Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (film)

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a 2016 British-American comedy horror film based on the 2009 novel, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith that parodies the 1813 novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. The film is directed by Burr Steers, who wrote the adapted screenplay, and stars Lily James, Sam Riley, Jack Huston, Bella Heathcote, Douglas Booth, Matt Smith, Charles Dance and Lena Headey.

Elizabeth Bennet

 * I shall never relinquish my sword for a ring.
 * Your abilities as a warrior are beyond reproach, Mr. Darcy. If only you were as good a friend.
 * Mr. Darcy, you are as unfeeling as the undead.
 * (under her breath, as she stands outside) Mr. Darcy.
 * I don't care to be paraded like a herd of heifers at a farm auction.
 * (to Darcy when the bridge was blown up) From the very first moment I beheld you, my heart was irrevocably caught.
 * A woman is either highly trained or highly refined one cannot afford the luxury of both in such times.
 * My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.
 * (About Mr. Darcy) Never have I encountered a man so consumed by his own pride

Mr. Darcy

 * (in his letter to Elizabeth) Dear Miss Elizabeth Bennet, I'm not writing to renew the sentiments which were so disgusting to you, but to address the two offenses that you accuse me of. I did not intentionally wound your sister. It was a most unfortunate consequence of protecting my dearest friend. Mr. Bingley's feelings for Miss Bennet were beyond any I had ever witnessed in him, or indeed even thought him capable of. The evening of the dance at Netherfield, after overhearing your mother coldly state her intention of having all her daughters marry favorably, I persuaded Bingley of the unfitness of the match. If I have wounded Miss Bennet's feelings it was unknowingly done. As to your other accusation of having injured Mr. Wickham, no sooner had my father made clear his intention to leave Mr. Wickham a handsome sum than Mr. Darcy was mysteriously infected by the plague. It was left to me, his son, to provide a merciful ending. Still I gave Wickham the inheritance my father left. Wickham squandered it, whereupon he demanded more and more money until I eventually refused. Thereafter, he severed all ties with me. Last summer he began a relationship with my 15-year-old sister and convinced her to elope. Mr. Wickham's prime target was her inheritance of 30,000 pounds, but revenging himself on me was a strong additional inducement. Fortunately, I was able to persuade my sister of Mr. Wickham's ulterior motives before it was too late. I hope this helps explain and perhaps mitigate my behavior in your eyes. Of all weapons in the world, I now know love to be the most dangerous, for I have suffered a mortal wound. When did I fall so deeply under your spell, Miss Bennet? I cannot fix the hour or the spot or the look or the words which laid the foundation. I was in the middle before I knew I began. What a proud fool I was. I have faced the harsh truth: that I can never hope to win your love in this life. And so I sought solace in combat. I write to you from the siege of London. There is now a cunning design to the zombie attacks. I sense a dark hand is at work here, guiding the enemy, Miss Bennet. By taking London they've increased their ranks a hundredfold. Now we endeavor to keep them trapped within the great wall. This isn't the random act of some mindless horde. They struck the palace and both houses. They cut off our heads before we could cut off theirs. If we should fail to contain them and they breach Hingham Bridge, it'll be as if a great dam has broken and they'll reach out for us swiftly, and in overwhelming numbers. Dear Miss Bennet. I implore you to be ready.
 * (Having just been rejected, and nearly stabbed in the chest, by Elizabeth) I fully comprehend your feelings and now have only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Please forgive me, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.
 * A newly infected zombie is almost impossible to detect. Until they've ingested their first human brains, at which point the transformation accelerates with every subsequent kill.
 * A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing and the modern languages. She must be well trained in the fighting styles of the Kyoto masters and weapons and tactics of modern Europe.
 * (watching Elizabeth slay zombies) Her face is rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. And I'm forced to acknowledge her figure as both light and pleasing. That her arms are surprisingly muscular yet not so much as to be unfeminine.

Mr. Bennet

 * (to Parson Collins) My daughters are trained for battle, sir, not the kitchen.
 * Daughters do not dance well with masticated brains.
 * (in narration) It wasn't always like this my dear daughters. As the century began Britannia was rich with the fruits of worldwide trade. From the colonies there came not just silks and spices but a virulent and abominable plague. Naturally many suspected the French were to blame. Are you surprised? Once bitten, the newly infected were filled with an insatiable hunger for the brains of the living. Millions perished, only to rise again. As legions of undead. So certain it would seem the end of days had come. But even the four horsemen of the apocalypse are said to have ascended from hell. To protect the living, the Grand Barrier was built. A one hundred foot wall, encircling London. Then excavation began on the royal canal. A vast mote thirty fathoms deep surrounding both the city and its walls. The land twixt the two fortifications became known as The Inbetween. At this time it became fashionable to study the deadly arts of the orient. Japan for the wealthy. China for the wise. In the second battle of Kent, one of the bridges that cross the royal canal was breached. Ravenous zombie hordes massacred every villager of The Inbetween. It was said the sight of this slaughter drove young King George mad. When the battle was finally won, he ordered the destruction of all the bridges, save one. Hingham Bridge. Which to this day remains the only means by which to cross the royal canal. Many believed the enemy was finally vanquished. The gentry began to leave the safe confines of London's defenses for their newly fortified country estates. But vigilance is still every essence. Remember this. Keep your swords as sharp as your wit. For the ultimate battle between the living and the undead has yet to be staged.

Others

 * Jane Bennet: If Mr. Bingley truly loves me, nothing can keep us apart.


 * Parson Collins: (regarding the wrecked carriage) I was unaware that zombies possessed such acuity so as to set such traps. Before we know it, they'll be running for Parliament.


 * Lady Catherine de Bourgh: (holding her swords up) I do not know which I admire more, Elizabeth Bennet. Your skill as a warrior or your resolve as a woman.


 * George Wickham: (about zombies) You see if they never consume human brains they will never fully transform into zombies. St. Lazarus' is the key to finally ending the struggle between the living and the undead. We must force some kind of understanding with the most advanced among them.


 * George Wickham: The undead will always multiply faster than the living can procreate. Nine months to make a baby then 16 years to make a soldier and one raw second to make a zombie.


 * Charlotte Lucas: Zombies or no zombies all women must think of marriage.


 * Lydia: (to Elizabeth) You're the cow who's least proficient in the art of tempting the other sex.

Dialogue

 * Mr. Darcy: (to Bingley) Carelessness when dealing with a zombie infection can lead to your abrupt demise.
 *  Elizabeth Bennet: (suddenly by his side) Arrogance can lead to yours!
 * Darcy: (irate) Your defect, Miss Bennet, besides eavesdropping... is to willfully misunderstand people.
 * Elizabeth Bennet: And yours is to be unjustly prejudiced against them.


 * Mr. Bennet: Lizzy, an unhappy alternative is before you. Your mother will never speak to you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins. And I will never speak to you again if you do.
 * Mrs. Bennet: (suddenly outraged) Who will maintain you when your father is dead? No one, Elizabeth Bennet! You shall become a poor and pathetic spinster!
 * Elizabeth Bennet: (almost in tears) Anything! Anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without affection!


 * Mr. Darcy: Miss Bennet, although I know many consider you to be decidedly inferior. There's a matter of your birth, family and circumstances. My feelings will not be repressed. In vain, I struggled. I've come to feel for you a most ardent admiration and regard which has overcome my better judgment. (takes a knee) So now I ask you most fervently to end my turmoil and consent to be my wife.
 * Elizabeth Bennet: (slightly shocked) If I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you. But I cannot. I never desired your good opinion and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly.
 * Mr. Darcy: (getting to his feet) Might I be informed why, with so little endeavor at civility, I am rejected?
 * Elizabeth Bennet: You intentionally ruined the happiness of my most beloved sister. Do you deny it?
 * Mr. Darcy: I have no wish to deny it. I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister.
 * Elizabeth Bennet: (forcibly kicks him back) How could you?!?
 * Mr. Darcy: I believe her to be indifferent.
 * Elizabeth: (enraged as she throws books at him) Indifferent?!? She's shy!!! (stops and advances on him) Did you suggest to Mr. Bingley that his fortune had some bearing on the matter?!?
 * Mr. Darcy: I wouldn't do your sister the dishonor, though it was suggested.


 * Lady Catherine de Bourgh: (through the hole in the door) You have very small estate here.
 * Elizabeth Bennet: (as she open the door) And yet we endure it.
 * Lady Catherine de Bourgh: I have urgent business to attend to. A falsehood of the most scandalous nature has reached me. That you intend to unite with my own nephew Mr. Darcy. Is it true?
 * Elizabeth Bennet: I do not possess your frankness, your ladyship. You may ask questions I may not choose to answer.
 * Lady Catherine de Bourgh: Let me be rightly understood, Miss Bennet. Darcy has been promised since infancy to my daughter.
 * Elizabeth Bennet: You have no reason to suppose he made me an offer.


 * Jane Bennet: (holding a letter) Wickham's run off with Lydia. She's barely more than a child. I never could have imagined my own face so improper. To be such a blaggard. What do we do?
 * Elizabeth Bennet: (noticing the seal on the paper) These letters. I know where she is.


 * Mr. Darcy: Miss Bennet, what possible cause would the two of you have for leaving Hertfordshire and entering into the inbetween?
 * Elizabeth Bennet: If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village, she must seek them abroad... We had no choice. Wickham has run off with Lydia. He's taken her to where his zombie aristocrats congregate. St. Lazarus.


 * Elizabeth Bennet: Hingham Bridge is behind us. London's over there. Which direction are you looking in, Mr. Bingley? (realizing what's going on) St. Lazarus. Darcy lied.
 * Mr. Bingley: To spare you. He'd risk anything for you, Miss Bennet.


 * George Wickham: Your ladyship has perhaps heard some of the stricken have not succumbed to the urge to feed upon the living. And in so doing have maintained their human ways.
 * Lady Catherine de Bourgh: And they've managed to resist this most primal of zombie urges how? Their ironclad constitutions?


 * Elizabeth Bennet: I must know, Mr. Wickham. What is amiss between you and Mr. Darcy?
 * George Wickham: Are you much acquainted with him?
 * Elizabeth Bennet: More than I wish to be. He's been here for less than a month and already the least popular man in the county.
 * George Wickham: Yes. It always gives me great pain to see him. I've been connected to his family since infancy. My father managed the late Mr. Darcy's estate. Darcy and I grew up together. His father treated me like a second son. I cannot begin to do justice to his kindness. He bequeathed me with the best living in his gift. I had my heart set on joining the church. But when he was slain in the 2nd battle of Kent, Darcy ignored his wishes and gave my living to another man.
 * Elizabeth Bennet: What could've induced him to pay you so cruelly?
 * George Wickham: Pride. He thought me too low to be worth his consideration. I loved his father dearly so I can never expose Darcy or challenge him to a duel.