Spy Kids

Spy Kids is a 2001 family film starring Alexa PenaVega and Daryl Sabara. Upon finding that their average-Joe parents were superspies, working with the OSS, Carmen and Juni's parents get kidnapped by entertainer Fegan Floop, and the kids set out to rescue their parents.

Carmen Cortez

 * My parents can't be spies! They’re not cool enough!
 * So are we.
 * [sarcastically] Sorry Juni, guess you can't be a spy.
 * That's the safehouse?

Juni Cortez

 * I'm toast.
 * (upon finding his father as a Fooglie) That's my Fooglie! The one I drew. It's Dad.
 * Looks more like an outhouse.
 * That's because I'm mad! You kidnapped my parents, made psycho robot children, and swallowed up my sister!

Fegan Floop

 * Minion?
 * But I didn't want any of that.
 * From sweaty hands sprout warts. Do you know why you have sweaty hands?
 * You don't look very scared to me.
 * Thank you Minion. Now all I have to do is to make them work for real.

Dialogue

 * Carmen: "A good spy uses his head, got that? It's the first one in the book!
 * Juni: (puts on sunglasses) Ew, gross.
 * Carmen: What do you see?
 * Juni: You.
 * Carmen: [sarcastic] Very funny. Focus your eyes closer.

---


 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: Hi! I'm Ms. Gradenko, we work for your parents.
 * Carmen: "We"?
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: Oh, I can understand if you don't trust me. You were a baby when we first met. [Opens door and enters] Remember me now? [Carmen and Juni shake their heads.] Sorry. I have a key, you see? We're all on the same side. We're here to protect you.
 * Carmen My mom has a bracelet like that.
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: OSS, standard issue. We all have one.
 * Carmen: OSS? You work with my parents?
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: Yes. [Her men start walking round the safehouse and begin examining objects] Now, please listen closely. Open your ears. Your father was able to send one last communique this morning before he disappeared. It consisted of 5 letters: F-L-O-O...P.
 * Juni: [in disbelief] But you're wrong. Fabulous Floop would never do that.
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: Oh, trust me, he's not that fabulous. In fact... [displays the photos of the Fooglies] recognize these?
 * Juni: Floop's Fooglies. I got toy versions.
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: This is what they look like before he mutated them. [Gradenko shows that the Fooglies are actually mutated secret agents. Juni cocks an eyebrow.]
 * Carmen: You mean these mutants are captured secret agents?
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: We're dealing with a genius.
 * Carmen: [to Juni] Told you Floop was a freak.
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: And you know that cute little tuneless song the characters sing? Play it backwards.
 * Fooglies: We're trapped! Floop is a madman! Help us! Save us! Floop is a madman! Help us! Save us!
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: A cry for help.
 * Carmen: [Referring to the Fooglies] Will Floop do that to Mom and Dad?
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: Definitely. Unless he gets something your father helped develop. If there's anything you can possibly remember--
 * Carmen: [quietly] The Third Brain lives.
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: What?
 * Carmen: Um, Felix gave us a message to deliver to the OSS and, um, here you are.
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: Here I am. What's the message?
 * Carmen: The Third Brain lives.
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: Carmen, you have just joined the ranks of women spies in the OSS. Brilliant.
 * Juni: [rolls eyes] Girls.
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: Now, where does the Third Brain live exactly? Did Felix tell you that?
 * Carmen: I don't think he said.
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: He didn't say? Are you sure? Search the place. It wasn't at the house, so it must be here.
 * Carmen: You were at our house? [Gradenko laughs]
 * Juni: [seeing the N.I.X. Superguppy being sunk] Oh, no!
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: [sees the Third Brain] Oh, my God. It exists.
 * Carmen: That's what Floop wants?
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: Oh! It's so beautiful!
 * Juni: Carmen! She's working for Floop! [Carmen runs to Juni]
 * Ms. Tatiana Gradenko: [to henchman] Fly this to Floop's castle immediately.
 * Henchman: Yes, ma'am.
 * Carmen: Don't move! [holds up gadget]
 * [the henchmen and Ms. Gradenko laugh]
 * Ms Tatiana Gradenko: You don't even know what those things are!
 * Carmen: I know they're heavy. [throwing stance]

---


 * Machete: Who are you?
 * Carmen: Carmen Elizabeth Juanita Echo Sky Brava Cortez.

---


 * Carmen: [Juni contacts her through the walkie talkie] What?!
 * Juni: [into walkie-talkie] Where did you go?
 * Carmen: I'm right behind him! Where are you?!
 * Juni: I'm toast.

---


 * Juni: Don't drop me!
 * Carmen: I'm not gonna drop you! [drops Juni]

---


 * Ms. Gradenko: Have a seat, Mr Lithp. You'll be more comfortable.
 * Mr. Lisp: It's Lisp. [sits down] My army, Ms. Gradenko, is the only comfort I need.
 * Minion: [puts mutated right hand on Lisp] [high-pitched] They're on their way now, sir.
 * Mr. Lisp: [sees Minion's head] [shocked] Minion? What happened to your head?
 * Minion: [high-pitched] Oh, don't worry. I think it's reversible. [he smiles through all four heads]

---


 * [Minion is speaking to Lisp on the TV]
 * Mr. Lisp: I trust this time Floop will have a success to show us.
 * Minion The Fabulous Floop is away on other business, sir. Your army is complete. The Ultimate Destructive Force is now within your grasp.
 * Lisp: I'll believe that when I see it. [cuts off his webcam]
 * [Minion sits back. Ms Gradenko places her hand on his shoulder.]
 * Minion: Welcome back, Ms. Gradenko. [Minion takes Gradenko's hand and kisses it.]
 * Ms. Gradenko: [Revealed to be half-bald from the Buddy Pack jetpack flames burning her hair off] It's good to be back, Alex. Let's never have children.

---


 * [last lines]
 * Devlin: Ah, Cortezes. An emergency assignment has come up in the Far East. I need you on it right away.
 * Ingrid: Oh, sorry, Devlin. We haven't talked about this as a family yet, so--
 * Gregorio: Whether we come out of retirement or not is a decision that is up to us. And our kids.
 * Devlin: Uh, Gregorio, Ingrid, I wasn't talking to you.
 * Gregorio: Ey?
 * Devlin: No, this assignment is for Carmen and Juni. They're the ones we need. They're the two most amazing field agents that this organization's ever seen. So what do you say, kids? You up for it?
 * Juni: Devlin, if you want the Cortezes, you take all the Cortezes. Even Mom and Dad.
 * Carmen: From now on, whatever we do, we do together. Spy work? That's easy. Keeping a family together, that's difficult. And that's the mission worth fighting for. [turns off TV, and the credits roll.]

Cast

 * Antonio Banderas as Gregorio Cortez (Carmen & Juni's father)
 * Carla Gugino as Ingrid Cortez (Carmen & Juni's mother)
 * Alan Cumming as Fegan Floop
 * Teri Hatcher as Ms. Tatiana Gradenko, Floop's henchwoman
 * Cheech Marin as Felix Gumm
 * Danny Trejo as Isador "Machete" Cortez (Carmen & Juni's paternal uncle)
 * Robert Patrick as Frederick Lisp, Floop's henchman
 * Tony Shalhoub as Alexander Minion, Floop's second henchman
 * Alexa Vega as Carmen Cortez
 * Daryl Sabara as Juni Cortez, Carmen's younger brother
 * George Clooney as Devlin
 * Mike Judge as Donnagon Giggles / Donnamight

The Cortez Family

 * Gregorio
 * Ingrid (wife)
 * Carmen (daughter)
 * Juni (son)