Sayonara Zetsubō Sensei

Sayonara, Zetsubō Sensei (English: So Long, Mr. Despair) is a Japanese 2007 television comedic anime based on the manga of the same name. The story is about suicidal high school teacher Nozomu Itoshiki and his students, most of whom display a variety of extreme personality quirks.

Episode 1
(In the beaming spring day, Kafuka stopped Nozomu from suicide forcibly)
 * Nozomu: What if I had died!?
 * Kafuka: Eh?
 * Nozomu: Oh?
 * Nozomu: Once again, I didn't die... Why did you stop me?
 * Kafuka: You just said "What if I had died?"
 * Nozomu: I am a man whose life is worth nothing.
 * Kafuka: You didn't intend to die, right?
 * Nozomu: What are you talking about!? I was fully prepared to die!
 * Kafuka: Of course not!

(Nozomu despairs of a world which solves everything with money)
 * Nozomu: I'm in despair! This money-grubbing world has left me in despair!

Caption
 * A "man" who can only see things in a negative light.
 * A "girl" who can only see things in a positive light.
 * A meeting that was never meant to happen.

(Nozomu is introducing himself to his students. Nozomu says that the stroke number of his name is unlucky)
 * Kafuka: Since stroke number is a Japanese thing, writing your name horizontally would eliminate the problem.
 * Nozomu: Horizontally... W-Wait a second! Anything but that!
 * (When his name 糸色望 is written horizontally, it resembles "DESPAIR" 絶望 in Kanji)
 * Kafuka: Mr. Despair!
 * Nozomu: Don't squeeze them together!

Episode 2
(Nozomu is telling a stalker student that true deep love is commiting suicide together)
 * Nozomu: The meaning of love is found through death!
 * Matoi: Oh...
 * Nozomu: If you truly love each other, then die together. Red lead, sleeping pills, and a will, along with other items. This is my travel kit, which I always carry on me. I'll leave it here.
 * Matoi: (The ultimate form of love... You love one another so much that you wish to die together?)
 * Nozomu: Tsunetsuki-san. If you'd like, I'll die with you whenever you want. Then bon voyage.
 * Matoi: (That was a confession of love)

(An accident in the infirmary, a massive misunderstanding, and more girl trouble for Nozomu...)
 * Chiri: As a man and a woman, now that it's come to this, we have no choice. Please do a proper job of it.
 * Nozomu: A proper job?
 * Chiri: Properly register me as a family member! Properly meet with my parents!

Episode 4
(Nozomu is communicating with a shy student who can only talk through e-mail)
 * Nozomu: "Hello." Send.
 * Meru: Mail. Mail. Mail. Mail. Mail. Mail.
 * Piroriparopirirora (onomatopoeia of Meru's mail)
 * Nozomu: Looks like I got a reply. Let's see. Uh...
 * "Moron You're annoying Don't wear it creepy-looking kimono"
 * Nozomu: Wha- There must be some kind of mistake, right?
 * Meru: Mail. Mail.
 * Piroriparopirirora
 * "Me Right here The person in front you. Damn four-eyes."
 * Nozomu: She's abusive in her e-mails!? People like you badmouth me on the Internet! But then they behave properly in person, so I can't get mad at them! You no longer get preferential treatment!
 * I'm in despair! The Internet has left me in despair!

(Meru's abusive e-mails sweep through the class)
 * "You're just a panty shot character Show your panties already Flash"
 * Kaere: I'll sue!

(Kafuka is sending messages somewhere)
 * Kafuka: This is Earth, this is Earth. Is everyone doing well?
 * Really? Planet Pororoca is currently experiencing a spring that comes once every fourteen years.
 * The fields are covered with next life grass and raw meat flowers for a year,
 * shaky grasshoppers and dream-colored stink bugs and dark scarabs have gathered for an insect conference!
 * Nozomu: Where are your messages being sent!?

Episode 10
(Chiri is delivering a gag)
 * Chiri: This is where the contest parts.

Episode 1

 * Chiri: You're probably surprised. This class is full of troublemakers with a teacher like that. But I'm relieved that you're normal.
 * Nami: Normal!?
 * Normal, normal, normal... Normal is never meant in a good way!

Episode 2

 * Kafuka: Everybody in this class belongs to Sensei, so you have no chance.
 * Nozomu: Don't make me sound like a bad person!

Episode 7
(Zetsubou sensei drawing song)
 * Jun: Zetsubou sensei drawing song, let's begin!
 * Chiri: Let's sing along and draw properly.
 * A tulip has fallen sideways due to the wind
 * Lightning Flash!
 * Rain pours down
 * The rain leaks through the cracks and makes two round puddles
 * Let's go fishing, it's a fishing hook
 * We made some dried fish with what we caught
 * It's Zetsubou sensei!
 * Jun: Did you all draw well?
 * Jun & Chiri: Bye bye!

Episode 23
Taro Aso- Apparently a politician