
 * Cell 1: [throws another can at Drix] Hey, double wide! I can't see the movie! [Drix stands up] Oh, my gosh! You're... you're...
 * Drix: Moving to the back of the theater. I want to be sure everyone can see this movie. Excuse me, pardon me.

Oh, My Dog [1.5]

 * Ellen: On behalf of the assimilation committee, I welcome you to the City of Hector, Mr...
 * Cell: Uh, Pauly. Call me Pauly.
 * Ellen: Alright, Pauly. Hector is a small city, but we're growing fast. Or... we will be once puberty kicks in.
 * Pauly: Little tings get big.
 * Ellen: [stares at Pauly in confusion] Yes, that's right, Pauly. Now, this is the address of our department of employment. They'll find you a job. It's in a germy area, so be careful, okay?
 * Pauly: Germy area. Be careful. Germy area.
 * Ellen: Sweet guy. I hope he's gonna be okay.

<hr width="50%">
 * [on their way home from School, Hector and Travis run into a stray dog]
 * Travis: It's a cool dog. I wonder whose it is.
 * Hector: No color or anything. I guess he's a stray. [the dog jumps up and licks his face]
 * Travis: Hector, my man, looks like you got yourself a free dog. Score!
 * Hector: I'm gonna call him... Uno.
 * Travis: Okay, why?
 * Hector: 'Cause he's number one.
 * Travis: Uh, well, don't look now, but I think he just did number one on your shoes.
 * Hector: Uno! [Uno jumps up and licks his face again]

<hr width="50%">
 * [Pauly has been terrorizing Mucus Beach by secretly turning into a humongous monster; a restaurant owner tasks Ozzy and Drix to track it down because the HPD do not believe him]
 * Drix: What I don't understand is how something that big could vanish without a trace.
 * Ozzy: There's only one answer, Drix: It's an allergen. Allergies are triggered by allergens, and the thing about allergens is one minute they look normal, and the next, they're Germosaurus Rex! Let's split and see what we can find.

<hr width="50%">
 * [a dog germ is formed when some of Uno's saliva went into Hector's nose; Drix finds it in an alley and shows it to Ozzy]
 * Drix: Ozzy, look! [the dog germ licks Ozzy's face] I found a pet! I found a pet!
 * Ozzy: So, naturally, you figured you'd smear his drool on my face. [the dog germ sniffs in Ozzy's jacket] Get you nose outta there! [the germ grabs the two cheese-boogers] Hey that's our bonus meal! [he and the germ fight over the cheese-booger]
 * Drix: Dander, release. [the germ let's go, making Ozzy fall to the ground]
 * Ozzy: Dander?!
 * Drix: Oh, that's what I named him, and I'm going to buy him fancy collars, and I'm going to smother him in love and affection forever and ever and ever! Oh, look, he even knows tricks! Okay, Dander, play dead! [Dander does so] Dander, play Osmosis! [Dander shifts his face to look like Ozzy]
 * Ozzy: Yo, your dog's makin' fun of me! Tell him to knock it off! [Dander barks mockingly] Seriously, man, cut it out! [Dander barks mockingly again] I ain't playing with you! [Dander continues mocking him] I said STOP IT!!! [Dander mocks him again and his face turns back to normal]

<hr width="50%">
 * [Dander chases Pauly to an alley, but Pauly turns back into his small self, which makes it look like Dander was the allergen]
 * Chief Gluteus: Jones! I should have known you had something to do with this mess!
 * Ozzy: Yeah, well you also should've known that that mustache makes you look like a walrus, but there ya go!
 * Maria: How about you boys lay off the macho junk and we figure out what happened here?
 * Ozzy: Oh, I can tell you what happened: Allergy attack! Big one!
 * Chief Gluteus: Allergy, huh? Any sign of the allergen?
 * Drix: [moves away] Ozzy, no.
 * Ozzy: Sorry, Drix. It's for the good of Hector. [Drix sighs] We followed the allergen's tracks, they led right to that dog.
 * Chief Gluteus: Right. We'll take it from here. [two cops come to take Dander]
 * Drix: But it isn't his fault! Wait!
 * Ozzy: Hey, you can visit him in jail.
 * Chief Gluteus: We don't lock dangerous animals up, Jones. We dissolve'em. Take him to the stomach acid, boys.
 * Drix: Dander! [the HPD drive away, taking Dander with them] I'm so sorry, boy.
 * Ozzy: Drix, I didn't know.
 * Drix: Oh, I'm sorry! Are you laboring under the delusion that I WILL EVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN?!? WELL, ALLOW ME TO CORRECT THAT!! GOODBYE!!! [dashes away]
 * Ozzy: Drix!
 * Maria: You had to do it, Jones.
 * Ozzy: Yeah, I guess, but I still feel lower than foot fungus.

<hr width="50%">
 * [after playing with Uno, Hector goes under a sneezing fit]
 * Mrs. Cruz: Oh, poor baby!
 * Hector: Mom, I'm 13!
 * Mrs. Cruz: Hector, I'm afraid you're allergic to the dog. [leads Uno into the backyard]
 * Hector: Allergic? No. Hey, I'm totally fine.
 * Mrs. Cruz: I'm sorry, Hector, but it looks like we'll have to get rid of Uno.
 * Hector: No!
 * Mrs. Cruz: My friend Sue does animal rescue. I'll call her tomorrow. Don't worry. She'll find him a good home.

<hr width="50%">
 * [Ozzy and the HPD find out too late that Pauly is the allergen when he goes through a stage 3 attack and absorbs all the white blood cells in the body; Drix manages to free the cells by shooting a freeze inducer at Pauly while Dander escapes and reunites with Drix]
 * Ozzy: Alright, who's been playing rugby with my head?
 * Drix: Come on, Dander can help us track the allergen!
 * Maria: We've got to find it before it goes to stage 3 again!
 * Ozzy: Can I just stay here and die peacefully? [Maria drags him away]

<hr width="50%">
 * [thanks to Dander, Ozzy, Drix, and Maria defeat Pauly by making Hector sneeze so hard, he launches Pauly out of the nose]
 * Mrs. Cruz: [arrives with a bouquet of flowers] Look what your dad brought home, Hector, aren't they nice? [Hector goes into another sneezing fit; his mother feels his shirt] Hector, you've got pollen all over your shirt.
 * Hector: Yeah. I fell in some flowers and weeds and junk on the way home.
 * Mrs. Cruz: Honey, you're allergic to pollen, not the dog!
 * Hector: I am? Does that mean...?
 * Mrs. Cruz: Yes! You can keep him! [lets Uno back into the house]
 * Hector: Uno!

<hr width="50%">
 * Drix: Come on, Ozzy! Don't you wanna play a little catch?
 * Ozzy: I'd love to Drix, but your dog buried me again!

Cast

 * Phil LaMarr - Osmosis "Ozzy" Jones
 * Jeff Bennett - Drix
 * Justin Cowdin - Hector Cruz
 * Tasia Valenza - Maria Amino
 * Jim Cummings - Chief Gluteus
 * Alanna Ubach - Mayor Paul Spryman and Mrs. Cruz
 * Vivicia A. Fox - Ellen Patella
 * Rob Paulson - Travis Lurn
 * Jeffrey Tambor - The Mole
 * Kimberly Brooks - Christine Kolchuck
 * Joe Lana - Mr. Cruz