Radio Active

Radio Active was a Radio 4 comedy show which parodied local radio broadcasting from the United Kingdom. It began as the "Oxford Review" in 1980 and ran to seven series between 1981 and 1987 plus many specials. The show starred Angus Deayton, Geoffrey Perkins, Michael Fenton Stevens, Helen Atkinson-Wood with songs by Philip Pope. The show was transferred to television as KYTV. The character names in Radio Active usually referred to pieces of studio equipment.

Telephone jingle

 * Presenter: Call us on...
 * Jingle [multi-tracked singing voice]: Four eighty-five six two four two!
 * Presenter: I'll just repeat that...
 * Jingle: Oh double-one oh-one oh-oh! One-oh! Oh-double-oh! [long, drawn-out and harmonised] One... [Pause long enough for presenter to start speaking again, then short and sudden...] NINE!

Boiled Egg

 * Nigel : Well, I'm in the kitchen of Mr Roy Ferris...
 * Roy : Hello.
 * Nigel : Ya, hello, Roy, ... who's been keeping pretty secret about what he's cooking here. Roy, you're gonna tell us about the secret recipe of yours?
 * Roy : ... No... it's a secret.
 * [Audience laughs]
 * Nigel : But you're going to tell us about it, aren't you?
 * Roy : yea, that's just a joke anyway. ... First of all, you take about a pint of water, and you pour it into a saucepan.
 * Nigel : And what do u do then?
 * Roy : Then you put it on the stove, and you boil the water.
 * Nigel : Right. So the ingredients so far....
 * Roy : Er.. the ingredients so far are about a pint of water, a saucepan, and some...warm...er..hee...
 * Nigel : Heat
 * Roy : Heat! That's right.
 * Nigel : So, er, what then?
 * Roy : So when the water is boiling nicely, you take an egg...
 * Nigel : An egg
 * Roy : And you drop it in.
 * Nigel : Into the water?
 * Roy : Yup, that's right. Into the water. That's correct. That's absolutely vital by the way. And you leave it there for about 3 to 4 minutes until it's done.
 * Nigel : I see.
 * Roy : See, perfect.
 * Nigel : That's it, is it?
 * Roy : Yup, that's simple like that.
 * Nigel : This is in fact a boiled egg, isn't it?
 * Roy : Pardon?
 * Nigel : This is what I would call a boiled egg.
 * Roy : Hah no no. This is what I would call "oeuf bouilli".
 * [Audience laughs]
 * Nigel : In English?
 * Roy : A boiled egg.
 * [Audience laughs]
 * Nigel : So... you'll simply crack the egg, peel and eat it. Is that right?
 * Roy : Hah hah.. no. I'll drink it.
 * Nigel : You'll drink the egg?
 * Roy : No no no. I'll drink the boiled water, stupid! [Audience laughs]... You don't wanna eat the egg. You throw it out away. You don't wanna eat that.
 * Nigel : Why not?
 * Roy : Oh, that's come out of a hen's bum.
 * [Audience laughs]
 * [Audience laughs]

Problem Phone-in

 * Mike : The first '''Caller is already through. Hello, how can we help?
 * Caller # 1: Hello, Graham?
 * Mike : Er... no, Mike Channel here.
 * Caller #1 : Er... can I speak to Graham please?
 * Mike : Er.. this is Mike Channel here, and the Radio Active doctor here looking at some of your problems. And you're on the air right now.
 * Caller #1 : Oh... Can you give Graham a message then?
 * [Audience laughs]
 * Mike : Right. Er... Thanks for your call. Let's move on to someone else. Next on the line is Peter Barbary. Okay. Go ahead Peter.
 * Caller #2 (Peter) : Right. Er... Is Graham there?
 * [Audience laughs]
 * Mike [surprised] : What?!
 * Caller #2 : Sorry, Graham?
 * Mike : This is Mike Channel on Radio Active.
 * Caller #2 : Yup, could I leave a message for him?
 * Mike : I'm afraid that there's no Graham here. Er... clearly seem to be getting some cross-lines here. So let's take our final call before break. And let's hope someone if we can help on Radio Active's problem phone-in. Hello?
 * Caller #3 : Hello.
 * Mike : How can we help?
 * Caller #3 : It's Graham here. Any messages for me?
 * [Audience laughs]

Mike Channel Just Arrived

 * [Radio Active theme music fades out.]
 * Mike Flex : Today, we've come down here for 27 minutes to for the little village of Humpingham. Isn't that right, Anna?
 * Anna : Yes, Mike. And I know that Uncle Mike, Nigel, and myself, Mike Channel's unable to be with us today, are going to have a wonderful day, getting to know the people and asking them for a few requests.
 * [Car approaching with brake...]
 * Mike Channel : [Saying to the driver] Thank you.
 * [Mike Channel gets off the car, and slumps the door. Then, the car leaves.]
 * Mike Flex : And here, in fact, is the old man of the air waves, Mike Channel.
 * Anna : Who seems have found his way here. Hi Mike!
 * Mike Flex : Hi Mike.
 * Mike Channel : Hello Anna, ..., Michael.
 * Mike Flex : Well, what a surprise.
 * Anna : Good to see you.
 * Mike Channel : Yes, I thought at least I could do. The station appeared to be completely shut up when I arrived this morning.
 * [Audience laughs]
 * Mike Flex : Well, that's right, Mike, because today, of course, it's all rather lovely because we're in the village of Humpingham.
 * Mike Channel : Yes, it would be rather lovely to be told.
 * [audience laughs]
 * Mike Channel : I have to listen to the radio to find out where you were.
 * [Audience laughs]
 * Mike Flex : Hah hah, super.
 * Anna : Great.
 * Mike Channel : Nine lifts it took.
 * [Audience laughs]
 * [Radio Active loves Humpingham jingle...]