Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando

Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando is a 2003 video game and a sequel to 2002’s Ratchet & Clank.

Dialogue

 * Interviewer: Welcome back to Behind the Hero, tonight's heroes are the duo who recently restored peace and order to our galaxy - Ratchet and Clank. So gentlemen, tell us about your latest incredible adventures.
 * Ratchet: Well as you can imagine, we've been pretty busy: After Drek's defeat, there were parades, press conferences, fancy dress balls...
 * Clank: ...And the wiener roast at Al's.
 * Ratchet: Oh yeah that. And then, things started to slow down a bit. After that, we... well...
 * Clank: There was the grand opening at Groovy Lube.
 * Ratchet: Right. I think that was... last week...(?)
 * Clank: (Correcting Ratchet) 6 months ago.
 * Ratchet: We're still pretty busy, but in a more, uh... domestic sense.
 * Clank: Yesterday, I flushed out my radiator core.
 * Ratchet: I guess... no one needs a hero right now...


 * Thief: (Points a gun at Ratchet) I see it's time to update my security forces.
 * Ratchet: Whoa-hoho, no, hey, no, no, look, I'm just here to fix the... trans... flex-er-coil.
 * Thief: Nice try. Give my regards to Megacorp.


 * Thief: [In a recording to Ratchet] You have no idea what you're involved in. Return to your own galaxy immediately or this will happen to you! [Hits button, nothing happens; less confidently] Or... this will happen to you...? [Presses other button which short-circuits Clank] Farewell!


 * [Thief calls Thugs-4-Less]
 * Thug Leader: Thugs-4-Less, if it ain't broke, we'll break it.
 * Thief: Riiight... I'm in the market for some security...
 * Thug Leader: Hey, you bring the cash, we'll bring the thrash!
 * Thief: Good. I need your best men to meet me at these coordinates...


 * Ratchet: [Seeing Clank unconscious] Clank don't... uh... move, I'm coming down! [Thief comes from behind and pushes Ratchet off the ledge]
 * Ratchet: Son of a Qwark!


 * [Angela ducks down to not be seen by the Thug Leader but sneezes]
 * Thug Leader: Who's there?
 * Angela: Meow.
 * Thug Leader: Awww... [Quickly realizing the trick] Hey, wait a second! [Angela comes up on screen, standing up] Sending a little message to ya little pals, hah? [to where the recording is] Well say goodbye, boys! [Angela makes a run for it] [To someone else about Angela] Take 'er to Headquarters!


 * Ratchet: Did you see that?
 * Clank: Yes. Angela knows how to defeat the Protopet.
 * Ratchet: And...?
 * Clank: And she does a terrible cat impression?
 * Ratchet: And we have to rescue her from the thugs!
 * Clank: Agreed. We need that answer.
 * Ratchet: And we have to protect her!
 * Clank: Okay...


 * Thug Leader: This message is for all Thugs-4-Less personnel. Ehh... Megacorp has hired us to protect their C.E.O., Mr. Fizzwidget, [Holds up vid-screen showing a picture of Mr. Fizzwidget] who they think is getting a little cuckoo in his old age and concerned for his safety. [Lowers the vid-screen away] Now, Mr. Fizzwidget's a little old-fashioned, so I want everything handled with the... ahem... [spits] pride and courtesy; people have come to expect from us. Also, keep an eye out for these two characters. [Another vid-screen is shown, this one shows Ratchet and Clank] I've got a personal interest in seeing these 2 rubbed out. So, I'm offering a free pizza party to the squad that bags 'em. And remember, that includes drinks and desserts!


 * Gadgetron Matron: (Farts) Ooh! Excuse me! I think I just blew another vacuum tube!
 * Ratchet: Should I take a look?
 * Gadgetron Matron: My word! You young people are so fresh these days!


 * Announcer: Ask yourself, are you man enough, hero enough, insane enough to step into the ring with two of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy? If you answered yes, you're a big fat liar!


 * Galactic Greetings Voice: Hello...
 * Angela: Ratchet and Clank.
 * Galactic Greetings Voice: You lucky devils!
 * Angela: Angela Cross.
 * Galactic Greetings Voice: Has just sent you: a galactic greeting!
 * Angela: Guys! If you get this message, please meet me on my home world. Just so you know, I've found my old ID badge. [3 Protopets appear, catching Angela's attention] I'm pretty sure we can still use it to infiltrate Megacorp HQ. [As she says that, she bends down (almost off-screen), making a snowball and then stands up] but you're gonna have to hurry! [Throws the snowball at one of the Protopets, causing the other two to hide off-screen. Angela then catches her breath] Before the Protopets COMPLETELY OVERRUN US!! Oh, and sorry for the balloon-a-gram, it was the only thing I could get off this plan– [The 2 Protopets peak out from where they are hiding and one of them growls at Angela as she speaks, Angela then gets cut off]
 * Galactic Greetings Voice: We hope you enjoyed your galactic greeting!


 * [After Angela shows Ratchet and Clank a vid-screen about the Megacorp factory]
 * Angela: That'll shut them down, permanently. [Hands Clank a card]
 * Clank: 'A 20% discount at Groovy Lube'?
 * Angela: Ooooops! Wrong one.


 * Clank: It says, " i n case of emergency, break glass to get wrench". [Ratchet prepares to break the glass with his wrench] Hold on! This one says "Use rock to break glass to get wrench to break glass to get rock". Ooh! I love logic puzzles! Let's see... "If you break the glass with the–"
 * Ratchet: [Having already broken the glass and holding the new wrench] Solved it.


 * [Protopet Commercial]
 * Announcer: Why is Billy sad? [Billy cries] Is he cold, hungry, or maybe just...? [The Protopet comes on-screen, up to Billy]
 * Billy: [Scared] Oh no, no-no-no, take it away!
 * Announcer: ...LONELY!
 * Billy: NOOOOOO!
 * Announcer: Introducing the Megacorp Protopet. Your child will shriek with joy when he meets our adorable friend! [The Protopet gets closer to Billy] Wanna play ball? [Billy throws his ball at the Protopet which it swallows, then spits it out back at Billy with twice the force, knocking him over] So, does the Protopet. Need a partner for tag? [The Protopet starts to chase Billy who is screaming in fear] Go find the Protopet. Up for some Cops 'n' Robbers? [Protopet pins down Billy]
 * Billy: HELP... POL-LICE!!
 * Announcer: So, is you-know-who! Just ask Billy! [The Protopet spins around with Billy in its mouth and then spits him into the air]
 * Billy: [Screaming] NOOOOO!!!! [Lands on one of the roots of a tree]
 * Announcer: The new Megacorp Protopet. Stop by Planet Boldan and get yours FREE! From Abercrombie Fizzwidget himself. [Commercial ends]
 * Ratchet: [shocked] You mean that thing is going to be a pet?!
 * Clank: Megacorp intends to market a killer! [looks sad] That is simply... [suddenly looks angry] ...Unconscionable.


 * (Protopet Commercial)
 * Robot Child: Mommy, where do Protopets come from?
 * Robot Mother: Why... they come from Megacorp, dear!
 * Announcer: That's right, Mrs. Robot!

Cast

 * James Arnold Taylor as Ratchet
 * David Kaye as Clank and Arena Announcer
 * Jim Ward as Captain Qwark and Abercrombie Fizzwidget
 * Kath Soucie as Angela Cross
 * Steve Blum as Thugs-4-Less Leader
 * Michael Bell
 * Rodger Bumpass as The Unknown Thief (Angela Cross) and James T. Fullbladder
 * James Horan as Slim Cognito