Ratchet & Clank (2002 video game)

Ratchet & Clank is a 3D platform video game developed by Insomniac Games and published by Sony Computer Entertainment for the PlayStation 2 in 2002. It is the first game in the series.

Ratchet

 * Now we know where he (Drek) is. Let's get him!

Clank

 * Hmm... Better not let Ratchet see this one.

Captain Qwark

 * Ya'know, Ratchet. I'm doing this for your own good.
 * Here's a little something from me... to you.
 * Oh yeah!
 * Ha, ha!
 * Bullseye!
 * Take that!
 * Wooooohoooo!
 * Am I good or what?
 * Did you feel that, punk?
 * Oh yeah! I'm the man!
 * Nice shot, kid. I owe you one.
 * Pretty good! For a beginner!
 * Owww! Now why would you do anything like that?
 * Ahh, that's a scratch. It joined me in my first space battle when I was a small product.
 * Why, you son of a *****!
 * Ratchet meet missiles. Missiles meet Ratchet!
 * Okay, you had your fun. Now it's my turn!
 * Time to get up close and personal.
 * Let's have a little face time.
 * Owwww! Enough practicing! Let's have some fun!
 * Why those buffoons? They couldn't shoot the broad side of my fitness trainer!
 * Well it looks like if you want a job done right, you got to do it yourself.
 * Thank you, thank you! Tonight, we'll be rebroadcast at 7 on channel 4,073.
 * All the day's work.
 * Well...that was easy.
 * And that my friend is the end of that.
 * Look, mister! You're in big trouble! BIG trouble!
 * You think you got me, huh? Catch me if you can!
 * Hey, Ratchet buddy old pal! He he why don't we just call it a day? D-d-do you there?
 * Oh...I always liked you kiddo. I was just so unhearted.


 * Uhhhh. Mayday! MAYDAY! Well, Ratchet, I'd say you passed the test! Hah, hah. Oh boy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. [yells as his ship crashes down to Oltanis]

Chairman Drek

 * Hmm... You might have been useful to me after all. Too bad you chose the wrong side.

Dialogue

 * The Warbot Defect (Clank): Interesting. [The Lombax (Ratchet) falls off the crate he's standing on with a startled yelp] You're quite handy with your wrench.
 * Lombax: You bet. I built that ship with it.


 * [Chairman Drek is announcing his prerecorded eviction message to planet Novalis]
 * Chairman Drek: Hello, citizens of... [camera switches to an image of planet Novalis, then back to Drek] My race, the Blarg, have a small problem. Our planet has become so polluted, overpopulated and poisonous that we are no longer able to dwell here. But I, Chairman Drek, have a solution - we are constructing a pristine new world using the choicest planetary components available. So, what does this mean to you, you might ask? Using highly-sophisticated technology, which you couldn't possibly understand, we will be extracting a large portion of your planet and adding it to our new one. Unfortunately, this change in mass will cause your planet to spin out of control and... drift into the sun which will explode into a flaming ball of gas, but of course, sacrifices must be made. Thank you for your cooperation.
 * Cameraman: Cut!
 * Drek: And if you don't like it, you can take your whiny, sniveling, snot-nosed populations, form a line behind me, and kiss my– [notices the recording is still on] We're still on? [turns his head to the right, shouts at someone who is off-screen] Well, turn it off, you idiot!


 * Plumber: [bent over, with his behind facing Ratchet and Clank] Dadblast it!
 * Ratchet [To Clank]: Look, plumber's crack.
 * Plumber: [standing up and turning to face the two] What did you just say?
 * Ratchet: I said, "look, the plumber's back"!
 * Plumber: Alright wise guy, shouldn't be on one of those escape transports?
 * Ratchet: Escape transports?
 * Plumber: [waving his arms] News flash! Giant robots attacking! The escape transports are taking all the rich folk off this galdarn planet.
 * Ratchet: So, why aren't you on one?
 * Plumber: Socioeconomic disparity.
 * Ratchet: [confused] Huh?
 * Clank: [To Ratchet] He hasn't got enough bolts.
 * Plumber: Working people have to wait for Captain Qwark to save us.


 * Plumber: [Gives Ratchet infobot and jumps down sewer pipe] Geronimo!
 * Ratchet: Did he just slide down a sewer pipe?


 * Clank: Excuse me, Captain, but we have more pressing issues. We urgently need your assistance.
 * Ratchet: Clank?
 * Clank: Yes, Ratchet?
 * Ratchet: [asking rhetorically] Do you notice something unusual about Captain Qwark?
 * Clank: Well, I find the fact that he has a spring where his legs should be to be quite puzzling.
 * Ratchet: [asking rhetorically again] And why do you suppose that is?
 * Clank: Probably a injury incurred, while battling evil?
 * Ratchet: This isn't the real Captain Qwark, you numskull. It's a robot!
 * Clank: [embarrassed] Oh…


 * Clank: [After Helga says she will make Ratchet and Clank pay for the prize for "Disgracing" the course] But that prize is ours from the captain. That's not fair.
 * Helga: [Tuts] Too bad, life's not fair.


 * Skidd McMarx: Anyway, I'm having trouble getting back to my ship... [Sees Sandsharks] Err... due to my sprained ankle.
 * Ratchet: Oh, come on.


 * Skidd's Agent: Argh! No signal whatsoever! This downtime is killing me!
 * Clank: Do you need medical attention, sir?
 * Skidd's Agent: Don't be so literal, son. The problem is I'm stranded in this backwater planet and my star client is nowhere to be found.
 * Ratchet: Hey, we saw you in that Infobot! You're Skidd's agent!
 * Skidd's Agent: Was Skidd's agent. I haven't seen him since our ship crashed. And an agent without a client is like a flea without a dog. Say, you look like an athletic kid. [Ratchet smiles] If you can bring back the championship prize from the hoverboard races in Blackwater City, I'll make you my next star.


 * Qwark: Welcome to my challenge course! Now is your chance to prove yourself strong and brave! Like me, heh heh. Conquer it, and you'll join in my fight against evil!
 * Ratchet: Haven't we done enough already?!
 * Qwark: What? I can't hear you!
 * Ratchet: I said... Haven't... we... done...
 * Qwark: Sorry, still having trouble! Tell me later!
 * Ratchet: Later!? We might be dead by then!
 * Qwark: WHAT!?
 * Ratchet: Alright, Clank, let's get going.


 * Drek: Back so soon?
 * Qwark: Oh, you're talking to me.
 * Drek: I'm not of habit of talking to myself, you buffoon. Did you get rid of them?
 * Qwark: Yes... No. Well, I had this plan and I thought–
 * Drek: 'You thought'? you thought!?! I do the thinking around here, you slugbrain idiot! I simply ordered you to deal with those two nuisances before they could cause any trouble!
 * Qwark: But I wanted to–
 * Drek: Do you still want to be my highly-paid spokesman of my new planet?
 * Qwark: Yeah?
 * Drek: Then the next time I tell you to do a job, I want RESULTS! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!


 * Commando: At attention, you desertin' maggots!
 * [Ratchet and Clank salute]
 * Commando: The next time you soldiers try to go AWOL, I'll shoot you myself!
 * Ratchet: Look, I just want to-
 * Commando: Zip it, worm! You see those bombers? If you don't get to the turret and knock those ships out of the sky, this whole planet's gonna be rubble! Meet me at the city entrance! [Walks off]
 * Clank: He needs our help!
 * Ratchet: Yeah? Why don't you go help him? Into another Trap! Well, go on. Go fight some evil.
 * Clank: [Hangs his head] At least I am not a coward!
 * Ratchet: Whatever. As soon as I find Qwark, I'm selling you for scrap.


 * Ratchet: Now this guy's gonna blow up an entire planet? That's just... mean!
 * Clank: That's what I've been telling you!
 * Ratchet: Look, I'm still gunning for Qwark, but if we end up taking out Drek too, fine! [Sees Clank looking at him] What?
 * Clank: You do care.
 * Ratchet: Don't push it, pal.


 * Drek: It is time to begin your new assignment.
 * Qwark: Ah, a photo-op by your shiny new shuttle. Terrific idea.
 * Drek: You really are an idiot.
 * Qwark: What?
 * Drek: You're to take that shuttle to the moon base and ambush those two miscreants when they arrive.
 * Qwark: Oh, yes! Ha ha! Who were they again?
 * Drek: AARRRGGGHH! Those 2! [Points at a wanted poster showing Ratchet and Clank]
 * Qwark: Oh, of course! There is just one problem. I'm, uh--
 * Drek: Too washed up for ground combat? True. That is why I will be lending you my starfighter. You can still fly, can't you? [Quark nods] It's settled then. You will acquire the starfighter once you get to the moon base. Screw this up and the endorsement deal is OFF!
 * Qwark: [Gasps] But that'll ruin me! You wouldn't!
 * Drek: [Chuckles] Try me.




 * Drek: Is your current occupation leaving a rotten taste in your mouth? Then you need to know about BTS — Blarg Tactical Research Station. Hi, I'm Supreme Executive Chairman Drek, and we here at BTS are seeking motivated individuals to fill positions in these exciting careers.  Grindboot tester, warhead assembly technician, mutant animal husbandry, robot repairman, Suck Cannon test dummy, administrative assistant.  So call BTS! Build our weapons while you build your future!
 * Scientist: I'm calling BTS today!


 * Clank: I did not see Drek's ship. We must have missed him.
 * Ratchet: Argh! Who knows where Qwark is now? If we're gonna catch those two, we need a faster ship!
 * Clank: Perhaps this space station will supply the ship we need.
 * Ratchet: Well, we're here. Let's go check it out.


 * Ratchet: Um...
 * Clank: Yes, I know. It is worse than I thought too.
 * Ratchet: Look, maybe you were right. This is a lot bigger than you or me. I was really selfish focusing on Qwark.
 * Clank: It is not too late to stop Drek.
 * Ratchet: Hey, yeah! We've got this new ship! Let's go get him!
 * Clank: Now you are talking!


 * Ratchet: If I can get that thing, I'll be able to get past those robot guards.
 * Clank: Robots are not so easily fooled.
 * Ratchet: [trying to trick Clank by pointing at something] Ahh! What's that?
 * Clank: [falling for the trick, Clank turns his head] What?
 * Ratchet: Uh-huh...

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 * Lieutenant: Greetings, Executive Chairman Drek!
 * Drek: Dispense with the pleasantries, lieutenant. My sources tell me you're behind schedule. You must prepare this planet to be harvested for our new world!
 * Lieutenant: Yes sir. As you can see, everything is moving along, as planned.
 * Drek: I'm counting on you, lieutenant. And as your former commander can tell you, I don't take disappointment well.
 * Lieutenant: Yes sir! I won't fail!

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 * [In Gadgetron showroom]: Gadgetron has showrooms located on every inhabited planet in the galaxy. Even one on the uninhabited swamp planet of Bogia 4. We don't know exactly how that one got there. Engineering blames marketing, marketing blames legal, and legal has been at a 'conference' on planet Bahamia for 6 months and they don't return our calls.

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 * [Ratchet has seen a transmission of Chairman Drek preparing to blow up his home planet, Veldin, and is *ABSOLUTELY PISSED!*]
 * Clank: [nervously] Ratchet? Are you...all right?
 * Ratchet: [furious] HE...IS GOING... TO PAY!!!
 * Clank: Excuse me?
 * Ratchet: It shouldn't have taken me this long to see it! Drek is going to find out what happens when you mess with my home! [sees Clank looking at him] What are you smiling at?
 * Clank: This is the Ratchet I always knew was there.

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 * Drek: So, it has come to this. Once I step on this ignition switch, a countdown will commence. The end of which signals the destruction of your pitiful world.
 * Clank: There must be another way to make a home for your people!
 * Drek: You think that's what this is about? Who do you think polluted our last world? I did! This is about one thing and one thing only, cash! And lots of it! You see, I've been paid for every square inch of my new world. Once the inhabitants move in, I will begin polluting this world as well. Then the whole thing starts all over again! Ah, brilliant!
 * Clank: Why, you... you... evil... little...
 * [Drek activates the countdown]
 * Ratchet: Save it, Clank. We have to stop that timer!

Voice cast

 * Mikey Kelley - Ratchet
 * David Kaye - Clank
 * Jim Ward - Captain Qwark
 * Kevin Michael Richardson - Chairman Drek, Qwark's Bouncer, Commando
 * Mona Marshall - Helga
 * Chris Hatfield - Big Al
 * Neil Flynn - Skidd McMarx, Plumber
 * Sylvia Aimerito - Darla Gratch