Private Practice (TV series)

Private Practice is a spin-off of the popular television show Grey's Anatomy. Created by Shonda Rhimes, the series chronicles the life of Dr. Addison Montgomery as she leaves Seattle Grace Hospital for Los Angeles in order to join a private practice.

Which We Meet Addison, a Nice Girl From Somewhere Else [1.01]

 * Violet: Look, I know she has the largest chunk in this practice, but we agreed to equal votes. We are supposed to vote! Sam, you ought to do something!
 * Sam: What, me?
 * Violet: This divorce is killing us! You need to apologize.
 * Pete: Just say you were wrong for walking out, so we can get back to being a happy family.
 * Violet: Yeah!
 * Sam: I never... I-I didn't... I am not apologizing to her. She's the one.... Naomi hires Addison and then moves her in right next door to me. I saw her naked this morning.
 * Cooper: You saw her naked?
 * Pete: Did she look good naked?
 * Violet & Sam: Focus!


 * Naomi: You'll have Dell. He's studying to be a midwife.
 * Addison: The cute boy who answers the phone?


 * Cooper: [to Addison] Do you think there's something wrong with, uh, having sex with a woman who wants you to call her... mama?


 * Addison: I need you to say it.
 * Pete: You did not move down here because I kissed you. [Addison begins walking away] You so moved down here because I kissed you.
 * Addison: [to herself] I heard that!


 * [In the conference room]
 * Violet: We're a team. We're partners, Naomi.
 * Sam: You can't just bring somebody in.
 * Pete: Without asking us.
 * Cooper: Yeah.
 * Sam: We're a democracy. We vote.
 * Violet: We vote or it doesn't happen.
 * Naomi: You're right. We should've voted. I was wrong.
 * Violet: Good. Okay, let's vote.
 * Addison: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute. Uh, I have been working here less than 24 hours, and in that time I discovered that I not welcome here, I learned I am a one-man gynie show, and I performed crazy McGyver surgery, and... Sam saw my booty. So, this has not been a great day for me. This day kind of sucked. But you know what I had one patient... one patient the entire day, and I loved it. So you want me gone? Too bad. I'm in. I'm putting my foot down. My foot's down. It's down. I'm not going anywhere. So... yeah. I thought I... I thought I had a big finish but... I don't. So... I'm done. No, no. I do have a big finish. If I hadn't been here today, if you'd had someone else, that girl would've died delivering her baby. I saved her life. I saved your asses. I'm a world-class neonatal surgeon. And I'm here to stay. Welcome to the new Oceanside Wellness. [Addison leaves]
 * Naomi: That's why I didn't tell you she was coming.

In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor... [1.02]

 * Pete: Addison is mad at me because Cooper hired a stripper.
 * Violet: I'm ignoring the stripper. Today is a day for ignoring things. I am all business today.


 * Pete: God. I am a wreck. Long day.
 * Addison: I just sent a man to jail for trying to get rid of his own kid, but... your day sounds really hard.
 * Pete: I didn't know.
 * Addison: Oh, no. Of course not. You spent the entire day dealing with the perils of aromatherapy and uh... your stripper.
 * Pete: I know you don't believe me, but I like my women real. Real skin, real breasts, real lines around their eyes that mean that they've really lived and had pain. You show me that woman, and I'm interested... and not in a slippery way. [gets up to leave, but stops] And, Addison... I think it's great that you try to take care of Naomi, but who takes care of you?

In Which Addison Finds the Magic [1.03]

 * Addison: [soaking wet] It rains in Seattle which is where I left my umbrella! It does not rain in Los Angeles!
 * Dell: It rains in LA, it's raining right now.
 * Addison: Really? Right now!


 * [Talking about Pete with Naomi and Violet]
 * Addison: I don't even know if he's normal. One minute he's hot, the next minute he's arctic; I don't need that kind of damage, no matter how fancy his lips are; here he comes.


 * Addison: You know this is a very serious issue. This is a woman who has needs, who has wants, who needs and wants magic in her life. This is not a dirty little joke that you can make your dirty little jokes about, dirty man.
 * Pete: You don't know me at all. You think you do, but you don't, so don't call me names.

In Which Addison Has a Very Casual Get Together [1.04]

 * Addison: Why has nobody, including you, responded to my invitation tonight? I invited everyone from work to my home over a week ago, a week...
 * Sam: Addison, I live three feet away from your new home, If you have a party, I'm going to be there even if I don't want to be.
 * Addison: What a delightful acceptance.


 * Dell: Did I mention I'm a total whiz at the female anatomy? I-I-I'm acing my midwifery classes. I got it all up here.
 * Addison: Yeah, yeah, keep it up there.
 * Dell: [shouting in a room filled with patients] Vulva! Labium majus!
 * Sam: If that's flirting, you need new skills.


 * Cooper: Violet! Step away from the pee-pee!

In Which Addison Finds a Showerhead [1.05]

 * Pete: I barely notice your incredible breasts or your cellulite-free thighs because your brain is such an immense turn-on to a man as highly evolved as I am.


 * Violet: William Jefferson Clinton.
 * Addison: Huh?
 * Violet: It's 2010. Bill and Hillary have grown apart. It's nothing he did, just... it happens. We inexplicably run into each other at the Lincoln Memorial and it's very late night...
 * Addison: [groaning] Oh my god.
 * Violet: He recognizes something in me, something that makes him feel... whole. So we talk about the Camp David Summit, some chat about how we can't possibly, the Secret Service. Next thing you know I have a presidential library in Little Rock and there's a legendary picture of me and Bill laughing and sharing sections of The Times while our child plays under the dinner table, and... orgasm.
 * Naomi: You're really over Allen, aren't you?
 * Violet: Oh, I got Bill now. Bill's all I need.


 * Sam: I like to think that pain is what forces us to grow.

In Which Charlotte Goes Down the Rabbit Hole [1.06]

 * Addison [about Charlotte]: Fascinating. She's been here all night?
 * Pete: She snores...
 * Naomi: God, asleep, she looks almost harmless.
 * Addison: Hm, like a sleeping tiger.
 * Pete: Shh. Don't wake the tiger.


 * Naomi: You do a lot for the practice.
 * Dell: You are the practice. And you keep it running; the way you deal with the patients, the way you care. Your dream is what started it in the first place.
 * Naomi: And Sam's.
 * Dell: And Sam's. [moves in closer to Naomi] But I do it for you.

In Which Sam Gets Taken for a Ride [1.07]

 * Dell: [excited about monitoring a birth] I'm here to monitor your contractions.
 * Sara: Alright.
 * Dell: Uh, any questions or concerns, anything I could do to help?
 * Sara: Oh, no, nah. I've done three of these, I just say a little prayer, and go. You just sit there and catch the baby like it's a football, okay?


 * Addison: And you are a thinker. So, what do you think? About me and Pete. Come on, Nay, you're my friend.
 * Naomi: Okay. Fine. You said you want change, and you pick Pete. What, a cute doctor boy with nice eyes. That's not change, that's your MO. You're just... you're rushing into something new.
 * Addison: I'm not. I'm... making a decision to take a chance on something that feels right.
 * Naomi: Because you're afraid to be alone.
 * Addison: So what if I am?! Surprise, Naomi, I'm susceptible to the human condition. Look through our other men, I mean there are men in uniform I cannot be alone with right now. I did not pick Pete because I'm desperate and lonely. Pete is my choice


 * [Violet and Cooper are getting ready to have sex. Violet has just disrobed]
 * Cooper: [looks up from taking off his trousers] Oh, you're... wow, you're naked.
 * Violet: Yeah, it makes the sex easier.
 * Cooper: It's just, ah, I've never seen you naked. In the office, you always have your clothes on.
 * Violet: Well, yeah, I try to be a professional.
 * [Cooper stands there with his arms crossed in front of him]
 * Violet: [indicating to his underwear] Rip off the bandaid, Coop. I did.
 * Cooper: [after a long pause] Yeah... can't.
 * Violet: Y... you have to... you've already seen me naked.
 * Cooper: I know, and you're... beautiful. I'm sorry, I... thought I could but... [starts putting his clothes back on]
 * Violet: You can't reject me, you have low standards... you have no standards!
 * Cooper: It's different, Violet.
 * Violet: No, it's not different! I... I am offering you uncomplicated, unemotional sex.
 * Cooper: No! I... You're... you're not some random girl from the Internet, with you it doesn't mean nothing... it never will...

In Which Cooper Finds a Port in His Storm [1.08]

 * [Sam walks into the cafeteria. Pete and Cooper are there]
 * Sam: They're behind closed doors.
 * Cooper: Who?
 * Sam: The women... If they're gonna talk about us, we should talk about them.
 * Cooper: Yeah, let's talk, let's talk smack.


 * Addison: I was humiliated.
 * Violet: Were you completely naked? Did you stand in front of him like a peeled banana while he looked over your best parts? Because I have good parts and Cooper passed on them. I have good parts!
 * Addison: Damm right you do and so do I!
 * Violet: I like your breasts.
 * Addison: You have a good ass.
 * Violet: Thank you! I like it.
 * Naomi: Hey, hey, hey! The point is, we should not be having sex in the office.
 * Violet: Who's having sex in the office?
 * Naomi: No one. No one! That's the point! It gets complicated, you just... you don't know where you stand.


 * Naomi: God's trying to tell us something.
 * Sam: It's a coincidence.
 * Naomi: No, we have sex and then the day after our priest summons us. It's the fires of hell, Sam. We had sex!
 * Sam: Just don't mention we had a divorce, I don't need a lecture.
 * Naomi: Huh?
 * Sam: Play it cool.
 * Naomi: Yeah, that's cool.
 * Father Mark: Thank you so much for coming.
 * Naomi: We had sex and, and we're divorced.

In Which Dell Finds His Fight [1.09]

 * Sam: What about sleepwalking? You bumping into things?
 * Wendell: What am I, an idiot?
 * Nate: You are kind of a klutz.
 * Wendell: Watch it.
 * Nate: Or what? You're going to come over here and fall on me?

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 * Dell: What did you do to her?
 * Sam: Excuse me?
 * Dell: You heard me. What did you do?
 * Sam: I don't think that's any of your business.
 * Dell: No, it is, okay?
 * Sam: No, it's not! Dell, I know that you're upset about Wendell...
 * Dell: This is nothing to do with him! Okay? Every time she walks away from you, she's miserable. And I care about how she feels, okay? I care!
 * Sam: Dell...
 * Dell: No, I know what you think, but this isn't just a crush. Okay? Maybe after so many years you just don't see it. You know how many women think like that, and, and look like that and laugh like that and care? One. So far I've met one. And yeah she's, she's out of my league in every possible way, but I don't care. She... dazzles me, and I'm not stupid enough to hope that one day I'll meet someone like her when the time is right because I won't. I love her, okay? And I guarantee you, I wouldn't make her cry.
 * Sam: Okay, uh, Dell, I know that you're under a lot of stress right now, so I'm going to pretend you didn't just say those things about my wife.

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 * Cooper: Who kicked your dog?
 * Pete: I think I'm helping some other guy win over Addison.
 * Cooper: Good job.
 * Pete: It'd be weird to punch him out now, right?
 * Cooper: Yeah, a little bit.

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 * Charlotte: [to Cooper] Sex is best when you feel like you want to kill the other person.

A Family Thing [2.01]

 * Naomi: Your family, whatever that means, if you're single, if you're married, if you have kids, or if you want kids. Your family should be the most important thing, and your family is the most important thing... to us.

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 * Charlotte: I miss the good old days. When life and death was decided by God instead of doctors.
 * Violet: Well, we'd be out of jobs.

Equal & Opposite [2.02]

 * Lisa: [talking about her husband, Brian] He's all I have. Brian, he's all I've ever had. I was shy... before him. I was shy and... Brian sees me. He sees me and he knows me and he loves me. My whole life, I felt like there was this missing piece of me, like I didn't fit, and Brian... he's my missing piece, so before you say no to the surgery, consider... just consider what you're asking of me. You're asking me to make myself less whole, to lose a part of me. He's... my missing piece. My best friend is my missing piece.

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 * Pete: [explaining a procedure to Jodie, the temp] Actually, the treatment is preformed on the whole body, adapted for the skin sensitivity of each individual, so-
 * Violet: [scoffs] This place is bad enough without you trying to sell your magic beans to everyone. I mean, does she really look like she needs help? Does that body need... anything? I mean, does any body really need its fat pulverized into submission?
 * Pete: Violet, you know what you are? You are a... a a judger. You're a judgy judger who has no right to judge until she tries it for herself.

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 * Sam: I did what you asked because I had convinced myself that it was the right thing to do for Kirk. But the truth was, I was protecting the wrong person.
 * Charlie: This isn't about protecting me.
 * Sam: No, I meant protecting me. I was protecting myself from your threat. And that's not the kind of doctor I am. That's not the kind of doctor that I want to be. You asked me if it was somebody I loved, what I would do, and... it would kill me, Charlie, but I wouldn't want to force someone to live a way that they couldn't live with, because that would be for me and not for them.

Nothing to Talk About [2.03]

 * Pete: Do you think I'm old?
 * Addison: Tell me you did not sleep with that temp. [laughs] You... you slept with Jodie the temp.
 * Pete: Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
 * Addison: Yeah, well, at least you're getting out there. Me? Two dates seems to be my limit.
 * Pete: The cop?
 * Addison: He didn't call after our last date, so I called him, left him a message, a... horrifying, embarrassing message. Probably scared him off. Not that I care. You know, I'm glad to not be talking to him.
 * Pete: Well, at least he didn't tell you you were old. Although... she did say that I was great.

Past Tense [2.04]

 * [When Kevin visits Addison at the work]
 * Addison: Hey, to what do I owe this surprise?
 * Kevin: I've got this coming weekend off and I was thinking you, me, Cabo San Lucas, weekend away Pamia, very fancy, perfect clear blue waters. [shows Addison the tickets] We could get away... too much?
 * Addison: No... Yes... No... Yes... yes. No here's look here's the thing, we've been out a few times and um it's, it's been great I, I really like you...
 * Kevin: Is this where you break up with me?
 * Addison: No-- No, it's just um-- I have these rules, while they're stupid rules really but, in the past when I don't have rules it didn't go so well... my my my point is that now that I have my rules I don't wanna break them you know.
 * Kevin: Yeah... I have no idea what you're talking about. I wanna know but, um, rules?
 * Addison: Sex rules.
 * Kevin: Rules about sex?
 * Addison: You know a hotel means a room, a room means a bed, a bed means...
 * Kevin: You have sex rules.
 * Addison: I'm waiting.
 * Kevin: Until marriage?
 * Addison: No, no, no, no, I just um, until it feels right, until I'm sure.
 * Kevin: Okay, so we'll wait. I'm good with waiting. I'm happy with waiting.
 * Addison: Really?
 * Kevin: No, but I can wait.

Let It Go [2.05]

 * [Addison and Kevin lay naked together, eating noodles on the floor]
 * Addison: So if I lease the fourth floor, then Sam and Naomi hate me, but if I don't, the Practice may go under.
 * Kevin: So you lease it right?
 * Addison: You make it sound easy.
 * Kevin: I lead guys everyday, leader makes tough decisions, sometimes that means pissing of a friend for the good of the group.
 * Addison: I want people to stop being pissed off.
 * Kevin: Well, you need to decide who you want to be, a good friend, or a good leader?
 * Addison: You're smart, I don't like that.
 * Kevin: Yes, you do. [Addison smiles] You want me to eat noodles off your back?
 * Addison: Yes, please.

Serving Two Masters [2.06]

 * Violet: [to Charlotte] You're opening a practice here? What about Cooper?
 * Charlotte: This has nothing to do with him.
 * Violet: He's your boyfriend.
 * Charlotte: This is business and Cooper is personal.
 * Violet: It's not that simple.
 * Charlotte: Maybe not for you, but I am not a therapist. I don't have to talk about my feelings until everyone else's ears bleed.

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 * Addison: You're living a lie, Daniel. You're cheating on two women and cheating ruins lives.
 * Daniel: I'm not the one who ruined lives here today.

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 * Addison: Cooper, the Internet dater, is in a healthy relationship and my too-good-to-be-true boyfriend thinks I'm a psychotic bunny boiler.

Tempting Faith [2.07]

 * Naomi (to Addison): Where's the prodigal brother?
 * Addison: He's showing Kevin around, hopefully making nice. Apparently Archer didn't appreciate Kevin treating him like a criminal when they first met.
 * Naomi: You mean when he broke in like a criminal?
 * Addison: Exactly.

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 * Addison: A polite house guest would've called to say they weren't coming home.
 * Archer: Good thing I'm not polite.

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 * Naomi: Who knew that meaningless sex could be amazing?
 * Violet: You had meaningless sex? Congratulations.

Crime and Punishment [2.08]

 * Cooper: Regular normal people are driven to murder every day. Right, love, love will do it every time. Twisted, sick, messed-up love.
 * Sam: Cooper, Charlotte King is still alive, right?

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 * Meg: I don't know you very well, I certainly don't know you well enough to judge you for this. But you don't know Rene very well, yet you were quick to judge her.
 * Dell: [sighs] Well... was she raped?
 * Meg: Would it matter if she was? Would that make it okay? Does that make her more or less worthy? We don't get to know why. That is her business, that's her choice, Dell. That woman agonized over a difficult choice, made it and came in here. I guarantee you she was already worried about people out there judging her, only to have you make her feel ashamed. But we are medical professionals, it is part of our job to support her once she was made the hardest choice imaginable.

Know When to Fold [2.09]

 * Violet: I am sex-less. I am without sex. Which can be healthy. Celibacy in some cultures is seen as a sign of strength. So I am strong. I am a strong healthy woman.
 * Addison: Hm, I miss sex.
 * Naomi: What are you talking about? You've got a gorgeous man sleeping in your bed.
 * Addison: Yeah, that's all he is doing in my bed. Doctor's orders.
 * Naomi: You have sex on the horizon, which is better than having had amazing sex in your recent past with no visible sign of it happening ever again.

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 * [Charlotte has just taken the pregnancy test and is waiting for the results with Cooper]
 * Charlotte: Now, all we have to do is wait.
 * Cooper: Come on. Little Walter? [pretends to be holding a baby]
 * Charlotte: Are you trying to be funny?
 * Cooper: No, that was my grandfather. He was a piano tuner. Maybe he'll play an instrument, maybe the trumpet.
 * Charlotte: Please. It'll be a girl. Marjorie.
 * Cooper: Your grandmother?
 * Charlotte: My horse. Last animal I ever had. I was 15. She broke her ankle and had to shoot her.

Worlds Apart [2.10]

 * Sam: [to Naomi] You talk about this practice. The way it's supposed to run. The way we're supposed to treat our patients. You talk about not wanting to give up and then you're going to go downstairs to that place to work with that woman who is doing everything possible to undermine us. To work for that man who's more concerned about getting recognized for his work than which patient lives or dies. How is that not selling out?

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 * Violet: I slept with Pete! [she pauses] There, I told you.
 * Cooper: You know, I expected better from you.
 * Violet: I'm sorry. It just happened-
 * Cooper: You know what? If that's how you want to play it, fine.
 * Violet: What are you talking about?
 * Cooper: When you're ready to be mature and tell me who you really slept with I'll be around for you, Violet.
 * Violet: I'm not lying to you. I really slept with Pete.
 * Cooper: Okay. [steps out the door]
 * Violet: Where are you going?
 * Cooper: I don't want to be late for my date with Angelina Jolie.

Contamination [2.11]

 * Cooper: Are you still having sex with the same guy? The same guy, huh? Finally going to 'fess up and tell me who?
 * Violet: I told you whom it was, and you didn't believe me.
 * Cooper: Who it was. And you told me Pete, which is an obfuscation, lying really.
 * Violet: It's Pete, Cooper. I'm having sex with Pete. You need me to prove it to you?

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 * Pete: [to Addison] You want my advice?
 * Addison: Please.
 * Pete: Ignore all advice.

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 * Cooper: [to Charlotte] I have a mom who feels like she lost one son to autism and maybe losing another one to the measles and she's got another one sitting out here, exposed, and maybe I'm just not persuasive enough. But he's vulnerable. She's not going to let me do anything about it. So I'm really sorry if I piled on some paperwork for you, but I don't need crap from you, right now.

Homeward Bound [2.12]

 * Violet: I thought I was okay with it. But I'm not sure if I am okay with it. I'm sleeping with two men. Do I get a lecture now?
 * Cooper: Yes. Yes, you do. This is good. This is progress.

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 * Charlotte: Well, let's see. Duke and Landry are down on bourbon, Momma's taken to her room with the vapors and neither one of them wants any part of making a decision about Big Daddy.
 * Cooper: The vapors? You have a medical degree from John Hopkins. You've diagnosed your mother with the vapors?

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 * Violet: Okay, look, um, Pete, Sheldon, I'm um... I'm sleeping with both of you. I thought it was okay, but it's not. I realize that I, um, you... you can't do that. I can't do that, and, um, and I'm sorry.
 * Pete: Who are you? [leaves]
 * Violet: He's right. I'm a mess.
 * Sheldon: We're all a mess, don't you know that by now? All I know is, I don't mind finding out... who you are.

Nothing to Fear [2.13]

 * Charlotte: [to Cooper] I want to marry you, tomorrow. In Vegas.
 * Cooper: Tomorrow? My mother-
 * Charlotte: Families complicate things. Family's messy. Let's do this. Marry me, Cooper Freedman.

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 * Violet: I'm pregnant.
 * Cooper: You're pregnant?
 * Violet: And I don't know who the father is. Cooper, we are two of the most emotionally stunted people I've ever known. We've never made any progress in our personal life. We don't do personal growth and now, here you are, getting married and I'm pregnant and we're just growing all over the place.

Second Chances [2.14]

 * Archer: [to Addison] This is you. Not mad. Like the time I loaned your cashmere sweater to Crystal McCullen.
 * Addison: She puked on it. She puked up strawberry daiquiri all over my sweater.

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 * Cooper: [to Charlotte] I want you to talk to me. Do you not see that we are a perfect match and you're screwing it up?
 * Charlotte: I got embarrassed and humiliated. So don't tell me about screwing things up. You think it's easy for me to look you in the face after I sobbed in your lap like a 12 year old girl, asked you to marry me and got turned down?

Acceptance [2.15]

 * Archer: I'm signing myself out.
 * Naomi: What? Against all medical advice?
 * Archer: Against your medical advice. Which makes you my doctor, so you have doctor-patient confidentiality.
 * Naomi: What, wait, wait. You want me to lie to Addison?
 * Archer: Yes.

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 * Violet: Looks like you're good at your job.
 * Dell: Well, I'm not a doctor but, yes, I know a thing or two about pregnant women.
 * Violet: Stomach cramps?
 * Dell: Aren't about the baby.
 * Violet: What are you talking about? I've an alien being growing inside of me.

Ex-Life [2.16]

 * Derek: [to Addison] Archer's awake and complaining. Am I right? He ought to be happy he's on five of morphine.
 * Addison: He says that his vision is blurry and he would like you to run another CT.
 * Derek: No.
 * Addison: No?
 * Derek: Your brother's an ass. His vision's probably impaired because he can't see past his own ego.

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 * Derek: Next time I save your life, Archer, a simple thank you would suffice. If you were a neurosurgeon and not just a neurotic, you would know that it is common for a CSP to temporarily fill with fluid, post surgery. Repeat a CT in a month and this will be clear.
 * Naomi: What? You mean he's going to be fine?
 * Derek: No, he's going to be an ass, like he's always been.

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 * Charlotte: I get what you're doing for Violet.
 * Cooper: Please tell me you're not changing your mind.
 * Charlotte: I get that she's your best friend, but there comes a point in time when you can't have a woman be your best friend because there's a more important woman in your life. Or should be. But you and Violet, it's intimate. And she needs you. And, I think, at the end of the day, you need her. I'm outside of it. It's your thing. Your thing with Violet. And you want me to be a part of it, but I don't have it in me to make it work that way. I'm supposed to be your best friend, Cooper.

Wait and See [2.17]

 * Archer: [to Addison] I like women. I like a lot of women. But I am not married to Naomi and she is not the mother of my children.
 * Addison: Naomi sat by your side while you had surgery. She held your hand. You're upstairs sticking your tongue down her throat, seeing her every day, letting her believe that you two have something together.
 * Archer: Well, I thought I was dying.
 * Addison: You are... you are asking me to lie for you. You are making me feel dirty, and cheap, and I'm ten years old again. Telling Mother that I went out for ice cream with Daddy, when really I'm sitting in his office while he's screwing his secretary down the hall.

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 * Charlotte: I slept with Archer Montgomery. I just thought you should know.
 * Cooper: No! No! You don't get to just walk away from me after telling me that. How dare you? How dare you do this?
 * Charlotte: It's just the way I am.
 * Cooper: Well, that's crap! You did the one thing you could, to push me away, to make me make the choice and not you. Guess what, Charlotte? That's not gonna work. I'm not going anywhere. You want to sleep with some guy to hurt me? To make me back off? Too bad. I'm here. I'm storming the freaking castle for you and you so underestimated me. What, you thought I was so weak that I'm going to walk away because my pride got wounded? You're mine and I'm not walking away because you're scared.

Finishing [2.18]

 * Pete: We've made a decision.
 * Violet: Together?
 * Sheldon: Paternity test. Now.
 * Pete: One of us gets out of your hair, the other one... has a right to know.
 * Cooper: Look guys...
 * Pete: Know what, Cooper? You moved in, you pushed us out, you claimed your territory, but one thing is clear. This kid you're talking to, is not your kid, so, stay out of it.
 * Violet: Look, Pete...
 * Sheldon: The answer is right there for us to know.
 * Pete: We know that you don't want to face it, but we do.

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 * Addison: I wish someone would call another woman's name in bed with me. Hell, I'd even take not knowing who the father of my baby was. Either way, it would mean that I'd had a man on top of me in recent history.
 * Naomi: You are know what, that's really sad?
 * Addison: I know. The other day, I thought someone was trying to pick me up, and I felt my knees open just a little bit.
 * Dell: Um, hey... I... I don't want to spoil the fun, but I've got Betsy with me today, and 'say my name' 'who's my daddy' are a little loud. I don't want to explain what a paternity test is to my six-year-old.
 * Naomi: I'm not telling them to shut up.
 * Addison: Oh, no, no, me neither.

What Women Want [2.19]

 * Cooper: This bastion of men v men has been expropriated to be taken over by women.
 * Sam: You like women, Coop.
 * Cooper: Yeah, and you know what? I'm living with one with no sexual benefits, I'm sleeping with one who's way too complicated and the one place where there can just be men; there are women.

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 * Addison: [to Violet] Where's Katie?
 * Violet: She's still in the birthing suite. She needs some space. I'm afraid I'm not going to get through. She's in there staring at my belly. I represent everything she wants. She hates me for it.
 * Pete: She doesn't hate you. She just wants something she can't have and that's hard.

Do the Right Thing [2.20]

 * Sam: Having a conscience is brutal.

What You Do for Love [2.21]

 * Noah: I hate heart transplants. You're basically waiting for someone to die to save the person who you want to live. It's horrible. Just sitting, and waiting, and sitting...
 * Addison: And not be in control? You can only do so much.
 * Noah: And if, uh, you've got a baby, a baby who could die, you're just content to just chalk it all up to fate?
 * Addison: No, then it's on me.
 * Noah: Exactly. We are the ultimate narcissists. Life and death is all up to us.
 * Addison: No wonder so many doctors are insufferable.

Yours, Mine and Ours [2.22]

 * Pete: [to Violet] I'm not the kind of guy who fights. I just don't see the point to it. And the times I've tried it, you hurt your knuckles, you don't really feel better, it doesn't solve anything. And I guess I'm, at heart, just a pacifist, 'cause I think fighting is stupid, and I think war is wrong, and taking up arms for some cause just lacks nobility in today's world. So-
 * Violet: Pete, Pete-
 * Pete: I'm not the kinda guy who fights, but I should've fought for you! I should've fought for you, Violet. And I don't really know how else to say it except... I want your kid, whether it's mine or not. And I want your body, whether it's pregnant or not. And I want your heart, whether I have to fight for it or not. And I should've fought for it, but I was confused and angry and scared. So... I am fighting now... because I love you. And I think we can be something. I think we can be a family.

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 * Violet: A year ago, I was stalking a man who wanted nothing to do with me and now I'm turning two good men down. Do I hate myself? Is it me? It it? Am I the problem?
 * Cooper: Do you think you're the problem?
 * Violet: Oh, that's very therapeutic, making the patient answer her own question. And now I'm avoiding it.

A Death in the Family [3.01]

 * Police Officer: [to Pete] Sir, your relationship to... Violet?
 * Sheldon: He's her boyfriend. [to Pete] I was seeing a patient upstairs and I heard.
 * Pete: I'm sorry. I should've called.
 * Police Officer: And who are you?
 * Sheldon: I'm the baby's father.
 * Pete: Uh, well, kind of the baby's father.
 * Sheldon: Maybe the father. So is he.
 * Pete: We're both- We're the baby's father.
 * Sheldon: [to the cop] It's a long story. It's... Just wear a condom. Tell your friends. [chuckles]

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 * Cooper: I could've saved her.
 * Charlotte: You don't know that either.
 * Cooper: She could've had the baby yesterday, like she was supposed to. She doesn't do anything like she's supposed to.
 * Charlotte: Yeah, she's a real bitch that way. Just making a point.

The Way We Were [3.02]

 * Cooper: [to Addison and Sam] What is wrong with you two? What?
 * Addison: We made a pact.
 * Sam: Addison and I are ignoring our problems.
 * Addison: We are not going to talk or think about our problems anymore. Nothing even close to thinking or talking about our problems.
 * Sam: We're gonna be strong.
 * Addison: Strong.
 * Sam: In denial, but strong.
 * Addison: Strong.
 * Cooper: Well, that's, um, you know, stupid.

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 * Cooper: I haven't shaved and my shirt's a little wrinkled, but beneath the depressed hobo look, I am fine.

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 * Charlotte: Are you breast-feeding?
 * Violet: No, no I'm not. You know a lot of women don't breast-feed, I don't need to breast-feed. Like I should feel bad about it? I'm so sick of people trying to make me feel like I feel isn't what I should feel! If that makes any sense. No, no, Charlotte, I'm not breast-feeding, okay?
 * Charlotte: What you do with your boobs is your business. I only asked because you look like you need a martini, and if you're not breast-feeding, you can have a martini.

Right Here, Right Now [3.03]

 * Bailey: [about Violet] Wait, so she's the one you said had the baby and then...
 * Addison: Yeah.
 * Bailey: She's back at work? If that had happened to me, I'd be spending my time in a padded room. [looking at Pete] Oh, is that the father?
 * Addison: Yeah, well, one of them.
 * Bailey: There's another one?
 * Addison: It's complicated.
 * Bailey: [chuckles] This place is better than a telenovela.

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 * Sam: You are playing God!
 * Bailey: I'm a surgeon, it's how we pass the time.
 * Sam: Doctor Bailey, we both want to save your patient, but you can't expect me to back you on this. I'm putting my foot down. Okay, my, my, my foot is down.
 * Bailey: Your foot is down? Your foot is down. Oh no, you better pick that foot up and use it to walk away from me.

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 * Bailey: You know what, no, you're right. When I first got here, I was guilty about what happened, but I was acting as a doctor. A surgeon, 'cause that's my job, to cut through the bull and save the patient.
 * Sam: Please, don't pull the surgeon card. We're all doctors around here.
 * Bailey: It's personality thing. Okay, yeah, I've seen you long enough to see that you're good, but you hang back. You watch, you decide. I act. I don't stand outside a room watching my life pass me by, and I won't stand by and watch this patient die.

Pushing the Limits [3.04]

 * Addison: Don't you? Taking Elliot away from her?
 * Susanna: She's a child. I'm the mother.
 * Addison: Okay, I'm going to say something to you which I've never said, well to anyone before. And I apologize for how it sounds, but you're an ass.
 * Susanna: What?
 * Addison: Okay, you're a good person. And you're right, you are a mother, but Danielle is a mother now, too. I believe you want what's best for your daughter, but sometimes even when we mean well, we end up hurting people. I'm just saying, think about Danielle. Think about what Danielle thinks about you.

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 * Danielle: I'm doing the best I can for Elliot.
 * Cooper: No, I'm sorry, but no you are not. You have a child now. It's not about your mom and it's not about you anymore, it's about Elliot. And when you decided to have him, that meant putting everything else aside. Doing your best for Elliot means doing some hard stuff. It means growing up, it means asking for help, it means admitting to the people who love you you're drowning.

Strange Bedfellows [3.05]

 * Sam: I know facing her will be hard.
 * Violet: Being on the same planet with her is hard.
 * Sam: Alright, well, we could all chip in and get her one of those guest trips to the space station. One-way. We could probably get a discount if it's one-way, right?

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 * Katie: Dr. Turner, I'm... I am so sorry. Please tell me you know it wasn't me who did that to you, please tell me you know that.
 * Violet: Why?
 * Katie: So that I'll know you understand that I'm not a monster.
 * Violet: That's why you wanted to see me?
 * Katie: That, and I want you to testify. When Dr. Wilder was on the stand, the jury looked at me like I am a monster.
 * Violet: And you think my testimony will counteract that?
 * Katie: I think if you testify the jurors will know, they will know that I was crazy that night.
 * Violet: And you'll avoid prison.
 * Katie: I won't get help in prison. I'll slip, I'll be crazy again, I don't ever want to be crazy again. I'm scared. I'm scared of that... that person, that person who did that. It's... it's not about avoiding punishment, it's just... I need, I need help. I need someone on my side.
 * Violet: You, you, you, you, you gutted me like a pig. You ripped my baby out of my body. You left me there to bleed to death and now I should be on your side? I should care about how sorry you are? I should give a damn about what happens to you? You made my life hell! You made me crazy and now you want a free pass from me?!

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 * Naomi: Thank you for agreeing to see me. I know how angry you are and how much you blame me, rightfully so...
 * Zoe: I don't want your apologies. Dr. Montgomery said you had something that you needed to say to me, so why don't you just say it?
 * Naomi: Amelia came to see me...
 * Zoe: [to Addison] You told Amelia?
 * Addison: No, I told you I wouldn't.
 * Naomi: Amelia came to me. She knows you're hiding something. She knows that there's something wrong with the baby.
 * Zoe: So now you want to atone by talking me into something that I don't want to do?
 * Naomi: Zoe, listen, when all this happened, I did not want to talk you into keeping the baby. All I wanted was for you to see things from all sides. It was not about me. This was so you could feel as okay with what was going to happen as you possibly could given what we did to you, given what I did to you, what I did to you. I wasn't the one who changed your mind. It was Amelia, and it was you, knowing that it was the best thing given the circumstances.

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 * Charlotte: [to Cooper] I am too much woman for you. I have more money, I picked a specialty that makes you nervous, I bought your way into the practice. I'm strong and I am comfortable with being strong and I like that I'm strong. And if that is too much woman for you, if that makes your junk feel tiny, I'm not gonna make myself smaller, I'm not going to put myself in a box so that you feel like a big man. I am a big woman, and you either get used to it or you get out.

Slip Slidin' Away [3.06]

 * Naomi: We had a deal, William. Hiring was my responsibility and you went around me. You knew that I would object to his research, his attitude and ultimately his hiring.
 * William: I was aware that you might object to some of his research, yes. Okay, would object. But he became available, there were other people interested, I had to make a decision. Think of the potential, sickle cell, hemophilia, cystic fibrosis, his work has the ability to change the face of medicine as we know it, that's what you and I wanted.
 * Naomi: He has no moral center. He supports eugenics. He wants me to help him design a baby.
 * William: That's what you do, Naomi! When you weed out for disease. You're afraid of the slippery slope, but you're already on it.
 * Naomi: Maybe, but I am not skiing down it.
 * William: I'm not asking you to accept him, I'm telling you. Find a way to make it work.

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 * Naomi: Once we start down the road of choosing characteristics for our children, I don't... I don't know where that ends. It's not something that our practice does. I do want to work with you, I do, but, um...
 * Sally: [picks up a picture of Naomi's daughter] Your daughter?
 * Naomi: Uh, yeah.
 * Sally: [sits down next to Curtis] She's very pretty, she looks just like you.
 * Naomi: Thank you, you know I... I never really see the resemblance, but...
 * Sally: Of course you don't, you take it for granted having a child that looks like you. But what if someone told you you couldn't have your daughter? Your own daughter, who's like you in so many ways.
 * Naomi: Even if you don't select for dwarfism, your child will be a part of you.
 * Curtis: What do you see when you look at me? It's a hard question for a tall person to answer, because all you see is the dwarf.
 * Naomi: No, no I don't.
 * Sally: When I look at Curtis, I see an accountant. A husband. And those things are what our friends see. If we have a child who's five ft. ten, they'll look at him the other way people look at us.
 * Curtis: What if you had a 50/50 chance of having a white baby? Would you want a white baby?
 * Naomi: It's not the same thing.
 * Sally: It is. You'd love that white baby, but everyday people would question whether she was yours. They'd whisper, like they'll whisper about our tall child. Would you want that for your child?
 * Curtis: We're not asking you to clone us, we're just asking what any other parent would come in and ask for.
 * Sally: We want what you have, how is that crossing a line?

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 * Naomi: I was fat. As a kid, I... I was fat. I don't mean to suggest that it's comparable, but everyone has their own scars to bear. We all have our insecurities and they're painful and persistent and they're ours. I don't want to compare painful anecdotes with you, I'm just saying that in some small way I do understand.
 * Curtis: A small way?!
 * Naomi': Oh, you know what, it is really hard to avoid using words like 'big' and 'small' and 'short' and 'tall'. We try to say things nicely, but you know the fact of the matter is I wasn't just fat. Fat is the nice word for what I was. I was huge. I was massive. Six summers of fat camp, my whole adolescence being made fun of. I have heard every single joke, lardo and fat-ass, and Dumbo and elephant.
 * Curtis: In our group of friends, a tall child will be Lurch or giant or Godzilla.
 * Naomi: But if he's healthy, he'll survive it. I did. You did. But I cannot implant a sick embryo, no matter what Dr. Fife promises you about future breakthroughs, I cannot do it. But what I can do is help you to have a healthy baby, and whether's he tall or medium or small, when you hold him in your arms, he will be yours. And you'll love him. Is that all that really matters? That's what I can give you.

The Hard Part [3.07]

 * Charlotte: Which one of you has the erection? [all three men raise their hands] Priapism's not a joke fellas, if I don't get that mast down, this boat might never sail again.
 * Dan: Well, you want to walk my plank, captain?
 * Cooper: Hey!
 * Charlotte: What's your name.
 * Dan: Dan.
 * Charlotte: Well, Dan, let me tell you the procedure for reversing priapism. First, I take a long gauge needle and I push it down the head of the penis, then I slowly draw out blood, flush it with saline and repeat. Still the man, Dan? [Dan sits down]

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 * Sheldon: I know this might sound a little forward, but I saw you from over there and I think you are stunning. You have this unstoppable sex appeal, you're like the Niagara Falls of sexy. Wow, that was terrible.
 * Dawn: Horrific.

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 * Brendon: I thought I married the Virgin Mary, turns out I married Mary Magdalene.
 * Charlotte: I know your heart feels broken clean-through right now, but if you walk you might regret it.
 * Brendon: No, not after what she did.
 * Charlotte: [goes to leave, but stops] I'm not warm and... and feelings are so, um, I'm just going to tell you this thing, because here we do that. We tell you things and sometimes it helps ya. Oh, for the love... Anyway, here's the thing I want to tell ya. I was married, once. I married the first man I truly loved. Thought we had this whole fairy-tale thing going on. It was, he was amazing. We were amazing. And then he did something... something stupid and thoughtless and mean, the kind of something I was not willing to forgive. So, I left him, I left him behind and I went on and I live this whole other life now. And that's good, it's fine. I have a great guy, a doctor, my life is damn near perfect, but every once in a while, I think about that guy. That fairy-tale thing we had. I wonder if we'd still be amazing if we were together now. And I'll never know, because the minute it got hard, the minute it stopped being a fairy-tale, I cut and ran. Real life is hard, real life takes work, real life is thoughtless and mean, but that doesn't cancel out the love. So if you don't love this girl, walk away, but if you look at her and you know she's the one, you owe it to yourself to give her a second chance.

Sins of the Father [3.08]

 * Captain Montgomery: That's coarse. A lady never downs a drink in the company of a gentleman.
 * Addison: Well, you're not a gentleman. You're my father. So, what's her name?
 * Captain Montgomery: Who?
 * Addison: Your mistress, I'm assuming you have a mistress in LA, why else would you be here?
 * Captain Montgomery: Addy...
 * Addison: I mean, you didn't come when Archer was dying, that wasn't important enough for you. So, I'm thinking there must be a prime piece of ass here on the West Coast to get the Captain to fire up the old jet and come on out.
 * Captain Montgomery: Well, I see you have changed. The Addison I know didn't use that language.
 * Addison: Well, the Californian air has done me well. I'm a whole new girl.

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 * Addison: Are you really onboard with this?
 * Pete: I don't know. Neil wants to meet his daughter, Margaret wants to be able to tell that baby her father held her and loved her and that baby... she's going to want to know it. And I know all of the reasons that we shouldn't deliver the baby now, but I keep thinking about when Violet was attacked and how I didn't know if I'd ever meet Lucas. I didn't know if I'd ever meet my son. And I know that I would've done anything to meet him.

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 * Dell: It's one thing coming after me, okay? I can tell you to back off, but going to my wife is inexcusable.
 * Violet: I, I came to see you...
 * Dell: Well, you should've walked away.
 * Violet: I am so sorry if I upset her...
 * Dell: You upset me! Maybe, maybe I hid. Maybe I should've let all of you know when when we started seeing each other, bur I didn't because I was trying to figure out how I was feeling by myself.
 * Violet: I get that...
 * Dell: And everyone gave you space when you were trying to figure out what you wanted. Besides Pete, no one got in your business about, about the choices you've been making about Lucas, choices by the way which we don't all support. You giving up your child but, but we love you and we respect you and we know that this has been tough and we're just trying to be supportive. So if you don't like what I did, it's fine, okay' but respect it!

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 * Captain Montgomery: I want more best times, just you and me.
 * Addison: You're not my family. I have a family, they come to work with me every day and we care about each other. We take care of each other and when we lie for each other, it's for a reason, it's for good, it's for lives saved. They're my family not you. I'm sorry, but, not you.

The Parent Trap [3.09]

 * Violet: [in bed with Captain Montgomery] I should do this more often.
 * Captain Montgomery: Anytime. [he kisses her]
 * Violet: Sorry, sorry, I can't, I can't.
 * Captain Montgomery: You don't need to say anything.
 * Violet: It's just been a long time since I've felt this way. You know, I've been stuck in my head for so long, the idea that I have a body, that I could be touched... Do you mind my scar?
 * Captain Montgomery: Not at all.
 * Violet: I can't look at it.
 * Captain Montgomery: Then don't. It'll fade. And in the meantime, let it be a reminder that you went through something no else quite understands and survived. And that you... you're in the right to do exactly what you want for a while, whether it's this or anything else.

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 * Sam: [about their daughter] She's 15 years old, she's becoming her own person. We got to give her room.
 * Naomi: Room to what? Roll around on the couch with some boy named Dink.
 * Sam: Well maybe we should meet him, you know? See what kind of a guy he is.
 * Naomi: He's the kind of guy who had his hands all over your daughter's...
 * Sam: Hey, hey, hey.
 * Naomi: Do you remember what you were like when you were his age? [pause] Oh, yeah, well, you're not a good example. But this Dink person, he looks like a scruffy little hormone.
 * Sam: Okay, I will talk to her about him.
 * Naomi: Talking's good, but yelling's fine too.

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 * Addison: I have a question for you. When you slept with my father, when you helped him cheat on my mother, uh, what did you say to him to make him behave actually like a human being?
 * Violet: Addison, he is a human being.
 * Addison: Are you that gullible? Lonely? Is that it, what was it?
 * Violet: It wasn't like that.
 * Addison: So, then what was it like? Tell me, because with all the faceless nameless women he's rolled around with, you're the first one I can actually ask.
 * Violet: Okay, um, if if you really want to know, it was, um, it was wonderful. No, I'm sorry if that hurts you or if it doesn't jibe with how you see him, but he was kind and caring, he was a real gentleman. He helped me, he was the first person in a long time that made me feel normal. And maybe I was wrong for doing it, maybe we both were, but he's not a bad person. And I didn't mean to hurt you, Addison.
 * Addison: Well you did it anyway.

Blowups [3.10]

 * Addison: Oh, come on, Bizzy! How hard could it have been? I mean, nothing was expected of you, all you had to do was order the housekeeper around, run your charities and screw your husband every Wednesday night. How complicated is that?
 * Bizzy: You have no idea. You don't know me. You don't know me, you don't know anything, you don't know one single thing about me. I could have done things, I could have... been things. But I'm a Forbes, so I got married because that is what I was supposed to do, and I chose your father because he asked. And he was nice and he seemed like he wouldn't suffocate me. And by the time I realized my mistake I had children. So, I made a life. I did what I could with what I had. And I may not have been in love with your father, but I loved him. I do love him, and I love you and your brother. And so instead of doing what I wanted to, which was run, or slit my wrists, I threw birthday parties and I smiled and I kept my mouth shut, and I raised you and your brother and you both turned out brilliantly. Susan was for me, Susan was the one thing that was for me, my children took everything else. And I'm sorry, but until you have a child, you have no idea what it's like to be a mother. You have no idea the sacrifices a woman makes when she has children, so don't you dare judge me.

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 * Addison: Just give me one good reason why my entire childhood was a lie. One good reason.
 * Captain Montgomery: We were trying to protect you and Archer.
 * Addison: Really? Because I'm a cheater, Archer's a cheater, we're all these awesome cheaters, so you know that's a bunch of crap, protecting us. I want a good reason!
 * Captain Montgomery: She's the love of my life. [Addison sighs] We've been married for 40 years, 40 years, my entire adult life she has been at my side. I love her. She's my best friend, she's my everything. It's not her fault, you know? She didn't know, we didn't know. And when we did... She's the love of my life. It's complicated. Love is complicated.
 * Addison: Being a lesbian is not a choice. She's not going to change her mind. Hell, she's practically screwing Susan right under your nose!
 * Captain Montgomery: The mouth on you, you know? She sleeps with one woman, I sleep with all the rest, so what?!
 * Addison: And that's good enough for you? My entire life, I thought she was this poor, pathetic woman. I thought it was my job to cover for you, and it made me hate you. Don't you understand, I hated the wrong parent? By cheating, I thought I got it from you, but now I know you're the poor, pathetic one, because you love her and she loves someone else. But you stayed! This like some pathetic, sad, after-school special which is just awful because now, now I hate you both.

Another Second Chance [3.11]

 * Dell: What am I apologizing for? I did the right thing. Heather's face was burned off, you know, she burned her face off getting high. Really think I should've let Betsy into that room?
 * Naomi: Okay, you're in mourning and, uh, you are my friend and you you've been through Hell, so I've been really gentle with you. But I think I am not going to be gentle with you anymore, I think I'm just going to tell you the truth, because that's what I would want you to do for me. Are you okay with that, if I'm not gentle anymore?
 * Dell: Yes.
 * Naomi: Okay, I think you should've let her in that room. I think you should've let her say goodbye to her mother, I think Pete was right and you owe him an apology. And I think Betsy has a right to be pissed. I would be pissed too, seven or 37. I would be pissed.

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 * Cooper: We are breaking up.
 * Charlotte: Coop, we're having a fight.
 * Cooper: No, we're done. I'm done.
 * Charlotte: You don't get to be done. You don't get to decide what happens to us.
 * Cooper: Goodbye, Charlotte.
 * Charlotte: Okay, this, this is the problem right here. You won't man up and face stuff, you want to just cut and run. We're having a fight.
 * Cooper: No, the problem is that you are a sex toy I found on the internet. The problem is you're just a trashy little girl who's trying to please her dead daddy. And I shouldn't have expected much from you. My bad.
 * Charlotte: You act warm, all cute and cuddly, Cooper. But the bitch of it is, you're the one who's heartless. Not me, you. You're a cold, mean, miserable bastard who doesn't know a thing about forgiveness.
 * Cooper: You screwed another man and I forgave you!
 * Charlotte: That's just sex. I was talking about us. I was talking about love. You're supposed to love me.

Best Laid Plans [3.12]

 * Naomi: You can't walk.
 * Fife: You're black. What game are we playing?
 * Naomi: The day that you found out, when they told you that, uh, your legs, that you would, you would never walk again. That must've been the worst day of your life. How did you deal with it?
 * Fife: Why would you assume that was my worst day? Losing my legs changed my life, but, uh, certainly didn't ruin it. There's a period of adjustment, but you deal with it.

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 * Sam: Do you remember the day Maya lost her first tooth? It fell out in the yard, we spent about four hours looking for that thing because without proof, the Tooth Fairy wouldn't pay up. And then there's today. You know, we're going to get through this, once this whole thing is over and done, we're going to get back there. Say something! Anything!
 * Naomi: What do you want me to say? You want me to say I did the wrong thing? Okay, I did the wrong thing. Do I believe I'm going to Hell for forcing our daughter to have an abortion? Absolutely. Do I regret doing what I had to do? No. I would do anything, I would give my life to protect her, and if that means I'm going to Hell then fine, I'm going to Hell.
 * Sam: Naomi...
 * Naomi: I failed, Sam. I failed. First in our marriage, and now being a mother.
 * Sam: No! This is on both of us.
 * Naomi: I thought I taught her right from wrong. She didn't listen, it's like nothing I did made any difference. I failed.

Shotgun [3.13]

 * Naomi: I tried. I tried to engage, but I was too late. And now I... Do you know, I used, I used to think of myself as a good person. You know? I was a good friend, a good mother, and a good ex-wife. Something happened and now I... You know, I didn't get it... What you went through, with Lucas, and walking away, I didn't get it. And I know Maya's not like that, but I get it now, I do. I'm sorry.
 * Violet: You don't get it. You don't... I didn't walk away from my child because I couldn't deal with him, or because I wanted to control what he did. For me, walking away was the... most awful thing in my life, but I, I made a choice, because I thought it was in my child's best interest. I was just... to damaged to do anything but hurt Lucas. So, I walked away, not to avoid him or to control him but to save him. But Nay, you just didn't get your way, so you want to walk away to avoid figuring out what comes next.

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 * Addison: I like someone. A lot, and my dating life in LA has been a little... crazy. It's been awful and hard. And suddenly I meet someone who's easy, and it's not hard-work and there's not that awkward dance of getting to know you. It's like, it's like picking up on the sixtieth date, it's like what I've been looking for has been right in front of me the whole time.
 * Sheldon: Well it sounds... perfect.
 * Addison: It could be, but seeing him would hurt a friend.
 * Sheldon: And you care about this friend?
 * Addison: She's my closest friend.
 * Sheldon: Ah, yes, well, that could be a problem.
 * Addison: That's not a helpful response!
 * Sheldon: When someone like you poses a problem like this, I think you know what you want and that you want it and you're looking for me to tell you that it's alright. To do what you want.
 * Addison: And is it?
 * Sheldon: I think friendship is important. And lord knows this friend, this woman you're talking about, I don't want to see her put through anything else right now. But if this is really it, the one, I don't know that I could walk away.

Love Bites [3.14]

 * Charlotte: I know how it is, Paige. Honestly, you love somebody, you want them to love you back the same way, think love should be magic and perfect. But real-life isn't like that.
 * Paige: You don't know him.
 * Charlotte: I know guys like him. I know he's biting other girls besides you.
 * Paige: Seth would never lie to me.
 * Charlotte: [sitting down on the bed] Men lie to us all the time. And we lie to them. Sometimes you do it to protect yourself or the other person, sometimes it's to try and get what you want and sometimes it's just easier. If you think love means never lying to each other, you're not ready for it. It's hard, I know it is. You get bit, you think it's for life, and when you find out it isn't, it hurts, leaves a scar.

'Til Death Do Us Part [3.15]

 * Sam: First off, I'd like to thank everyone for coming. I know I speak for Naomi and Corrine and Maya and Dink when I say that we feel so very blessed that you all came and shared this special event with us. Seeing Maya in this wedding dress, I'm struck by what a beautiful and elegant young woman she has grown up to become. And I know that moving forward, this image of her will stay with me, the same as another image of Maya in a different pretty, white dress has stayed with me as well. The dress I'm talking about was white, but it had red and blue ABCs all across the front. I, uh, I remember I came home one evening after a marathon of kids' parties and whatnot and Little Miss Maya was not quite ready to take her little dress off and get in the bath, so we went into her room, hung out on her floor and started talking. And out of nowhere, she told me when she grew up, she wanted to marry me. So, I said 'Why?' I asked her 'Why me?' and she looked up at me and she said 'Because Daddy, you are my anyway friend.' Now, at the time, I didn't know what that meant so Maya had to explain to me that an anyway friend is the one person in your life, who no matter what they say or do, no matter what they've been through with you, they love you anyway. So, my sincerest hope is that for Maya Dink, and for Dink Maya is that anyway friend, because no matter how old you are, or what your responsibilities, if you have love, real, unconditional love, I think you can make it. So, to my anyway friend and her anyway friend, may you not only make it, but enjoy it.

Fear of Flying [3.16]

 * Naomi: [To Fife over William White] What do you have against him? Hey, what?
 * Fife: William White doesn't know you! He just likes the idea of you, you'd be like, uh, a trophy in his case. That's what you do for him. But since I read once when you're fighting for a girl you love you shouldn't put down the competition because it makes you look insecure, I'll bring it back to me. Um, I know I'm abrasive, I know I'm snide, but you make me a better person. That's what you do for me.

Triangles [3.17]

 * Addison: Okay, there's Pete and the baby, and then there's Sam, who has Vanessa.
 * Sheldon: I have an office...
 * Addison: Sheldon, focus. Am I stupid, or am I a bad person? Because there's this great guy, and he's got a great baby, and I really want the baby, and I want the guy. I want to love the guy, but what am I doing instead? I'm going crazy over Sam and Vanessa, who I genuinely think is not a bad person, although I do think that she might be a bad doctor because she disagrees with the medical course of treatment that I know to be correct, but am I stupid? Because I have no right to have feelings for Sam, I don't know why I have feelings for Sam, he's Naomi's ex-husband, he's my friend, what the hell's wrong with me?
 * Sheldon: Do you like being with Pete?
 * Addison: Yes!
 * Sheldon: And do you like to be with Lucas?
 * Addison: Yes!
 * Sheldon: So you want to be with them, you just don't want to... be with them?
 * Addison: Because of Sam! Say something shrinky.
 * Sheldon: Look, if you come to my office...
 * Addison: Short, quick answers, please.
 * Sheldon: Okay. Well, a few months ago you found out that your mother was living a secret life, hiding her homosexuality from you. And because she was guarding this secret, you feel like you never really knew or bonded with her.
 * Addison: What does that have to do with my feelings for Pete, the baby, and Sam?
 * Sheldon: Well, you might be harboring feelings about connecting with the child as that causes you to place yourself in a maternal role, which could be raising feelings of rejection for you. As well, you likely project Pete into the role of your father, Sam into the role of a forbidden connection, which confuses your feelings for either man. It becomes hard to see past the deep-rooted psychosexual implications in which you're going through.
 * Addison: What?
 * Sheldon: You have mommy issues.

Pulling the Plug [3.18]

 * Sam: Addison, it's not my fault.
 * Addison: You could have kept your mouth shut.
 * Sam: She saw us. She knew.
 * Addison: There was nothing to see. Nothing happened.
 * Sam: Nothing happened, really? So, there's nothing for Naomi to be mad about?
 * Addison: We never...
 * Sam: She saw what she saw because it was there. Now, maybe you're afraid to act on it, but it was there.
 * Addison: So, what are you saying? That it would be better if we had, if you and I had slept together, you're saying it would be okay that Naomi's mad?
 * Sam: At least we could be together, instead of whatever this is.
 * Addison: Okay, I don't know what she is to you, but she is important to me. She's my... she's everything.
 * Sam: So then, what am I?
 * Addison: You have a girlfriend. And I have Pete, so we are nothing.

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 * Addison: Nay, Sam and I never meant to have feelings for each other, it just happened. But it never went anywhere because of you, please don't be mad at me.
 * Naomi: Mad?!
 * Addison: Nay!
 * Naomi: [to Sam] Did you ever love me?
 * Sam: Don't be ridiculous.
 * Naomi: Was I second choice? When did all this start? When we were in med school?
 * Addison: No!
 * Naomi: [to Addison] What, when you were maid of honor at my wedding?
 * Addison: It's not like that, Naomi.
 * Naomi: It is like that. I... I can't stop wondering. Everything is tainted with this. He... he is the father of my child, Addison, there's a bond there. And maybe I should expect you to understand that, but you don't get friendship.
 * Addison: That's why we backed off, Naomi. Friendship.
 * Naomi: I'm second guessing everything that's ever happened between us. Plus, every good memory of our marriage, of our friendship. No, no I am not mad, you two have broken my heart.

Eyes Wide Open [3.19]

 * Cooper: [to a patient who doesn't want treatment] Well, I admit I don't know what it's like to get old. But when it comes to sex, I get that. And when you can't do it, I mean that is... Look, it happens, and it happens to every guy. I was with a woman I loved and we're fighting a lot, and, uh, I... I was stressed out and it made it difficult to perform.
 * Schmidt: And it was humiliating?
 * Cooper: Oh, it was. And so I pushed her away, and I treated her badly because I was feeling like I was less of a man. I was, I was wrong. I was wrong. Mr. Schmidt, I can't promise you that there'll be no side effects if you do this treatment, but I do know that you'll be alive. And you will get to continue to love Nora for a long time to come. You will be the man in her life, and that's the most important thing.

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 * Amelia: I almost killed her, Sam. And those babies.
 * Sam: They're in Addison's hands.
 * Amelia: What am I doing?
 * Sam: You're doing surgery on a woman's brain, a... a surgery you said only you could do. A surgery you fought for. Stop standing there and start acting like a surgeon!
 * Amelia: You sound like Addison.
 * Sam: No, I sound like you before you started losing confidence in yourself. Amelia, can you do this? Can you wake this woman up and bring her back to her family? Or were you just spouting a bunch of mess because you like to cut?

Second Choices [3.20]

 * Addison: I can't have kids, did you know that? I've got like one egg left or something horrible like that, and I'm okay with it, I am, I made my peace. I... wasn't one of those crazy women who cried, you know, every time she saw a baby, I just shut it down. But then, uh, Pete and I happened, and... that meant Lucas too. And it was so scary for me to allow myself to... enjoy him, to love him. But when I did, it was like... it was like I was broken and Lucas fixed me, and now I can't imagine my life without him, I can't, I just... So, you coming back, and I'm thrilled that you're back, genuinely, because I like you, Violet. And what happened to you was so... But for it means, I'm saying it's hard for me to.

War [3.21]

 * Addison: How did your lawyers know about Violet's abortions? [pause] Answer me.
 * Pete: I had to do something to help us win.
 * Addison: I don't even know what to say to you.
 * Pete: What? Addison...
 * Addison: I don't know, it's like you... you have done some horrible things during this trial, but I told myself it was because, you know, you're worried and you're scared, but now, now it's like you shut down Pete and became this cold, hard, mean...
 * Pete: You know what, mind your own business.
 * Addison: Mind my own business?
 * Pete: Yes.
 * Addison: This is my business! You made it my business when you put your son in my arms! If I didn't love that kid, I'd sit back and I'd watch you and Violet tear each other to shreds, but I do love him, and that is who I'm concerned about.

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 * Naomi: Okay, I'm going to give you five minutes. You've got five minutes to sulk about what everybody said about you in there. You've got five minutes to cry and scream and to call them every bad name in the book. [Violet tries to interrupt] And then when those five minutes are up, you're going to walk back into that courtroom and you're going to fight for your son.
 * Violet: I can't...
 * Naomi: I'm sorry, but the clock is ticking.
 * Violet: I can't. Damn it, Naomi. You know, maybe he's better off without me, okay? Maybe I am a terrible mother.
 * Naomi: Wait, that does not mean that you quit! Yes, there will be times when you let your child down, there will be times when you do the wrong thing, there will be times when you are a horrible mother, but that does not mean that you quit. It means that you fight harder. That's what I should have done. So, go back in there and fight. Fight for the both of us.

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 * Violet: Let's get this straight, Lucas was not born, he was ripped from my body and afterwards I was fighting for my life and my sanity, so I couldn't quite focus on who the father was.
 * Ruby: We all understand the amount of stress that you were under, but in that situation, in any situation, don't you think putting your own needs first is the antithesis to being a good mother?
 * Violet: I've spent a lot of time thinking like that, Miss Broome. A lot of time thinking that I was poison for my child. But now I know that that is not true. I have gone to therapy, I have done the work, and I know with every fiber of my being that I am ready to be Lucas's mother. And when I wasn't ready, I gave him to the one person I knew that would put Lucas's life before his own, and that was Pete. And my friends stepped in and helped, and they are protective of Lucas, and as hard as it is to hear their concern for me, I'm glad that they're protective. But I am back, and I'm not going to apologize or be made to feel bad for doing what was best for my child and for me. I am here today because I'm healed, and I want to share custody of my son. I'm ready to share in the burden of parenting, and I deserve that chance because I did the work, because I got better and because I am Lucas's mother. I am Lucas's mother, and no one else can say that.

In the Name of Love [3.22]

 * Amelia: People don't change.
 * Violet: Of course they do.
 * Amelia: They modify, they adjust, but underneath we are who we are.
 * Violet: That's not true. I know it's not true. My entire career is based on helping people become who they can be. People do change, I've seen it.
 * Amelia: People just bet better at covering up their flaws.

The End of a Beautiful Friendship [3.23]

 * Violet: Are we all just waiting for me to have a PTSD freak out?
 * Everyone: No. What? Stop, why would...
 * Violet: Oh, who am I kidding? I am freaking out. We should all be freaking out. A year ago, I was dying and we got through that, we got another year under our belts. And once again, here we are, in the same place, with somebody else... I just want to scream to whoever keeps doing this, to just stop, stop bringing us here with another one of our own dying.

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 * Sheldon: Is there some glaringly obvious reason why I'm everybody's second choice?
 * Addison: Ugh, you and me both.
 * Sheldon: No, anybody who could choose you would. You just can't quite decide what you want.
 * Addison: Yeah, well apparently I want everything.
 * Sheldon: Yeah, you do, and you should get everything. You're just scared of what it will mean and being scared, no one lays on their deathbed wishing they had less, less love, no one. So, if you love the guy, Addison, for God's sake just don't let him get away.