Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain

 is an American animated television spin-off of Pinky and the Brain, which aired from 1998 to 1999 on Kids' WB.

Dialogue

 * Brain: Look at these tapes! "It's a Sugary-Wugary Day" by Laffie. "Life's a Rosy-Posie Bed of Honey" by Marie Fluis and Pork Chop. The titles alone are enough to make my teeth rot!
 * Pinky: I'll help you floss.
 * Brain: I'll help you hurt!


 * Brain: There's only one ride that interests me - the incredible thrill ride of taking over the world!
 * Pinky: Mmm, I think there's a height requirement for that ride.


 * Pinky: Wheee! Oh Brain, I love the teacup ride!
 * Brain: Pinky, get out of that woman's teacup!


 * Pinky: Isn't life wonderful, Brain? Just think, we started out as lab mice forced to spend the whole day working our way through frustrating mazes that went absolutely nowhere. Now we get to do what humans do! [camera zooms out to reveal the line they're standing in is frustratingly long]


 * Brain: Hey, where's Elmyra?
 * Pinky: Oh no, she's lost! We might never see her again!
 * Brain: Stop trying to cheer me up, Pinky. She's got the tape.
 * Boy: Mooom! I wanna go back to the ride where the little atronomic girl is tearing up all the fuzzy animals!
 * Brain: Oh no! Elmyra's wandered into the plush toy store!


 * Brain: Yes, finally! The Happy Sappy Children of Many Lands ride! Where cheery music will spread the message that a mouse should rule the world!
 * Pinky: Oh no, Brain. Narf! You're thinking of that other park in Orlando.


 * Brain: All I have to do head past Norway, cross Finland, and get to the ride controls which are just behind Chad.
 * Pinky: Chad who?
 * Brain: Chad the country.
 * Pinky: What a lovely name! Do you think it would suit me?
 * Brain: Personally, I think "Dolt" would be more appropriate.


 * Brain: Pinky, after I switch the tapes, I'll met you near Chad.
 * Pinky: I'd like to meet Chad!
 * Brain: Chad is not a person!


 * Pinky: That ride's even better now that Baloney's singing.
 * Elmyra: You know, I heard Baloney singing, but I didn't see him anywhere.
 * Pinky: Maybe he's talking to Chad.


 * Brain: Come, Pinky. We must leave this horrid place and prepare for tomorrow.
 * Pinky: Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow? ...I know! Tomorrow we'll get the right tape and come back to Duckyland!
 * Brain: Oh no. Even the world isn't worth that. Nothing is going to get me to come back to this... to this Hieronymus Bosch-inspired nightmare world!


 * Brain: Oh, look, it's time for a visit with Mr. Loyal Subject. [puts on puppet and has it say:] Hello, Your Highness. Hail you! [as himself] Hello, Mr. Loyal Subject. What's the secret word for today? [as Mr. Loyal Subject] The secret word for today is "Brain"! [as himself] Golly, that's me! [as Mr. Loyal Subject] That's right; it's important that our viewers must learn to bow before the Brain! [lights flash and Brain addresses the puppet] Hey, you said the secret word! You win!
 * Pinky: Knock knock!
 * Brain: My goodness, someone's at the door. Who could it be?
 * Pinky: It's me, Pinky the Unstinky! Shut yer face! Shut yer face!
 * Brain: Hello, Pinky the Unstinky.
 * Pinky: Hello, Mr. Loyal Subject! Hello, Brain! [lights flash]
 * Brain: You said the secret word!
 * Pinky: I did? Um... what's the secret word, Brain? [lights flash]
 * Brain: You said the secret word again!
 * Pinky: Really? I've never won anything before. What do I win, Brain? [lights flash] Oh, this is so exciting!
 * Brain: OK, that's enough.
 * Pinky: Enough of what, Brain? [lights flash]
 * Brain: Stop saying the secret word!
 * Pinky: What's the secret word, Brain? [lights flash]
 * Brain: Errrrgh! Stop saying "Brain"! [lights flash]
 * Pinky: Ah! You won, Brain! [lights flash]
 * Brain: Stop it, stop it, stop it!
 * Pinky: Stop what, Brain? [lights flash]
 * Brain: Okay, that's it! The secret word is not "Brain"!
 * Pinky: WUHAHAHA!!!!! SHUT YER FACE! SHUT YER FACE, BRAIN!!! [continues to repeat "Brain", with the lights flashing each time, until Brain hits him on the head with his sceptre)
 * Brain: The new, NEW secret word is "pain".


 * Brain: Our ratings are in the toilet.
 * Pinky: Oh, I'll get them.


 * Zipp Twyman: I've never seen such high numbers! Your ratings have gone through the roof since you added Elmyra to the show!
 * Brain: How ironic.


 * Brain: And each year, in a misbegotten melange of civic pride and corporate boosterism, they [the Gristle Meat Company] throw a huge televised parade down the main street of town, the Meat Parade. And one lucky little girl is chosen to lead that parade on television before millions of people. Do you know who that lucky little girl is this year, Pinky?
 * Pinky: Someone named Meat? [laughs] Meat!
 * Brain: Meat my fist, Pinky.


 * Brain: [as Elmyra's cousin, "Patty Ann"] Why, uh, hello, cousin Elmyra! I've missed you so.
 * Elmyra: Don't you be all smarty-clown-nosey with me! You just came here to make time with my man!
 * Brain: I wouldn't give two hoots for that walking cyst you call a "man".


 * [Elmyra is hosting a pretend talk show.]
 * Brain: That song was the most banal self-serving ditty I've ever heard. Elmyra might have a future in show business.
 * Pinky: Um, Brain, speaking of show-biz, I am a guest today on Elmyra's Funtime Show. I'll be promoting my latest movie, The Great Pinky Adventure!
 * Brain: An interesting title. Too bad Dumb and Dumber was already taken.


 * Elmyra: And didn't you just make a fun movie-woovie?
 * Pinky: Why, yes I did! It's called The Great Pinky Adventure, starring me! Perhaps you could run a clip and I'll explain what all about it.
 * Elmyra: (pantomiming with a paper drawing) "Look out! I'm falling from a plane! What will happen to me?" "My name is Pinky Bignose. (crumples up the paper) This is scary! Narf! Zort!"
 * Pinky: Um, excuse me, Elmyra, but that's not at all what The Great Pinky Adventure is about. And since it is my movie, I should make the sounds for it, y'see?
 * Elmyra: It's MY show, Pinkly-winkly! [raspberry]
 * Pinky: Yes, but it's my movie.
 * Elmyra: Elmyra's Funtime Show is MY show, and I get to be in charge all the time!
 * Pinky: Well! I shall tell all my celebrity friends not to be on your program, and to go to a nice party instead!

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 * Brain: Pinky? What are you doing? You're supposed to be with Elmyra!
 * Pinky: In all my years in the movie business, I have never been treated so shabbily! I tell you, Brain, that show has gone to Elmyra's head! Give someone a little power, and they turn on you like a rogue duck! Zort!
 * Brain: A rogue duck? Pinky, Elmyra has a pretend show. It's all inside her drum-like head.
 * Pinky: Honestly, Brain, if you're going to make excuses for her unprofessional behavior, [stammers] ...I just don't care to listen!

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 * Pinky: Brain, do you think we learned an important lesson about relations and being popular and peer pressure?
 * Brain: No, I don't think we did.
 * Pinky: Whew! That's a relief.

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 * Rudy: Oh, it's you. Hey, wanna go push that Humpty Dumpty guy off his wall?

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 * Mrs. Antebbe: Well, party crashers! That does it. Everybody, it's time to go wee-wee-wee all the way home.
 * Pinky: Narf! That sounds unsanitary, Cranky Mouseykin.

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 * Brain: Any questions?
 * Pinky: Just one. If Fred Flintstone knew the giant order of ribs was going to tip over his car, why did he order them every week?
 * [Later]
 * Brain: It was an end title.
 * Pinky: What?
 * Brain: Fred Flintstone doesn't order ribs every week. That was only animated once, then music and voice tracks were added. The footage is run at the end of the show in the same spot everytime. It's called an end title.

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 * Brain: Any questions?
 * Pinky: Just one. How come Elton John gets older and older but his hair gets younger and younger?
 * [Later]
 * Brain: It might be a weave.
 * Pinky: What?
 * Brain: Elton John's Hair, I think it might be a weave.

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 * Brain: Any questions?
 * Pinky: Just one, Brain. How do they get the snow to fall when you shake up those little souvenir globes?
 * [Later]
 * Brain: Particles of a white material with a slight negative buoyance relative to to the water in which they are suspended.
 * Pinky: How's that?
 * Brain: Those souvenir globes, thats how they get the snow to fall in them.

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 * Brain: Any questions?
 * Pinky: Just one. On Sabrina the Teenage Witch, her pet cat looks so real, how do they make it talk?
 * [Later]
 * Brain: It's a puppet.
 * Pinky: What?
 * Brain: The cat on Sabrina the Teenage Witch; it's a puppet. That's how they make it talk.

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 * Brain: Any questions?
 * Pinky: Just one, do you have to wear a Fez at a turkish bath?
 * [Later]
 * Brain: You don't have to wear a Fez at a turkish bath.
 * Pinky: How's that?
 * Brain: A turkish bath is nothing more than a personal hygiene method using steam. Steam is released into a small room inducing perspiration that cleans the pores, it has nothing to do with hats.

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 * Brain: Any questions?
 * Pinky: Yes, do you know the way to San Jose?
 * [Later]
 * Brain: Make a right at Oxnard.
 * Pinky: Come again?
 * Brain: It's the way to San Jose. You get to Oxnard and make a right.

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 * Rudy: What are you making? Some kind of cheese ray?

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 * Elmyra: Romeo Rudy, oh so cutie, your Juliet is here, baby!

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 * Brain: Ah, our first caller! Hello, you're on Brain's World.
 * Pinky: Hi. This is famous TV star, eh... Byron Allen! I watch you all the time.
 * Brain: You have any questions?
 * Pinky: Just one. Who's Byron Allen?
 * [Later]
 * Brain: He was on Real People.
 * Pinky: Huh?
 * Brain: Byron Allen. He was the co-host of Real People, a pioneering infotainment show of the early 80s.
 * Pinky: Ohhh, that explains it then.

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 * Brain: [regarding Rudy's room] What a landfill! There are probably germs in here the size of a nickel.

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 * Pinky: Egad! That cat hates us meeces to pieces! Doesn't he, Mr. Pixie?
 * Brain: Stop calling me Mr. Pixie! This isn't funny, it's sick!

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 * Brain: And do you know why [everyone in Fairyland has problems]?
 * Pinky: Um... is it because you're telling this story and you have a very pessimistic view of life?