Postman Pat: The Movie

Postman Pat: The Movie is a 2014 3D computer animated children's comedy film based on the television series Postman Pat by John Cunliffe and Ivor Wood.
 * Directed by Mike Disa. Written by Nicole Dubuc. Story by Annika Bluhm and Kim Fuller.

He's about to deliver the goods! (taglines)

Postman Pat

 * [first lines] Oh, thanks, Jess. It wouldn't do to forget my hat on such a lovely morning.
 * Oh, Alf. Not again.
 * [to the PATBOT 3000] Well then, good luck. And remember, the most important thing for a postman is... [PATBOT 3000: Speed, Efficiency, Ruling the world.] Well. I was going to say being friendly. You know the human touch.
 * Oh Muffins.
 * I don't feel like a very happy man.

Edwin Carbunkle

 * [first lines] Lots of wasted time, space and energy here, Ben. Not sure even my machines can save this place.
 * You are...Postman Clifton.
 * Wool gathering. (laughs) That was rather good.
 * My uncle was eaten by Dingos, Mr. Brown.
 * [While showing Mr. Brown an image of the UDM 3000] This programmable postman is 10x faster than a human. The perfect worker.
 * [After the meeting with Mr. Brown] SDS will use my robots, Mr. Brown. And once they've replaced your postmen, I'll replace you. [laughs evilly]
 * [Breaking the fourth wall] A robot would never embarrass the company like this.
 * [After watching Pat's performance on TV] Yes. Yes, they do.
 * [Introducing the PATBOT 3000 to Pat] The PATBOT 3000. This mechanical marvel will be taking over your postal duties. Temporarily, of course.
 * [To Stagehand Robin] Lose the cat.
 * [To Mrs. Goggins] Madam, this is private property and you are trespassing. Shall I ring someone to show you out?
 * [After firing all of SDS' human employees] [chuckles evilly] Robots, report for duty. We're taking over this operation. At last, no more inefficient humans cluttering up my mailroom. Now that everyone loves Postman Pat, they'll turn a blind eye as I replace every deliveryman in the Special Delivery Service with my glorious money-making machines! [laughs] Profits will skyrocket! The board of directors will retire that weak-kneed Brown AND PROMOTE ME TO CEO! And I won't stop there. We'll diversify into other businesses. We'll make automated Bank Tellers, Robotic technical support, even COMPUTER ANIMATED MOVIES! [laughing evilly] FLY, MY PRETTIES! FLY! FLY! Today England, TOMORROW, THE WORLD! [laughs evilly]
 * [To Pat] Oh, no. You're not ruining this now. I've finally got that fool of a CEO where I want him. If it were up to him, SDS would stay a quaint little delivery service dedicated to Customer Service and The Human Touch. Bleh! [Pat: But I-I thought that's what all this was for. To help keep SDS the way it's always been.] Your publicity was to make people love Postman Pat. [Shows Pat a video of Patbots marching out of the SDS Sorting Office on his Phone] Now, I can replace all of SDS's human workers with Patbots! And when I become CEO, SDS will become the biggest, most Profitable company in the world!
 * [To Mr. Brown] Give me the SDS, Brown. The days of lovable friendly mailmen helping quaint country characters with their stupid little problems is over. The future belong to machines. AND TO ME!!! [laughing maniacally]
 * [last lines] You can't do this to me. I'm the future! I'll just move to America, I'm not even a bad guy there, YOU'LL SEE! I'll be back!, I'll Be Back I'LL BE BACK!!! Nobody understands genius.

Ben Taylor

 * [first lines] Pat! Am I glad to see you.
 * [as the people of Greendale confront him about the PATBOT 3000's behavior] Look, I know he's been a bit off lately, but this is Pat we're talking about. He'd never let us down on purpose.
 * Pat's under a lot of pressure. I'm sure he'll be back to normal once this telly business blows over.
 * Pat, you're not going along with this are you?

Julian Clifton

 * [first lines] Sorry, Dad. I'm practicing the trick shot you taught me.
 * Are you sure, Dad? I'm getting pretty good.
 * Dad, I don't play for Pencaster yet.
 * [after hearing You're the One is coming to Greendale] Dad? Did you hear that? They're coming here!
 * Dad's muffed it. Hasn't he, Mum?
 * Jess? Oi, Jess!
 * [after seeing all the people of Greendale at the sorting office] It looks like everyone in town's here. I wonder what's going on Jess? [Jess meows 'I don't know']
 * [after the PATBOT 3000 has fired Ben Taylor] Dad, you can't do this. Ben is your best friend. You've always told the most important things in the world are friends and family. Didn't you mean it?

Jess

 * [repeated line] Meow.
 * Hmm?
 * Mmm-Hmm!
 * Mmm-Mmm!
 * We? Mmm.

Wilf

 * I'm gonna have to keep an eye on this Postman Pat.
 * You should have stuck to letters, Pat! You need to be willing to stop at nothing to make in showbiz! I learned that from Hannah Montana.
 * Jings, Crivens and help ma boab. He's a robot.
 * This is just too good to be true! Postman Pat's a cheat! Robots can't enter talent competitions!
 * STOP! STOP THE SHOW!!
 * Oh my allergies.

Josh

 * A talent agent with only one client?
 * Thought I sing a song.
 * I've had a few dancing lessons too.
 * Oh yeah, that was good. [Wilf hits his head] Ow! What'd you do that for? [Wilf: Don't clap for your enemy!] But he's good.
 * [while playing a video game with Jess] Pat, your cat's amazing. He's already beaten Wilf's high score. What's his name?
 * Mmm-hmm. Charm, love. Got it.
 * [after Wilf snatches his game console from him] Hey! I was playing that.
 * Oh yeah, it's great, Wilf. You deliver mail, have a cat and be nice to people. Every now and then you can rescue a sheep. It's the highest game around. Totally massive.
 * [after turning off the Patbots with Carbunkle's phone] Please. Easiest game ever.

Others

 * Michael Lam: Hi, Pat. Hi, Sara. Hey, Julian. [Amy: Hi, Michael.] [singing] Oh I am the very model of a modern major general of information vegetable...
 * Ajay Bains: Yo, yo, yo. Check it! MC Ajay has a sick beatle drop on y'all. Innit?
 * Reverend Peter Timms: To forgive is divine.
 * Ben Taylor: Mr. Carbunkle, Pat if our very best postman...
 * PC Arthur Selby: Alas, poor Yorick! What's all this then?
 * Ted Glenn: Oh, yes, folks have often said how much I look like Michael Bublé.
 * Major Forbes: No, it's Justin Bieber you wanted to be.

Dialogue

 * [Pat & Jess drive through Greendale while listening to Please Mr. Postman by The Saturdays]
 * Jess: Meow.
 * George Lancaster: Hello, Jess.
 * Miss Rebecca Hubbard: Good morning, Pat.
 * George Lancaster: Morning, Pat.
 * Pat: Morning, George.
 * Dr. Sylvia Gibson: Hello, Pat.
 * Dorothy Thompson: Good morning, Pat.
 * [Ted Glenn & Amy Wrigglesworth are walking down the street. Jess pops his head out the post van's window]
 * Ted Glenn': [chattering]
 * Jess: Meow!
 * Ted Glenn: Hello, Pat.
 * Amy Wrigglesworth: Good morning, Pat.
 * Pat: Hello, Ted. Nice to see you, Amy. [stops his van] Good morning, Constable Selby.
 * PC Arthur Selby: Good morning, Pat. [lets Lauren Taylor and the children cross]
 * Lauren Taylor: Good morning, Pat.
 * Bill Thompson: Good morning, Pat.
 * Charlie Pringle: Hello, Mr. Clifton.
 * Lucy Selby: Morning, Jess.
 * Meera Bains: Morning, Pat.
 * Lizzy Taylor: Pat. Oh, Pat. I have something for you.
 * Pat: [exits his post van] Yes, Lizzy?
 * Jess: [peeks out of the post van window] Hmm?
 * Lizzy Taylor: I've a very special letter for you to deliver.
 * [Lizzy hands Pat a pink letter for Father Christmas]
 * Pat: It's a bit early for letters to Father Christmas isn't it?
 * Lizzy Taylor: [whispering] I want to avoid the rush.
 * Pat: Well this is a very special letter.
 * PC Arthur Selby: Hmmm.
 * Pat: I'll make sure it gets delivered.
 * Lizzy Taylor: I knew you would, Pat. [kisses Pat on the cheek as Lauren comes to collect her] Mwah.
 * Lauren Taylor: Thank you, Pat. Say hello to Sara for me.
 * [The children say goodbye to Pat]
 * Charlie Pringle: Goodbye, Mr. Clifton.
 * Bill Thompson: Goodbye, Pat.
 * Pat: Goodbye, Lizzy. Bye, Lauren. Have a good day, Constable.
 * PC Arthur Selby You too, Pat.
 * Jess: Meow.
 * [Pat then drives away]
 * PC Arthur Selby: Huh. Wish I was a postman.
 * [Pat and Jess arrive at the Greendale post office where Mrs. Goggins the postmistress is outside with some parcels]
 * Mrs. Goggins: Good morning, Pat.
 * Pat: Hello, Mrs. Goggins. Any local deliveries today?
 * Mrs. Goggins: [hands Pat 2 small parcels] Just these, Pat.
 * Pat: [takes the parcels] Thanks.
 * Mrs. Goggins: [hands Pat more parcels] And a few things to keep in mind today, Pat. Michael's repainting his shop. So you mustn't use the letterbox.
 * Pat: Got it.
 * Mrs Goggins: And Julia Pottage has a dreadful cold. So don't ring the bell.
 * Pat: Right. That's all then?
 * Mrs. Goggins: Have a good day
 * Pat: Thanks. Let's go, Jess.
 * [Jess, buried under the parcels meows annoyed. Pat then drives away as Mrs. Goggins wave bye to him]


 * [Cut to night, Pat & Jess return home after work]
 * Pat: Oh goodness, Jess, what a day. Do you think Sara will be very disappointed about canceling the trip?
 * Jess: Meow.
 * Pat: Well maybe she wasn't looking forward to Italy all that much.
 * [Sara opens the door with a book, chef's hat and fake mustache]
 * Sara Clifton: Bonegerno.
 * Jess: Meow! [hides under Pat's legs]
 * Pat: Uh... oh. Sara? Are we having a fancy dress party?
 * Sara Clifton: No silly, I just wanted to get us in the mood for our holiday. Come in or as they say in Italy; [speaks false Italian] Oh. Or maybe that's something about a hedgehog. Oh I'm so excited, Pat. Did you know Italian is one of the most romantic languages? [Pat & Jess look at each other nervously] I've been looking at hotels. They're a bit expensive.
 * Pat: Sara, I um...
 * Sara Clifton: But we've been looking forward to this trip for so long.
 * Pat: I-I have to tell you something.
 * Sara: Oh, me too, Pat. I think we should go to Venice first.
 * Pat: Right. Only one small thing, a man from head office..
 * Jess: Mmmm. Meow?
 * Pat: ...Came by today.
 * Jess: Meow!
 * Pat: Smoke?
 * Sara Oh! The Caprese Salad! [runs into the kitchen] Oh no. [clattering noises are head]
 * Pat: Need some help love?
 * Sara: Oh no! I'm all right. Thank you!
 * Pat: [to Julian] Does one actually cook a Caprese Salad?
 * Julian Clifton: She does.

Taglines

 * He's really taking off!
 * Me-ooowww!
 * Do the Pat-Bot!

Cast

 * Stephen Mangan as Pat Clifton/PATBOT 3000
 * Ronan Keating as Pat's singing voice/Ronan
 * Jim Broadbent as Mr. Brown
 * David Tennant as Wilf
 * Rupert Grint as Josh
 * Mike Disa as Jess the Cat/UDM 3000/Jessbot 3000
 * Peter Woodward as Edwin Carbunkle
 * Susan Duerden as Sara Clifton
 * Sandra Teles as Julian Clifton
 * Robin Atkin Downes as Simon Cowbell
 * TJ Ramini as Ben Taylor
 * Anastasia Griffin as Laura Taylor/Dr. Sylvia Gilbertson
 * Becky Wright as Lizzy Taylor
 * Brian George as Ajay Bains
 * TJ Ramini as Ajay's singing voice (Uncredited)
 * Parminder Nagra as Nisha Bains
 * Jo Wyatt as Meera Bains
 * Enn Reitel as PC Arthur Selby/Reverend Timms/Raed
 * Jane Carr as Mrs. Goggins/Granny
 * Dan Hildebrand as Ted Glenn
 * Darren Richardson as Alf Thompson
 * Olivia Poulet as Dorothy Thompson
 * Jacob Witkin as Major Forbes/George Lancaster
 * Jean Gilpin as Miss Hubbard/Crowd Lady
 * Aimee Osbourne as Amy Wrigglesworth
 * Greg Ellis as Jimmy (uncredited)
 * Charlie Woodward as Charlie Pringle
 * Kieron Elliott as Michael Lam
 * Steven Kynman as Bill Thompson
 * Teresa Gallagher as Lucy Selby
 * Chris Evans as Radio Announcer
 * Craig Ferguson as Craig/Not a Dalek
 * Laura Solo as Chat Host
 * Robert Anich as Escapologist
 * Lucy Davis and Julian Stone as Directors
 * Kieron Elliott, Darren Richardson and Kelly Beckett as SDS Employees
 * Kelly Beckett as Reporter
 * Tony Curran as Paparazzi
 * Adam Smyth as Cameraman
 * Julian Stone as Stagehand
 * Jean Gilpin, Enn Reitel and Dee Bradley Baker as Pat Wannabes