Rock Paper Scissors (TV series)

Rock Paper Scissors is an American animated comedy Nickelodeon television series created by Kyle Stegina and Josh Lehrman.

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Pogo Sticks / Car Wash [1.02]

 * Rock: What the heck was that?!
 * Paper & Scissors: [enviously in unison] The Rat Bros.
 * [The trio show up at the Rat Bros' apartment on the fourth floor]
 * Logan the Rat Bro: [answers the door] 'Sup, losers?
 * Rock: Losers?
 * Paper: Come on.
 * Scissors: Man, you're cool.
 * Paper: What is going on in there?!
 * Logan the Rat Bro: Oh, we're doing pogo tricks, brah. We're hosting a super cool pogo party this Sunday. You're welcome to come, except… oh, that's right, you don't have pogo sticks.
 * Rat Bros: Nice, bro! Nice, bro! Nice, bro! Nice, bro!
 * [Brody closes the door on the trio with his pogo stick; back at their apartment]
 * Paper: [frustrated] Ugh! I hate those Rat Bros, yet, I care so much about what they think of me.
 * Scissors: We have to get pogo sticks. If we don't, we won't be cool.

Scissors Gets a Job [1.06]

 * Rock: You made money by faking injuries and suing people? That's terrible.
 * Scissors: Oh, moral Rock. Doesn't like making his money through fraudulent lawsuits.
 * Paper: Broke or not, you still have to pay for your pizza. Maybe it's time you stop being a bum and get a job.
 * Scissors: Oh, judgmental Paper. Calls me a bum just 'cause I fit the definition of one.
 * Paper: Why don't you ever want to find work? Is it because you're not really good at anything?
 * Scissors: Hey!
 * Rock: Yeah, Scissors is good at lot of things, like, uh… sunglasses.
 * Scissors: Forget you, guys. I'll find work when I want to.


 * Paper: [weakly and stuffed] Scissors, did you… [stomach grumbles while he clutches; groans] get a job yet?
 * Rock: [pushes Paper aside, also stuffed] Please say yes.
 * Scissors: Guys, I can't talk right now. I'm hiding out in a chamomile field.
 * Paper: Well, of course you are. Then you leave us no choice. [pulls a giant pizza pie] We're going to eat the most decadent pizza ever created.
 * Rock: No!
 * Paper: The Ultimate Meat Huggers Double Stuffed Deep Dishanator with 50 pounds… of cheese. [Rock starts crying as he eats a slice while Scissors looks confused] It's so… [groans as he clutches his stomach as it grumbles; painfully] good.
 * Rock: [whimpers as Paper eats another slice] Oh, there's pizza underneath the pizza! [he and Paper eat more slices until they fall on their sides and holding their stomachs in pain]
 * Scissors: [gets an idea] Wait. I know what I'm good at! [runs away, dropping his phone]
 * Paper: Oh, Rock, he ran away. We're gonna come find you, Scissors. We just want to have… [his stomach gurgles; groans] …as much fun… Oh, no. …as we're having!
 * Rock: No more pizza! NO MORE PIZZA!!!!!

The Arctic / Prank War [1.07]

 * Paper: Why is it so hot in here?
 * Rock: Scissors crank the heater so he can show off his new tank top.
 * Scissors: Check it out! It's a monster truck with enormous biceps. It's perfect for tough guys like me. I even had them print my motto on the back. "If you want the 'ceps, you do the reps."
 * Paper: You don't do the reps, and why are in a tank top? It's winter. [opens the window blinds, revealing the winter sky and wind] You're gonna overload the heater like this. It can't handle… [the heater suddenly breaks down and the cold temperature breezes into the apartment; sighs in annoyance] Without me, you guys would not survive.


 * Scissors: It'll be fine. We can survive without heat for three days.
 * [The three enter their apartment and shockingly find it all covered in snow and icicles]
 * Paper: Well, we can go stay with my mom.


 * Paper: Well, we're off to a great start. We can't call for help because our phones are frozen. [to Scissors] You won't put on a jacket because you keeping saying you "run hot."
 * Scissors: [shivering] T-t-tough guys like me don't g-get cold.
 * Paper: And Rock is not taking this seriously.


 * Paper: Pranks are mean, and they're hurting our society. Just think what we could accomplish if we stopped tricking people and started helping them. As a man of science, I'd rather spend my time changing the world, curing diseases, and bringing back the rainforest!
 * Scissors: [to Rock] How funny would it be if that wrecking ball hit him right now?


 * Scissors: [to Brody, Brogan, and Dirf while he and his friends are tied up to chairs] Hey, I know we're in a prank war right now, but I just want to say, I really respect you guys. Prank! You're trashed! Ha, ha! We got one, guys. We got one.


 * Paper: Ladies and gentlemen, answer me this: How can the Rat Bros accept the Prank crown if the Rat Bros aren't all on this planet? Yes! Do it, Scissors! Wedgie that Rat Bro into space! Look at me now, Pencil! I'm Issac Newton! I'm Issac Newton! [laughs maniacally, shaking the podium]
 * [Rock, Pencil, the Rat Bros, the audience, and Paper all watch as Scissors is preparing to press the button to fire the rocket into space, with Dirf latched onto it, but Scissors suddenly comes to his senses]
 * Scissors: No. [sets Dirf down]
 * Paper: What?
 * Scissors: No more prank war! [the audience gasps] I just had a huge revelation. Pranks are mean, and they're hurting our society.
 * Paper: Wait, that's what I said.
 * Scissors: Just think what we could accomplish if we stopped tricking people and started helping them.
 * Paper: Is he doing my speech?
 * Scissors: As a man of science, I'd rather spend my time changing the world, curing diseases, and bringing back the rainforest.
 * [The audience clap and cheer, and the Rat Bros whistle]
 * Rock: Whoo!


 * Logan the Rat Bro: Good job, son. [he and Scissors hug as Scissors sheds tears of happiness]

The Other Rock Paper Scissors / The Astonishing Catalina [1.09]

 * Scissors: You're the coolest person I know!
 * Catalina: That's how I feel about you!

Holiday Picture / Scrubs [1.11]

 * Paper: Why can't we take a good holiday picture? Every year, something goes wrong. There was that year Rock's head got stuck in a honey jar, the year we had broccoli in our teeth, the year we were all 8-bit, the year Scissors went super saiyan.
 * Scissors: That year was awesome!
 * Paper: And the year Rock was dressed up as some old cartoon character.
 * [The last photo shows Rock dressed up as Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life]
 * Rock: You didn't enjoy "Rocko Paper Scissors?"
 * Paper: It was okay.
 * Scissors: I like that show. The main guy was always like… [impersonating Rocko] "Hey, mate. I'm Rocko, and I have a dog named Spunky." [chuckles; normally] Or something like that. I don't do a very good impression.


 * Scissors: So, we're just not gonna talk about Paper's clothes?
 * Paper: Whatever do you mean?
 * Rock: Guys, let's be peaceful.
 * Scissors: I mean, you're wearing scrubs. You are not a doctor, and yet, you are wearing the clothes a doctor wears.
 * Paper: Oh, is that what these are? I thought they were pajamas.
 * Scissors: And the stethoscope?
 * Paper: I thought it was a necklace.
 * Scissors: Yeah? You wear necklaces now?
 * Rock: Scissors, take a breath.
 * Scissors: This is insane! He's so desperate for respect, he put on scrubs so people think he's a doctor. Well, no one's buying it, Paper!
 * Kid: Wow, a real live hero! [offering Paper to get his autograph] How can I be a doctor one day?
 * Paper: [signing his autograph] I'll say this, it's more than just putting on the clothes.
 * Scissors: That's literally all he did!

Bowling / The Character Quiz [1.12]

 * Scissors: Oh, native Rock. Always trying to help. Don't you know how life works? You don't win by helping. You win by taking advantage, and exploiting their deals to be all… their… worst! [laughs maniacally with some lightning bolts flashing in front of him while thunder is heard] Man. These deals make me a maniac.


 * Logan the Rat Bro: [enters Apartment 3A] I heard you guys got Stephernie. I got Stephernie!
 * Brody the Rat Bro: I got Fire Hydrant.
 * Lou: [sliding in] I got Dave!
 * Scissors: Sure.
 * Logan the Rat Bro: I see that.
 * Paper: Me too.
 * Rock: How? How do you see that?
 * Logan the Rat Bro: Hey, some Stephernies and I are having a party to watch the 1,000th episode. Now that we're all Stephernies, I'm gonna put aside our differences. You want to come?

Potato / The Fart Joke Debate [1.13]

 * Potato: I don't even know how I got here.

National Paper Day / Helping with the Groceries [1.17]

 * Paper: [stretching himself] All right, Paper, you haven't exercised in three years. Time to run a marathon! [exits the apartment; surprised by seeing everyone celebrating and watching a parade led by Rock]
 * Rock: Happy International Rock Day!
 * Paper: International Rock Day? That's not a real holiday.
 * Rock: Sure, it is. Every July 13th, we throw rock beads. We hit rock piñatas. And we just generally rock out, especially Scissors.
 * [Scissors is leading a marching band]
 * Scissors: Whoo-hoo! I love this parade energy! Let's keep the party going!


 * [Rock and Paper enter the apartment, carrying a bunch of groceries]
 * Paper: Scissors, can you help us bring in the groceries?
 * Scissors: [sitting on the sofa, holding a sandwich] I would, but my hands are full.
 * Rock: Well, just put it down.
 * Scissors: [now holding a lamp] Now I have another thing.
 * Paper: Scissors!
 * [Scissors whistles while holding a sandwich, a lamp, and three bowling balls]
 * Rock: Scissors, come on! Can you just help us one time?


 * [Footage shows Young Scissors at school, running down the hallway, and accidentally rips his pants before picking up a piece of paper, showing his underwear]
 * Young Scissors: Oh, no! I ripped my pants at school! [gets attacked by a Pterodactyl that swooped in]

Diapers / R.O.V.E.R. [1.19]

 * [The trio are sitting at a table at the Le Fancy Restaurant]
 * Paper: Scissors, why did you bring us here? This place is awful.
 * Scissors: Because it's the hottest spot in town. I've got to be seen here to maintain my cool reputation.
 * Paper: You don't have a cool reputation.

Trash [1.20]

 * Paper: [sniffs an unpleasant smell] What is that smell?
 * Scissors: [looks at the garbage with some flies buzzing around] I think it's Rock.
 * Paper: Scissors, you still haven't taken out the trash?
 * Scissors: [waving his hand; dismissively] Yeah, yeah. I'll get to it.
 * Paper: No, do it now.
 * Scissors: I'll do it really soon.

Cast

 * Ron Funches – Rock
 * Thomas Lennon – Paper
 * Carlos Alazraqui – Scissors
 * Melissa Villaseñor – Pencil
 * Eddie Pepitone – Lou Zer
 * Ray Chase – The Rat Bros (Logan, Brody, Brogan, and Dirf)
 * Lauren Ash – Sandpaper
 * Betsy Sodaro – Potato
 * Diedrich Bader – Chad Brockchad