Slackers (film)

Slackers is a 2002 film about a nerdy college student who blackmails a group of young men with his knowledge that they have cheated throughout college, and uses it to get closer to a young woman he is obsessed with.
 * Directed by Dewey Nicks. Written by David H. Steinberg.

Higher Education Just Hit A New Low.

Ethan Dulles

 * You're smart. I like you. I'll probably give you a nickname.


 * I had a nickname for you! And now I'm not gonna tell you. Okay......... It was Laser.


 * No one calls me a retard, you FREAKIN' HOBO!!!!


 * You're going down!


 * You are so awesome, your room is so awesome, your phone is kick-ass, and you know what? I love you.

Sam Schecter

 * You know what, boys? Why don't you just let me take care of it. You treat a hot girl like dirt, and she'll stick to you like mud.

Jeff Davis

 * We have been getting screwed by the system. The system that forces us guys to like girls. All right? We're getting pushed into this. What if we just take the girls out of it? We can have our own system, it's a counter-system. And then, you do things together, you swim, you row, you... boat, you eat, you stink. We can just be guys! You can have sex, you can do it, you know, many guys at a time, but it's not gay.

Dialogue

 * Dave: I brought you coffee.
 * Ethan: I don't touch that stuff.
 * Dave: Can I come in?
 * Ethan: No. No one comes into Ethan's room. Ethan's rules.
 * Dave: What's that smell?
 * Ethan: Maybe it's the smell of your ass getting kicked out of school.


 * Jeff: Yoo-hoo, it's Steve Pasternack, looking for Angela! Angela, please!
 * Reanna: Do I fucking know you?
 * Jeff: Uh, I lent Angela my notebook, because I take such world "famous" notes. So I was wondering if I could... are you busy with something?
 * Reanna: Yeah. I was masturbating.
 * Jeff: Heh. Hoo! Masturbating. In the dorms. Well, that's what you get when you go to art school.


 * 'Mr. Leonard: Good afternoon, Mr. Dulles.
 * Dave: Call me Jack.
 * Mr. Leonard: But is says here your first name is Ethan?
 * Dave: Nah, just call me Jack.
 * Mr. Leonard: All right, Jack. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
 * Dave: Hmmm, I'd have to say... slave to the freaky ass booty.
 * Mr. Leonard: That's more than one word.


 * Ethan: Angela? Weird!
 * Angela: Ethan? What are you doing here?
 * Ethan: Well, I'm in the food service industry, and I like bums, so it's kinda my duty.


 * Angela: Is this a hair doll?
 * Ethan: I didn't make that. It fell out of your hair that way and I want it back.
 * Angela: It fell out this way? I don't think so.


 * Reanna: Remember what I always say, show the boobs and work the ass.
 * Angela: I have no boobs.
 * Reanna: You're right, well just work the ass.


 * Ethan: He's in my seat.
 * Head T.A. Philip: Yeah... and we're grown-ups. We don't argue over seats. Now go sit over there. There are plenty of empty seats there.


 * Angela: I'm really happy that we got this cleared up because the guy that I like is your friend Dave.
 * Ethan: Dave?
 * Angela: Yeah!
 * Ethan: Fudge!


 * Angela: You are a child and you are manipulative and even worse... you're a whore.
 * Dave: I am not a whore.
 * Dave: [talking to himself] A whore? How am I a whore? FUCK! How am I a whore?
 * Dave: [talking to himself] A whore? How am I a whore? FUCK! How am I a whore?


 * Dave: It was my fate to meet her.
 * Jeff: But it wasn't your fate to be with her. Unfortunately, my friend, fate has a different plan for you. You will grow up, go out into the world. You'll forget all about the things that happened here. Ethan, Angela... the shit we pulled. Those hookers that we thought were girls. And you're going to go out there and no-one - no-one can shoot you down because a woman one time stepped on your heart and left a scar in its wake. That is your fate, Dave. Just as it is my fate to some day become shogun.

Cast

 * Jason Schwartzman - "Cool" Ethan Dulles
 * Devon Sawa - Dave Goodman
 * Jason Segel - Sam Schecter
 * Michael Maronna - Jeff Davis
 * Jaime King - Angela Patton
 * Laura Prepon - Reanna Cass
 * Jim Rash - Head T.A. Philip
 * Retta - Bruna Jackson
 * Leigh Taylor-Young - Valerie Patton, Angela's Mom
 * Sam Anderson - Charles Patton, Angela's Dad
 * Joe Flaherty - Mr.DON Leonard
 * Mamie Van Doren - Mrs. Helen Von Graaf