Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt

Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt is a Japanese anime television series produced by Gainax, as well as a series of tie-in media developed around it. The series ran from October to December 2010 on BS Nittele (a free-to-air satellite service of Nippon Television).

Excretion Without Honor and Humanity/Death Race 2010 [1.01]

 * Panty and Stocking: O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth. May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came. Repent, motherfucker!

The Turmoil of the Beehive/Sex and the Daten City [1.02]

 * Brief: I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought!
 * Panty: Had this been anymore fucking predictable?
 * Stocking: Nope. She's a queen, she's a bee, she's a queen bee, we fucking get it!


 * Panty: We girls do whatever we want! Ain't that right, Barby? Barby Dream Cemetery sold separately! Repent, motherfucker!


 * Stocking: "Innocent yet sexy are the words most commonly used to describe the luscious, young sex symbol who has recently made a comeback. No more dangling babies over balconies or breaking windows, Panty has made a fresh new start." Shitballs, she is not that innocent. Come on. I just had a puddingasm! That sticky goo in my mouth all day! She's here, ten thousand years later. Whore. How's it going over there, Panty?
 * Panty: Just dandy. Hey, remember that time you made a really fucked up commercial?
 * Stocking: [from commercial] Glaze my doughnut. Eat my doughnut. I got a doughnut for you!
 * Panty: Hahahaha! Fuck him with a chainsaw, girl! That was hilarious! Haha!
 * Stocking: Suck a cow tit, skank!
 * Panty: Only if you're serving it with your glazed doughnut holes. Too bad you got fired.
 * Stocking: I wasn't fired. I just refused to sell out, unlike some whores I know. I prefer to keep it on the D.O. I don't wanna fuck up our premiere unlike you.
 * Panty: Fine. Sit there and flick it while my pampered white ass gets famous without ya!
 * Stocking: That reminds me. Make sure to warn the ushers at the movie to leave an extra seat for that pampered ass to spread out.


 * Panty: WHAT THE FUCK!? Put it back on! Seriously, he's about to hogtie me. You don't want to miss it.

Catfight Club/Pulp Addiction [1.03]

 * Stocking: JESUS! You always have to fuck up everything, don't you!? This is my room. Your's looks like a hooter's asshole exploded! Look at your toilet! Look at your bathtub! Look at what you put in your mouth and I'm not just talking about dick! You're nothing but a filthy, ho-bagging thief!
 * Panty: Remember that time when I told you to relax? You need some inner fucking peace.
 * Stocking: I do not understand how I can ever be related to you.
 * Panty: [holds a bag of Death Babanero spicy chips] Try these, chica. I'll let you steal some of my food if that'll make you feel better. We cool? [Stocking puts the bag to the ground, where Chuck gets fire breath from the chips] Look, hooker, I'm trying to be fucking nice here.
 * Stocking: You know I don't like spicy food!
 * Panty: You do realize that if you only eat sweet shit, you're going to end up a Fatty McFatterson.
 * Stocking: Whatever! Here's a newsflash, Flatty McFlatterson, all the weight I gain goes straight to my boobs and I am okay with that!
 * Panty: Yeah, and your nipples are the size of dinner plates. Mine are small, fierce, and oh, God, are they sensitive!
 * Stocking: You like guys who freak out over your titters. I say titters because your boobs are so small, they actually make me laugh.
 * Panty: Ah. It's cool. Your tits keep you from looking like a little girl. I get it. Then, when he gives you candy, you won't feel like you're hooking up with a pedophile.
 * Stocking: You mean like that idiotic muscle-head piece of shit you keep on the back burner? Oh, by the way, I diddled him. I diddled him real hard and he said I was the best fuck he had ever had. Way better than you. Not that he should procreate, but I would totally have his abortion.
 * Panty: Well, I fucked that little masochist freak you like so much! He was tying me in up, so, heads up, Buttercup! His fatass was all jiggly, just like your fancy pudding and giant skin sacks! Keep your mouth off my things!
 * Stocking: Likewise, bitch!


 * Garterbelt: Now, don't forget. Angels, another mandate has arrived. Get your lazy asses to the scene, immediately! Alright, this is the part where you're supposed to get the fuck up!
 * Stocking: No way.
 * Panty: Yeah, that's not gonna happen, Garter.
 * Garterbelt: Holy shit. What now? Son of a bitch.
 * Panty and Stocking: You heard what I said! I'm not going anywhere with that goddamn waste of space whore! Who the fuck are you calling a whore!? Hey, fuck off, cuntbag! I'm so fucking over you! Quit copying me!


 * Panty and Stocking: O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth.
 * Panty: Guess what's next.
 * Demon Worker: Everyone! Prepare to surge forth with the seeds of anger!
 * Demon Workers: Yeah! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth!
 * Panty: Yada yada with great vengeance. And furious anger!
 * Demon Worker: Now, brothers! Let the final ejaculation flow!
 * Panty: Time to repent motherfuckers!

The Diet Syndrome/High School Nudical [1.04]

 * Panty: Ugh, I knew it! It’s sweet shit! Sorry, those pedophile moves don’t work on me anymore! Stocking, how do you do it? I can actually feel my ass dimpling! Uh, chica? Did you hear me? What the fuck’s a fondant anyway? It looks like plastic! You take ‘em. They’re from Angel House, that place everyone’s getting their nipples hard over.
 * Stocking: No, thank you! I have no interest in things of that nature!
 * Panty: Seriously? Your call! Looks like Chuck’s getting the runs tonight! Chuck! You’re up. Want some cellulite? Ready? Hold this on your nose! Hold still, damn it! Good boy! Okay, catch! Catch! Do the thing with the catching! You’re so fucking useless! Drool! Good boy.
 * Stocking: WAIT- [Chuck eats the cake, to her dismay]
 * Panty: Oopsie! Did you decide you wanted some?
 * Stocking: Did you decide you wanted to shut the fuck up?
 * Panty: Oh, Stocking?
 * Stocking: Yes, whore?
 * Panty: Are you on a diet? You can tell me!
 * Stocking: Of course not! Why would you say that? I’m naturally petite and thin! I’m the reason tweens make themselves hurl!
 * Panty: Uh oh! Peek-a-boo! I saw it! There it is! There it is again. Hello! Still there. Fatty! Fatass! One more hit! Fatty! Fattyfattyfattyfattyfatty- [Stocking starts laughing away]


 * Stocking: O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth. May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came. Repent mother fucker! Woops. This must've shrunk in the wash.


 * Panty: Holy shitfuck!
 * Panty: Hello you! Quite the banana hammock on that one! It's fantastic! O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, drifting between Heaven and Earth and shit. Repent Mother Fucker! Eat this!

The Runny/Vomiting Point [1.05]

 * Panty: Well, God-fucking bless that guy.


 * Panty: Where the fuck did you come from?
 * Garterbelt: Your momma's ass.


 * Girl: Repent, mother fuckers! Suck on this, asshole! Fuck!


 * Panty: Repent, mother fucker!

Les Diaboliques [1.06]

 * Kneesocks: Rules keep behavior in check, suppression keeps thoughts in check, and physical training keeps them from looking like fat enchiladas! These things bring about perfection and beauty!


 * Panty and Stocking: O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth. May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came! Repent motherfuckers!


 * Scanty and Kneesocks: Break, O Earth; Dry up, O sea; Burn out, O sun; Grant us power Earthly leaders and gate keepers of Hell. Guide us, makers of the underworld! We are high-class Demon Commanders!
 * Scanty: I'm Scanty!
 * Kneesocks: And I'm her darling little sister, Kneesocks!


 * Panty: Well, fuck me in the keyhole.

Trans-homers/The Stripping [1.07]

 * Panty and Stocking: O pitiful shadow...
 * Panty: ...lost in the...
 * Stocking: ...dark...
 * Panty: O evil...
 * Stocking: ...spirits... uh... Heaven and Earth...
 * Panty and Stocking: Uh... something about maidens... ...and striking down with great vengeance and furious anger!
 * Stocking: Returning you.
 * Panty: Somewhere for something.


 * Garterbelt: You both need to stop spending money on bullshit! You're angels, not hipsters. Hey, cock jockers! I'm not just talking to fuckin' hear myself! You spent over three million dollars! Fish-flavored lube; titty-enhancer; toys that ain't sex toys; who the fuck orders that much food?! You bitches eat so much you're gonna start sweating bacon grease!
 * Panty: Garter, if you're gonna act like a baby, you might as well crawl back up your giant vagina where you belong.
 * Garterbelt: You're the ones acting irresponsible, so you crawl into my vagina!

...Of the Dead/1 Angry Ghost [1.08]
Stocking: Repent, motherfucker! 
 * Panty: This is some bad shit, Stocking!
 * Stocking: Just shut up and hammer!
 * Panty: [she bars the door] Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! [a dog zombie appeared by the barred door; Panty uses a gun against the dog] Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! They're all immune!
 * Stocking: That's why you should hammer, stupid!
 * Panty: Fine. I will! [she hits the dog with a hammer] Take that, dog dick!
 * Stocking: You've been shooting 'em for three hours! And you think a hammer's gonna magically do the trick?
 * Panty: Shut up, bitch! Where did these freaks come from, anyway?
 * Stocking: Yeah, the cops didn't say anything about all these fucking ghosts, obviously.


 * Tom Croose/Kneesocks: Respect the cock and tame the cunt. And of course, by cock, I mean our hallowed justice system. That great blind cock that towers over us all and comes down hard on those who do bad! Like those who killed Mr. Husband! And by cunts, I of course mean CUNTS! Cunts like these two fallen angels who ruthlessly snatched away the life from our poor victim! These cunts who must be tamed before they try to destroy all of the joys of manhood! Our cock of justice will make these cunts wet with the moist tears of regret from what they've done!

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 * Stocking: I just creamed so fucking hard.

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 * Panty: Shatter your loathsome impurity! Return from whence you came!
 * Stocking: Repent, motherfucker!

If the Angels Wore Swimsuits/Ghost: The Phantom of Daten City [1.09]

 * Kneesocks: It's one of our most vital rules!
 * Panty: FUCK the shit out of all of that!

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 * Scanty: Final point! You ready?
 * Kneesocks: Go! Fly, Sister!
 * Scanty: Well this has been rather diverting but it's time to wrap things up, what do you say?
 * Panty: Stockin'!
 * Stocking: Got it!
 * Panty: Perfect shot! Game over! You're about to get hardcore served! Repent, bitches!

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 * Men: Shit! Stupid fucking starfish! Fuck! Stupid sea urchins!

Inner Brief/Chuck to the Future [1.10]

 * Panty and Stocking: May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came. Repent, motherfucker!

Once Upon a Time In Garterbelt/Nothing to Room [1.11]

 * Garterbelt: Are you fucking me right now!? You lyin' sacks of Angel shit! You're supposed to be emissaries of God, not selfish, chicken-headed hoes!
 * Panty: Motherfucker needs to motherfuckin' chillax before he has a motherfuckin' stroke!
 * Stocking: Which would rock, 'cause then he could only use half his face to yell at us.
 * Garterbelt: Shut the fuck up! You need to worry about your shitty-ass situation, not me! Focus, bitches! While you've been cock-jumpin' and embracing your inevitable diabetic coma, shit's been going down with the Ghosts in this town! People's freakin' the fuck out! Now, does "Hell on Earth" mean anything to you hookers? You need to stop acting like a couple o' Babylonian hoes and remember why the fuck you're here to begin with!

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 * Stocking: This is taking for-fucking-ever, what time is it?
 * Panty: You've got a watch, right? [Stocking looks at her watch]
 * Stocking: What the shit-hell?! We've been waiting for five goddamn hours!
 * Panty: I bet that fuckin' afro-taint-licker is trying to starve us to death. (To Garterbelt) Dude! Garter! Why don't you hurry the fuck up, for Christ's sake!?
 * Stocking: If we die out here, we're gonna kill you!
 * Garterbelt: Patience is a virtue! Shut the fuck up, bitches!
 * Panty: Hmph! God, this is such bullshit, I guess we're just supposed to just sit here and wait around 'til dinner for that slow-ass dickwad to get around to making us lunch!
 * Stocking: He spent all of yesterday in the kitchen too, and what did he have installed when we were at the club? A fucking door! [the words "fucking door" appear as she yelled the last two words] It's so not fengshui.

Bitch Girls/Bitch Girls: 2 Bitch [1.13]

 * Panty: You're right, I'm just a little bitch and I'm proud of it. But guess what, douchebag? That's not the point. News flash, I don't need special fucking powers to beat the shit out of you. You know why? Because I'm a bitch who doesn't give a fuck. You and your half-dead face can preach about hymens and demons and other weird words that supposedly mean shit, but that doesn't change the fact that if any of you fuckers get in my way, I'm gonna kick some twisted-ass ass. You hear me, dick? I'm a hot bitch angel named Panty. And no matter what anyone says, I DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT!

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 * Panty: Sorry for the wait! I hope you guys are ready for a fuckin' party, now!
 * Stocking: So, in the immortal words, of Panty and Stocking Anarchy.
 * Panty: Say it with me.
 * Panty and Stocking: Repent, motherfuckers!

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 * Corset: Hahahaha! She's been cut into six hundred and sixty six pieces! That's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard!
 * Brief: Stocking, why?
 * Stocking: I'm sorry, but, surprise, I'm actually a demon.

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 * Panty: O pitiful shadows and evil spirits born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth!
 * Stocking: May the thunderous power from our garments. Strike down up on you with great vengeance and furious anger!
 * Panty and Stocking: May that power shatter your loathsome impurities and return you from whence you came!
 * Corset: No, you can't! Stop! If you shoot, you'll ruin everything!
 * Panty: What? Hey, Meth Face, at what point have we ever done what you said! In other words, toss my salad, dipshit!
 * Stocking: Yeah, we're sorry. But we're not into your public masturbation games; we keep that crap at home where it belongs!
 * Corset: Don't do this! You can't! Who are you people?
 * Panty: Angels. Obviously. Hey, Stockin'?
 * Stocking: Panty!
 * Panty and Stocking: Let's do this! Oh, Corset? Repent, motherfucker!