Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a 1964 film in which Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents. It is considered one of the worst films ever made.
 * Directed by Nicholas Webster. Written by Paul L. Jacobson and Glenville Mareth.

Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids! taglines

Santa Claus

 * Well, when Voldar "accidentally" left us in the airlock and then came up here and "accidentally" threw the door switch, we knew we had to get out of there in a hurry or that would be the end of us. Eh, uh, "accidentally," of course.
 * [after being asked if he is going to use a rocket sleigh] No siree! We're going out the good ol' fashioned way. Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon... oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names.

Voldar

 * All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit!
 * If we take them with us to Mars, Santa's disappearance will remain a mystery. No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians.

Billy

 * You'll never get away with this, you Martian!

Other

 * TV News Announcer: Here's another UFO Bulletin: The Defense Department has just announced that the unidentified flying object suddenly disappeared from our radar screen. They believe the object has either disintegrated in space, or it may be a space ship from another planet which has the ability to nullify all radar beams.
 * TV News Announcer: [News report after Santa's disappearance] And Mrs. Claus has positively identified the kidnappers as Martians.

Dialogue

 * Kimar: Dropo, you are the laziest man on Mars. Why are you sleeping during working hours?
 * Dropo: I wasn't sleeping, chief. It's just that I haven't been able to sleep these last few months. I forgot how. So I was just practicing.


 * Betty: What are those funny things sticking out of your head?
 * Rigna: Those are our antennae.
 * Betty: Are you a television set?


 * Hargo: What's soft and round and you put it on a stick and you toast it in a fire, and it's green?
 * Kimar: I don't know what?
 * Hargo: A Martian mellow.


 * Andy Henderson: What is this strange looking creature over here?
 * Santa Claus: Oh, Winky made that. That's his idea of a Martian.
 * Andy Henderson: A Martian? Wow-wee-wow! I'd hate to meet a creature like that on a dark night.


 * Kimar: Santa, you will never return to Earth, you belong to Mars now.
 * Santa Claus: Ho Ho, Hooo...


 * Kimar: How are you feeling today? Tired?
 * Santa Claus: Oh, no, I'm not tired. But my finger is.

Taglines

 * Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids!
 * Science-Fun-Fiction at its height!
 * Santa Kidnapped by the Martians! Out-of-this-world fun 'n' action...as two Earth Kids are whisked away with him to Mars!
 * In space-blazing COLOR
 * Santa Brings Christmas Fun to Mars!

Cast

 * John Call - Santa Claus
 * Leonard Hicks - Kimar
 * Vincent Beck - Voldar
 * Bill McCutcheon - Dropo
 * Victor Stiles - Billy
 * Donna Conforti - Betty
 * Chris Month - Bomar
 * Pia Zadora - Girmar
 * Leila Martin - Momar
 * Charles Renn - Hargo
 * James Cahill - Rigna
 * Ned Wertimer - Andy Anderson
 * Doris Rich - Mrs. Claus
 * Carl Don - Chochem / Von Green
 * Ivor Bodin - Winky