SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12

SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.

FarmerBob [12.1a]

 * Aliens: Thank you kindly for inviting us, old timer. Well, we're off to destroy the universe. Yee-haw!
 * Old Man Jenkins: Y'all come back and invade any time.
 * SpongeBob: Annihilate safely.

Gary & Spot [12.1b]

 * Sandy: Whoo-whee! Looks like Gary is cooking up some fun.
 * [Gary pushes the plateful of food on the window and rings the bell. The food falls onto Spot and Gary jumps out. Gary and Spot then go to eat their meal.]
 * Sandy: It may not be pretty, but to a critter, chow is chow.
 * [Gary and Spot both eat all of the food until there's nothing left. Then they go to play around, leaving the Krusty Krab a big mess. At the very same moment, Marvin drives by, looking for Gary.]
 * Marvin: Come out, come out. [gasps as he hears Gary in the Krusty Krab] Oh, there you are. [bursts through the front door and Gary and Spot stop playing; he slips on the floor, but gets up] Ha ha! I've got you this time. [slips on the Krabby Patty and falls on his face]
 * [Gary and Spot quickly run off to escape the animal control officer. Just then, Mr. Krabs comes in and is not very happy.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Ahem.
 * Marvin: [holds up his license, but is covered in tomato goo] Animal control, citizen. I'm hunting an errant snail.
 * Mr. Krabs: I don't give a sea fig about snails! You tripped me silent alarm! [points to an alarm bell with a mime face on it while making a faint tapping noise] Just look at this mess! [attacks Marvin with his claws] Take that, you varmint! [continues attacking Marvin] Take that!
 * Marvin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
 * [Gary and Spot escape the Krusty Krab while Mr. Krabs continues to attack Marvin.]

The Nitwitting [12.2a]

 * Patrick: Okay, thanks, buddy. I'm going to my club meeting now.
 * SpongeBob: What's your club, hmm?
 * Patrick: Uh, it's the Empty Head Society. It's a place where guys like me can give their [reading off a card] "powerful intellects" a much-needed rest.

The Ballad of Filthy Muck [12.2b]

 * Old Man Jenkins: Boo! I can't smell, but you two stink!

The Krusty Slammer [12.3a]

 * Mr. Krabs: Vandalism is a crime too, you’ve been caught red handed


 * Prisoners: Morning, Warden Krabs!
 * Mr. Krabs: Morning, prisoners! [gasps in horror as he sees the prisoners back in their cells] SpongeBob! What is going on here? I set all these criminals free last night! What are they doing back in their cells?!
 * SpongeBob: Uh, Mr. Krabs, now's probably not the best time to— [Too late. The police woman had overheard everything Mr. Krabs said about releasing the prisoners the previous night, as he shrinks back in fear. She is seen sitting at a table eating her Krabby Patty.]
 * Lady officer: You know it's a crime to release prisoners early, don't ya? [eats her patty and approaches Mr. Krabs who realizes his error] You're going to prison, [handcuffs Mr. Krabs] criminal.
 * Mr. Krabs: What? Oh, well, that's not so bad. Pencil me in for a 3:30 massage, SpongeBob.
 * Lady officer: [takes Mr. Krabs away] Oh, you're not staying here. The Krusty Krab is full. We got a new prison just for you.
 * Mr. Krabs: [sadly] Oh no. Let me guess... [The scene changes to the Chum Bucket where Mr. Krabs is wearing his prison outfit and is placed in the same birdcage he used for Plankton. Mr. Krabs groans sadly.]
 * Plankton: Mealtime, prisoner! [laughs while throwing spoonfuls of raw chum in Mr. Krabs' face in an act of revenge for the all the painful torture he endured; Mr. Krabs cries in an agonizing defeat right before Plankton throws some chum into his mouth] Right in the mouth.

Pineapple RV [12.3b]

 * Squidward: SpongeBob, why is your house... [yelling] Driving on the road!
 * Patrick: Because we turned it into a RV.
 * SpongeBob: We don't want you to miss that flower blooming.

Gary's Got Legs [12.4a]

 * [Mr. Krabs knocks on the front door to SpongeBob's house.]
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Are you okay in there? You catch the flu or something? Ugh. Are you at death's door? Because you know darn well they ain't valid excuses to miss work! [peeks through the window and finds to his shocking surprise that SpongeBob is slithering on the floor with his tongue like a snail; SpongeBob eats some food from Gary's food bowl] Ah! SpongeBob has gone full raving loony. [hears something] Uh-oh! [hides underground as Gary appears]
 * Gary: ♪Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow. Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow.♪ [enters the house]
 * [Mr. Krabs peeks through the window again. He sees SpongeBob rubbing his head against the chair while Gary's reading the paper. Gary pets SpongeBob and holds out a snail toy for him to play. SpongeBob plays the toy with his eye. Mr. Krabs gasps and drills himself inside through the floor.]
 * Gary: Meow?
 * Mr. Krabs: What in the name of Neptune's nostrils is going on in here?! SpongeBob, you're acting like you're the pet and that darn snail is the owner!
 * Gary: [hits Mr. Krabs with the toy] Meow! Meow—meow—meow.
 * Mr. Krabs: [grabs the toy] Bad snail! Down boy! [gets attacked by SpongeBob] SpongeBob, what are you— [gets licked and pummeled by SpongeBob until he pushes him off and shakes him violently] Oh, snap out of it, SpongeBob!
 * [SpongeBob doesn't respond. Mr. Krabs pulls out a Krabby Patty, breaks it in half and puts it under SpongeBob's nose. SpongeBob smells the patty's scent and shakes himself back to normal, snapping himself out of the strange trance.]
 * SpongeBob: [dazed] Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: Have you completely lost your mind, boy-o? Snails ain't supposed to have arms and legs.
 * SpongeBob: Aww, but Gary is so happy with his new limbs.
 * [Gary files his new arms.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, is he? Well, it's time to cut this nonsense! [growls and goes to fight Gary] Ay! [growls at Gary viciously] Huh-hah! [leaps over to Gary and cuts the arms and legs, returning Gary back to his normal self]
 * Gary: [sniffs the severed limbs] Meow. [slithers over to his food bowl, removes SpongeBob's name and goes to eat his food]

King Plankton [12.4b]

 * SpongeBob: Welcome, sea chimps. I'm SpongeBob, your owner.
 * Sea chimp king: Forget it, man. We're through with owners, and kings, and aquariums. Whoa! Now that looks like a swell place to live.
 * [All the sea chimps run into the Chum Bucket. Karen comes out with banana peels all over her monitor.]
 * Karen: [screams] Plankton! Abandon bucket!
 * Plankton: Well, that's a write off. [takes out a remote and pushes a button]
 * [The button activates the Chum Bucket's hand. The hand picks up the restaurant and spins it around and around. The hand throws the restaurant out into the distance with the sea chimps still inside.]
 * SpongeBob: Bye, sea chimps! Have a good flight! It was so nice of you to help relocate the sea chimps, Plankton. You rule!
 * Plankton: Not today, SpongeBob. Not today. [takes out his crown] But... someday! [puts it on and cackles evilly before Patrick swallows him and burps out the crown, as the episode transitions out]

Plankton's Old Chum [12.5a]

 * Plankton: [comes out of the Chum Bucket and sees rotten chum snowing down] What has that yellow idiot done?! [becomes surrounded by an angry mob]
 * Man #1: Our homes have been ruined by you and your stinking chum!
 * Woman: Your chum ruined my hair!
 * Patrick: Your chum made me dumb!
 * Man #2: You were already dumb.
 * Patrick: Well, it didn't make me any smarter!
 * Kid #1: Get him!
 * Angry mob: Yeah! [they grab Plankton and prepare to beat him up]

Stormy Weather [12.5b]

 * Gale Doppler: I'm in the middle of a severe thunderstorm— [gets hit by a stop sign] And we're bringing it to you li—
 * [Drizzle blows the microphone into his cloud body. Drizzle zaps Gale and flies right in his mouth and into his body. Gale is lifted in the air and he coughs up the microphone.]
 * Gale Doppler: I'm Gale Doppler, and I actually am the weather! [laughs, but thunder rumbles in his body and rain falls; it appears that Drizzle is now taking control of Gale's body and is making him do what he what him to do] Huh? Uh-oh.
 * SpongeBob: Uh-oh. [pulls his right leg and makes an umbrella]
 * [Drizzle floats Gale back into town and makes him blow wind everywhere. Drizzle then makes Gale's body freeze.]
 * Gale Doppler: [shivering] My body is cold! [Drizzle makes Gale create a blanket of snow over the town] I don't want to be the weather anymore. It hurts! [Drizzle produces thunder and lightning in Gale's body, making him wail in pain]
 * SpongeBob: [comes out through the roof of one of the buildings] Excuse me, Drizzle. I don't mean to parade on your rain, but could you please put Gale down? [a gust of wind blows him into the sky] Whoa!

Swamp Mates [12.6a]

 * Bubble Bass: [walks up the stairs and hears knocking, then opening the door to reveal Patrick at the entrance] Huh?!
 * Patrick: Hey buddy! Ready for our playdate?! [squeezes Bubble Bass into a tight hug]
 * Bubble Bass: [slaps Patrick and picks him up to scold him] I will not associate with such a dimwitted doofus.
 * Patrick: [flattered] Aw, you're just saying that!

One Trick Sponge [12.6b]

 * SpongeBob: [sighs as he walks into a kelp forest] Why won't anyone watch my trick?! [falls onto the ground while the word "trick" flies into the air, causing the leaves on the kelp trees to fall down onto SpongeBob] [SpongeBob gets up, covered with leaves. He slightly pulls his kelp mustache, and then sees two pieces of wood and a rock. A lightbulb appears on top of SpongeBob] Hey, that gives me an idea! [scene cuts to SpongeBob putting the final touches on his rock people] There. Good evening, folks, I am the Great Spongedini! Now watch closely, [reveals his cards] the hand is quicker than the eye. Pick a card. Any card. [SpongeBob inhales all the magic playing cards into his mouth, and then starts his magic trick.]
 * [The magic trick starts when the kelp forest turns into a white screen as SpongeBob turns into magic playing cards, which then transform into a buzzsaw and cut a copy of SpongeBob in-half, and then a rainbow appears. Then ten cut in half/rainbow-colored SpongeBobs, two green, two yellow, two pink, two red, and two blue, each holding one magic playing card start running out as the rainbow disappears. Then, two other SpongeBobs, one on the bottom of the screen, and the other on top of the screen being upside down, start leading a bunch of card people from the top, and the bottom of the screen. Then, two other card people start going over and under each other five times, becoming SpongeBob, and back to a playing card. Then the camera zooms out to see lots of card people on the screen, which then fade to SpongeBob. wearing a magician's outfit, a magic hat on top of his head, and a magic wand for a nose, which automatically makes some flowers come out of it, The Great Spongedini then takes the magic wand out of his nose and turns it into three metal rings, that are linked to each other. Then, The Great Spongedini puts himself through the rings, and then, the rings transform into a cannon that shoots out three colorful fireworks. One pink, one yellow, and one blue. Then, The Great Spongedini appears on the screen again, and then notices a red ribbon stuck through his left sleeve.]
 * The Great Spongedini: Huh? [The Great Spongedini pulls the ribbon out of his left sleeve, but then reveals a red, blue, pink, green, and orange ribbon that covers the whole screen. Then the scene becomes spirally and gets put into a magic hat. Then, the white screen turns back to the kelp forest and SpongeBob pulls himself out of the magic hat in a pink bunny suit, ending his magic trick.]
 * SpongeBob: Ta-dah! [notices that the audience he made was fake and didn't respond to his magic trick.] Oh... I still wish Patrick was here to see it. [then he notices Patrick sitting on a mushroom, hanging onto another mushroom]
 * Patrick: [off-screen] I saw it, SpongeBob! [on-screen] It was astonishable! [Patrick falls of the mushroom and falls flat onto the ground, and pulls himself off the ground]
 * SpongeBob: [hugging Patrick] Oh, Patrick! You showed up just in time! What was your favorite part?
 * Patrick: Uh... My favorite part was... uh..."Ta-dah!" I missed everything before that.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, then you haven't seen seen anything yet! [he grabs a hold of Patrick's hand. The two spin around and then they disappear into a magic hat. Some confetti and a card come out of the hat as the two laugh. Fireworks also start coming out of the hat, while the rock creatures stand inanimate]

The Krusty Bucket [12.7a]

 * Plankton: Hee-hee-hee! You married a genius, Karen. Using the DNA of Krabs' hair and my own DNA from my antennae— [his right antenna gets snipped off by Karen] Ouch! [his antenna is placed in the machine] I will create a combo-clone of me and Krabs to finally steal the secret formula! [pulls up the lever and cackles]
 * [The machine turns itself on and fuses the hair sample and antenna sample together. The cloning machine turns on and creates a single being with Mr. Krabs' and Plankton's DNA together. The being turns into a blob and the machine turns off.]
 * Plankton: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Behold PlanKrab! [The machine opens the door and the being steps out]
 * PlanKrab: Heh-heh-heh.
 * [The smoke clears to reveal the being. It appears to be a clone with Mr. Krabs' body and Plankton's head.]
 * PlanKrab: Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr!
 * Karen: How is this a good thing?
 * Plankton: Wake up, Karen! The Plankton side will know everything the Krabs side knows! It'll be easier than taking candy from a baby.
 * Karen: Mm, and we know how successful that was. [turns on the screen to show Plankton trying to steal a lollipop from a baby, but ends up getting sucked on]
 * Plankton: This is different! Isn't it, PlanKrab, my pretty? Now, here's my plan.
 * PlanKrab: Don't waste your breath, Plankteron. I already mapped out the perfect plot to swipe that formuler-ererer! [gives Plankton a high-five before leaving for the Krusty Krab]
 * Plankton: Great! See you soon, P.K.! [sighs] I love that guy. Well, half of him anyway. [laughs until he coughs] Still got a hair in there.

Squid's on a Bus [12.7b]

 * Squidward: SpongeBob, what is your stop, so I can take you there right now?!
 * SpongeBob: [steps on other people's heads while heading to the driver seat] Oh, I don't have a stop. Today is my bus riding day, the day I just pick a bus and ride it all day. [lays on Squidward's head]
 * Squidward: There's only one thing I can think of that could be worse. [screams as he sees Patrick waving at a bus stop] Augh! And that's it! [drives the bus to pass Patrick, which makes him drill himself into the sand] Phew. I dodged that one. Heh-heh. [sees Patrick at another bus stop; he turns the wheel and flips the bus over Patrick; he continues to drive] Phew. That was close.
 * Patrick: [appears next to Squidward] It sure was. I almost didn't catch this bus.
 * [Squidward is completely overwhelmed and turns his head in anger.]
 * SpongeBob: Eeeee... Patrick! Wow! We're both on the same bus on our Just Riding Around On The Bus Day! What are the odds?
 * [Squidward's eyes spin like a slot machine. His eyes stop with a laughing SpongeBob and Patrick on them.]
 * Squidward: Yes, what are the odds?

Sandy's Nutty Nieces [12.8a]

 * Sandy: I tried to tell ya the first rule of babysitting my nieces.
 * SpongeBob: What's that?
 * Sandy: Don't babysit my nieces!

Insecurity Guards [12.8b]

 * [The scene changes to the police lady arresting Squidward for breaking into the museum and vandalizing artwork. SpongeBob hangs up Squidward's painting on the wall.]
 * Squidward: Hmm?
 * SpongeBob: There! Back where you belong. [leaves]
 * Squidward: [mumbles] It's beautiful!
 * Lady officer: You actually like that eyesore?
 * Squidward: Why, it's the greatest painting I've ever seen... hanging in the museum! [laughs like a crazed maniac]
 * Lady officer: [creeped out by Squidward's crazed laughter] Okay, that's enough, weirdo. [takes Squidward away so she can turn him in for his crimes]
 * [Squidward's painting comes to life as its frown turns into a smile, thus ending the episode.]

Broken Alarm [12.9a]

 * [As SpongeBob actually makes it to the Krusty Krab on time as he is sleeping at the same time]
 * Mr. Krabs: Right on time! [turns to another sponge named SpongeTom while Squidward groans in defeat] Looks like I won't be needing you after all, SpongeTom.
 * SpongeTom: [throws his spatula onto the ground] D'oh! [stomps away]
 * [SpongeBob rolls into the restaurant and crashes into the register boat. SpongeBob flies into the kitchen and kicks a plank, knocking over a barrel.]
 * SpongeBob: [half awake] Good morning...

Karen's Baby [12.9b]

 * Karen: So, how was your talk with Chip?
 * Plankton: Oh, it went great. He's a good boy.
 * Karen: Yeah, he wh— [notices Chip is missing] Where—where is he?
 * Plankton: Oh, he ran away.
 * Karen: WHAT?! Why would my baby run away?
 * Plankton: Because I told him to. [He rolls his eye] Duh.
 * [Karen screams in an uncontrollable rage. Her hands gather up green electricity and form into a green rolling pin and a green frying pan. Plankton screams in terror as Karen goes to hurt him. Karen throws the green rolling pin at Plankton, which turns into an electric trident and pins him to the wall.]
 * Plankton: Karen, baby, let's be reasonable here!
 * Karen: [picks up the trident holding Plankton] You find our son and bring him home this instant or don't bother coming home! [her green frying pan turns into a spiked glove]
 * Plankton: [screams as Karen flings him out of the Chum Bucket] I'm going! I'm going!

Shell Games [12.10a]

 * Patrick: Hi, rock. I'm trying to enjoy a snack.
 * Tony: Hey, the name is Tony, not rock. And I think it's time for you to vamoose.
 * Patrick: Huh? What's a vanmoose? [Patrick imagines a moose of a van.]
 * Tony: [chuckles] You're a few pickles short of a jar, ain't ya, kid? I'll make it simple. [knocks on his shell] This is my shell. I live here, you don't, so beat it!
 * Patrick: Oh no! You can't fool me! This is my rock, and I'm not leaving! [pulls out glue and glues himself on Tony's shell. Tony tries to get Patrick off of him, but gives up.]
 * Tony: Alright, you daba dose. Stay up there if you want. I've got places to be.

---
 * Tony: [shouting at Patrick] GET OUT OF MY SHELL!
 * Patrick: [shouting at Tony] GET OUT OF MY ROCK!
 * Tony: [pushes Patrick] My shell!
 * Patrick: [attempts to push Tony] My shell! Uh, wait… rock!

Senior Discount [12.10b]

 * Mr. Krabs: And he don't buy nothin' else neither. He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup and listens to his radio, all for free. [Old Man Jenkins bangs on the radio to turn it on and sips on his "condiment soup"] And anytime someone says somethin' to him, it's always the same response...
 * Frankie Billy: Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup?
 * Old Man Jenkins: Respect your elders! [hits Frankie Billy on the head]
 * Frankie Billy: Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! [runs off crying]

Mind the Gap [12.11a]

 * SpongeBob: [cool voice] Hey, cool crowd. What's shaking? Oh, yeah. [enters the lounge] Hey, hipsters. It's groovy, cats. Oh, I can dig it. [One patron squeals happily and melts. SpongeBob slides across the floor just as the lounge's Maître D' shows up.]
 * Maître D': Oh, welcome, man. You're the coolest customer we've ever had.
 * SpongeBob: [cool voice] Oh, crazy, Daddy. Crazy. [pinches his cheek]
 * Maître D': Can I seat you at the coolest table? [points to the coolest table with all the cool people in it]
 * SpongeBob: [cool voice] No, thank you. I'm here to meet up with a real cool cat. Oh, there he his. Hey, Squideroonie!
 * [Squidward struggles to get his foot out of the chair, but falls over.]
 * Maître D': [deeply shocked] You're with him?
 * Squidward: [crawls over to SpongeBob] Yes, you're with me. And he is my— best... [twitches his eye and struggles to say "friend"] friend...
 * SpongeBob: [cool voice] You heard the man, folks. He's my best friend. Can you dig it? [snaps his fingers]
 * Maître D': [confused] Huh? [Everyone snaps their fingers.]

Dirty Bubble Returns [12.11b]

 * [The Dirty Bubble goes to the Goo Lagoon]
 * Dirty Bubble: I think, for dessert, I'll eat more dirt! [laughs evilly]
 * SpongeBob: Not Goo Lagoon! [The Dirty Bubble sucks up Goo Lagoon. SpongeBob grabs out paper and pencil to write quickly his last words] Thank you, my beloved pet Gary, thank you, my big pineapple, and my toolshed, and my mailbox, and Patrick! [Sobs as the dirt level increasingly gets higher and higher. Starts absorbing all the dirt.] Uh, what? Wow. Sometimes I just forget how absorbent I am. [proceeds to spin around inside like clothes in a side-loader washing machine]
 * Dirty Bubble: Wait, what? Ow, just... stop spinning, you sponge! You're stealing my grunge! [slowly shrinks, stammering] Stop that rhyme! [screams as he is absorbed by SpongeBob] [SpongeBob falls into Goo Lagoon's seabed. Burps out an shrunken version of the Dirty Bubble.] [high pitched] I may be a squirt, but I'm still full of dirt! [evil laughs]
 * SpongeBob: Aww, little mini DB is so cute! [Dirty Bubble spits dirt onto SpongeBob's eyelid. Officer Johnson catches Dirty Bubble and puts him into a jar held by lady officer]
 * Lady officer: We got him!
 * SpongeBob: Every time I wash dishes, I will think of you.
 * Dirty Bubble: Hmph. Every time I have nightmares, I'll think of you, too! [complaining noises]
 * Lady officer: Thank you, citizen. We'll take it from here.
 * SpongeBob: [Pretends to be the Dirty Bubble] It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. [evil laugh] [Police officers gasp] Just kidding! [laughs] [Police officers laugh with him. SpongeBob suddenly feels the urge to sneeze, splattering goo all over the place.]
 * Police officers: [angrily] Gesundheit.
 * SpongeBob: Thank you! [looks at lady officer] You got some schmutz under there. [Wipes off goo from her face. Grabs out a tissue and laughs.]

Jolly Lodgers [12.12a]

 * Squidward: Well, now this is very nice indeed [begins the relax on his bed until he melts on the bed to the bathroom tub] Mmm... This is Heaven. [All of a sudden, SpongeBob enters Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.] Hello? [peeks out] Anyone there? Hello? [Squidward shrugs it off and continues relaxing. He then drowns into the tub. Suddenly, Patrick comes from the other side to enter Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.] Hello? Did someone just come in? [Both SpongeBob and Patrick enter Squidward's room until they bump into each other.]
 * SpongeBob: Don't you just love playing Hotel: Slam and Run?
 * Patrick: I enjoy it an... [puts his tooth back into his mouth] ...intellectual challenge.
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick stands up, starts laughing, and both run out of Squidward's room. Squidward peeks from the bathroom with a robe on and a towel on his head.]
 * Squidward: Alright, I know I heard something in here! Ohh... [rubs his eyes] Maybe I'm just not relaxed enough.

Biddy Sitting [12.12b]

 * Mary: Oh, boys, right here! Oh, I could use a babysitter!
 * Patrick: Yay!
 * SpongeBob: Ooh! [he and Patrick rush towards Mary] While you go out, and dance, and revel...
 * Patrick: ...We will watch your little devil!
 * Mary: [SpongeBob and Patrick swirl her around] Yes! [hugs Patrick] Oh, thank you! [hugs SpongeBob then runs off] Thank you!
 * SpongeBob: Wait! Where's the baby?
 * Mary: She's inside! I'm free! I'm free! Hahahahaha!
 * [Mary hops away happily while SpongeBob and Patrick look confused at each other. But they both shrug and enter the house.]


 * SpongeBob: Hmm, strange... There don't seem to be any baby items in here. Hmm... [looks in a cabinet to find not baby items but old-woman stuff] Okay, pills, pills, dentures, more pills, hemorrhoid cream. [closes the cabinet but then notices a little birthday note stuck on the bottom-left corner of the cabinet] "Happy birthday to mother on her 137th birthday." Aw. [gasps and realizes the truth] 137th BIRTHDAY!!?? [hyperventilating] Oh! Baby Prunes isn't a baby, she's an old lady!!!

[12.13-14]

 * [The episode starts with Patchy the Pirate struggling to start his boat on someone's driveway.]
 * Patchy: Oh, hi, kids! Patchy The Pirate here on a glorious day. I'm going to deliver this here very special present to SpongeBob on his birthday. That is, if I can get this blasted boat to start. [turns :the ignition with his key] And start! [chuckles]
 * [Patchy's boat wouldn't start and Potty comes out of the trunk.]
 * Potty: Maybe if you remembered to fill the tank with gas...
 * Patchy: Oh, Potty, you're full of gas! Get outta here!
 * Potty: [flies onto the hood] I see the problem! [bangs on the hood with the hammer]
 * [The hood sent Patchy flying backwards and smashing into the garage door via airbag.]
 * Patchy: [groaning] Walking is better than driving anyway. I've been meaning to work on me land legs. [pulls up his pants and reveals his wavy legs]
 * Potty: Squawk, squawk!
 * Patchy: [takes the present from the trunk and happily laughs] Now to see which way the wind is blowing. [sticks his finger in his mouth, holds out his hand with a sail on it and the with blows the other direction] This way! [the wind blows Patchy down the street] Whoa!
 * Potty: [follows Patchy while squawking] Hard to port!
 * [Meanwhile, at the brink of dawn, SpongeBob is sleeping in his bed. Gary is holding a birthday present for SpongeBob while sleeping. Moments later, the alarm clock goes off.]
 * SpongeBob's alarm clock: Wake up!
 * Gary: [meows "Happy Birthday"]
 * SpongeBob: What? Today? My birthday? Oh, Gary, you know I never pay attention to those sorts of things.
 * [SpongeBob hops out of his bed and streamers and confetti fly out. He blows the noise maker a couple times and laughs. He opens Gary's present, which reveals to be a jellyfish net made out of slime.]
 * SpongeBob: [gasps] Oh, wow, Gary! Did you make me this jellyfishing net yourself?
 * Gary: [gives SpongeBob a thumb's up with his slime] Meow!
 * [SpongeBob swings the slime jellyfish net around, but splashes slime all over his bedroom. Some slime flew out his window and landed in Squidward's coffee as he's getting the newspaper. Squidward sips some of his coffee, unaware of the slime being in it. SpongeBob swings the net until it is gone.]
 * SpongeBob: Best present ever! [hugs Gary and laughs]

SpongeBob in RandomLand [12.15a]

 * [SpongeBob and Squidward chase after the Mr. Krabs look-alike through random happenings. They chase him on the back of dinosaurs with human heads. Then they chase him through a black and white dimension. SpongeBob drops the patty, but picks it up. They continue to chase the Mr. Krabs look-alike until they finally manage to make it back to their normal dimension.]
 * SpongeBob and Squidward: [see the Krusty Krab] Huh?
 * SpongeBob: It's the Krusty Krab! [he and Squidward enter the restaurant] Hey, Mr. Krabs, thanks for showing us the way out of RandomLand.
 * [The Mr. Krabs look-alike turns around and reveals himself that he is not Mr. Krabs, but an individual from RandomLand.]
 * Rodger: Excuse me, I'm not Krabs. The name is Rodger and I walked all the way from 86 Screwball Street to complain about never getting my delivery.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, your delivery, my good man. [Rodger eats the patty with his eyestalk-like hat and smiles] Mission accomplished. Better late than never.
 * Mr. Krabs: [sobs] Better never! If it's late, [pulls down the menu and points to the delivery notice] it's free! [sobs uncontrollably, pushes the register button with the signs "No Sale" and gets pushed into the kitchen]
 * [The strange lady creature takes the Krusty Krab bag, blows in it, and pops it, turning the screen white. The worm crawls around as the screen turns black. It forms a second head on its tail and it smiles with the word, "End," appearing in its teeth, ending the episode.]

SpongeBob's Bad Habit [12.15b]

 * [customers in the Krusty Krab are eating slowly, and making noises while doing so, which gets Squidward more and more angry with each noise. A customer burps which pushes Squidward to his breaking point]
 * Squidward: AAAH! ANOTHER ROTTEN DAY AT THE KRUSTY KRAB!

Handemonium [12.16a]

 * [Scene cuts to Larry's Gym, where Mr. Krabs arm-wrestles and defeats other tough fish like Reg and the Popeye fish. Plankton hops onto the table, in front of Mr. Krabs.]
 * Plankton: I want a rematch, Krabs!
 * Mr. Krabs: [dismisses Plankton] Boring. [shrugs] But whatevs.
 * Plankton: [pretends to be in pain, clutching his hand] Oh no, not a hand cramp! Not now! [smugly] Luckily I have a last-minute substitution, standing by. [takes a deep breath and blows a whistle]
 * [The ground rumbles and the Chum Bucket glove punches a hole into Larry's Gym. The glove then flicks the tough fish away with his fingers and makes its way to the wrestling table, about to wrestle with Mr. Krabs. Scene cuts to Larry the Lobster holding the mallet to ring the bell, but he faints onto the bell causing it to ring. The match between Mr. Krabs and the glove begins, and he struggles to defeat the glove.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [groaning in pain] Eeeh – oh, oh – oh — [Plankton is seen with an evil grin on his face, while Mr. Krabs continues to struggle] Any... last... words?
 * Plankton: [blows the whistle and the glove hoists Mr. Krabs up in the air] Just one... Sucker! [laughs maniacally while Mr. Krabs trembles in fear]
 * [The glove spins Mr. Krabs in the air and whacks him on the floor, causing a hole to form.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [regains consciousness] Huh –? [shadow forms above him] No, no, no, no, no, no —
 * [The other tough fish fall above Mr. Krabs as the glove gathers them all into the hole on the floor. Plankton hops on top of the glove.]
 * Plankton: [raises arms in victory] Ta-daah! Let's give a big hand to the new champion! [applauds; then takes a deep breath and blows the whistle] Okay, move it, filthy fingers! [rides glove like a horse straight to the Krusty Krab]

Breakin' [12.16b]

 * [SpongeBob sits quietly for a little while. He whistles the closing theme to himself to pass the time while noticing two customers eating their Krabby Patties and Squidward snoring. SpongeBob looks at the table and gasps when he sees a spot on it. He opens his face, grabs a cleaning spray and a rag and attempts to clean it.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [appears below the table] SpongeBob! What are you doing?!
 * SpongeBob: Uh, I just spotted a spot.
 * Mr. Krabs: You can't work on your break, boy-o! Period! Remember the fines?
 * Labor authority officer: [overhears it and gets real angry] I knew it! I've had my eye on you for years, Krabs! Oh, this violation is really gonna cost you! [looks through his list of fines given for the Krusty Krab] Hmm...
 * Mr. Krabs: [yelps] Oh, I can see we're gonna have to take drastic measures here.

Boss for a Day [12.17a]

 * SpongeBob: Just wait 'til you see what I've done to your restaurant. [pulling the wheelchair and headed to the Krusty Krab and looks around him and his customers] Nothing. Is it great? Everything's just how you left it. Whenever we have a problem around here, I ask myself what would Mr. Krabs do. [turns Mr. Krabs' wheelchair and makes Mr. Krabs dizzy] And I do that! I even hired a new fry cook since I'm too busy being the boss now. [turns Mr. Krabs' wheelchair to see the new fry cook] Just like you would have done.
 * [Mr. Krabs makes weird angry sounds and Patrick wearing SpongeBob's pants and spatula is in his bellybutton and put it back and he tried to eat a patty]
 * SpongeBob: Don't worry, I taught him everything I know. [turns Mr. Krabs' wheelchair and makes Mr. Krabs dizzy again]
 * [Patrick puts the spatula in his mouth and grabs the ketchup. He puts the spatula back in his hand, and the spatula is drooling. He then flips the ketchup with the spatula and puts it on the grill, but the grill is burning, and the ketchup is about to explode. Squidward is reading his book while his shift. Then, his face, part of his book, and one of the windows are covered with ketchup.]
 * Patrick: Order up! [Squidward gets very angry]
 * SpongeBob: You'll have a better view of my managerial magic from over here. [turns Mr. Krabs' wheelchair and makes Mr. Krabs dizzy again]


 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! You're all better! Sorry I let you down. All I wanted was to be a good boss, just like you!
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh well, there is no need to get your sails in a twist about it boy. Nobody's just like me, especially you. Besides, you saved me months in that there body cast. If it weren't for the rage I felt watching you destroy me restaurant, I woulda never forced me body to heal so quickly!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, so in a way, I’ve done good, huh?
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Not even close! You were the worst boss ever! I’m gonna have to dock your pay for decades, just to cover all the damage you caused! [laughs and turns on fan as he walks away]
 * 'SpongeBob: Oh, thanks Mr. Krabs! [spins along with the fan] You're the best boss everrrrrr!!!!!

The Goofy Newbie [12.17b]

 * Goofy Goober manager: I think you better go home and clean up.
 * Patrick: [whinny] But I haven't had my first ice cream break!
 * Goofy Goober manager: I'll give you another chance tomorrow. If it doesn't work out, I'm afraid you're fired... [clears throat] in a most appreciative way.

The Ghost of Plankton [12.18a]

 * [Plankton floats into Squidward's bed and possesses it like a puppet. The bed turns green and the box spring turns into Plankton's head. Plankton's eye appears about Squidward. Plankton shakes the bed and chuckles evilly as Squidward begins to wake up.]
 * Squidward: [screams] Who's there? Ohh, is that you, SpongeBob? [gets up and gets drenched on by green ectoplasm]
 * [Squidward removes his blindfold and becomes freaked out by the ectoplasm. Suddenly, the box spring forms into a giant mouth and makes an evil laugh. Squidward becomes so scared that his skin turned white. He tries to escape, but Plankton pulled him under the covers. Squidward releases himself from the covers and hides in the drawers.]
 * The Flying Dutchman: [writing down on his clipboard] Oooh. Monster mouth with a bucket of ghost goo—very good marks. [chuckles] Nice haunt, swabby!
 * Squidward: [comes out of the drawer with his clarinet and pants heavily] Oh, what a terrible nightmare. Oh, thanks for being here, Clarry. You'll keep the monsters away. [inhales and blows horrible music out through his clarinet]
 * [Squidward's clarinet playing drives Plankton and the Flying Dutchman crazy. Plankton floats over to Squidward and grabs the clarinet.]'
 * Plankton: Give me that!
 * Squidward: Clarry!
 * [Squidward and Plankton get into a tug-o-war with the clarinet. Plankton turns into a ghostly SpongeBob and scares Squidward, whose eyes pop out and scream. Squidward runs out of the drawers and gets hit in the head when he crashed into the ceiling. Squidward falls down to the floor and is knocked out unconscious. Plankton throws the clarinet away and changes back.]
 * Plankton: Hey, I picked something up! I can pick things up! [picks up a vase and drops it]
 * The Flying Dutchman: Look at you. You skipped ahead to the last lesson! [pulls out a mallet]
 * Plankton: It's okay. You don't have to— [gets hit by the mallet]

My Two Krabses [12.18b]

 * [The real Mr. Krabs, still without his shell, is going back into his house, trying to make sure no one sees him as he does so.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Haha! I made it! [suddenly, the lights turn on]
 * Pearl: Ew, Daddy! [Pearl's friends are having a slumber party] You're naked and ruining my cheerleader's slumber party! [she covers her eyes, as Mr. Krabs screams and tries to cover himself]
 * Pearl's friends: [cheerleading] Hey, hey, hey, Mr. K! We don't want to see your booty today!
 * [Mr. Krabs screams and runs upstairs and looks for something to wear.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Okay, I know that spare is in here somewhere. [rummages through his wardrobes and finds a shirt] Aha! [the shirt is too small] Ew, haven't worn this one in a while. Eh, well it'll just have to do. I'm coming, me precious Puff! [runs out the door, only to be spotted by Pearl and her friends again, who scream]
 * Pearl: DADDY!

Knock Knock, Who's There? [12.19a]

 * Mr. Krabs: [while knocking on the door] Barnacles! Open up, yo- you- Huh. Aha! [Mr. Krabs laughs and grunts while going through the mail slot. Then, he falls into a puddle. Mr. Krabs notices an open window and climbs towards it; muttering] Ugh, and I told him to check the windows, didn't I?
 * SpongeBob: [on the phone] Patrick, you've gotta come over to Krabs' place. Someone's trying to break in! [Patrick mumbles] Uh, SquarePants. [Patrick mumbles again] SpongeBob SquarePants. [Patrick mumbles again] No, you're Patrick! [a realistic close-up of SpongeBob's face] Please hurry.
 * Mr. Krabs: [Mr. Krabs keeps climbing towards the window. Then, he notices Patrick jumping in puddles with his boots.] Huh? Patrick? What's that pink clown doing here? Eh, who cares? SpongeBob will never open the door for him.
 * Patrick: [Patrick gets to the door] Beep, beep, [Patrick removes his boots] beep.
 * Mr. Krabs: Great horn spoon! How's he doing that?
 * [Patrick puts his butt through the mail slot while SpongeBob pulls from the other side of the door. They both crash into the wall.]
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] Thank goodness you don't have any bones, buddy.
 * Patrick: Nope, all blubber. [close-up on Patrick while he laughs]

Pat Hearts Squid [12.19b]

 * Squidward: I said, BE QUIET OR I'M CALLING THE-- Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! [Squidward's house falls and crumbles to bits]

Lighthouse Louie [12.20a]

 * Larry: [amazed by the reflection] Whoa, those dudes are huge! I wonder what they lift. [hits Bubble Bass slightly with his elbow]
 * Bubble Bass: [notices the reflection and drops his drink in fear] Those aren't dudes. They're giant monsters! [screaming] EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!! [the three start panicking and run around in circles, Louie is biting SpongeBob, and their ruckus causes the lighthouse to start rocking. At the same time, Mrs. Puff is still listening and rocking to the rock music, unaware of what's going on outside. The lighthouse tips over and rolls out of the boating school. Larry, Bubble Bass, and the small fish are still panicking until they see that the reflection is gone]
 * Larry: [happy] Those buff monsters have vanished! [hugs the other two] We're saved! [he and the other two hear some noise, and realize the lighthouse is coming their way]
 * Bubble Bass: We're doomed! [gets out his drink and starts walking across the sidewalk away from the lighthouse, while the other two runoff in a different direction. The lighthouse runs over him, causing him to get submerged into the sidewalk with his posterior sticking out] My cheeks!
 * [Bikini Bottom News plays, showing Perch Perkins having an interview with Fred about the lighthouse.]
 * Perch Perkins: Can you please tell our viewers the cause of this destruction?
 * Fred: [frightened] It was a lighthouse. It rolled through town, destroying everything in its path! [pants] A lighthouse! [goes on his knees and starts crying]
 * Perchy Perkins: [shocked] My goodness. Were you or YOUR LEGS injured by this insane lighthouse?
 * Fred: [sad and kicks a rock] No.


 * Mr. Krabs: [angry along with the others in the mob] Puff! Your blasted lighthouse destroyed the whole town! [becomes sad] And me restaurant!
 * Mrs. Puff: [shocked] My lighthouse?!
 * The entire mob: What are you going to do about it?!
 * Mrs. Puff: [puts on her headphones, turns on her radio, and starts rocking again] Talk to the fin! [The snails come out of the box, and rock with her as well as the episode ends]

Hiccup Plague [12.20b]

 * [The episode begins at a tree house, where two kids are laughing.]
 * Timmy: [takes out a can of Fizz Bomb soda and drinks it, then burps] How's that, Tina?
 * Tina: No, Timmy, we want a hiccup. [holds some Spicy Kelp Chips] Try this!
 * [Tina putting Spicy Kelp Chips in mouth and gives some to Timmy, then they eat it, then their mouths are burning, then they went to the floor, then hiccup, then the hiccup bubbles combined and Tina gets the jar to put the bubble in]
 * Tina: Yes, we have created the worst case of hiccups in history! [laughs]
 * Timmy: This is gonna make a great prank.
 * [They release the hiccup bubble into Bikini Bottom, which is about to land on an old woman, but she unknowingly blows it away while blowing her nose.]

A Cabin in the Kelp [12.21a]

 * Sandy: Gal Pals, we have to save SpongeBob!
 * Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: [whimpering] Gal Pals. [The girls break through the front door to rescue SpongeBob. But, to their relief and surprise, the old lady turns out to be a sales lady giving SpongeBob pinecones on a stick.]
 * SpongeBob: Wow! [the old lady gives SpongeBob a pinecone on a stick] Ooh, another pinecone on a stick! I love it. [takes it and gets another one from the old lady] Wow! [takes another pinecone on a stick] I'm gonna get one of these for each of the Gal Pals.
 * Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: [confused] Huh?
 * Sandy: [laughs in relief] It's only a cabin-to-cabin country sales lady. Not Flibberty Gibbet at all.
 * Flibberty Gibbet: [off-screen] Did someone say my name? [the girls turn and see her for real this time] Hi, gals!
 * Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: Flibberty Gibbet! [scream in horror as they run out of the cabin and into the woods]
 * Flibberty Gibbet: I—I just wanted to say all's forgiven!
 * SpongeBob: [follows the girls] Hey, wait! You'll need my lucky peanut!
 * Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: Gal Pals! [crash onto the screen] [The words "The End" is shown and the episode ends.]

The Hankering [12.21a]

 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, the Chum Bucket's the only place in town still selling chum, but I can't go crawling to Plankton for help. No, I won't. I got too much pride for that. [cuts to Mr. Krabs invading Plankton's trash can, looking for some chum] Oh, come on, there's gotta be some chum in here somewhere!
 * Karen: [comes out with a flashlight] Hello? [Mr. Krabs hides behind the trash can] Who's out there?
 * Plankton: [comes out with a bat] All right, miscreant, come over here where I can destroy you! [swings the bat around, but gets crushed by it]
 * [Mr. Krabs attempts to escape, but Karen catches him.]
 * Karen & Plankton: Krabs??
 * Plankton: What are you doing here? [crawls out from under his bat]
 * Mr. Krabs: Nothing, nothing! I, uh, [takes the shoe out of his mouth] lost my shoe! See? Found it. [laughs] Okay, bye. [his stomach growls loudly]
 * Plankton: [suspiciously] Hold it. What's going on with you, Krabs? Your clothes are a mess and your stomach's making strange noises.
 * Mr. Krabs: [wears the shoe] What are you talking—I'm... [stammers until he gives in] Oh, fine! [throws away the shoe] I'm hooked on chum, okay?!
 * Plankton: Say what?! [his skeleton falls out in shock]
 * Mr. Krabs: Look at me now! Digging through garbage for scraps! [sobs uncontrollably]

Who R Zoo? [12.22a]

 * Patrick: Oh, that's it now. Let it all out.
 * SpongeBob: [sobs] I-I just want to pet the critters. Does that make me an animal? [continues to cry]
 * Patrick: That mean old zookeeper! [scratches his back] He even looks like a monkey and he smells like one too! [scoffs] You should just make your own zoo.

Kwarantined Krab [12.22b]

 * Squidward: So, let me get this straight. [cut to inside of an igloo] Nobody in this freezer is actually sick?
 * SpongeBob: [speaking at the same time] Never felt better.
 * Pearl: [speaking at the same time] Healthy.
 * Mrs. Puff: [speaking at the same time] Not me.
 * Patrick: Ice cream!
 * Mrs. Puff: Well, if no one is sick in here, then the sick person must be...
 * Pearl: [gasps] Daddy! Oh, no! [starts crying tears which turn into ice cubes]
 * Mrs. Puff: There, there. [gets hit by the ice cubes, grunting slightly]
 * Squidward: I say we bust out of here, grab Krabs, and lock him away!
 * Mrs. Puff: Oh, yeah!
 * Pearl: Daddy?!
 * Patrick: Who's this now? [eats some ice cream]
 * SpongeBob: Well, I don't know. Mr. Krabs didn't tell us to question his orders. I'll just wait for him to let me out.
 * Squidward: [smiling] You can't cook Krabby Patties if you're locked in the freezer.
 * SpongeBob: [shocked of hearing what Squidward said, and now changes his mind] All right. [puts on sunglasses] Let's put this crab on ice. [everyone busts out of the freezer, with Mr. Krabs noticing.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [screams] You sickos are supposed to be in the freezer!
 * Patrick: You're the sicko! [jumps towards Mr. Krabs, but he flattens himself to get out of the way, so he crashes into a table instead]
 * Mr. Krabs: Stay away from me, you sickos! [crawls under the grill, to where SpongeBob also flattens himself and crawls under in pursuit. Both of them getting covered in the grime there in the process]
 * SpongeBob: For the good of all of us, you have to go into the freezer!
 * Mr. Krabs: Keep your filthy hands off me, you infected ingrate! [notices the opening leading to the grease trap] Oh, look. Freedom! [drains himself into the grease trap. SpongeBob then crawls out from under the grill, now covered in the grime present of being infected]
 * SpongeBob: He's in the grease trap!
 * Squidward: Well, someone's gonna have to fish him out before he gets to the sewer and infects the whole town!
 * Patrick: Hey, I can help! [pries the grill out of the way and begins shoving Squidward into the opening to the grease trap]
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick!
 * Patrick: Huh?
 * SpongeBob: There's a full-sized hatch over here. [begins scratching himself]
 * Patrick: Well, what do you know? [finishes shoving Squidward into the grease trap]
 * Squidward: [falls into the grease] Eugene? Are you in here? [Mr. Krabs surfaces behind him, catching him off-guard, making him scream and get some of the grease that was on him onto him.]
 * Mr. Krabs: Ah! Sicko germs! [leaves the grease trap through the full sized hatch, catching SpongeBob by surprise] You can't catch me! I'm too healthy for all you, sickos! [laughs as he leaves through the service window]
 * Pearl: Daddy, stop! [follows him through the service window, prying it off the wall due to her massive size]
 * [The others head to the dining area to see Pearl with the service window around her neck and Mr. Krabs stuck in her blowhole. She sniffs him up and and sneezes him out, with him missing his shirt. Mr. Krabs lands near a corner and Patrick confronts him.]
 * Patrick: There's nowhere left to run!
 * Mr. Krabs: I'm not licked yet! [snaps his claws]
 * Patrick: [boxing bell ringing] Oh, yeah? [uses his tongue to try and grab Mr. Krabs, but he dodges and grabs his tongue and begins swinging him around] Hey, hey! SpongeBob!
 * Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me! [swings Patrick into the broom closet, getting him covered in dust, but he yanks on the tongue, yanking him into the closet, getting him covered in dust as well]
 * [Patrick then regains control of his tongue and begins swinging Mr. Krabs around, catching Squidward and making him crash into SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs eventually lets go and is sent flying towards Pearl, who is shown to now have a stuffy blowhole, and she dodges him, making him land in a trash can held by Mrs. Puff.]
 * Mrs. Puff: I got him! I got- [suddenly inflates sending the trash can flying with Mr. Krabs inside. He lands on a window, and the trash and the trash can lands on Mrs. Puff's head]
 * [The battle continues until nighttime, when the health inspector returns and unlocks the chains and enters.]
 * Health inspector: Hello? Anyone here? Ha, funny story, um... [holds out his detector] I was holding my equipment [flips his detector 180 degrees] upside down yesterday. Nobody was actually sick! Oh, what a goof. [hears some moaning and turns on his flashlight to investigate, and notices Squidward, whose feet are noticeably swollen] Oh, my Neptune! Grease Gout. [notices SpongeBob looking all moldy as he scratches himself] Moldy Measles! [notices a pile of trash shifting, and out emerges Mrs. Puff, coughing up a tin can] Trash Trichinosis! [notices Patrick lying down with his tongue all stretched out, as he coughs up three literal dust bunnies who scurry away] Dust Bunny Bronchitis?! [notices Pearl, still with her stuffy blowhole, as she sneezes out Mr. Krabs' shirt covered in boogers] Polyester Plague?! [something drips on his arm and he notices the source. He gasps. It is Mr. Krabs, showing symptoms for all of the diseases, even coughing up a literal dust bunny] The whole shebang?! [everyone crawls towards him and he quickly escapes] They're all sick! Ultra-Mega Quarantine!
 * HAZMAT Unit: You heard him! Get this disease-ridden cesspit out of here!
 * [More HAZMAT Units board up the Krusty Krab in a huge wooden crate.]
 * HAZMAT Unit: Drop it somewhere safe. [a helicopter shows up and deploys a hook, and a HAZMAT Unit applies it to a lifting ring]
 * HAZMAT Unit: Somewhere no one ever goes. [the helicopter lifts the Krusty Krab and drops it on the Chum Bucket]
 * Plankton: [off-screen] What the...?! [the sickos attack Plankton off-screen] No! I don't wanna get sick too! Stay away! NO! [sneezes of his clam flu] Ah, barnacles.

Plankton's Intern [12.23a]

 * [The episode begins at the Chum Bucket where Plankton struggles to build his new invention.]
 * Plankton: Karen, can you give me a hand with my new Dodanatron?
 * Karen: Sorry Sheldon, I'm off to visit my Motherboard. [leaves the Chum Bucket]
 * Plankton: [gasps, runs after Karen] Wait! How am I supposed to get anything done without you?
 * Karen: Don't worry, I put up Help Wanted flyers for an intern. See? [throws intern flyer, and it flies until it hits Plankton's eye]
 * Plankton: [sees flyer] Ooh. "INTERN WANTED." Apply today at Chum Bucket Labs? [crumbles flyer] I'm a mad scientist! If getting help was that easy, I wouldn't have built a computer wife!
 * Person: Is this where I apply for the intern job?
 * [Plankton sees the newly-formed line for his new intern job and gets an exhausted look on his face. Bubble transition to inside the Chum Bucket.]
 * Plankton: Ahem. Hello and welcome to Chum Bucket Labs. As an intern, you will gain valuable work experience and a sub-minimum wage. [the crowd sighs and leaves, leaving only Patrick] Well that narrowed it down.
 * Patrick: I wanna do the science!
 * Plankton: [quietly] Oh boy. [bubble transition] Okay, let's see how ya handle scientific equipment. This is my Duplo Maker! It's very, very simple.
 * Patrick: Oh, like me!
 * Plankton: [takes out a coin] Just put this coin in the chamber-
 * Patrick: Gotcha! [grabs the coin and squishes Plankton]
 * Plankton: Ow! No! Just the coin, you idiot! [gasps as Patrick steps inside the machine]
 * [The Duplo Maker creates a ton of Patrick doubles. It is no longer duplicating, as the door opens and many Patrick clones appear. Plankton then screams and runs as a Patrick double tries to land on him, but fails.]
 * Plankton: Oh.
 * Patrick clones: Do we get the job?
 * Plankton: I'll tell ya what ya get. [takes out a remote] You get out! [pushes the button on the remote, and a robot hand with a glove smacks the Patrick clones out of the Chum Bucket]
 * Patrick clone #1: Hi, I'm Patrick.
 * Patrick clone #2: No, I'm Patrick.
 * Patrick clone #3: Who's Patrick?
 * Plankton: Well, great. Not a single applicant left.
 * Pearl: Hello? I'm still here.
 * Plankton: [shouting as his iris turns into a whale] Whale! [Pearl steps closer to him as he climbs up to his desk] No! Not you! Whales eat Plankton!
 * Pearl: I don't eat Plankton. That's baby food. I'm just here for the job.
 * Plankton: Really? You're not gonna eat me?
 * Pearl: Eww, no! I just need money, but my dad's such a skinflint with my allowance.
 * Plankton: Alright, you're hired. Whatever.

Patrick's Tantrum [12.23b]

 * [Bubble transition to SpongeBob walking to the Krusty Krab, exhausted.]
 * SpongeBob: [tired] For my buddy Patrick. [Patrick is shown eating a poster, holding a winner trophy] I did it, pal. I silenced every bell in town so that you will no longer have a tantrum, buddy.
 * Patrick: Aww. [picks up SpongeBob] Thank you, best friend. [hugs SpongeBob]
 * Mr. Krabs: [injured, holding money] I don't care about bells ringing or conditioning customers anymore, 'cause I've got a million dollars! [laughs as he puts the money in the register. He then presses a button on the register in slow motion, causing it to ring; in slow motion] Uh-oh.
 * [Patrick drops SpongeBob and starts to have another tantrum, breaking the trophy, and kicking the tables and chairs. Mr. Krabs holds SpongeBob in front of him. Patrick bangs the register open, and starts ripping the money to shreds.]
 * Mr. Krabs: No no no no no no no!
 * Herb: [he and Margie appear] Hello, son. We saw you fighting today.
 * Margie: On the TV. We're so proud.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Mr. and Mrs. Star. I know you are loving parents, but you really messed up your kids by ringing a bell whenever it was time for his bath.
 * Margie: Bell? We never rang a bell.
 * Herb: Yeah, never.
 * Patrick: [stops having a tantrum] You never rang a bell?
 * Herb: No, don't you remember? We would squeeze your rubber duck.
 * Patrick: [gasps] My rubber duck.
 * Herb: Yes. [holds up the rubber duck] This one.
 * Patrick: [takes the rubber duck and holds it]
 * SpongeBob: Aw, kinda gets you right in your heart's kitchen, doesn't it, Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, I think I can tape it all back together. [close-up of a taped-up dollar bill]
 * Patrick: Ducky. I wonder if it still quacks. [squeezes the duck, and it quacks, triggering another tantrum, breaking stuff off-screen]
 * SpongeBob: [holding a jar of jellyfish jelly] Oh, here we go again! [laughs and runs after Patrick]
 * [The kid on the tricycle with the chimpanzee TV appears outside, and the camera irises out as the episode ends.]

Bubble Bass' Tab [12.24a]

 * [SpongeBob and Squidward are in the cellar of Bubble Bass' home, which is like the game, Three Deadly Challenges]
 * SpongeBob: Wow. A life-size version of the Three Deadly Challenges. Beautiful.
 * Squidward: Looks like a hobo campground.
 * SpongeBob: No, Squidward. You have to look with your imagination. [waves his hand across the screen, revealing a more fantasy-like landscape]
 * Squidward: What the? No! [ruins the fantasy landscape with his tentacles] It's a dump!
 * Bubble Bass: Thou art two oozing cysts on the hind side of a plague dog's nose.
 * Squidward: What did he say?
 * SpongeBob: The colorful insults are the best part of the game.
 * Squidward: That figures. Hmm. [walks to where Bubble Bass is along with SpongeBob] So how do you win this goofball game, anyway?
 * SpongeBob: Since Bubble Bass challenged us, all we have to do is get close enough to tag him out. We get three chances, or should I say three challenges.
 * Squidward: Oh. [grunts]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, boy! [he and Squidward grab a sword] Look, Squidward! [slashes with a cardboard sword a few times]
 * Squidward: Oh, this feels stupid. [sighs]

Kooky Cooks [12.24b]

 * [The episode begins at Fancy!, where Mrs. Puff and Mr. Krabs are sitting together at a table]
 * Mrs. Puff: Oh, this restaurant is so fancy! Even the silverware is made of velvet. [feels the fork] Ooh.
 * Mr. Krabs: [laughs and tickles Mrs. Puff with his finger] Nothing's too good for my Puffykins.
 * Waiter: Madame and Monsieur, your menus. [hands out menus to Mrs. Puff and Mr. Krabs]
 * Mr. Krabs: Thank you. [briefly reads menu] These prices! [the prices go up on his menu]
 * Waiter: And what would mademoiselle desire?
 * Mrs. Puff: [giggles] I don't know. What do you think, Krabsy-Wabsy?
 * Mr. Krabs: The water looks delicious, Puffcake.
 * Mrs. Puff: [laughs, pinches Mr. Krabs' cheek] Such a kidder. Monsieur and I will have the Kelp Konsuime to start.
 * Mr. Krabs: [gulps] Start?
 * Mrs. Puff: Followed by the Sargasso Salad, [Mr. Krabs' menu gets set on fire] and the Sweet and Sour Algae.
 * Waiter: Ah, may I suggest the Coral Jubilee for dessert? It's our most expensive item.
 * Mrs. Puff: Oh, yes! We must try that, Eugene. We'll take two.
 * Mr. Krabs: [laughs nervously] Yeah, sure. [chuckles] Of course.
 * Waiter: Excellent choice, mademoiselle. [Mr. Krabs moans]
 * Mr. Krabs' eyestalks: Do something, Krabs! You're gonna go broke!
 * Mr. Krabs: [looks around, and sees the waiter holding two soup bowls] Ah! Hee hee hee. I'll get soup all over me nice suit, and our meal will be free. [rolls small dinner roll onto floor, which the waiter slips on, but lands safely and catches the soup in the bowls]
 * [applause]

Escape From Glove World [12.25]

 * Patrick: I don't know what a pink plonker is, but I don't like it! [punches Animatronic Hieronymus with his tongue, knocking his head off]
 * Animatronic Hieronymus Glove: Aaaaaaaaah!
 * Patrick: [attaches himself to Animatronic Hieronymus's body] Ooh! Hey! I like this body better than mine... it comes with pockets!
 * Animatronic Hieronymus Glove: I like my new body too! [walks up using Patrick's body which he struggles to control] But I still want that head! [tries to fight Patrick]
 * Patrick: I said I was sorry, you weirdo! [they continue fighting, and knock each other's heads off. The heads keep fighting on the ground and SpongeBob jumps to avoid them while the toddler laughs and claps]
 * Hieronymus Glove: Enough! [the heads stop fighting, and the real Hieronymus Glove, stuck in a block of ice, rolls up to them while a pair of servants sweep the ground in front of him] No, no, this won't do at all! Put those heads back on their bodies post-haste! [the servants toss their brooms aside and walk towards the group] Splendid!
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow! [the servants put Patrick's head back on his body] Are you the real Hieronymus Glove?
 * Animatronic Hieronymus Glove: [the servants put Animatronic Hieronymus's head back on his body] No, he's not, I'm the real Hieronymus Glove!
 * Hieronymus Glove: Hahahaha, splendid! Do wipe that one's memory bank before he does more damage to my park. Thank you! [one of the servants whacks Patrick's head with a giant wrench] Not him, the other one!
 * Animatronic Hieronymus Glove: Hmm? [the servant whacks Animatronic Hieronymus's head with the wrench] Ow! Re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-- and that's why we wear gloves on our hands and not our knees! Haha... [powers down and falls over. The servants catch him and carry him away]
 * Hieronymus Glove: Splendid! I'm afraid I'm the real Hieronymus Glove, and I'm at your service.
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: We love your gloves!
 * Hieronymus Glove: Splendid! And since being terrorized by our robots has never been Glove World policy, you are all hereby released from Glove Jail!
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: We've been pardoned! Splendid!
 * Hieronymus Glove: Splendid! And for proving yourselves to be unselfish and kind, I'm going to give all of Glove World to the both of you!
 * SpongeBob and Patrick: Ahhhhhh! [the servants weld crowns to SpongeBob and Patrick's heads] Really?
 * Hieronymus Glove: Of course not! Hahahahaha! I may be cryogenically frozen, but I'm not a loony! [they all laugh, and the floor rises up to take them back to Glove World as Hieronymus begins singing] ♪Well, that concludes our show and as you can see, there still is nothing quite like gloves!
 * Until we meet again for a shopping spree, where I hope you buy all kinds of gloves to love!
 * With the handy help of SpongeBob and Patrick, we defeated my crazy robot head!
 * Now that the twit is gone...♪
 * Animatronic Hieronymus Glove: [singing] ♪Glove World can carry on!♪
 * Hieronymus Glove: [singing] ♪And the toddler can go to bed. Goodnight!♪
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick fall asleep as the curtains go down. The toddler jumps out of their arms and runs off, waking them up.]
 * Patrick: Hey! [they go running after him]
 * SpongeBob: Come back here, little guy!
 * Patrick: I saved you a Ham Fist! [the second act, and the entire episode, ends with a cut to black]

Krusty Koncessionaires [12.26a]

 * [SpongeBob keeps giving Krabby Patties to the crowd]
 * Fred: Hey! Where's my Patty?
 * [SpongeBob throws two Krabby Patty's in Fred's face; two more customers shout for SpongeBob, and they get their patties as well]
 * SpongeBob: I'm a patty launching machine! [laughing]
 * Fred: [takes the patties off his eyes] Thank you, Patty boy.
 * SpongeBob: It was nothing. [realizes his launcher is empty] Nothing! I'm outta patties! Well, I guess I just better make some more. [goes into the tray and works]
 * Man: Umm mm huh?
 * SpongeBob: [keeps working until he comes back out] Fresh hot Krabby Patties here! Put a patty in your piehole! Huh? [looks at the state of the people] Awww... Looks like I fed my entire section. Hmm... [notes other people in the other half starving] Well, I guess Squidward wouldn't mind if I sell a few patties in his section. [goes over to the other side]

Dream Hoppers [12.26b]

 * [The episode starts with SpongeBob walking home exhausted from the previous episode]
 * SpongeBob: Krabby Patties, get your Krabby Patties here... Order up... [his patty launcher gets stuck and makes him slip] Oops! Or down. [laughs] Top row, get your patties. [groans; Gary picks up a patty like a chew toy] A patty for Gary? [Gary spits out the patty] Goodnight. Eat tight. "Eat tight." [Laughs then snores; Gary yawns then snores]
 * [A thought bubble pops up and SpongeBob's dream appears. The rest of Dream Hoppers is a non-dialogue episode]