Pee-wee's Big Adventure

Pee-wee's Big Adventure is a 1985 film directed by Tim Burton and written by Paul Reubens, Phil Hartman, and Michael Varhol. The Story Of A Rebel And His Bike. Tagline

Pee-wee Herman

 * [falls off bike after attempting tricks] I meant to do that.
 * Go ahead and scream your head off! We're MILES from where anyone can hear you!

Dialogue

 * Francis: Good morning, Pee-wee.
 * Pee-Wee: Hello, Francis.
 * Francis: Today's my birthday and my father says I can have anything I want.
 * Pee-wee: Good for you and your father.
 * Francis: So guess what I want.
 * Pee-wee: A new brain.
 * Francis: No! Your bike. [Pee-wee laughs on the ground] What's so funny, Pee-wee?
 * Pee-wee: [gets back on his feet] It's not for sale, Francis!
 * Francis: My father says everything's negotiable, Pee-wee.
 * Pee-wee: I wouldn't sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for 100 billion-million-TRILLION dollars!
 * Francis: Then you're crazy!
 * Pee-wee: I know you are, but what am I?
 * Francis: You're a nerd!
 * Pee-wee: I know you are, but what am I?
 * Francis: You're an idiot!
 * Pee-wee: I know you are, but what am I?
 * Pee-wee and Francis: I know you are, but what am I?! I know you are, but what am I?! I know you are, but what am I?! I know you are, but what am I?! I know you are, but what am I?!
 * Pee-wee: Infinity!
 * Francis: No. I'm not.
 * Pee-wee and Francis: You are! No way! Knock it off! Cut it out!
 * Francis: Oh, shut up, Pee-wee!
 * Pee-wee: Why don't you make me?
 * Francis: Why don't you make me?
 * Pee-wee: Because I don't make monkeys. I just train 'em!
 * Francis: Oh, Pee-wee, listen to reason! [Pee-wee puts his hand beside his left ear] Come on!
 * Pee-wee: Shh! I'm listening to reason.
 * Francis: Pee-wee!
 * Pee-wee: That's my name, don't wear it out!
 * Francis: Remember the first time I saw your bike? You were riding past my house, and I came running out to tell you how much I liked it even way back then?
 * Pee-wee: I love that story. [takes his bike and leaves]
 * Francis: [angrily points his finger at his rival] You'll be sorry, Pee-wee Herman!


 * Dottie: I wanna know if you'll go someplace, with me.
 * Pee-wee: Like where?
 * Dottie: The drive-in.
 * Pee-wee: Look, Dottie, I like you. Like! I like you!
 * Dottie: That's the thing. I like you, too.
 * Pee-wee: [shouts] Dottie! [calm voice] There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.
 * Dottie: I don't understand.
 * Pee-wee: You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.


 * Pee-wee: I wanna see Francis!
 * Butler: Francis is busy.
 * Pee-wee: Busy doin' what?
 * Butler: He's having his bath.
 * Pee-wee: Oh, really? Where are they hosin' him down?!


 * [Pee-wee confronts Francis in his large pool-like bath]
 * Pee-wee: Still wanna buy my bike, Francis?!
 * Francis: What would I do with that old relic? I can have any bike in the world!
 * Pee-wee: AHA! You don't want it anymore, because you already have it! Tell me where it is before I lose patience with you, Francis!


 * [Pee-wee begins his meeting]
 * Pee-wee: This box contains over 217 bits and pieces of information: Evidence. [extracts some evidence, starting with a photograph] Exhibit A: A photograph of the victims: My bike and me. Exhibit B: [exposes a second photograph] Another photograph. What's missing from this picture? It's just me...WITHOUT MY BIKE! [Amazing Larry is about to whisper to Mario] Is this something you can share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry?! [Larry reacts, then he extracts...] Exhibit C: The horn I was picking up at Chuck's Bike-O-Rama, when my bike was actually stolen. [honks his horn at full blast, and the crowd reacts to it; then he extracts a pen] Exhibit D: Jimmy, what is this?
 * Jimmy: [thinks] Uh...
 * Pee-wee: Too late! Chip?
 * Chip: Uh, looks like a pen.
 * Pee-wee: Exactly! I bought this pen one hour before my bike was stolen. Why?! What's the significance?! I DON'T KNOW! [several hours later] Exhibit Q: A scale-model of the entire mall! [points to the scale model with the cue] X marks the scene of the crime. These arrows here show the exact position of the sun at the hour of the crime. Jupiter was aligned with Pluto! The moon was in the seventh...
 * Chuck: Pee-wee!
 * Pee-wee: Please save your questions until I'm THROUGH, Chuck!
 * Chuck: Well, when will that be? A long time, we wait! We've been here for over three hours now, and I'm not sure if any of us can see what all this is supposed to mean.
 * Pee-wee: Supposed to mean? Supposed to MEAN?! [snaps the cue in half] I think everyone here knows what this is supposed to mean. When you've gone over something again and again and again and again, like I have. Certain questions get answered. Others spring up! The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting!
 * [most of the guests leave]
 * Dottie: Pee-wee, let's go up and get some fresh air, alright?
 * Pee-wee: What for?
 * Dottie: Because it's hot in here.
 * Pee-wee: Hot? Who's hot? Feels just fine to me. I feel just PERFECT! In fact, I can't remember when I felt quite so COZY down here!
 * Dottie: Pee-wee, I think I can get Chuck to give you a good break on one of the bikes in the shop.
 * Pee-wee: I don't want some other crappy bike!
 * Dottie: Well, Pee-wee, listen, if you want my help...
 * Pee-wee: I DON'T want your help! I don't need the police and I DON'T NEED YOU! I DON'T NEED ANYBODY!


 * Pee-wee: Thanks for stopping. [rides off] Some night, huh?
 * Large Marge: On this very night, ten years ago, on this same stretch of road, in the dense fog, just like this, I saw the worse accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building. And when they finally pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning, WRECK, it looked like...THIS! [makes a hideously deformed face, causing Pee-wee to scream] Yes, sir. That was the worst accident I ever seen.
 * Pee-Wee: You can drop me off here. [the truck stops before he gets off] Have a nice day! [chuckles]
 * Large Marge: Be sure and tell 'em, Large Marge sent ya! HA HA HA HA HA!


 * [Pee-wee enters a biker bar and tries to use the payphone but can't because of the noise]
 * Pee-wee: SHH!!!! [the bikers all stop and stare at Pee-wee] I'm trying to use the phone!!
 * [The bikers walk up to him; one of the bikers hangs up the phone]
 * Biker 1: Did anybody tell you that this is the private club of The Satan's Helpers?
 * Pee-wee: Nobody hipped me to that, dude.
 * Biker 1: It's off-limits!


 * Biker 2: I say we kill him!
 * Biker Gang: YEAH!
 * Biker 3: I say we hang him, then we kill him!
 * Biker Gang: YEAH!
 * Biker 4: I say we stomp him!
 * Biker Gang: YEAH!
 * Biker 4: Then we tattoo him!
 * Biker Gang: YEAH!
 * Biker 4: Then we hang him!
 * Biker Gang: YEAH!!
 * Biker 4: And then we kill him!
 * Biker Gang: YEAH!!!
 * Pee-wee: [tries to throw his voice without moving his lips] I say we let him go!
 * Biker Gang: NO!!!
 * Biker Mama: [whistles and grabs Pee-wee] I say ya let ME have him first!
 * [The Biker Gang breaks out in raucous laughter]
 * Pee-wee: Wait! Don't I get a last request?
 * Lead Biker: [turns to his gang, then to Pee-wee] Why not?


 * Kevin: Well, is everything straightened out?
 * Jerry: We are ready whenever you are.
 * Kevin: Doesn't it look like I'm ready? [loudly] I am ALWAYS ready! I have BEEN ready since first call! I AM READY! ROLL!
 * Jerry: Quiet, please! This is a take. Roll, please.
 * Cameraman: Speed!
 * Kevin: ACTION!
 * Jerry: Action!


 * [Last lines]
 * Pee-wee: Come on, Dottie. Let's go.
 * Dottie: Let's go? Don't you wanna see the rest of the movie?
 * Pee-wee: I don't have to see it, Dottie. I lived it.

Taglines

 * The story of a rebel and his bike.

Cast

 * Paul Reubens - Pee-wee Herman
 * Elizabeth Daily - Dottie
 * Mark Holton - Francis Buxton
 * Diane Salinger - Simone
 * Judd Omen - Mickey
 * Jason Hervey - Kevin Morton