Recess (TV series)

Recess is a Disney Channel animated series about the mischievous adventures of 6 children during recess, when the children form their own structured society. It spawned the films Recess: School's Out, Recess: Taking the Fifth Grade, and Recess: All Growed Down.

The Break In [1.1a]

 * TJ: Can't you see that I'm trapped in here? I've counted the ceiling tiles 13 times, guys. There's 1,678. You hear me? 1,678!


 * King Bob: [Talking about T.J.] Kids of the playground. The dumb kid should be free!


 * Gretchen: Look shiny metal! Do you like the shiny metal? If you help us we'll give you the shiny metal. What you say kindergartners?
 * The head kindergartner: Let's eat 'em!


 * Vince: Bob's king of the playground. If he helps the other kids will follow.
 * Spinelli: He better help or he's gonna meet my good friend Madam Fist!


 * Kid next to King Bob: My mom called me some dumb kid this morning.

The New Kid [1.1b]

 * Mikey: There are lots of people without names.
 * Gus: Like who?
 * Mikey: Like the Artist Formerly Known as Prince, the Unknown Soldier, and the other four guys in the Jackson Five.


 * Gus: I've been to 12 schools in the last 6 years, I never met anyone so friendly, it's so - so beautiful!

The Experiment [1.2a]

 * Butch: The future... is girls! Boys kissing girls! Girls kissing boys! And you know what else?! WE'RE ALL GONNA LIKE IT! [laughs diabolically]


 * Spinelli: Boys kissing girls? Girls kissing boys?
 * Gretchen: Surely, there must be some mistake. I mean, this defies the rules of nature and physics. Besides that, it's disgusting!
 * T.J.: But Butch says it's the future. His brother Joey told him.
 * Spinelli: Oh, please! The day I stop caring about dodgeball is the day the Earth starts spinning around the sun.
 * Gretchen: Which explains the D minus you got in Science.


 * [After Spinelli and T.J. kiss]
 * Spinelli: Ack! Puke city!
 * T.J.: Quick, someone get me some mouthwash!


 * T.J.: You realize we may have to get married after this.
 * Spinelli: You realize I may have to kill you after this.

The Great Jungle Gym Standoff [1.2b]

 * Spinelli: The last one to Ol' Rusty has to give Ms. Finster a sponge bath!
 * Randall: Hey! That's my job!

Jinxed [1.3a]

 * Gretchen: The kids' unwritten code of honor is what makes us different from adults, different from animals. What would we be without it?
 * Gus: Adult animals?
 * Spinelli: Nothing, that's what!


 * Gus:Its My Harmonica!
 * Ashleys:Your What?
 * Gus:Its My...
 * Ashleys:Harmonica! Jinx!


 * Spinelli: Hey! One of you drop five bucks?
 * Ashleys: Oooo...
 * T.J., Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, and Mikey: Scandalous! Jinx!

Officer Mikey [1.3b]

 * [looking for Ashley A's little sister, Britney]
 * Spinelli: We seek a formal sit-down by she who goes by the name Britney. :[four Kindergartners come forward] Er... Britney A.

First Name Ashley [1.4a]

 * Spinelli: What's the matter? You got crayons in your ears? Get to the end of the line Randall before I give you the end of my fist!


 * T.J.: We're all Ashleys, too.
 * Ashley A: But, you aren't even girls!
 * Gus: Hey, it's the nineties.


 * Ashley A: By junior high we may be dating some guys named Paul or ... or Joe!


 * T.J.: There are a lot of Ashleys out there, but there's only one Spinelli.

To Finster With Love [1.4b]

 * Finster: [reading out grades] A… A… A… Ah, Randall, my trusted spy. A plus! A… A… A…


 * Finster: F… F… F… Hmm. Randall, my trusted spy. The only kid around here I can count on. Ah, he's done so much for me. Hmm… D minus. F… F… F…


 * Hank the Janitor: Do you hear music?
 * Finster: Whenever I look at you.


 * T.J.: Hey, Ms. Finster?
 * Finster: Yes, Detwiler?
 * T.J.: ...Are those your shoes, or did you mug a clown on the way to school?
 * Finster: Why, you little HOOLIGAN! [Runs after T.J.]
 * T.J.: She's back!

King Gus [1.5a]

 * Gus: [singing] Gus, Gus, O Mighty Gus, king of all the playground, Gus, Gus, O Shiny Gus, we're glad such a great king we found.

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 * Mikey: Madness! Madness!

Big Brother Chad [1.5b]

 * Kindergartener: Vince. We give up to you our two front teeth. Worth 50 cents street value.

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 * Gretchen: Take it from someone who knows. Your brother is definitely a geek.

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 * Chad: Hey Vince! Check it out, I just beat myself at three-dimensional chess.

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 * King Bob: He's nothing but a nerd! I'm so depressed!

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 * Vince: Ooh, I'm quivering in my high-tops!

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 * Chucko: Stay out of this, geekoid, or you're next!

Speedy, We Hardly Knew Ye [1.6b]

 * King Bob: Digging a hole in sixth-grade territory? How dare you! Take them to the dodgeball wall!

I Will Kick No More Forever [1.7a]

 * Vince: [watching an old video of himself] Man, did you see that kick? That was in my prime!
 * Gretchen: Vince, that was 2 weeks ago.

The Kid Came Back [1.7b]

 * [Peanut Butter Kid leaves them with his sandwich]
 * Mikey: This is all we have to remember him by.

The Trial [1.9b]

 * King Bob: [to Randall] You threw a dirt clod during a time out? She was right, you are a worm.

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 * Ashley A: No, no, wait. I say we give her a swirlie. [Spinelli's eyes flush]

Teachers Lounge [1.10a]

 * Principal Prickly: [telling a joke] So then I say to the superintendent, "That's no kindergartener, that's my wife!"

Randall's Reform [1.10b]

 * T.J.: [reading] I did it. Signed, T.J.?
 * Finster: AHA, a confession!

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 * Finster: The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.
 * T.J.: But Miss Finster, you dragged me here!

The Great Can Drive [1.11b]

 * [Ms. Grotke's and Ms. Furley's classes are tug-of-warring over the last can either class needs to win the can drive, which Ms. Eudora Finkelstein is holding very tightly, while Mikey's whistle gets everyone's attention]
 * Mikey: Don't you see what's happening? You're all acting like animals. Can drives aren't about winning or losing; they're about helping people and being generous and sharing our bounty. Who wins and who loses matters not. So let's just put all the cans together and forget about that dumb turkey dinner. What do you say?
 * T.J.: There's only one thing to say. Give me that can!
 * [The tug of war resumes. This time, Ms. Finkelstein breathes heavily, refusing to handle the can any longer. The can slips away from both sides' grasps and rolls all the way to the can pyramid]
 * Mr. Prickly: The pyramid! NOOOOOOOOO!
 * [The can touches the bottom of the pyramid, which begins to topple over]
 * Ms. Finkelstein: Look out, she's gonna blow!
 * [Everyone flees away from the stage to avoid getting splattered by the falling cans of the pyramid, but they get splattered anyway. A broken can of peas rolls to Mikey's feet and Mikey picks it up before telling both classes off]
 * Mikey: Look what you've all done! Now nobody's gonna have a good Thanksgiving!
 * [The rest of the main six and the Ashleys look at each other sadly while Mikey walks off, and hang their heads in shame over what they did]

Kids in the Mist [1.12b]

 * Gretchen: [laughing, then starts choking] I think I might have swallowed my retainer.

Parents' Night [1.13a]

 * Flo Spinelli: You must be B.J. He's the one our little honey bunny has the crush on.
 * Spinelli: Mom!

The Hypnotist [2.1b]

 * [Prickly, hypnotized into thinking he's 6 years old, runs wild through the playground, and pulls Spinelli's hat down over her eyes]
 * Spinelli: ...Did he just do what I think he did?
 * Mikey: Yup.
 * Spinelli: [She screams to show her reaction; she tries to run after Prickly, but gets grabbed by Mikey] LET ME AT 'IM! LET ME AT 'IM!

Mama's Girl [2.2a]

 * T.J.: [shocked as Miss Grotke gives him a C-minus grade on his book report] C-minus?! Hey, no fair, Miss Grotke.
 * Miss Grotke: I'm sorry, T.J., but a roller coaster ride I couldn't put down, is not a book report. It's a cover blurb.
 * T.J.: Oops. [chuckles awkwardly]

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 * Spinelli: Look out, MAMAAAAA!

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 * [As she runs away, Spinelli slows down and looks at the sidewalk; she examines and takes notice at the neon sign that says "Manny Matt's Grill" on the window. As she is still looking, the letters of the sign blew off and began to say what each word says when some letters are blew off.]
 * Spinelli: "Ma, Ma's, Gr ll...?" [closes her eyes and covers her ears, having a frustrated expression on her face; feels the world mocking her, and begins to exclaim a powerful scream to show her reaction] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! [While screaming, she turns around and consumes the camera as the German Sheppard dog still repeatedly shouts, "Mama's girl!" The scene ends with a black screen, in which her throat is already zoomed in, stopping the scream and ending the scene]

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 * Gus: Uh, sorry, guys. I guess this wasn't the best time for me to practice my cursive.

Outcast Ashley [2.2b]

 * [T.J. and friends see Gretchen approaching them in a big box]
 * T.J.: Gretchen, is that you?
 * Gretchen: T.J.? [bumps into the fence]

The Game [2.3a]

 * [Ajimbo has turned everyone into zombies who try to force the game onto T.J.]
 * T.J.: No! I won't give in. I won't let this thing beat me!
 * Mikey: [zombielike] It's no use, T.J. Eventually you will join us.

Gus' Last Stand [2.4a]

 * Gus: Gosh! Who'd have thought? Little Belgium winning over big Germany!
 * Lt. Griswald: Winning? Ha! They got the stuffing kicked out of them!

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 * Gus: I guess I lost the battle, sir.
 * Lt. Griswald: Yes, but it looks like you won the war.

The Challenge [2.5a]

 * Principal Prickly: [shouting] Not only is my reputation as an educator on the line but also my reputation as a man! So get out there and win, I tell you, win! [Kids stare at him] Oh, and have fun.

Wild Child [2.5b]

 * Gretchen: Repeat after me. The rain...
 * Kindergartener: The wain...
 * Gretchen: In Spain...
 * Kindergartener: In Pain...
 * Gretchen: Falls mainly in the moist temperate zone northwest of the Pyranees mountains.
 * Kindergartener: Bloobidy bloo bloo bloo!

The Substitute [2.6a]

 * Mr. E: That information comes at a terrible price. Are you willing to pay it?
 * [Phil shrinks back into his seat]

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 * Gretchen: Mr. E, I hope the fact that the government has quashed my research won't hurt my final grade.
 * Mr. E: It happens, Grundler. Count on an A.

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 * T.J.: Say, Mr. E., there's something that's been bugging me: could you tell me what the E stands for?
 * Mr. E: No.
 * T.J.: You are so cool!

Gretchen and the Secret of Yo [2.6b]

 * Mikey: I just don't get it? Why would the chicken wanna make us think he taste good? Doesn't he know what happens to tasty chickens?

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 * Gretchen: Well, excuse me! For once in my life I'm good at a real sport! A sport with trophies! It's important to me, okay?! More important than any science fair, quiz bowl, or chess tournament I've ever been in! If you guys can't support me, then so-rry!

The Girl Was Trouble [2.7a]

 * Vince: Man, someone must be in big trouble. Finster hasn't canceled recess since Billy Stoler short-sheeted her support hose.
 * T.J.: She was limping for three days.
 * Randall: [as Miss Finster appears; through megaphone] Ten-hut!
 * [The kids all line-up]
 * Miss Finster: This week, we've since a crime wave unparalleled in Third Street history. Someone on this playground is responsible for breaching nearly every rule he hold sacred.
 * Mikey: Even the cannibalism taboo?
 * Miss Finster: Evidence connects a single mastermind with these crimes. One kid who's done it all. Written graffiti, mocking the faculty, de-faced restrooms, stolen food from the cafeteria, and made a complete mess of the mess area! This someone will be going directly to Principal Prickly's office. This someone will receive severe punishment befitting these atrocities. This someone… is Gretchen P. Grundler!
 * [The kids all gasp in shock at Gretchen]
 * T.J.: Miss Finster, Gretchen's the best kid in school!
 * Vince: Yeah, you're making a terrible mistake!
 * Spinelli: Tell her, Gretchen!
 * Gretchen: No, guys, she's right. Take me away, Miss Finster.
 * T.J.: Gretchen, what are you saying?
 * Gretchen: Don't worry yourself over me anymore, T.J. I'm nothing but trouble.
 * [The episode's title appears]
 * Miss Finster: March, young lady!
 * T.J.: Gretchen gone bad? It can't be!
 * Mikey: Down is up, black is white and the Millennium approaches!
 * [Miss Finster escorts Gretchen into the school and to Principal Prickly's office]
 * Gretchen: [narrating] I know what you're asking. How did it happen? How did Gretchen Grundler, straight-A student end up taking the long walk to the principal's office? It's a story as long as a line had gone so old, but without the free refills.
 * Ms. Lemon: [typing her typewriter] We've been expecting you, Grundler. Take a seat, Principal Prickly will be with you in a moment.
 * [Gretchen takes a seat next to Sue Bob Murphy]
 * Sue Bob: Well, well, if it ain't Goody-Two-Shoes Grundler. What'd you do, Grundler, get too many A's?
 * Gretchen: I'm not in the mood, Murphy.

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 * Gretchen: It all started about a week ago on my birthday. [Flashback story beings on her birthday; narrating] It was a great day. My favorite Uncle George gave me the best gift I ever got. A Galileo handheld personal computer. Galileo was a dream come true. A powerful multi-function PC that fit in the palm of my hand. It had sixteen megabytes of RAM, internet access, and cute howdy froggy desktop icons that made computing fun.
 * Galileo: Hey, Gretchen, don't look now but, you've got mail.
 * Vince: Whoa, that thing talks!
 * Galileo: Don't feel threatened, Vince. Computers are only as smart as the humans who programmed them.

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 * Gretchen: [narrating] That's right, I loved a machine. Like a sister or kind uncle. Maybe it's sick, maybe it's twisted. But love it, I did. Then one day, everything changed.

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 * Gus: I looked in Miss Grotke's class.
 * Vince: And I checked the P.E. room. Nothing.
 * Gretchen: This is a nightmare!
 * T.J.: Let's go over this again. You asked the diggers, you talked to the Ashleys, you checked the Lost and Found... [Gretchen's eyes widen open] You did check the Lost and Found, didn't you?
 * [Gretchen gets up from the swing and quickly runs to the Lost and Found]
 * Mikey: I guess that was a no.
 * Gretchen: The Lost and Found box, Menlo. I need to see it, now!
 * Menlo: That's not the way it works. You tell me what you lost, and I'll tell you if it's in the box. Those are the rules.
 * Gretchen: [sighs] One Galileo handheld PC Model G55 serial number 76502.
 * Menlo: Oh yeah, [brings out the box] spiffy little piece of tech. 300 meg chip, voice activated control, cellular email.
 * Gretchen: Yes, yes, that's it, is it in there?
 * Menlo: Nope, I just like asking. I do remember seeing something like that.
 * Gretchen: Where?
 * Menlo: I don't know. My memory's a little hazy.
 * Gretchen: [grabs and pulls him by the collar; sharply] Out with it!
 * Menlo: OK! OK! Just don't hurt me. Yesterday at recess, I was…
 * Gretchen: [narrating] Menlo sang like an old guy in the shower when nobody's home. He told me who had Galileo. It was Greg Skeets, the graffiti kid, guy who couldn't spell "computer," much less use one. Menlo told me where to find him. I don't make it a habit to slum in the Third Street School underworld. But if I wanted Galileo back, I had to hold my nose and plunge in.

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 * Mundy: Wow, you smart kids know some important stuff after all.
 * Gretchen: Now what about your end of the bargain?
 * Mundy: I, uh, traded your thingamajig to Kirsten Kurst for a bite of her pizza.
 * Gretchen: [shocked] You mean, Kurst the Worst? [narrating] Skeets and Mundy were one thing, but Kurst… she was a force of danger.

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 * Gretchen: [enters the cafeteria and finds Kurst in the kitchen, eating all the food from the fridge; fiercely] Kurst! I want my Galileo computer! I know Mundy gave it to you and I want it back!
 * Kurst: That piece of junk? I traded it. You can't eat a copy thingy. Now butt off! I'm about to enjoy an all-I-can-eat buffet, courtesy of Third Street School.
 * Gretchen: But, but-
 * Kurst: You heard me, blow! Go on, dangle!
 * Gretchen: [narrating] Maybe I should've just turned around and walked away. Maybe I should've gone to the authorities and let the system do its job. Maybe I should've done a lot things, but I didn't. Before I knew it hit me, something inside me snapped. [shouting infuriated] KURST!!! I WANT MY GALILEO, AND I WANT IT NOW!
 * Kurst: Oh, you do, do ya? Well, that's too bad, 'cause I handed it over to Señor Pudding!
 * [Krust and Gretchen start throwing food to each other; fade back to the present]
 * Gretchen: I got Kirsten Kurst a couple of times, then she blindsided me with a bowl of tapioca. When I came to my senses, she was gone. I managed to sneak out of there, unseen, but by the time I was done wiping pudding out of my hair, Finster was all over me like a pig on sorbet.
 * Sue Bob: But I don't get it. How'd Finster finger you?
 * Ms. Lemon: It was wasn't so tough, girly. Gretchen here, left a trail of clues a mile wide. "Nefarious" happens to be the word she won last year's spelling bee with. The viscosity of liquid soap was the subject of her blue ribbon science fair project, and finally, here's a tissue, for Pete's sake, you missed a spot of tapioca on your glasses. Oh, you're smart, Grundler, but it's all book and no street. [laughs]
 * Gretchen: [takes off her glasses and wipes the tapioca spot with the tissue] Anyway, I guess you could say I got what's coming to me.

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 * Ms. Lemon: [answers the phone] Yes, sir? I see. [hangs up] Okay, Grundler. He'll see you now.
 * Gretchen: [gets up, then to Sue Bob] Wish me luck. [enters Principal Prickly's office]
 * Principal Prickly: Well, well, Miss Grundler, you're the last person I would've expected to go rotten, but facts speak for themselves. As much as it pains me, I'm afraid I must lower the boom on you.
 * Gretchen: I understand, sir.

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 * Gretchen: [narrating] It was a crazy end to a crazy story. Principal Prickly got so interested in what I was showing him on his computer and forgot about taking away my recess, though I did have to clean up the messes. Still, I got Galileo back, I survived my sore journey through the Underworld. And I’m never going back there again.

Pharaoh Bob [2.8b]

 * King Bob: So shall it be written, so shall it be done.

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 * King Bob: I just wanted to be remembered.
 * Gretchen: I know Bob. But the thing is great leaders aren't remembered for the things they build. They're remembered for the things they do.

The Story of Whomps [2.9a]

 * T.J.: Level 5? Man, this whomps!
 * Principal Prickly: Make that level 6! Ready to push me any further!?!?!

Economics of Recess [2.10a]

 * Gretchen: Everyone either works for you or just stands around and does nothing.
 * T.J.: Good point. Gus, start charging kids for standing around. We'll call it a loitering fee.

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 * T.J.: I don't need anyone! I'm a self-made boy! I'm king of the world!

The Beauty Contest [2.13b]

 * Ashley A.: Like, these are the entry forms for the official kiddie cosmetics “Little Miss Blush” beauty contest.
 * Ashley Q.: Pageants, nature’s way of pointing out perfection.
 * Ashley A.: I’m totally sure an Ashley would take the crown this year. So fill out your entry forms and take them please and dazzle em'...
 * Spinelli: [off screen] Like totally special delivery!

Dodgeball City [3.2a]

 * Mikey: Fiddle on, thoughtless Nero, as your precious empire burns all around you!

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 * Hector: Eventually I stopped calling him Safety Man and started calling him just Gus, but to me, he'll always be... El Diablo!

Lord of the Nerds [3.5b]

 * Store owner: Knarf! Oh, forgive me! I didn't mean to cross a level 42 sword master!
 * Frank: I'll let you go this time, but watch out. The sword of Ganymede now hangs perilously close to your skull.

Tattletale Heart [4.4b]

 * [The episode begins with the gang eating lunch in the cafeteria as Gus drinks his entire carton of chocolate milk]
 * T.J.: [amazed] Wow, Guster, what a set of lungs!
 * Mikey: Yeah, but maybe you shouldn't have finished your milk first. I mean, aren't you gonna need it for your peanut butter sandwich?
 * Gus: I couldn't help myself, guys. I love chocolate milk. Whoever thought that putting candy in milk was a genius. [takes a bite of his sandwich] An evil genius. Be right back.

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 * Spinelli: Oh, man, I got more food on me from cleaning than I did in battle!
 * Gus: Guys, I can put an end to this if I just told on…
 * T.J.: [as he and the others cover his mouth; sternly] Don't say it, Gus.
 * Gus: But you don't understand! It was… [his friends cover his mouth again]
 * T.J.: Gus, I'm serious. Don't say it. That'll make you a tattletale.

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 * Miss Finster: Care for a soda, Randall?
 * Randall: Gee, thanks, Miss Finster. Don't mind if I do.

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 * Miss Finster: Next!
 * Gus: [shouting in protest] YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ME TELL! THERE'S A CODE! AN UNBREAKABLE KID CODE! [covers his mouth]
 * Miss Finster: A code, eh? Well, let's just see if we can't crack it. Forget the alphabets, sonny, you're next!

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 * Randall: [berating Gus as he's taken away] Griswald, you ratted me out! You're a tattletale, you hear me?! A TATTLETALE!!!

The Biggest Trouble Ever [4.7a]

 * Miss Finster: You six are in the biggest trouble ever!

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 * Spinelli: Man, oh, man. My mom and dad didn't take too kindly to the news last night.
 * Gus: Pop says I'm not allowed to have another accident until I'm 30.
 * Mikey: People were crying in the interviews! It was tearing me apart!
 * T.J.: Look, first thing we do when we get to school is knock on Prickly's door, explain our side of the story, and apologize up and down.

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 * Miss Finster: Time to receive your new tools. [holds out a bucket of water and some toothbrushes]
 * Gus: But I already brushed my teeth.
 * Miss Finster: Oh, they're not for your teeth.

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 * [The Recess gang are peeling onions while weeping tearfully due to its reaction]
 * Mikey: [tearfully] It's hard to tell where the onion-crying stops and the loss-of-a-carefree-childhood crying begins.
 * Gretchen: It's going to be okay, Mikey.
 * Vince: What are you talking about, "brains?" We're in the biggest trouble ever!
 * Gretchen: I'm perfectly aware our situation is hopeless, Vince. I was really trying to console Mikey.
 * T.J.: Guys, we got to stay together. The adults are already doing enough to punish us. We shouldn't punish each other.

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 * Miss Finster: Any chance you have a plan for this one, Detweiler?
 * T.J.: No, ma'am, I do not.

Lost Leader [6.3b]
Erwin Lawson: "Aw Man, We lose!"