Puss in Boots (2011 film)

Puss in Boots is a 2011 computer-animated adventure film spun-off from the Shrek franchise produced by DreamWorks Animation and distributed by Universal Pictures, directed by Chris Miller (who directed Shrek the Third in 2007), executive produced by Guillermo del Toro, starring Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis, Billy Bob Thornton, Amy Sedaris and Constance Marie, and written by Tom Wheeler. It was released in theatres on October 28, 2011 in Digital 3D and IMAX 3D. Looking good never looked so good. Taglines

Puss

 * [first lines; voice over] Through the years, I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato, The Furry Lover, Frisky Two Times, and then The Gingerhead Man. But to most, I am Puss in Boots! [whispers] Outlaw.
 * Don't make the cat angry...
 * You made the cat angry. You do not want to make the cat angry! [pulls his claws out, causing the bandit behind him to lose his pants]
 * How dare you do the litterbox on me! [offended, when the mysterious cat makes a dancing move similar to the movements of a cat hiding their wastes in the sand of their litter box]
 * Fear me, if you dare!

Kitty

 * [To Puss; in sing-song voice] Someone forgot his money!
 * I'm called Kitty Softpaws, because I'll steal you blind and you'll never notice that I'm there.
 * You hit me in the head with a GUITAR?!

Humpty

 * It’s been a long time, brother.
 * Are those new boots? [Puss: No! They are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me.] Betrayed you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge, surrounded by soldiers! They wrote a song about it!

Comandante

 * You saved my mother.
 * Señor Puss, he's a hero!
 * [gasps] You disgrace those *boots?!*
 * [to his guards] Arrest them!
 * FREEZE!!!
 * [to Puss; playing the guitar] Puss in Boots?! What are you doing with the guitar and those boots?! Arrest him!

Dialogue

 * Puss: One ring, please.
 * Man: ?
 * Puss: (chuckles) So funny.


 * Puss: No, they are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me!
 * Humpty Dumpty: Betrayed you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge… surrounded by soldiers! They wrote a song about it!
 * Puss: Then how did we get to the bridge in the first place?
 * Humpty Dumpty: Because we were brothers, and brothers were supposed to look out for each other, not--!
 * Kitty: [enters the scene] Humpty! Remember why we were here.


 * Kitty : [sing-song voice] Someone forgot his money! [shows Puss his bag of money]


 * Kitty: I'll steal you blind and you won't even know I was there!


 * Tavern patron #1: Show him the golden eggs. [Tavern patron #2 begins to try unzipping his pants; cut to Puss]
 * Puss: No! You have shown enough.


 * Young Humpty: Well, we got red beans, we got green beans, coffee beans, lima beans… but no magic beans.
 * Young Puss: Would you care for a jelly bean?
 * Young Humpty: Oh, thank you.


 * Jill: [holding Puss upside down by his foot over a cliff] Is it true a cat always lands on its feet?
 * Puss: No, that is just a rumor spread by dogs!
 * Jill: Well, let's find out.


 * Puss: You were in cahoots?!
 * Humpty: Oh yeah! They all work for me. I spent a lot of time in prison preparing for this.
 * Puss: You set me up?
 * Humpty: Oh, yeah! I set you up, of course! You think this was all about getting the gold and clearing your name? [sternly] This... little adventure was about 1 thing: revenge. You never knew it, Puss. But I was always... there.
 * [The word, "there" echoes as Puss remembers when Humpty Dumpty appears in different places, The old man's cottage, the bar, the hotel, the cats' hideout and how Humpty gets picked up by crows.]
 * Humpty: You wanted to repay an old debt, Puss? Well, so did I.
 * Puss: Why would you do this?
 * Humpty: [becomes angrier] You left me on that bridge! You abandoned me when I needed you the most! What happened to "brothers forever"?!
 * Puss: [infuriated to Humpty] I TRUSTED you!
 * Humpty: Well now you're finally gonna know what it feels like. You know?! To trust someone and have them stab you in the back?! GUARDS!
 * [The Comandante’s guards surround Puss]
 * Comandante: Puss in Boots, you're under arrest for the robbery of the San Ricardo bank!
 * Humpty: Consider this the final meeting of bean club.
 * Puss: [enraged] I should SCRAMBLE you with onions! [draws his sword at Humpty, frightening him]
 * Comandante: [to Puss; points his sword at his neck] You should never have come back.
 * [Puss growls at Comandante, but Imelda stops him]
 * Imelda: ¡Pequeño! Wait! Do not fight them, please...
 * Puss: Mama! Listen to me. I can explain.
 * Imelda: No. Puss, no more running. Please stop breaking my heart and face what you have done.
 * Puss: I'm sorry, Mama. I let you down. [drops his sword]
 * Guard 1: Paws where we can see them. [Puss raises both his paws]
 * Guard 2: Turn around, slow. [Puss turns around slowly, but...] Slower!
 * [Puss finishes turning around super slowly, Comandante brings in a kennel.]
 * Comandante: Step into the carrier, quiet like. [pushes the kennel to Puss with his feet] C'mon. [Puss gets in the kennel, Comandante puts it on the wagon.]
 * Humpty: Attention! Attention, everyone! If you could just come in a little closer. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... the Golden Goose of legend! [Kitty brings in the golden goose and looks at Puss in the kennel.]
 * Puss: Kitty? Not you too? [Comandante giddaps to leaves for prison.]
 * Humpty: Gold for everyone! Boo! Boo! Boo! [cackles] We got some fresh, hot gold here, people! Step right up! Get it hot! [throws the gold to the crowd]
 * Crowd: ¡Huevos! ¡Huevos! ¡Huevos!
 * Comandante: 1 hat, 1 belt, and 2 boots… Once a symbol of honor. [a bottle of catnip falls out of his boot] 1 bottle of catnip?!
 * Puss: Uh… it is for my glaucoma.


 * Andy "Jack" Beanstalk: WHOO! HO! No, no! Don't stop on my account. Well, it looks like the egg got what he wanted?
 * Puss: You talking about Humpty?
 * Andy Beanstalk: [stabbles] Don't say his name! I used to share this cell with that smelly thing. Happiest day of my life was when he left, till I realized he stole my magic beans.
 * Puss: Wait, wait, wait! You had the beans? Who are you? [the prisoner has fallen asleep snoring loudly, Puss wakes him up] Hey! What's your name?
 * Andy Beanstalk: Andy Beanstalk, but my friends call me Jack! I traded the family cow for them beans. Of course, it wasn't my family's cow, some other family's family cow. That's why I got 8 to 10 years. Always know which cow's yours… [falls asleep again snoring loudly]
 * Puss: Crazy man. WAKE UP! [Andy wakes up again] What else do you know?
 * Andy Beanstalk: We're all goners, thanks to that little stinky! I told him! I told him not to take the goose, but all he wanted was his revenge!
 * Puss: "Don't take the goose." Why? [Andy is fallen asleep again and he slaps him to wake him up]
 * Andy Beanstalk: [screams] The Great Terror! That's the Golden Goose's mama.
 * Puss: Oh, no.
 * Andy Beanstalk: And she will be out for blood when she comes back for her baby.
 * Puss: [gasps and rushes to the guard in the door's cell] GUARD! SAN RICARDO'S IN TERRIBLE DANGER! YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME!
 * Guard: Quiet, you!


 * Puss: I shall make you into an egg-salad sandwich!
 * Humpty: [shrieks] That is disgusting!
 * Puss: Give me the goose, Humpty.
 * Humpty: No can do, I'm afraid. See, the mama's on her way and when she gets here, it's no more bye-bye San Ricardo, no more bean club and everything you ever cared about.
 * Puss: Revenge on me is one thing, but, why Imelda? Why the orphanage? This is our home.
 * Humpty: You mean your home. [sighs] I never belonged here. We had a plan to get out of here, but then you became a hero and you picked this place over me. You left me with nothing.
 * Puss: Humpty, I'm sorry I hurt you. But do not take it out on these people. You are better than this.
 * Humpty: No, I'm not.
 * Puss: Oh, come on! I know the real Humpty. The way you saw the world, the inventor, the dreamer! What happened to that guy?
 * [They both hear the sound of the mama goose as she gets nearer]
 * Humpty: I think it's too late.
 * Puss: It is never too late to do the right thing. Together we can save San Ricardo! I can forgive you, Humpty, if you help me now.
 * Humpty: Really? After everything I put you through.
 * Puss: Prove to me there is still a good egg in you.
 * Humpty: I'll try.


 * Humpty: [holding onto the rope] Here we are again. Right, Puss?
 * Puss: I will not leaved you behind this time, Humpty.
 * Humpty: [remorseful] I'm sorry, Puss. I've made a mess out of everything. I'm a rotten egg. I'm not a person. I'm not a bird, I'm not even a food. I don't know what I am.
 * Puss: You are what you have always been, my brother.
 * Humpty: Brothers forever. [almost grabs Puss' paw, but starts losing his grip] You can't save us both.
 * Puss: Yes, I can. Just hang on.
 * Humpy: Puss, you have to save the baby or the mama will destroy San Ricardo. It’s the right thing to do.
 * Puss: I will not let you go, Humpty.
 * Humpty: [last words] I know you won’t. So I won’t make you choose. [closes his eyes and let the rope go, falling to his death and cracked with rock-bridge]
 * Puss: Humpty!

Taglines

 * Looking good never looked so good.
 * Live for danger. Fight for justice. Pray for mercy.
 * Get ready for an adventure nine lifetimes in the making.
 * He's been a bad kitty.
 * Rebel. Lover. Hero.
 * Nine lives. One destiny.

Voice Cast

 * Antonio Banderas — Puss in Boots
 * Salma Hayek — Kitty Softpaws
 * Zach Galifianakis — Humpty Alexander Dumpty
 * Billy Bob Thornton — Jack
 * Amy Sedaris — Jill
 * Constance Marie — Imelda