Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins is a 1985 film about an officially "dead" cop who is trained to become an extraordinarily unique assassin in service of the US president.
 * Directed by Guy Hamilton. Written by Christopher Wood, based on the novel The Destroyer by Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir

Look Out! He's Unarmed and Dangerous! Taglines

Chiun

 * Does a nightingale sing?
 * He move like a baboon, with two clubbed feet!
 * You move like a pregnant yak. Sit.
 * You did not ask to be white. So perhaps that is not your fault. You did not ask to be here. Perhaps that is not your fault, either.
 * Breathe out... slowly... do not gulp. If you do not breathe correctly, you do not move correctly. Pitiful. I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work. We must sweat the poison from your body and rebuild.
 * Do you know why Americans call it 'fast food'? Because it speeds them on their way to their graves.
 * The trained mind does not need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.
 * Professional assassination is the highest form of public service.
 * For an apricot, yes. For a head of lettuce, even more so. But for a mountain I am not even begun in years. However, for a man I am just right.
 * Fear is nothing more than a feeling. You feel hot. You feel hungry. You feel angry. You feel afraid. Fear can never kill you.
 * Purge your mind of fear and believe in yourself. Without that belief, I can do nothing with you.
 * Kung Fu, Karate, Ninjitsu... nothing more than shadows. Sinanju is the sun.
 * I reloaded.
 * (holding broken door handle after surving truck crash) In Korea, door handles do not break.
 * [after having run across a span of water to reach a speedboat that Remo is piloting] You must run very fast.
 * "Place your hands on top of your head." [Kicks Remo in the crotch] "I did not say to keep them there."

Others

 * Conn MacCleary: [to Remo] You're going to be the Eleventh Commandment: 'Thou shalt not get away with it.'
 * Conn MacCleary: [to Remo] Remember, in out, like a duck mating.
 * Gen. Scott Watson: So listen to this, George. Lyman four-putts. Four-putts, mind you. I thought he'd have a stroke. And I'd have claimed it if he had.
 * Harold Smith: Guard, protect and cherish your land, for there is no afterlife for a place that started out as Heaven. Charles M. Russell, Montana, 1926.

Dialogue

 * Conn MacCleary: All I can promise you is terror for breakfast, pressure for lunch, and aggravation for sleep. Your vacations will be two minutes when you're not looking over your shoulder, and if you live to draw a pension, it'll be a miracle.
 * Remo Williams: Are there any disadvantages?
 * Conn MacCleary: Hell, I'm lucky I've lasted this long.


 * Remo Williams: Do you always talk like a Chinese fortune cookie?
 * Chiun: [striking Remo] Chinese! I am Korean! The Korean is the most perfect creature ever to sanctify the earth with the imprint of its foot.


 * [Remo dangles from a car on the Wonder Wheel]
 * Remo Williams: Jesus.
 * Chiun: Concentrate. This is no time for prayer.


 * Chiun: It would be better for you to eat this can than what is inside of it. Why must everything in this country be coated with monositi-... monosoti...
 * Remo Williams: Monosodium glutamate. You can't even say it.
 * Chiun: I can say "rat droppings." That does not mean I wish to eat them.


 * New York City traffic control cop: Excuse me. What are you doin' to that boy?
 * Remo Williams: Oh, uh, unnecessary use of the horn, officer.
 * New York City traffic control cop: Well, I'll make unnecessary use of my nightstick on your thick skull if you don't let him go.
 * Remo Williams: Whatever happened to police courtesy and that kind of stuff, huh?
 * New York City traffic control cop: We save that bullshit for the upper east side.


 * Chiun: Women should stay home and make babies. Preferably, manchild.
 * Major Rayner Fleming: [to Remo] I see you both went to the same charm school.


 * Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, there are times when I really like you.
 * Chiun: Of course. I am Chiun.
 * Remo Williams: And there are times when I could really kill you.
 * Chiun: Good! We will practice that after dinner.


 * Remo Williams: Are you hurt?
 * Chiun: No. When you approach middle age, there is a tendency toward bruising, my son.
 * Remo Williams: What? What did you call me?
 * Chiun: I called you a clumsy oaf! You drive like a monkey in heat!


 * Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, sometimes you're a real pain in the ass.
 * Chiun: That is because it is the shortest route to your brain.
 * Remo Williams: Chiun, you're incredible!
 * Chiun: No!... I am better than that...

Taglines

 * Look out! He's unarmed and dangerous!
 * The Destroyer Movie!
 * A most reluctant hero takes you on an action-adventure armed only with his fists and wits...and with his tongue planted in his cheek.

Cast

 * Fred Ward - Remo Williams
 * Joel Grey - Chiun
 * Wilford Brimley - Harold Smith
 * J.A. Preston - Conn MacCleary
 * George Coe - Gen. Scott Watson
 * Charles Cioffi - George Grove
 * Kate Mulgrew - Maj. Rayner Fleming
 * Patrick Kilpatrick - Stone
 * Michael Pataki - Jim Wilson