Private Benjamin

Private Benjamin is a 1980 film about a spoiled, wealthy woman who joins the US Army after her husband dies of a heart attack on their wedding night. She finds out that life in the Army is not the glamorous job she expected it to be.
 * ''Directed by Howard Zieff. Written by Nancy Meyers, Charles Shyer, and Harvey Miller.

The Army was no laughing matter. Until Judy Benjamin joined it!

Pvt. Judy Benjamin

 * What, the Army couldn't afford drapes? I mean, I'll be up at the crack of dawn here!
 * Has anyone ever died from basic?
 * [After being issued with an Army uniform] Excuse me, sir, is green the only color these come in?

Dialogue

 * [First day of recruit training. Sergeant Ross is doing roll call.]
 * Sgt. Ross: Benjamin? Where is Benjamin?
 * Pvt. Winters: She is still on the bus, asleep!
 * [Sgt. Ross finds a sleeping Judy on the bus]
 * Sgt. Ross: [softly] Benjamin. Oh, Benjamin, are you awake?
 * Pvt. Benjamin: [drowsily]Are we at the camp?
 * Sgt. Ross: Yes, you have arrived at the camp.
 * Pvt. Benjamin: That bus ride was harrowing! I'll sleep it off.
 * Sgt. Ross: [roaring] Off the bus! NOW!


 * Pvt. Benjamin: I think they sent me to the wrong place.
 * Capt. Lewis: Uh-huh.
 * Pvt. Benjamin: See, I did join the army, but I joined a different army. I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms.
 * Cpt. Lewis: I got news for you, Princess. THERE IS NO OTHER ARMY!


 * Pvt. Benjamin: To be truthful with you, I can't sleep in a room with 20 strangers.
 * Capt. Lewis: Oh dear.
 * Pvt. Benjamin: And I mean look at this place. The army couldn't afford drapes? I'll be up at the crack of dawn here!


 * Pvt. Benjamin: Have you seen the bathroom?
 * Capt. Lewis: Do you think that the latrine... do you think that it's unsanitary?
 * Pvt. Benjamin: It's disgusting! There are urinals in there!


 * Sgt. Ross: Everybody up! Everybody, Benjamin.
 * Judy: Oh God, you can't mean me. I worked the night shift. Go check out the bathroom, it's fabulous!


 * Cpt. Lewis: BENJAMIN! You are unfit to wear this uniform!
 * Pvt. Benjamin: No shit!


 * Pvt. Benjamin: What do you want from me? I didn't ask her to punish everybody! Do you think I like schlepping in the rain all day and all night?
 * Pvt. Winter: Just keep marching, Benjamin.
 * Pvt. Benjamin: My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y Judy and I'd like somebody to call me by my name! Oh, okay I took my life in my own hands, I made a mistake fine I'm sorry! I'll never do it again! I wanna wear my sandals... I wanna go out to lunch. I wanna be NORMAL again!


 * [Judy is escorted to a soldier's lounge where she is surprised to see her parents]
 * Pvt. Benjamin: Mom, Daddy?
 * Harriet Benjamin: Oh, sweetheart!
 * Teddy Benjamin: What happened, Judy? We did not hear from you since Yale's funeral. Then out of the blue we get a call from some man who tells us you joined the United States Army?!
 * Cpt. Lewis: Just sign these papers and you are as good as home. [to her parents] It is a pity we are losing her. She was such a delight to have in our company.
 * Teddy Benjamin: Well that is it. From now on we never let Judy out of our sight. We decide what to do.
 * Pvt. Benjamin: I am sorry, but I must go back and graduate. Mom, Daddy, I will see you then. Captain Lewis.
 * [Judy renders a sharp salute and returns to barracks, leaving all three people with an astonished expression]

Cast

 * Goldie Hawn - Pvt. Judy Benjamin
 * Eileen Brennan - Capt. Doreen Lewis
 * Armand Assante - Henri Alan Tremont
 * Robert Webber - Col. Clay Thornbush
 * Sam Wanamaker - Teddie Benjamin
 * Barbara Barrie - Harriet Benjamin
 * Mary Kay Place - Pvt./2LT. Mary Lou Glass
 * Harry Dean Stanton - 1Sgt. Jim Ballard
 * Albert Brooks - Yale Goodman
 * Alan Oppenheimer - Rabbi
 * Lee Wallace - Mr. Waxman
 * Hal Williams - Sgt. L.C. Ross
 * P. J. Soles - Pvt. Wanda Winter
 * Craig T. Nelson - Capt. William Woodbridge