Revenge of the Pink Panther

Revenge of the Pink Panther is a 1978 comedy film in which Chief Inspector Clouseau attempts find out who attempted to assassinate him.
 * Directed by Blake Edwards. Written by Frank Waldman, Ron Clark, and Blake Edwards.

Inspector Clouseau is back...and he's a bigger fool than anyone gives him the credits for.taglines

Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau

 * Special delivery: a beumb. Were you expecting one? A BEUMB!? AAAAAHAHOWWWWWW!!!


 * I am not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill transvestite!


 * Ohhhh...Sixteen chests on a dead man's rum/Yo-ho-ho in the bottle of the chest/Drink to the devils and done for the rums/Hoooooooooooooooo!

Philippe Douvier

 * The Great Inspector Clouseau will not be bothering us anymore.

Dialogue

 * Sgt. François Chevalier: Why don't you get out of those wet clothes? You could catch pneumonia.
 * Clouseau: Yes, I know that. I know that. I will do as soon as I get home, provided that idiot Cato does not attack me first.
 * Sgt. François Chevalier: Why don't you just tell him not to?
 * Clouseau: Believe me, it's not that easy. I have given him instructions to attack me wherever and whenever possible, and it has now become a matter of pride with him to try to outsmart me. I guarantee that at this very minute, his fiendish little yellow brain is plotting some new ambush.


 * Simone Le Gree: That's so obvious, he's bound to think it's a trap...
 * Philippe Douvier: Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound to think it can't be a trap.
 * Cato: It's so obvious, it's bound to be a trap.
 * Clouseau: That is why you'll never be a great detective, Cato. It's so obvious that it could not possibly be a trap.
 * Clouseau: That is why you'll never be a great detective, Cato. It's so obvious that it could not possibly be a trap.


 * Police Commissioner: The Chief thinks that you should give the eulogy.
 * Chief Inspector Dreyfus: The what?
 * Police Commissioner: The tribute!
 * Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Me?
 * Police Commissioner: You knew him intimately.
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I hated him intimately!
 * Police Commissioner: But you're the expert who's going to track down his murderers!
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I'm the expert who would dearly love to–– to kiss his murderers, don't you understand?!
 * Police Commissioner: Now, the PR people loved the angle.
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Sacrilege! I won't do it.
 * Police Commissioner: Politics!
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: No. I'm a good Catholic.
 * Police Commissioner: So's the Chief's wife.
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I don't care! [Hesitates] What's she got to do with it?
 * Police Commissioner: She wrote the speech.

Later:
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Ladies and gentlemen… honored guests… dear friends… we are gathered here to say… good-bye… to a… a great man. [suppresses a laugh; feigns tears]. Not only was he a model police officer… a brilliant detective… [coughs] admired and respected… by his fellow officers… and all those who were fortunate enough;–– enough;–– enough to know him… [suppresses a laugh; feigns tears]… he was, above all else… a modest man! [suppresses a laugh; feigns tears]. His kind, will not pass this way again… and our loss… is surely… Heaven's gain! [breaks down in tears of laughter].


 * Clouseau: But these aren't normal times. Cato. Someone just tried to kill me.
 * Cato: That's normal.
 * Clouseau: Ah, but this time, he thinks he had succeeded.


 * Clouseau: Now, this time I'm going to stand on your shoulders!
 * Cato: What good will that do?
 * Clouseau: Because I'm taller than you are, you fool!


 * Clouseau: Who were those two men have tried to kill you last night?
 * Simone Legree: Killers.


 * Simone Le Gree: Now why do you suppose he wanted to have me killed?
 * Clouseau: Elementary. He wanted you dead.


 * Clouseau: You keep talking about this Douvier.
 * Simone Legree: Mm-hmm.
 * Clouseau: But Philippe, who is... who is-who is Philippe?
 * Simone Legree: Philippe Douvier.
 * Clouseau: His son?
 * Simone Legree: Whose son?
 * Clouseau: Douvier.
 * Simone Legree: He has no son.
 * Clouseau: His brother, then?
 * Simone Legree: His brother's name is Fred.
 * Clouseau: Then it has to be his father.
 * Simone Legree: His father's dead.
 * Clouseau: Ah! Now we're getting somewhere. Then who killed him?
 * Simone Legree: No one. He died of natural causes.
 * Clouseau: Then who is this Philippe?


 * Clouseau: Now I see why this building seems so familiar: Chief Inspector Dreyfus lives here! Wake up, Chief Inspector! No good. We must go to Hong Kong without him.
 * Simone Le Gree: What do you mean, We? I can't go to Hong Kong; Douvier would shoot me on sight!
 * Clouseau: Not if he doesn't recognize you.


 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Doctor, please, you must help me. Is Clouseau real, or am I going mad again?
 * Dr. Paul Laprone: What do you think?
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: What do I think? What can I think? If that nincompoop is really alive and the things I heard are true, he'll probably be decorated again for rounding up the biggest drug ring in France, and I'll be a-a laughingstock.
 * Dr. Paul Laprone: That sounds reasonable. What are you going to do?
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: What choice do I have? I either commit myself and come back to be locked up in here...Or... I go to Hong Kong.


 * Clouseau: [Dreyfus shoots at Clouseau] It's me!
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I know!
 * [Dreyfus laughs and starts shooting again]


 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Clouseau?
 * Clouseau: Yes?
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Are you wounded?
 * Clouseau: No. Fortunately I was saved by the darkness.
 * Chief Insp. Dreyfus: So what we need is more light.


 * Simone Legree: Hello, Phillippe.
 * Philippe Douvier: Simone! What're you doing here?
 * Simone Legree: O, nothing; just waiting for the fireworks to go off.
 * Philippe Douvier: What fireworks?
 * Simone Legree: The ones I just stuck into your pants!

Cast

 * Peter Sellers - Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau
 * Dyan Cannon - Simone Legree
 * Herbert Lom - Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus
 * Robert Webber - Philippe Douvier
 * Burt Kwouk - Cato Fong
 * Tony Beckley - Guy Algo
 * Robert Loggia - Al Marchione
 * Paul Stewart - Julio Scallini
 * André Maranne - Sgt. François Chevalier
 * Graham Stark - Prof. Auguste Balls
 * Alfie Bass - Fernet
 * Sue Lloyd - Claude Russo
 * Douglas Wilmer - Police Commissioner
 * Ferdy Mayne - Dr. Paul Laprone
 * Valerie Leon - Tanya
 * Ed Parker - Mr. Chong
 * Adrienne Corri - Therese Douvier
 * Henry McGee - Officer Bardot
 * Andrew Sachs - Hercule Poirot
 * Julian Orchard - Hospital Clerk
 * John Bluthal - Guard at Cemetery
 * Rita Webb - Woman at Window
 * Ragbir Sraan - Arab Sheikh

Taglines

 * Inspector Clouseau is back...and he's a bigger fool than anyone gives him the credits for.


 * Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the movies...


 * Montezuma got his revenge. Now it's the Pink Panther's turn!