P-Valley/Season 2


 * P-Valley 1 2 Main

Pussyland [2.01]

 * Autumn: [To Andre] I guess Chucalissa crept up in my veins like a good vice.


 * Woddy: Ain't you scared?
 * Murda: No. I ain't scared of the living.


 * Autumn: Nothing works. Paint the walls red, bloodstains also bleed back through.


 * Big Al: Hand me that hex key.
 * Clifford: Chile, what that is?


 * Clifford: [To Autumn] Ain't no use in being the richest bitch in the graveyard, Hailey.
 * Autumn: [To Clifford] I gave you 15 percent of ownership.
 * Big Al: Is that what getting rid of bodies goes for nowadays? I'm just asking ... for a friend.


 * Big Al: We got denied a relief loan again, talking about how we non-essential.
 * Clifford: How is we non-essential? Do they know how many niggas run around here with blue balls?


 * Clifford: Jupiter, I hope you don't got no baby-daddy drama.
 * Jupiter: I don't even know who he is so we good.


 * Mercedes: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.


 * Autumn: C'mon. Last dance.
 * Mercedes: Sheee-it.


 * Uncle Clifford: [To patron] I'm gonna need you to come deep inside.


 * Patron: [To Autumn] You dancin' tonight?
 * Big Al: You don't want to see that dance.
 * Autumn: Need a receipt?
 * Patron: No. Uh-uh. I don't need no evidence.
 * Big Al: Smart man.

Seven Pounds of Pressure [2.02]

 * Autumn: [To Andre] I'm waiting on that big-dick offer. You gonna give it?


 * 'Woddy": [To Murda and Big Teak] Somebody's got to be alive to bury y'all.


 * Clifford: I'm too much of a cat to be fucked by a kitten.


 * Uncle Clifford: [To Corbin] Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.


 * Uncle Clifford: It wasn't five years ago that you didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
 * Corbin: Well, thank God for dad daddies.
 * Clifford: And dead mayors too.


 * Autumn: [To Corbin] We appreciate your low-dick offer.
 * Uncle Clifford: But we're wondering if there might be some bigger dick out in the sea.


 * Autumn: Might have gotten us out of a hole. But even the Devil started out as an angel.

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 * Big Al: [To Mercedes] Might have gotten us out of a hole. But even the Devil started out as an angel.

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 * Bailey: Do you ever get (Autumn's) real name?
 * Keyshawn: You never ask a stripper her real name. If she's gonna give it to you, you gotta earn it.

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 * Uncle Clifford: [To Big Al] Well, tell them we ain't open ... yet.
 * Corbin: Well, closed legs don't get fed.

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 * Mercedes: I ain't no motherfuckin' coach.
 * Autumn: You are, actually.

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 * Big Al: Give me your name and give me your number.
 * Big Bone: They call me Big Bone, baby.
 * Big Al: Big Bone, meet Big Al.

The Dirty Dozen [2.03]

 * Murda: You kiss sloppy.
 * Keyshawn: You welcome, nigga.

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 * Duffy: Your friend [whispers] can't be dropping knowledge like that and walking away.
 * Roulette: She do that sometimes.

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 * Whisper: You really might be from Hell. You got a lot of darkness in you.
 * Roulette: Excuse you?
 * Whisper: That wasn't no shade. We all need a little Hell in our lives. It makes you appreciate the light.

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 * Mercedes: I ain't no ho.
 * Farrah: You're getting paid $10,000 a weekend to have sex in a condo with my husband, correct? Don't worry. I don't get paid that much and I have to lay under him all fuckin' week. Want to trade places?
 * Mercedes: Hell, no.

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 * Patrice: [To Wayne] The only reason you on the ballot is because the mayor's dead. But I digress.

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 * Clifford: [To Big Bone] You'd best bring your best poppin' playlist because we opening doors, legs, and wallets...

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 * Clifford: Can't nobody replace Mercedes.
 * Autumn: Everybody can be replaced.

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 * Clifford: [To Autumn] 69 is a real nice position to take. It shows you can suck it and take it at the same damn time.

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 * Patrice: [To Terrika] You sure look like Mercedes when you lie.

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 * Coach: I don't need the exposure.
 * Mercedes: But I bet you need that Mercedes experience.

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 * Mercedes: [To Roulette] Mind the business that pays you.

Demethrius [2.04]

 * Mercedes: [To Autumn] You're an easy bitch to love but an easier bitch to hate.

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 * Clifford: You look like a man whose wife has just cheated on him.
 * Andre: I am.
 * Clifford: Well, damn.

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 * Clifford: You need some sugar.
 * Ernestine: All the sugar I need is that black panther over there.

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 * Farrah: What if I fall?
 * Mercedes: What if you fly?

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 * Duffy: [To Clifford] You know I got ho's and bro's in all different areas, don't ya?

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 * Farrah: [To Mercedes] So why were you in such a hurry to leave us all high and wet?

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 * Brittany: What you doin', Andre? You ain't gonna win.
 * Andre: Well, I've certainly got nothing left to lose.

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 * Autumn: Corbin, what's you doing here so early in the morning?
 * Corbin: It's noon.
 * Autumn: I guess I'm still on stripper time.

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 * Murda: Woddy, where my promos at?
 * Woddy: You would look good in some lashes and some nails, too. Uncle Murda is the name.

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 * Ernestine: Well, there goes the 'hood. Well, you just earned me a side of 'not your business' with that salad. Well, I'm going to give it right back to you, topped with a side of jalapenos, because I'm a classy bitch.

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 * Roulette: [To Big L] Well, you just earned me a side of 'not your business' with that salad. Well, I'm going to...

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 * Brazil: 'Lette, I don't know why you complainin'. Work on the street is you got diverse income streams.
 * Roulette: Bitch, what you talking about?

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 * Clifford: [To Lauren] You that heifer that fell asleep under the table after throwing up her whole divorce...

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 * Lauren: Most importantly, everyone needs to wear a mask at all times.
 * Uncle Clifford: Don't you see what the fuck's on my face?

White Knights [2.05]

 * Rome: Don't worry. I already cleared everything with your little Justin Bieber. He's great.
 * Keyshawn: That wasn't the deal. I gotta get home.

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 * Keyshawn: [To Rome] Rome, can you stop? You makin' me seasick.

Savage [2.06]

 * Big Bone: Why you don't do security for The Pynk no more? You must have tried to save one of them ho's that wasn't ready to be saved.
 * Diamond: Who told you that?
 * Big Bone: Your eyes. They're so heavy that every time you be fuckin' me, they be closed. Next time, I want those chestnut eyes wide open.

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 * Big Bone: What is it?
 * Diamond: It's protection.
 * Big Bone: You don't seem like the type of nigger that needs no protection.

Jackson [2.07]

 * Autumn: [To Clifford] History is important, yes, but so is the future.

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 * Autumn: I thought you ghosted me.
 * Uncle Clifford: Child, I'm the last ghost you need to be worried about in this here building.

The Death Drop [2.08]

 * Mercedes: Maybe I ain't meant to fly no more.
 * Clifford: Niggers come to see you fall, not fly. And your injury ain't in your shoulder. It's in your head.

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 * Uncle Clifford: [To Mercedes] Uh-uh-uh. Ain't no cryin' in The Pynk.

Snow [2.09]

 * Stripper: Mercedes must get it from her momma.

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 * Andre: Blame my rise in the polls for the passion I have for my hometown.
 * Newscaster: Or perhaps that stripper magic.

Mississippi Rule [2.10]

 * Corbin: [To Andre] Don't mind me. Liquor makes me a little cunty.

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 * Brittany: Well, I guess I deserve this, huh?
 * Andre: Yeah, you fuckin' do.